Dick Morris is Really A Woman, Right?

I ask if Dick Morris is really a woman, because he seems to not only “know” exactly how women “think,” but he also knows exactly what they are thinking at all times! I have watched him emphatically ‘analyze’ what Hillary supporters are thinking on FOX, ad nauseum. He is so sure of himself, he surely must be a woman!

Now I know that some say Dick Morris knows women’s toes, and I know that he has been suspected of paying for women in lieu of being able to have one for free, but his assessment of what women are thinking with respect to Barack Obama is Toe-tally off.

Dick Morris Inaccurate Assessment Number One: Women are only making a fuss because they want Hillary to be Barky’s VP.

The thing is, Dick, that’s the last thing most of us want. Some of us have spent enough time in Corporate America to recognize the habit of hiring a superior woman to hold up a mediocre man, while he prances around and preens and takes the credit. This describes Barack Obama’s character completely.

Most women would not only regard the “bridesmaid” idea as degrading, but most of us don’t want Hillary to be caught standing next to Barack Obama when he goes down in flames in November. We know that she could help him win and we do not want him to be President. Therefore, the thought of Hillary as the VP candidate is not attractive to us. We intend to provide as much help to defeat him as possible, although we probably won’t have nearly as much impact as all those “bitter hicks”. And finally, most of us wouldn’t vote for Barack Obama if he picked our own Mother as his VP.

It’s not about Hillary at this point. It’s about Barack Obama. We don’t trust him with our country and we don’t trust him with our lives. And mostly, we don’t trust him with our rights as women. So get that idea out of your head, Dick, mkay? We wouldn’t want you to appear as out of touch as Howard “The Confident” is.

Dick Morris Inaccurate Assessment Number Two: Women will vote for Barack Obama “because of the Supreme Court”. Those were his words yesterday, no kidding. I didn’t make that up.

I am going to assume here that Dick means the ominous Roe v. Wade scare. Well, Dick, I’m here to tell you that this has been a tool the Democrats have used to keep us in line for far too long. With this tool, Tools like Howard Dean have gotten women to make their phone calls, do their precinct work, carry their water and otherwise do the grunt work for “The Party”. I’m also here to tell you that this argument means nothing to us any longer.

For starters, if the Democratic party cared about a woman’s right to choose, big shots like Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid would have done something about it legislatively long ago. But that wouldn’t have been any fun, would it? I mean, how would they keep all those women in the voting line pulling that “D” lever if that were to happen?

We’re onto the Democratic Party patriarchs and we aren’t buying the threat any longer. Roe v. Wade is going nowhere, and we all know it. If it could have gone anywhere, the other side of the Barack Obama Extremist Whackjob Coin, namely George W. Bush, would have made it happen long ago. And even if Roe v. Wade were in danger of being “overturned,” the only result would be that the Federal government would be out of the picture and states would take over. Then you would all have to find something else to threaten us women with in order to get us to vote for a sexist pig like Sweetie Obama.

Ok, I’ll be the devil’s advocate here. Let’s assume that this lame threat that the Democratic Party has used on us for decades were to come to fruition by some absolute freak of luck. I have an opinion about that too–and it in no way resembles Dick Morris’ opinion.

In my opinion, any woman who falls for the misogynist pig named Barack Obama is already in danger of losing her rights as a complete person. Roe v Wade is the least of her worries after that happens, because once Sweetie Obama starts setting the Example for the workplace, it will be downhill all the way. The President of the United States has always set the tone in the workplace. As his attitude goes, so goes the attitude of all those corporations. Considering that Barack Obama has already set gender relations back 30 years, good luck with the thought that things will be just fine for women when he is President.

In my opinion, if my younger sisters lose Roe v Wade it will be their own fault for taking the rights they have for granted, because they didn’t fight for them. They think these rights will always be there and nothing could be further from the truth. If this year’s Democratic Primary showed us one thing, it’s that these rights are precarious. In fact they would be completely gone in the wrong hands. And the wrong hands belong to Barack Obama, the man who secretly chuckled with glee as women were bashed by-proxy by his surrogates, his followers, the press and him.

I see many very young women who are dangerously complacent enough to take the time to swoon over a sexy empty suit who has already set gender relations back a minimum of 30 years. And we haven’t even gotten to the General Election campaign yet. If these women lose Roe v Wade because they all want to be the Obama Girl, then it serves them right. Not my problem. I know how not to get pregnant.

It’s my job to protect the rights I fought for that matter to me. I do not take these rights lightly. This is a misogynist’s campaign and if squealing young women are too busy spawning over Leland Gaunt handing out Needful Things and discussing his vibrating cell phone when he leans on one of them, then they will have to learn to take the consequences of their own folly along with the consolations. Maybe then they will Get It. I have already done well enough in my life. Complacency is their enemy, not mine. If they don’t appreciate what the previous generation of women went through so that they could act like they want to spawn for Barack Obama, then they don’t deserve our help any longer. Let em eat vibrating cell phones.

I sincerely hope this clears things up for Dick Morris.