Obama and the Parables of Pooh

If you ever wondered what an overdose on Cult-Aide looked like just take a peek at today’s UK Telegraph. In an article titled (and no, I am not kidding) Barack Obama aide: Why Winnie the Pooh should shape US foreign policy, Richard Danzig, who rumor has it is being considered as an Obama National Security Advisor, would have us believe that our country will be protected if we only listen to the parables of Pooh.

Mr Danzig told the Centre for New American Security: “Winnie the Pooh seems to me to be a fundamental text on national security.”

Look, I am all for thinking outside the box. But this guy is thinking outside the universe of reason. What should we expect next? That Patti Solis Doyle will pick Dr. Seuss as Obama’s running mate. Strangely, that somehow seems entirely appropriate.

But it isn’t just Pooh that we should emulate. Danzig believes that Luke Skywalker has a place in an Obama Administration as well.

In a briefing which will inform Mr Obama’s understanding of terrorists, Mr Danzig said he learnt much from recent interviews with jailed Aum Shinrikyo terrorists who released sarin nerve gas on the Tokyo underground in 1995.

He said that even people who are relatively well off and successful can feel like failures and become alientated from their societies. He said one terrorist told him: “We have been raised on a theory of superheroes. We all want to be like Luke Skywalker.

So this guy Danzig that is apparently on Obama’s very short list to become his National Security Advisor learns things from Cult leaders. No wonder Obama wants him on his team. Danzig will be fawning all over him, in awe of the Master.

If you aren’t sure by now that this dude needs some emergency mental health care just look at these words of wisdom from a close advisor to Obama.

“When we’re doing mundane things, we lose track of our ambition but when someone comes along, like Asahara, the head of the cult, and presents himself as a messiah and gives us a picture of progress that is ordained by heaven and that we are carrying out a saintly mission on earth that is for us extraordinarily evocative.”

Mr Danzig added: “The parallels with al Qaeda are obvious.”

Uh, Earth to Danzig. You seem to be describing your boss fairly well. Not exactly a great selling point if you ask me. Next time, try laying off the Cult-Aide for a few hours before you brief the rest of us on how Obama will make us safer by following the advice of imaginary characters.

And if we weren’t convinced enough that Danzig was WAY out there he offers one more tidbit of wisdom. And folks, you just can’t make this stuff up.

He said that another lesson about terrorists can be learnt from studying violent football fans. “One of the best books I’ve read on terrorism in recent years was not about terrorism at all,” he said. “It’s Bill Buford’s book Among the Thugs, which is a description of soccer violence in Britain.

“Buford became absorbed by soccer violence. He describes the most appalling examples of soccer violence by fans against fans. But he describes with relentless honesty how he finds sickening things attractive. He says violence lets the adrenaline flow; it’s like sex, you live in the moment.”

So terrorism is like violence is like sex. So what exactly is he suggesting? That we should all take a primer course in S & M? Or is he suggesting that the solution to our national security problems is that we aren’t kinky enough? Perhaps we should ask Pooh.