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What’s An Obot?

I recently read a comment from an Obama supporter here at No Quarter, who asked, “What’s an Obot?”

I think he was serious!  Of course, an Obot is an Obama Robot, programmed to see Obama as good and pure, incapable of evil, and a hero who must be robustly defended from criticism. 

The word “Obot” came about mostly to describe a paid blogger; there were lots of those during the long campaign.  Many were only in it for the money, but most truly believed they were fighting the good fight by attacking his opponents and their supporters mercilessly… and sometimes nonsensically.  They were given daily email calls to action, with talking points (they all said the same things), and were basically brain-washed kids. 

The word kind of evolved from that, coming to include all those zombies who relentlessly visit anti-Obama blogs and spew their opposition to anyone who doesn’t get on the Obamawagon.   Some argue intelligently, and they don’t really deserve the epithet, but there are so many who are just trolls, idiots, and really do seem to be programmed, just like real robots!

This question, “what’s an Obot?” kind of reminded me of ten years ago when people just joining chat groups would ask, “What’s LOL?”  “What’s IMHO?”  And one of my favorites, “What’s STFUYMFPOS?”

It also reminded me of a person I mentioned in my last piece, Jeff Foxworthy.  That guy made himself a celebrity with one cute idea:You might be a redneck if…”

So with his shtick in mind, I got to thinking of some defining characteristics of Obots, hoping to milk some humor from it, derivative or not.  

I also thought this will make a great group effort!  I’ll start off with some of the obvious ones, and you readers can chime in with whatever strikes your fancy to add to the list.  If it’s funny, that’s great, but it needn’t be.  Some things about Obots are just not funny, no matter how hard you try.

So here’s my starter list:

 

YOU MIGHT BE AN OBOT IF…

You feel tingles running up or down your legs when That One is orating.  (OK, I’m just getting warmed up, and I had to get that one out of my system.  :)

You’ve never paid any attention to politics until Obama ran for President, and now you’ve become a political expert by reading Huffington Post and/or Daily Kos.

You get called a Cheetoh a lot but you don’t know why.

You believe there are only about 200 PUMAs in the country.

You weep with joy while repeating the mantra “YES WE CAN!”

You think Hillary Clinton tried to “steal” the Democratic nomination.

You fly into a rage when anyone suggests Obama is unqualified for the presidency.

You’ve used the word “racist” more than any other word in the last year.

You’ve developed a keen interest in Hawaiian body surfing.

For the first time in your life, you are proud of your country, but only because it elected a black president.

You believe that with Obama as president, this is a New Age when all wars will end, everyone will be provided for, and you don’t have to worry about paying your mortgage anymore!

You think Obama is a Great Man because of his magnificent accomplishments … like getting elected, and uh, uh, uh…

You think all Hillary Clinton supporters are middle-aged lesbians (not that there’s anything… yada yada yada… )

You get a lump in your throat when you hear the words “President Obama.”

You get a lump in your pants when you see Michelle Obama.

You think Bill Ayers was a non-issue, and was done wrong by the evil media.

You plan to name your children Barack and Baracka.

You believe that saying his middle name is racist.

You think the political platform of “change” is original to Obama.

You believe PUMAs are Republicans pretending to be disaffected Democrats, kind of like Joe Lieberman.

*******************************************************

OK, you guys can take it from here.  I’ve intentionally left out quite a few, and I know you’re up to the challenge! 

But I have to do this one!  It’s my all-time classic favorite!

You believe the “Whitey Tape” is a creation of Larry Johnson’s imagination… and that he has it in his possession!

  • http://www.dgswilson.com Doug Wilson

    User-Agent: Mozilla/5.0 (compatible; oBot/2.3.1; +http://filterdb.iss.net/crawler/)

  • http://www.snap-fusion.com/ Evik James

    Wow! This page is hoppin’.

  • Anonymous

    What IS a PUMA? And how many ARE there?  Are they DANGEROUS, or merely ANNOYING?  

  • pavebart

    You might be an Obot if you thought you voted for the 1st Black President and then found out you really only got half a cracker.

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  • American Woman

    You might be an obot if you didn’t have a problem with the Obama Truth Squad…

  • http://deleted Buzz LaRue

    You might be an obot if you think that the other half of America is going to JUST GET OVER IT.

    Oh baby, it’s far from over…

    Obama is going to supply enough crap to keep this thread going forever!!!!

  • NOBO

    You are an obot if it is proven the BO is not a natural born citizen and the constitution does not matter anyway!

  • /www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibsP6XN2dIo&eurl trixta

    You’re an Obot if you have 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one.

  • Wisewoman

    You might be an Obot if you think when Obama mentioned Lil Wayne in Atlanta the rapper’s following lyrics denigrating Hillary were funny and worth cheering wildly about as did the adoring crowd:

    “When I get on top
    She drop it like it’s hot
    And when I’m on the bottom
    She be Hillary Rodham”

  • xax

    Baracka!

    Nuff said.

  • xax

    Barack!

    Nuff said.

  • lawhite

    You might be an Obot if you believe Obama cares about the middle class.

    You might be an Obot if you have to ask “What is a caucus?”

    You might be an Obot if you believe that Obama got into the presidency on his own merits.

    You might be an Obot if you think Obama didn’t have anything to do with the Chicago political machine.

  • http://www.wewillnotbesilenced2008.com OBAMA IS A FRAUD

    If you believe Joe Biden was sober when he accepted being his VP.

    LMFAO. Good one rw.

  • rw

    If you believe Joe Biden was sober when he accepted being his VP.

    For that matter, if you believe anybody but Oprah and Jesse Jackson Jr. wanted to be his VP.

