Our Noquarterusa.net Contest: The Sweet Sixteen
By Kirk Tofte on July 18, 2008 at 3:00 AM in Barack Obama
For those of you who don’t know, we have been conducting a contest to pick the best title for a hypothetical book about the Hillary-Obama wars. Unfortunately, the initial voting in our poll has been about as robust as participation in the Iowa caucuses—not very.
Original contest rules called for participants to narrow the field of nominees to an “Elite Eight.” But since I am the Howard Dean of this enterprise, I have arbitrarily decided to change the rules in midstream.
Readers will now be asked to pick their top two titles from a “Sweet Sixteen” list. It will be from these votes that our final winner will be selected.
Please note that my “Sweet Sixteen” list contains twenty-three titles. This is the result of the contest’s Donna Brazile rule, “Do as I say, not as I do.”
Finally, those who live in Florida will have one-half of their votes counted. For those who live in Michigan, you will get to vote for five titles rather than two. However, four of your choices—at my discretion—will not be counted.
And the nominees ARE:
The Legend of Deeply Hollow
No Country for Older Women
The Hijackers Guide to the White House
Mutiny on the DNC
Belittle Women
Invasion of the Caucus Snatchers
I, Obama
The Lyin’ King
For Whom the Bots Toll
Origin of the Specious
Raging Bullshit
A Botwork Orange
Dude Be Not Proud
A Roll Call of Her Own
Axelrod’s Fables
The Electorate Acid Kool-aid Test
How Green is My Candidate
Jesse Jackson and the Chocolate Nut Factory
Kill Bill Vol. 3
Hillary’s Complaint
Invasion of the Delegate Snatchers
The Obamabots Guide to the Galaxy
The Silence of the Superdelegates
(Release: November 13)
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Guess I’m the only one still up! I vote for:
1. The Hijackers Guide to the White House
and
2. The Lyin’King
Like a Super Delegate though, I might change my vote tomorrow.
Kirk…thank you!! that’s the best laugh I’ve had in a long while..and a great start to the day!
I’m from missouri..so my vote counts in full.
the legend of deeply hollow or
the Hijackers Guide to the White House
although my third choice is belittle women..
great selection thank you again!
#1 – The Hijackers Guide to the White House
#2 – The Silence of the Superdelegates
Invasion of the Caucus Snatchers
I, Obama
The Lyin’ King
That’s my
twothree choicesPlease don’t give Obama a credite by having his name on the title.
here are my picks:
1. A Roll Call of Her Own
2. Belittle Women
3. Invasion of the Delegate Snatchers
1. Legend of Deeply Hollow
2. The Hijackers Guide to the White House
what about
Obamboozled?
1. The Highjacker’s Guide to the White House.
2. No Country for Older Women.
3. (honorable mention) Raging Bullshit!
Belittle women is one I would pick.
Lyin King is another.
All though Raging Bullshit Does describe the DNC
I have a title suggestion: Dead Man Voting
Here are my top favs:
Mutiny on the DNC
Belittle Women
For Whom the Bots Toll
Raging Bullshit
A Roll Call of Her Own
But to best explain the overall primary until now, the continued obamamination, I would say….
The Hijackers Guide to the White House
So many things happened, not just attacks on Hillary, but caucas fraud, AA communities weighted heavier for delegates, dead people voting, media bias, racism accusations, Obamabot attacks on Hill supporters, superdelegate and delegate intimidation, etc.
So, I would have to say Hijackers Guide to the White House.
(the other titles can be chapter names within the book – they cover many of the relevant instances of how to hijack.)
all thse names r teh suck!
a woman past her primary
idiot trolls don’t know how to play the game — typical idiot troll.
this caucus 2 hard 4 women
99 problems
And the
bitchtroll ain’t one. (Strikethrough, original lyric. Italicized word added.)Yeah, that’s the lovely little song that Obama had playing at his victory speech when he won the Iowa caucuses. So much for the dignity of the office of president and respect for women.
how cougars became pumas
cheated again
A Chicago chicken wanted to rule America.
This one made me laugh:
Jesse Jackson and the Chocolate Nut Factory
Next:
Raging Bullshit
The Legend of Deeply Hollow
No Country for Older Women
Caucus states should be allowed to vote for a bunch more!! Our votes go further than Primary votes.
cool refreshing spite!
beef- its whats for dinner!
