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“This One’s For The Girls”

By Rabble Rouser Reverend Amy on March 28, 2009 at 4:55 PM in Abuse, Current Affairs, Hillary Clinton, Women and Children

Since we have been talking about our beloved Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, the one with the 70% approval rating, the one who was just honored as a Global Trailblazer and who received over 2 minutes of a standing ovation (MUST READ post by Ani: Hillary Receives Some Well Deserved Accolades), I wanted to share about another strong woman making a difference on an issue important to me: domestic violence. With Clinton’s commitment to women and children, this is an extension of the love-fest by broadening the circle to include another woman doing the work.

Thursday, I happened to catch Martina McBride, whom I love, talking about her work with teens and the issue of domestic violence. She is involved with an organization entitled, loveisrespect, the mission of which is to educate teens on this issue, an issue that affects 1 out of 4 teens (just like the adult population). This is a part of the Love Is Not Abuse site, sponsored by Liz Claiborne.

In terms of Martina McBride specifically, the site has this:

National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline have partnered in a new program called My Time to Shine, which has been announced in conjunction with the release of her new album, Shine.

As the mother of three daughters, four-time CMA Female Vocalist is passionate about the need to increase awareness for teens and parents about teen dating abuse, and about how to develop healthy relationships. Recent research has shown that one in three girls who have been in a serious relationship say they’ve been concerned about being physically hurt by their partner.

My Time to Shine was developed for Martina’s Shine CD and tour around the concept that the teen years should be a young person’s time to shine—the time in their lives when they discover who they are, what their talents are and how to have healthy relationships.

When the contemporary country singer released Independence Day in 1994*, she never dreamed that the song would resonate so powerfully with victims of family violence. It opened her eyes to the issue and changed her life. On concert tours, Martina began visiting high schools to talk to young women about self worth. Since then, she has been involved in fundraising for several programs that benefit women. My Time to Shine expands her work and is an opportunity for her to include her 14-year-old daughter, Delaney in a cause they can both relate to.

Starting with the morning TV shows this week, Martina will promote both the new CD and the awareness program. In addition Martina will
speak out in public service announcements which will be shown at her concert venues when her tour begins in October. My Time to Shine merchandise will be sold at Martina’s concerts to raise funds to benefit the teen helpline.

For more on the Shine album, visit www.martina-mcbride.com.

Heaven knows, we don’t talk enough about domestic violence in general, much less how it affects our young women. And now there is additional technology to assist those who would abuse our young women – texting, Twittering, facebook, Myspace, you name it. So many new ways to keep up with them, try to isolate them, have ammunition to use against them, and to terrorize them. The statistics on teen girls is sobering:

Nearly three in four tweens (72%) say boyfriend/girlfriend relationships usually begin at age 14 or younger. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study on teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2008.)

62% of tweens (age 11-14) who have been in a relationship say they know friends who have been verbally abused (called stupid, worthless, ugly, etc) by a boyfriend/girlfriend. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study on teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2008.)

Only half of all tweens (age 11-14) claim to know the warning signs of a bad/hurtful relationship. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study on teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2008.)

More than three times as many tweens (20%) as parents (6%) admit that parents know little or nothing about the tweens dating relationships. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study on teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2008.)

1 in 3 teenagers report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, choked or physically hurt by their partner. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study on teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2005.)

Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend had threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a break-up. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study on teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2005.)

13% of teenage girls who said they have been in a relationship report being physically hurt or hit. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study on teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2005.)

1 in 4 teenage girls who have been in relationships reveal they have been pressured to perform oral sex or engage in intercourse. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study on teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2005.)

More than 1 in 4 teenage girls in a relationship (26%) report enduring repeated verbal abuse. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study on teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2005.)

80% of teens regard verbal abuse as a “serious issue” for their age group. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study on teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2005.)

If trapped in an abusive relationship, 73% of teens said they would turn to a friend for help; but only 33% who have been in or known about an abusive relationship said they have told anyone about it. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study on teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2005.)

