Oh God!!

If you thought that Republicans had a monopoly on tasteless, stupid comments invoking God as an excuse for human tragedy, meet the so-called Democratic progressives. Don Fowler and Michael Moore are vying for the Pat Robertson award for the idiotic introduction of theology to assign blame for natural and man-made disasters. Do you remember the Pat and Jerry show (You know, Robertson and Falwell) after the attacks on 9-11:

JERRY FALWELL: And I agree totally with you that the Lord has protected us so wonderfully these 225 years. And since 1812, this is the first time that we’ve been attacked on our soil and by far the worst results. And I fear, as Donald Rumsfeld, the Secretary of Defense, said yesterday, that this is only the beginning. And with biological warfare available to these monsters — the Husseins, the Bin Ladens, the Arafats — what we saw on Tuesday, as terrible as it is, could be miniscule if, in fact — if, in fact — God continues to lift the curtain and allow the enemies of America to give us probably what we deserve.

PAT ROBERTSON: Jerry, that’s my feeling. I think we’ve just seen the antechamber to terror. We haven’t even begun to see what they can do to the major population.

JERRY FALWELL: The ACLU’s got to take a lot of blame for this.

PAT ROBERTSON: Well yes.

And do you remember the deserved criticism heaped on those two sanctimonious clowns for their idiotic remarks? Good. So answer me this. Why is it wrong for conservative Republicans to blame homosexuals for 9-11 but it is okay for prominent Democrats, so-called progressives, to say God is punishing Republicans when an impending Category 4 hurricane hits New Orleans. Hypocrisy anyone?

Let’s start with Michael Moore appearing on Keith Olbermann:

“I was just thinking, this Gustav is proof that there is a God in Heaven.” Moore said with a chuckle in a televised interview.

“That it would actually be on its way to New Orleans for Day one of the Republican convention up in the twin cities at the top of the Mississippi River,” Moore said, in an interview with MSMBC’s Keith Olbermann, on Countdown.

Classy Michael, classy. What next? You going to become an expert commentator on personal fitness and grooming?

But it doesn’t stop with Moore. Did you catch Don Fowler, who is not normally known as a Democratic bomb thrower. He’s sitting on a plane unaware that someone behind him is recording his comments on Hurricane Gustav:

So let’s get this straight. Only Democratic progressives are entitled to simultaneously condemn the influence of the religious right in the Republican party while indulging in the same kind of mumbo, jumbo superstitious religious bullshit when it suits their purpose?

And many of these same Democrats want to attack Sarah Palin for being a conservative religious figure (but so far has shown no inclination to impose her personal beliefs on the people of Alaska) but reserve for themselves the luxury of assigning God’s wrath to Republicans.

Curse them all. What happens when hurricane Gustav hits land is not an act of God. It is a natural act that will give human beings a chance to demonstrate whether or not they learned a damn thing from hurricane Katrina. You know what is likely to happen? With a Republican governor in place and a re-energized Department of Homeland Security, also under the control of Republicans, there will be praise for the preparation and response to this impending disaster. So instead of the hapless Republican officials (e.g. Mike “Heck-of-a-job” Brown) doing nothing while people died at the New Orleans’ Convention Center, the media will be plastered with images of officials leading troops and vehicles to the rescue. What could have been a disaster for Republicans may turn out to be their Rudy Guiliani finest moment.

And if that happens, does that mean “God loves Republicans?” I am both amused and puzzled by our ability as Americans to invoke God’s blessings and cursings as an excuse or justification for certain developments (e.g., you know, God wanted the Giants and not the Patriots to win the Super Bowl) while decrying those crazy Muslims who believe that Allah is somehow guiding and directing events in their lives.

How about this as a novel idea? Let’s just keep God out of it.