I recently read a comment from an Obama supporter here at No Quarter, who asked, “What’s an Obot?”
I think he was serious! Of course, an Obot is an Obama Robot, programmed to see Obama as good and pure, incapable of evil, and a hero who must be robustly defended from criticism.
The word “Obot” came about mostly to describe a paid blogger; there were lots of those during the long campaign. Many were only in it for the money, but most truly believed they were fighting the good fight by attacking his opponents and their supporters mercilessly… and sometimes nonsensically. They were given daily email calls to action, with talking points (they all said the same things), and were basically brain-washed kids.
The word kind of evolved from that, coming to include all those zombies who relentlessly visit anti-Obama blogs and spew their opposition to anyone who doesn’t get on the Obamawagon. Some argue intelligently, and they don’t really deserve the epithet, but there are so many who are just trolls, idiots, and really do seem to be programmed, just like real robots!
This question, “what’s an Obot?” kind of reminded me of ten years ago when people just joining chat groups would ask, “What’s LOL?” “What’s IMHO?” And one of my favorites, “What’s STFUYMFPOS?”
It also reminded me of a person I mentioned in my last piece, Jeff Foxworthy. That guy made himself a celebrity with one cute idea: “You might be a redneck if…”
So with his shtick in mind, I got to thinking of some defining characteristics of Obots, hoping to milk some humor from it, derivative or not.
I also thought this will make a great group effort! I’ll start off with some of the obvious ones, and you readers can chime in with whatever strikes your fancy to add to the list. If it’s funny, that’s great, but it needn’t be. Some things about Obots are just not funny, no matter how hard you try.
So here’s my starter list:
YOU MIGHT BE AN OBOT IF…
You feel tingles running up or down your legs when That One is orating. (OK, I’m just getting warmed up, and I had to get that one out of my system.
You’ve never paid any attention to politics until Obama ran for President, and now you’ve become a political expert by reading Huffington Post and/or Daily Kos.
You get called a Cheetoh a lot but you don’t know why.
You believe there are only about 200 PUMAs in the country.
You weep with joy while repeating the mantra “YES WE CAN!”
You think Hillary Clinton tried to “steal” the Democratic nomination.
You fly into a rage when anyone suggests Obama is unqualified for the presidency.
You’ve used the word “racist” more than any other word in the last year.
You’ve developed a keen interest in Hawaiian body surfing.
For the first time in your life, you are proud of your country, but only because it elected a black president.
You believe that with Obama as president, this is a New Age when all wars will end, everyone will be provided for, and you don’t have to worry about paying your mortgage anymore!
You think Obama is a Great Man because of his magnificent accomplishments … like getting elected, and uh, uh, uh…
You think all Hillary Clinton supporters are middle-aged lesbians (not that there’s anything… yada yada yada… )
You get a lump in your throat when you hear the words “President Obama.”
You get a lump in your pants when you see Michelle Obama.
You think Bill Ayers was a non-issue, and was done wrong by the evil media.
You plan to name your children Barack and Baracka.
You believe that saying his middle name is racist.
You think the political platform of “change” is original to Obama.
You believe PUMAs are Republicans pretending to be disaffected Democrats, kind of like Joe Lieberman.
OK, you guys can take it from here. I’ve intentionally left out quite a few, and I know you’re up to the challenge!
But I have to do this one! It’s my all-time classic favorite!
You believe the “Whitey Tape” is a creation of Larry Johnson’s imagination… and that he has it in his possession!