Twenty-four percent of 14 to 17-year-olds know at least one student who has been the victim of dating violence, yet 81% of parents either believe teen dating violence is not an issue or admit they don’t know if it is an issue. (Survey commissioned by the Empower Program, sponsored by Liz Claiborne Inc. and conducted by Knowledge Networks, Social Control, Verbal Abuse, and Violence Among Teenagers, December 2000)

Less than 25% of teens say they have discussed dating violence with their parents. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study of teens 13-17 conducted by Applied Research and Consulting LLC, Spring 2000)

89% of teens between the ages of 13 and 18 say they have been in dating relationships; forty percent of teenage girls age 14 to 17 report knowing someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend. (Children Now/Kaiser Permanente poll, December 1995)

Nearly 80% of girls who have been physically abused in their intimate relationships continue to date their abuser. (City of New York, Teen Relationship Abuse Fact Sheet, March 1998)

Of the women between the ages 15-19 murdered each year, 30% are killed by their husband or boyfriend. (City of New York, Teen Relationship Abuse Fact Sheet, March 1998)

Wowie freakin’ zowie. Sobering, indeed. Violence is so prevalent in our society, and the targets are far, far too often women. Systemic cultural violence needs to be addressed in general, but specifically as it relates to women and our teenage daughters, nieces, and grand-daughters.

Liz Claiborne and Martina McBride are doing just that, thank heavens, but we ALL need to be aware of this issue – educate ourselves and the young women in our lives, and work to end violence against women period. The time is now.

*This is “Independence Day,” referenced above:

So, “This one is for the girls”:

  • http://noquarter foxyladi14

    lets have a big hand for the ladies..they deserve it…

  • Diana

    I love Martina McBride also. My daughter says her song With a Broken Wing was written just for me. Long story I won’t bore anyone with.

    What’s amazing to me is the new poll they did with Rhiana(sp?) How many teenagers believe she deserved to be hit. This is a slippery slope were on, so I’d like to thank you Amy for helping to bring this to the front burner. I’ll go and donate to this group. I never want to see the days of men or women for that matter again of not being arrested for abuse/rape. The mentality of she asked for it, which seems to be once again where we’re headed if we don’t eductate our youth.

  • arran

    Yes, Amy, there can not be enough statistics reported or people, well-know or not, helping young girls understand the danger of these violent relationships. If he calls you names, slaps, or beats you, he doesn’t love you.

    • Julia

      Well if you go to Facebook and use an application “superpoke” ,there you can hug, kiss,etc to your friends and you can do one more thing “bitchslap” With this action you can slap a bitch (man to woman of course) ala Hilda. I’ve complained but it seems this is a no problem for them, nothing wrong here.

  • CG

    Thanks RRRAmy for broaching the subject of abuse and for the links on love is respect and love is not abuse. If you will allow me, especially since Martina sings in ‘this one is for the girls’ around the world, to mention unspeakable abuse… http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29676829/ and separately on the subject of ‘Rape and War: An African Tragedy.’ Unfortunately there is no political will or otherwise to end the abuse heaped on women around the world. But little by little with such organizations perhaps there will be progress…

  • NoBamaNoWay

    Martina McBride’s got some great songs; she really seems to get it. Country music in general is so much more woman-positive and decent moral values-positive than a lot of other types of music out there, especially rap, which seems to be preferred by “progressive” leftists and our “president.”

    unfortunately the whole rap culture has taken over american youth, regardless of race, class, or geography. is it any wonder that clueless teenagers who grew up on crime-loving, decency-hating rap music would think violence against women (and everybody else) is okay?

    • Julia

      Agree 100%

  • Tricia Spiegel

    Great post! (And, GO Hillary!)

  • imustprotest

    Thank you for posting this RRR Amy. This is such an important issue and needs all the exposure it can get. Kudos to Martina McBride and Liz Claiborne

  • Sassy

    Good work Amy!
    I wish grown-ups would realize that 11 to 14 years of age is way too young to be involved in relationships, other than friendship.
    Even though I watch very little TV, I have seen girls, along side their mother, discussing an abusive boy-friend.
    Something is very wrong when youngsters are willing to endure abuse in order to date.
    I’m so glad that these women are leading the discussion, and I hope they are very successful!

  • http://thenewagenda.net/ Woman Voter

    Love DOESN’T Hurt (STOP domestic violence)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhWgnpezqxA
    ….
    “This One’s For The Girls”
    By Rabble Rouser Reverend Amy

    Thanks for remembering the little girls that need so much encouragement amongst the constant media barrage that seems to be accepting of domestic violence. You ROK Reverend Amy!

  • KintheNorthwest

    This is one of my favorite songs by McBride. THe lyrics are so very true.
    Im one of those people that listen to lyrics.