WHY CAUCUS BAD FOR WOMEN!
I like this one:
Mutiny on the DNC
Scorn at your Peril
WHY CAUCUS BAD FOR PRIME AIRY WOMEN
I like
The Hijackers Guide to the White House
and
Belittle Women
How about, “Riding the race card to the presidency”
I wannna add!!!!!!!!!
The Audacity of Tenacity
and
The American Queen vs the Drama Queen LOL
What about “The Iliad and the Audacity?”
“Lady and the Tramp?”
“Chicago Dope?”
“The Man Who Would Be King?”
“The Clothes Have No Emperor?”
Love “Lady and the Tramp” lol!
Dirty Barry?
The Boyz From Brazile?
You’re So Vainglorious?
I especially like your The Clothes Have No Emperor.
You people (trolls and all) are the most fun and funniest of any commenters on the web.
ok, my VOTES are:
Hitchhiker’s guide to teh white house and Belittle Women, but my
PREFERENCES are:
The Audacity of Tenacity
and
When Delegates come home to roost
oh, how about the “Arugala Diaries”
or “Dude, where’s my candidate?”
or, The best little whorehouse in Denver
or, Lord of the rings, the quest for superdelegates
or, Bill and Barrys..and Hillary’s excellent adventure
or “ooops, florida did it again.
or “Hillary and Barry’s Denver Convention”
or “Hillary and Barack go to the WhiteHouse”
or we could use one that already exists and go with George Orwell’s 1984, or the Manchurian Candidate.
I think we should re-open it to more nominations then hold a new primary!!!!!
I have to tell you, I like ” The Audacity of Tenacity”, That title gets Barky and Hillary. Also The American Queen vs the Drama Queen rings a bell or so says Larry Sinclair.
Kirk Tofte, we demand that you open the Sweet Sixteen list to include more suggestions and as the contest’s Donna Brazile rule clearly states you can re-open the list to include more than 23 titles in the sweet sixteen list. One last word, please
Hillary 08!!!!
AEI, Obama & U
& sometimes
Y and“W”All of them are great, but I’m trying just for the right title. “Belittle Women” is clever, but not the right title since it might be seen as a declarative statement, etc.
Sooooo, title wise…
The Legend of Deeply Hollow
Mutiny on the DNC
Invasion of the Caucus Snatchers
Origin of the Specious
Raging Bullshit
Dude Be Not Proud
The Electorate Kool-Aid Acid Test
They are all great names. Perhaps you could use some of the runners up as chapter titles. I think overall, The Hitchiker’s Guide to the White House captures all the sins of the primary.
If it was “For Whom the Bots TROLL” I might vote for that. But since not…
Invasion of the Caucus Snatchers
and
The Lyin’ King
in no particular order…
The Hijackers Guide to the White House seems to say it all.
I agree, some of the other titles would be good chapter headings. I would include The Clothes Have No Emperor, added by the post above.
I really like myiq’s “The Clothes Have No Emperor”
but if I must stick to the list:
1. The Lyin King
2.The Legend of Deeply Hollow
3.Kill Bill Vol. 3
4.Invasion of the Delegate Snatchers
I vote: (1) “No Country for Older Women” and
(2) “The Lyin’ King”
Thhis is great:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7I3mwrC9M4
They’re all great.
But I was hoping for “Road to the Whitey House.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aP3q8dHA4Hk
Such great titles and suggestionions.
I cast both my votes, for “The Legend of Deeply Hollow.”
He’s so hollow that he thinks he’s profound.
Perhaps some can do a video to the the Carly Simon song of “You’re so Vain.”
“The Hijackers Guide to the White House” is my 1st, 2nd, AND 3rd choice.
1.The Hijackers Guide to the White House
2.The Silence of the Superdelegates
1. The Hijackers Guide to the White House
2. Mutiny on the DNC
Inherit the Wimp
The Obamaful Obsession
Please Don’t Eat the Arugula
Primary Colonics
Gone With The Winker
My Vote is: Raging Bullshit
Inherit the Wimp is Hilarious.
Hijackers guide to the White House.
It says it all.