  • rw

    If you believe Hillary wanted to be his VP.

  • EWard

    If you believe voting “present” represents hope and change.

  • EWard

    …if you believe the rhetoric of David Gergen and Campbell Brown about Cupcake

  • Ferd Berfle

    If you believe ers, ahs, and ums liberally inserted into flights of oratorical hogwash constitute an ability to speak.

  • EWard

    you believe the birth certificate info at factcheck.org

  • Thomas

    you block out the tiny fact the BHO is Dick Cheney’s distant cousin.

  • Thomas

    you think that the White House will run smoother with granny living there.

  • Thomas

    you believe Obama is different from GWB

    • /www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibsP6XN2dIo&eurl trixta

      Zing!

    • Sophie

      This is it! This is the litmus test question!

  • http://www.wewillnotbesilenced2008.com OBAMA IS A FRAUD

    You believe “pay to play” means hiring a prostitute.

  • DanNY

    if you think Obama has a plan that will fix the economy overnight and that only he can do it…

  • DanNY

    you tell a perfect stranger to admit they’re a racist because it will make them feel better – you did and that’s whey you’re voting for Obama.

    You tell a gay man you have known for 10 years that he might as well turn in his gay card if he is going to vote for McCain, even though McCain has a better record on LGBT issues than Obama does.

  • DanNY

    you tell a perfect stranger to admit they’re a racist because it will make them feel better – you did and that’s whey you’re voting for Obama.

    You tell a gay man you have known for 10 years that he might as well turn in his gar card if he is going to vote for McCain, even though McCain has a better record on LGBT issues than Obama does.

  • EWard

    You might be an Obot…

    if you believed that Cindy McCain and Michelle Obama received equal coverage

  • EWard

    If you believe in “change parties” and Acorn is a legitimate GOTV group.

  • Seattle Moss

    You just might be an obot if you have your head stuck where the sun don’t shine.

    • http://americanpumainitaly.blogspot.com/ sarainitaly

      Is that Sunrise, or Sunset, or Sunshine?

  • JJR

    If you believe his words are not “just words.”

    If you think tje “not just words” speech was his words.

    If you don’t know Obama girl didn’t vote for Obama.

    If you don’t know Hillary had to field all the questions in the debates so he could parrot her answers.

    If you don’t see the irony of Obama’s bamboozled and hoodwinked speech.

    If you believe only uneducated people voted for Hillary.

    If you believe the “polls” say.

    If you don’t know that Jesse Jackson Jackson was the only democratic candidate to win the South Carolina primary (twice) but did not go on to win the actual nomination

    If you didn”t care about Naftagate.

    If you think Obama is a uniter.

    If you believe Obama is a Democrat.

  • Steve_in_KC

    You guys are amazing! I’m glad now that I didn’t make my starter list too long! It’s been a joy reading all the zingers this group has come up with!

    I think many of the comments here are hilarious! I salute you!

    Here’s one I expected to see but haven’t so far…

    You might be an Obot if you have a Kool-Aid moustache and Cheetoh fingers!

  • Baba Rum Raisin

    If you think that Obama and Michelle were NOT “Quota Minority” graduates of Harvard Law, you may be an Obot.

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  • Dormaphaea

    …if you think the new Pepsi logo is waaaay cool.

  • rw

    You might be an Obot if you believe that Michelle from Spam-a-lot said, Why’d he, instead of whitey.

  • http://americanpumainitaly.blogspot.com/ sarainitaly

    You might be an obot if:

    you have no idea the DNC spent TWO BILLION DOLLARS to get Obama elected.

  • http://americanpumainitaly.blogspot.com/ sarainitaly

    You might be an obot if:

    you said you would quit your job if the super-delegates picked the Presidential Nominee…but changed your tune really quick, once they picked Obama.

    • /www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibsP6XN2dIo&eurl trixta

      . . . if you still listen to Air America.

  • I’m a Linda too

    …if you actually believe the nearly a billion dollars O received in his campaign came from mostly small donations from every day normal Joes and not the special interests and big businesses that actually gave it looking forward to their payback from a president Obama who were reassured in their weekly policy conference calls because they weren’t average Joes.

  • I’m a Linda too

    lol, great post.

    You know Steve, I remember reading that comment too, but I swear they were an Obot just posting that as if they were unaware considering the other comments that ensued from the same person.

    Kinda’ like Keith Olbermann calling a sexist a bad person, when he himself is and won’t admit it. Probably because he wouldn’t get any more young blonde babes who didn’t know any better than to hook up with him to begin with.

  • arran

    If you have paid $35 for the Ms Inaugural Issue (BO: “This Is What A Feminist Looks Like”) and the commemorative poster of this issue cover.

  • Woodhull

    You’re probably an obot if you recently switched to Pepsi because you mistook opportunistic advertising for “the real thing”.

    • I’m a Linda too

      lol

      Wow, some witty remarks here.

  • lester

    You are an Obot if you think it was Obama, and not the MSM who ran a brilliant campaign

  • Anon

    You might be an obot if you are thinking of taking the first week of November off in honor of National Obama Day.

  • http://N/A breeze

    If you believe CAMELOT II is coming

    More than likely it’s going to be

    SPAM-A-LOT – as in the canned “meat”

    • I’m a Linda too

      We’ve BEEN living Spam a lot! :)

      • oowawa

        And we’ve got a very active and powerful Spam Filter, on guard at all times!

    • rw

      I really like that!

      Jack and Jackie…Camelot
      Obama and Michelle…Spam-a-lot.

      • DanNY

        Obahe and Obashe Spamalot

    • /www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibsP6XN2dIo&eurl trixta

      …if you think Spam isn’t mystery meat.