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The Year 2041 – News and Truth Update

By NewHampster on February 22, 2009 at 1:45 AM in Obama

Up to Date with the Truth
by: Cheeto McTroll

Dateline Afghanistan – The war continues on two fronts today.  American troops under the command of General Emanuel, have reached the outskirts of the Taliban stronghold of Kabul.  You might remember that the 16th army reached this same point back in 2025 only to be repelled by the forces of the Talibanni.  The Eastern front continues to confound the leaders of America’s Satellite Asia Command (ASAC), in geosynchronous orbit above India.  Even though Osama Bin Laden died of old age over 20 years ago, his forces fight on.  Quoting General Axelrod of ASAC, “Catching these mountain bred terrorists is like trapping rats in the sewers of Obama, D.O.”

Federal Move to Obama, D.O. almost complete – The long move is almost over.  Yes, there were unforeseen snags over the preceding 10 years of the move, but we at Daily Kos National News are proud to predict that the last employees will be re-settled by the end of March.  This has been a trying time for our government agencies but I think we can all agree that Washington, D.C. had outlived it’s usefulness and it is time we move to the former Chicago, Obama, Disctrict of Obama.  Little did Chicagoans’ guess that the name change back in 2013 was a premonition of great things to come.

Malia Obama announces candidacy – President Obama’s daughter Malia has announced her desire to succeed her aging father when he retires from his long, and glorious career.  Said Miss Obama, “Daddy is getting on and we all think it’s time for change.  I’m throwing my hat into the ring in the hopes of becoming the first woman President of the United States.”.  President Obama, speaking from the new South Side Brick House, said he certainly endorses his daughter as she is “uniquely qualified to carry on with my lifes’ work.”

More news as it happens, only on your source for truth, DKNN.

Cross posted from Partizane

  • Obamastolemyboyfriend

    Obama won’t let Malia be POTUS. I’m sure somewhere in between he had to have a son that can be his successor.

    That was a nightmare,New Hampster! I think the real night mare we are living right now is way worse though, because we can’t wake up from it!

    • C.S.

      Who is the superhero bravely fighting to save this nation in old Obama, D.C.? Piper Palin? (That kid has more charisma than the whole Obama family!) Virge Bernero? Another rival messiah who has not yet risen to challenge Obama-Daughter’s right to the throne?

      Or, can we stop it by turning this nightmare scenario into a great action/sci-fi film, give it tons of publicity and have it receive an Oscar. Since most of the Obama cult believe in myths and avoid reality it just might work, avoiding all that future bloodshed when the old man becomes just another has been on the stage of American Idol politics.

  • Sassy

    Good satire (I hope) New Hampster!
    Prior to the election of 2004, at a casual dinner, folks were discussing politics.
    While I usually keep my opinions private, once things were getting interesting, I could not resist.
    I asked those in attendance what would happen if Bush and Cheney decided there would be no election. The Supreme Court had installed them in the first place, so I asked them “who you gonna call”?
    One person came up with the lame response that the American people would not stand for that.
    Oh yeah?

  • lark

    I support that prediction, except that we would have only one soldier left in Afghanistan, who is multitasking thousands of robots and Washington DC is the name given to the State of Maryland, who will be the only one to remain loyal to the Federal Government.

  • Linda Anselmi

    Good to see ya -Hampster.

    Enjoyed your Truth Up Date – Cheeto McTroll.

  • TeakwoodKite

    Tough job time travel, New Hampster, but somebody has to do it. Glad it is you.

    How the children of this nation will live is an unanswered question that nags at me.

    Peace. The final frontier.