I agree with everyone that thinks The Hijackers Guide to the White House would be a good title with the rest as chapter names.
1. The Silence of the Superdelegates
2. Belittle Women
Oo! Chapter titles….true!
Hijackers definitely.
The Legend of Deeply Hollow as runner up.
1. THE LYIN’ KING, 2ND AND 3RD CHOICE, AMERICA MIGHT GET HER OWN QUEEN
1.The Hijackers Guide to the White House
2.The Silence of the Superdelegates
I also like sarainitaly’s Dead Man Voting. Would be nice a chapter name for the NC primary
Gone With The Wimp
PUMA: Fighting for The Last Democrat
The Ultimate Card: Race Card
The Destruction of The Democratic Party
How to Bamboozle people in 10 ways
I LOVE Gone With the Wimp! Woo hoo!
Beauty & The Beasties…{ and if I don`t win, I`m going to Europe )
Another chapter:
Phallus in Wonderland
Happy Friday, all!
The title “I OBAMA” so depicts the annointed one’s arrogance. His nose is ALWAYS in the air & I’ve seen many pictures of him while looking at Hillary with an expression of uttr contempt on his face!
Hail Ceasar, no make that Heil Hitler!
ding ding ding! We have a winner!
Barack Obama = Adolf Hitler
Hey imustprotest, where’d ya go? There’s no hate on this blog!
1.Mutiny on the DNC
2Belittle Women
Hijackers Guide to the White House
Hijackers Guide to the Whitehouse and Belittle Women.
The Media Assassination of Hillary Rodham Clinton
How To Lose Votes and Alienate People as a write-in.
or “How to Win votes from Alien People”
Comment by Olivia | 2008-07-18 06:58:26
those are all good as well!
1) The Legend of Deeply Hollow
2) The Legend of Deeply Hollow
In the tradition of caucus snatchers, will my vote count twice?
It depends – are you a dead Chicagoan?
Hijackers Guide to the White House
The Electorate Acid Kool-aid Test
I feel that the Hijackers title covers the entire trip and agree with others that many of the other selections would make for good Chapter Titles.
Rule Change is a great title. (not listed here)
The only problem with Hijacker’s Guide to the White House is that we’d have to change the admonition on the from cover to “Panic!” in not-so-warm letters…
My vote:
1. The Legend of Deeply Hollow
2. The Hijacker’s Guide To The White House.
(1) The Highjackers Guide To The WhiteHouse
(2) keep “Hope” Afloat and remember McCain when You Vote
1. Invasion of the Caucus Snatchers
2. The Hijackers Guide to the White House
My favorite would be the the correctly titled “The Electorate Kool-Aid Acid Test”
No Country for Older Women would be my second fav…
But to be perfectly honest, I find all the titles lacking, because none of them reflect the role played by the media in the primary campaign.
I like this one!
I love these title games..I did a couple of my own.
Desperately Seeking Democracy
Single White Racist
MEchelle With A $600 Earring
Bitter Old Women
Race Card (from Green Card)
Obamabots On The Mist
Lock, Stock and Two Obamabots
Barry Horror Picture Show
Run Hillary Run (Run Lola Run)
Scent of a BO
Sex, Lies and Larry Sinclair
The Bitter, The Clingy and The Racists
The DNC That Rocked Barry’s Cradle
Ok, sorry for all these! I played this a lot on Gos forums and it’s addictive.
Desperately Seeking Democracy should definitely be a write-in, perfect title!
Oo! Good ones…
Yours, even better: BARACKY Horror Picture Show!
Oh, I think that is my new favorite
I vote for Belittle Women.
Really excellent post. Most amusing.
1. The Hijacker’s Guide To The White House
2. Raging Bullshit
Write ins:
3. Dead Man Voting
4. The Audacity of Tenacity
Happy rule change everyone!
Primary Elections For Dummies.
I like a one word title in big letters and a subtitle:
BAMBOOZLED
Obama’s Okey Dokey Guide to the White House
Obama’s Okey Dokey Guide to the White House
LMAO I vote for this one, even tho it isn’t on the list.