    CK this out by Tex Ritter

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkP8qB6Xd_0

  • http://www.rabblerouserruminations.blogspot.com/ Rabble Rouser Reverend Amy

    Great comments, everyone – sorry I’m a bit late to the party, though – these puppies are getting to the point where they require more attention…

    YES – the Broken Wing song is another great song by McBride. She has really stepped up to the plate on this issue, thank heavens. There simply cannot be enough strong women speaking out on this issue.

    It IS horrible that so many young people think Rihanna was just as culpable for being hit. It is a sad, and disturbing, commentary on our society.

    THANK YOU for bringing up the issue of rape as instrument of war in Africa. It is a TRAGIC story, how these women and girls are treated. Yet, so many of them have an intestinal fortitude that is astonishing – working to end the torture they endure, while forgiving those who have so wronged them so horribly…

    Great comments, friends. Thank you.

  • Diana

    I found the article I was refering to above:

    Even after they saw a photo of Rihanna’s bloodied, bruised face, which had raced across the Internet, they still defended Mr. Brown. “She probably made him mad for him to react like that,” the other ninth grader said. “You know, like, bring it on?”

    The girls agreed that Mr. Brown overreacted. According to court documents, the fight last month erupted after Rihanna read a text message to Mr. Brown from another woman. Mr. Brown, the affidavit said, then punched, bit and choked her.

    Should he be punished? No, said the girls, whose names were withheld at the request of the school. After all, they said, Rihanna seemed to have reconciled with Mr. Brown.

    “So he shouldn’t get into trouble if she doesn’t feel that way,” one girl said. “She probably feels bad that it was her fault, so she took him back.”

    Her friend nodded. “I don’t think he’ll hit her like that again,” she said.

    On blogs and social networking sites, teenagers are having an e-shouting match about this highly publicized episode — perhaps the first time their generation has been compelled to think aloud about dating violence.

    And what may be surprising is the level of support for Mr. Brown. While thousands of teenagers have certainly turned on Mr. Brown, many others — regardless of race or gender — defend him, often at Rihanna’s expense.

    In a recent survey of 200 teenagers by the Boston Public Health Commission, 46 percent said Rihanna was responsible for what happened; 52 percent said both bore responsibility, despite knowing that Rihanna’s injuries required hospital treatment. On a Facebook discussion, one girl wrote, “she probly ran into a door and was too embarrassed so blamed it on chris.”

    For complete article:
    http://tinyurl.com/d7rswf

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  • Rebel

    I don’t believe it this prejudice “women and children” propaganda…So, again, government doesn’t care about MEN…
    Well, I don’t care about your crappy double-standards….It is boys who drop out of school more often, and could use help more often..So
    This One’s for the Boys!!!!!

    • http://www.rabblerouserruminations.blogspot.com/ Rabble Rouser Reverend Amy

      By all means, don’t accept any of the cold hard facts about the treatment of women and girls in this society. This past election showed the vast level of vitriol toward women – misogyny is alive and well in our culture.

      Don’t know how you think it’s a “double standard” to not want women and girls to be ABUSED, or why we can’t care abt all of our children doing well in school. Telling comment, all in all…

  • Rebel

    “the cold hard facts about the treatment of women and girls in this society.” The treatment of low-income Men, homeless Men, and even minority Men has been worse still. Those are the cold hard facts. Society and media has cared more about women than men. The male can die in war, drop out of school, and not have a single government program to evaluate them. All the gender-based government programs go to women. And you still say the government has treated WOMEN unfairly? On the Abuse front,
    WOMEN are the MAJORITY OF child abusers and child killers… Tell me what you think of that….Susan Smith, ANdrea Yates, etc. At least, the Abusive Fathers that I have known have gotten punished for it. Society and the injustice system BEGS not to punish the mother who does that. The big-time Feminist groups sided with the mother that killed her daughter, and the sons…, NOT with the dead daughter. That says something..Being berated, and dominated by your mother, grade school teachers, and your power-hungry boss is a real honest recipe for a whole lot of misogyny….
    And if Not being able to vote 100 years ago, and being “told I’m not capable” for military service means I’m going to outlive the person next to me,by at least 10 years, please sign me up for that privilege…
    Don’t drink the Kool-aid…
    Don’t believe the propaganda
    All modern presidents are bad, NOt only Obama.

  • Abeline

    My points exactly. Don’t bother to follow the crowd on this one! Re-bel!! REVOLUTION!!! GRRR!!!!!!!!!!! ROAR!!!

  • Rebel

    I see the “rabble rouser” has not even responded to my last post… Are my points so hard to answer?

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