The Legend of Deeply Hollow
The Hijacker’s Guide To The White House
Raging Bullshit
For Whom the Bots Toll
fifty seven states and counting
Without Question, it’s a tie:
_The Hijackers Guide to the White House
_Invasion of the Caucus Snatchers
My preferences are:
1. The Hijackers Guide to the White House
2. Mutiny on the DNC
3. The Silence of the Superdelegates
My choices are:
Invasion of the Caucus Snatchers (that encapsulates
the Dem primary to a tee!)
Then, The Legend of Deeply Hollow (brought a smile)
And if I may add my own zinger:
The Heistman Cometh
invasion of the caucus snatchers, yes! LOL
those are all good too!!
I’m from Michigan and am offering 2 choices.
#1 The Highjacker’s Guide to the White House
[the position of the apostrophe indicates only 1 highjacker]
#2 No Country For Older Women
The Hijackers Guide to the White House
My votes:
1) The Hijackers Guide to the White House
2) Invasion of the Caucus Snatchers
As a rural Nebraskan I get ¾ of a vote but, since I do cling to my guns, I’m not easily intimidated by the caucus-snatching-bots.
I vote for
The Legend of Deeply Hollow
and
The Hijackers Guide to the White House
(But being from Massachusetts, I fear that my Senators will demand you select a title of their choosing, one not vetted)
Missed out on the first contest. Love the new rules for this version! I’m from NYC and I believe our “junior” Senator is far and away the best of the rest.
There’s only one choice for me:
The Silence of the Superdelegates
1. The Lyin’ King
2. A Botwork Orange
FL voter here. But I’d like to challenge the rules because full voting rights are essential to any free, fair, and just democracy.
Guess, I’m in a (I’m sick of Obama already, and we still have 4 months of this nonsense to go) mood today, but my choices aren’t here. Just a thought!
1-The Legend of Nut less Hollow
2-No Country for Nut less Women
3-The Nut less Guide to the White House
………and of course a sure Nobel winner!
The Silence of the Nut less
These volumes were edited By Jesse (The Machete Jackson) true friend and follower of Fellow brother.
The Hijackers Guide to the White House
and i second
Bamboozled
(Comment by lowdowndog | 2008-07-18 07:57:10
I like a one word title in big letters and a subtitle:
BAMBOOZLED
Obama’s Okey Dokey Guide to the White House)
BAMBOOZLED
Obama’s Okey Dokey Guide to the White House
Obama’s own words show how he played us for suckers. He hijacked the White House, laughed at us while playing the race card and the MSM protected him, trumpeting the slightest hint of racism. Obama is the master of abusive put down.
I’ve been out of town stuck with a broke down car for a week with no internet. Guess where my entire stimulus check went? $900 for a new clutch.
1. No Country for Older Women
2. Belittle Women
How ’bout: 1. For Whom the Bots TROLL
2. Nutcracker Sweetie
3. The Headless(as in brainless) Ho’man
of Deeply Hollow
BAMBOOZLED
Obama’s Okey Dokey Guide to the White House
Obama’s own words show how he played us for suckers. He hijacked the White House, laughed at us while playing the race card and the MSM protected him, trumpeting the slightest hint of non-existent racism. Obama is the master of above-it-all coolness and abusive put down. Okey Dokey is code for white racism.
The ledgend of Deeply Hollow
The Lyin’ King
or
Who Robbed the White House..Who, Who, Who?
The White House for Dummies
Foreign Policy for Dummies
The Iraq War for Dummies
*The Hijackers Guide to the White House*
Cool.
(1) The Legend of Deeply Hollow
(2)The Silence of the Superdelegates
Raging Bullshit
A Botwork Orange
Can we caucus on this? I would like to intimidate some of these folks into changing their votes.
No Country for Older Women
Origin of the Specious
1. The Audacity of Tenacity
2. Desperately Seeking Democracy
and how about:
Bamboozled
or
Hoodwinked
or
The DNC: Bamboozled Again!
Here’s one for Nancy and Donna:
Mean Girls
but i like:
No Country for Older Women
Kill Bill, vol. 3
Raging Bullshit
I like the Mean Girls title.
Donna and Nancy are evil
Wow – hard decision, but I’m going with:
1. Belittle Women
2. For Whom the Bots TROLL (good change!)
3. THe Lyin’ King
Invasion of the Caucus Snatchers
The Lyin’ King
No Country for Older Women
How Green is my Candidate
I must say, they are all brilliant. How about 16 books?
Hijackers Guide and Lyin’ King.
Terrific! I loved your explanation of the roolz!
1. the legend of deeply hollow
2. raging bullshit
3. a botwork orange (satan)
More:
Flingtime for Hipster and Germany
Malice in Wunderkind
Hilarious! All are great.
My votes are:
1) Hijackers Guide To The White House
2) Belittle Women
The Lyin’ King
and
The Silence of the Superdelegates
My pick, Raging Bullshit and Belittle Women…no doubt.
Hmm, time for a new voting strategy other than simple plurality, maybe. My picks are
Legend of Deeply Hollow
The Hijackers Guide to the White House
good but iffy
Raging Bullshit (would a publisher allow it)
new
A River of Money Runs Through It
For Whom the Bots Toll (or Troll) is a good one. I like the Electorate Kool-Aid Acid Test, as I picture the MSM as the Merry Pranksters and Bots drugged up on BO. I also like the idea of using the others as chapter titles.
Obama is the VANILLA ICE of politics and soon will have the same fate. Word to your mother.
1. Mutiny on the DNC
2. Belittle Women
3. The Legend of Deeply Hollow
I Like
—Hijackers Guide to the WhiteHouse
—BeLittle Women
The Electorate Acid Kool-aid Test. Definitely the Electorate Acid Kool-aid Test
that’s a good one too-lots of good ones!! Decisions, decisions…
Comment by Marigat | 2008-07-18 08:59:56
Desperately seeking Democracy, that’s a good one!
How about “The Fix”
“Power Elites”
This has been a struggle between DNC, MSM, party elites.
“The Fix is In”
“No More Bill”
It may be all no third term for Bill — even tho I don’t think Hillary would have allowed a third term to happen, but that was the fear among voters, MSM, etc.
Kill Bill vol 3 is absolutely perfect!
One may think he was a secondary character in all this – but as far as the reasons of ABC from both party machines – it was Bill’s record (of beating Republicans)
My favorites are:
The Hijackers Guide to the White House
The Obamabots Guide to the Galaxy
The Not Silence of the Superdelegates should be what did the supers get from the CHOSEN ONE for their votes.
No one seemed to like one of mine (changing Sigmund Freud’s Interpretations of Dreams…
Interpretations of Dreams From My Father.
These are all just too good. It’s hard to quit coming up with them too! Now when I see a title, I want to change it so i can be snarky to barky.
Hijackers Guide to the White House
Those are all funny as hell!
My suggestions (not on the list, so these are “write-in candidates):
1. Dude, Where’s My Party?
2. Coup de (Democratic) ‘Parte
3. How to Blow a Sure-Fire Election
4. Counting Some of the Votes
5. Dude, Who Stole My Vote?
6. The New Great Democratic Divide
And for the sub-Title:
…(How the DNC Rigged the 2008 Nomination)
your #1 is also a FAV of mine!
Haha! #1 is great!
How about…
The Persecution and Character Assassination of Hillary Rodham Clinton, as Performed by the Scumbags of the Mainstream Media, Under the Direction of Senate BH Obama?
Since “The Rulz” will be arbitrarily changed according to “The Hypocritical Oath”,
and since I’m so confused because I don’t really know if I’m a “Progressive” anymore…just go ahead and decide for me will ya?
but…
If you need/want to ignore my voice, please do so by not choosing one of the below (not necessarily in order of preference because really…who counts these things anymore??).
Kill Bill Vol. 3
Invasion Of The Delegate/Caucus Snatchers (insert loser of the popular vote here!)
For Whom The Bots Toll
From the list:
The Legend of Deeply Hollow
No Country for Older Women
Write-in:
Hope Sinks
Scratch write-in. Can’t really decide between
No Country for Older Women and The Hijackers Guide to the White House (after The Legend of Deeply Hollow).
I like Hijackers Guide to the White House as well.
I think there may be a book about Sen. Obama already, Machiavelli’s The Prince.
My Case Against Obama
The Sequel concerncing the Press:
Newsroom: And the Lack Thereof
Newsroom: Bowling for Combine
Tanchorman
A Money Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
Absense of Coverage
G. I. Feign
Preacher’s Pet
The Bridge Over the River Chappaquidic
(Today is Ms. Koepechne’s anniversary of being left behind)
They Shoot Harriet Christians, Don’t They?
A Sterile Coupcoup
One Flew Under The Bus
The LVII Commandments
And so on…
Screams of My Mother
I like “Belittle Hillary” and actually “Kill Bill Vol. 3.”
However, I’m an Ohioan, which means that even if I can get a majority of you to agree with me, my chosen titles will not win.
And guys, guys, guys. So many of you have come up with clever alternative titles, but remember that only Michiganders can vote for titles not on the ballot.
Yes!
You SwingStaters will be completely ignored! You will not be allowed to vote for the finalists!
Only CaucusStaters will be allowed to participate in the final vote, intimidation is encouraged but not mandatory…
If you are from a Swing State, AND you are a member of the “Under The Bus Coalition” you are S.O.L.
The rest of you can vote, but only if you’ve reversed your position(s) on FISA.
The Hijackers Guide to the White House
subtitle: How the candidate with the most votes doesn’t get to be the Presidential Nominee.
Chapter one: The Cauci
Chapter Two: How Obama Projects onto Hillary what he is guilty of.
Chapter Three: Obamas distraction from the issues at all cost.
Chapter four: Obamas Pavlovian Law.
Chapter Five: The vote count illusion.
Chapter Six: How they threw Hillary votes in the trash.
Chapter Seven: Roll Call-finding a list of registered voters who didn’t cast a vote and putting
them towards Obamas vote count.
Chapter Eight: How Donna Brazille gamed the delegate system in 2007 for the upcoming 2008 primary.
Chapter Nine: Removing Fl & Mi IN 2007 because Hillary will win them-the guise of false reasons.
Chapter 10: How Obama ignores the Fl & MI
revote/paid in full by Hillary campaign.
Chapter 11: They came out in droves to vote for…HILLARY
Chapter 12: How Hillary brought excitement to the race.
Chapter 13: Hillaryisms.
Final Chapter: How Hillary lost her voice.
Prologue-Gaming the system. Party insiders have the only vote.
But my OWN title would be TONGUE TIED.
No Country for Old Women
For Whom the bots toll
I like For Whom The Bots Troll better I think…
Can we change titles in mid-stream?
Can we switch the words?
They matter!
1. The Hijackers Guide to the White House
and
2. The Lyin’King
I like:
The Hijackers Guide to the White House
and
Belittle Women
Legend of Deeply Hollow
Belittle Women
Screams of My Mother was funny (though I would add ‘grand’) and seems to go with…’How to Make fun of Obama’ in the LAT
[I like to imagine that his granny wasn't that bad and that Obama was just super-sensitive. Like she would tell him it was bedtime and he'd yell, "Oh, I [have to go to bed because I'm black!" Or she'd tell him to clean up his room and he'd start yelling, "Oh, clean my room, huh? My people stopped obeying the white woman 100 years ago, Grammy!" Then they'd both laugh and she'd whip him.]
Best joke in the LAT piece by Joel Stein:
[He's effete. He's well-dressed. He eats arugula -- which he buys at Whole Foods. He mocks those who use guns. He is, as we mentioned, quite thin. He may only be half-black, but he's three-quarters gay.]
http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-oe-stein18-2008jul18,0,3819643.column
LOL- GOOD ONE. I needed the laugh
hahahahaha
Oh Hell-just call it “Freaky Saturday”-the twilight zone of May 31, 2008.
How about “Whiny loser children who don’t represent the person they claim too.”
Invasion of the Caucus Snatchers or my favorite….Raging Bullshit!
Ten Things I Hate about UHHHHHHBama
The World According to BoBo
The Princess Barry Diaries
For Whom the MSM Trolls
The Trouble With Trolls
Revenge of the Obamanerds
Children of the Damned
Back Seat Barry
The Hillfans Have Eyes
Gone With The Spin
Husseins World
Bo and Daves Excellent Adventure
Invasion of the delegate snatchers.
The highjackers guide to the White House.
The Unbearable Righteousness of Being a Troll
Or, (Last one, I promise!!)
The Unbearable Lightness of being Obama
So many good ones to choose from but I guess I’ll go for:
The Hijackers Guide to the White House