Onion “News” About Bill Clinton **OPEN THREAD**
By Rabble Rouser Reverend Amy on December 5, 2008 at 5:30 PM in Bamboozling, Barack Obama, Big Oil, Hillary Clinton, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, Susan Rice
Well, you know I am not all that crazy about Hillary Clinton being the Secretary of State for Barack Obama because I do not trust him. As it is, he is already complicating her job by appointing a special Middle East Envoy who will report directly to HIM as opposed to the Secretary of State, as well as by elevating the position of UN Ambassador, to which he appointed Dr. Susan Rice, to a Cabinet Level position, already makes Clinton’s job more difficult. Oh, and Dr. Rice’s position is particularly galling because she claimed Colin Powell proved Iraq had WMD. Well, not to many of us, but what did we know? Oh, yeah - we were RIGHT. Anywho, so much for all those Obama supporters who claimed his anti-war stance was the most important reason to vote for him. HAHAHAHA. Ahem. I am certain they will find a way to spin that, too…
Of course, I want what is best for Senator Clinton, and what is best for this country. And I HOPE that Obama isn’t just setting her up to fail, or to take the blame for his errors. If that proves to be the case, and I hope it doesn’t, don’t say I didn’t warn ya.
So, in order for Hillary Clinton to be able to take this position, her husband had to be willing to have his donors and speeches be more transparent and accessible to the POTUS. And with that, we have this article from The Onion (and for those who don’t know, its a parody-based “news” source): Bill Clinton Agrees To Disclose Guacamole Recipe
WASHINGTON—In a major stride toward increased transparency of former presidents’ culinary activities, Bill Clinton agreed Monday to disclose a highly guarded guacamole recipe—including a full list of ingredients—so that his wife, Sen. Hillary Clinton, can be named the next Secretary of State. “President Clinton’s efforts will help us avoid any potential ethical problems that the continued secrecy of the preparation instructions for this delicious Mexican appetizer could cause,” said Obama transition team spokesperson Ian Gloucester, who added that the recipe will be vetted for any undue foreign influence from Middle Eastern flavors such as cumin. “We’re just trying to steer clear of the issues that would arise if this dish was to be served in the White House, and it was discovered that the provenance of the recipe was less than savory.” Administration insiders said that if the guacamole recipe is traced back to celebrity television chef Rachael Ray, Sen. Clinton will be compelled to decline her nomination.
That President Clinton - he is wiling to do ANYTHING for his lovely wife…I wonder if he really IS being considered for her Senate seat? Wouldn’t THAT be a kick???
Because I have been talking about our students, teachers, and schools of late, I give you this video, also from The Onion:
In The Know: Are Our Children Learning Enough About Whales?
It’s Friday, people - hope this gives you a laugh.
(Release: November 13)
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has a spatula.)
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The first laugh of the day…Thanks Rev Amy!.
RRR Amy:
ROFLOL !! That’s was hilarious; thank you. I also love the
note. Cheers.
Seeing one of ONN’s interviews highlights just how insipid and full of nonsense the news networks interviews and round tables are.
Initially I was against Hillary accepting SOS and leary of what Obama is up to. However, in the last few days I have begun to think maybe she is right in accepting. We all know the economy is going to tank big time. And no matter what Obama and the Congress do the situation is not going to turn around for quite a few years.
With Hillarty at State and not in the Congress she won’t have to make any of those tough votes, or be blamed for making things worse. She will be flying all around the world dealing with foreign policy, not U.S. economic policy. She will be above the fray. And even if Obama does her in, she can resign and then feel free to say what she thinks about foreign affairs and our economic mess.
Who really knows. We shall just have to wait and see.
Why on earth would Obama want Hillary to fail? My God, people, wake the hell up. You act as if this is some sort of game he is playing, putting her in to keep her under control. The guy is many things including a liar and opportunist, but he isn’t stupid.
The world is a mess and I seriously doubt that he is appointing Cabinet members in order to bring about even more chaos.
Get over it - Obama is President and if we want our country to survive, we might stop with this petty garbage.
Hillary chose to be SOS, with exceptionally strong support from Bill because she wanted to do the job. Stop acting as if she’s some naive neophyte. Hillary Clinton is one strong babe, which is why you and I and several million others thought she should be President. When did she become some mindless bimbo - needing protection from big, bad Obama.
Henry Kissinger said that next to the President, the SOS job was the most exciting and important one in government and I have to agree.
God - can Hillary back out of this Sec State deal? I didn’t realize he also elevated Susan Rice’s position to the cabinet.
We can see how this is unfolding. This is messed up.
Never fear, Hil will rise above all of Obama’s crap. It would be TOO COOL if Bill really was appointed to Hillary’s seat! I would just be ROFL if he got to be senator from NY. The Obama people who said “obama doesn’t want Bill Clinton anywhere near his WH!” would be having a meltdown.
I heard this afternoon that Caroline Kennedy had approached Gov. Patterson about Hillary’s vacant senatorial seat. Originally, I heard Bobby K. Jr., and one of Coumo’s sons had been mentioned.
I don’t like Susan Rice. Don’t like her politics or her manner. And she was an attack dog during the primaries. But I don’t think Hillary is a push over either.
As for the Onion video, Rev. Amy–a riot. I wonder how these people pull these skits off without falling down laughing. They do what SNL used to do, creating some of the best political satire out there. SNL hasn’t been terribly consistent in the last few years. The Onion folks seem pretty much on the money most times.
A belly laugh!
I, too, heard that Caroline Kennedy has the inside track, and that Obama favors her appointment.
It’s so lovely to see the inexperienced and untested stick together.
Orchestrated to move Hillary out of her seat for the Kenndy’s?
I couldn’t sleep at all last night over this issue. I had a rude awakening about all of this. At first I was happy about her new position but now I smell a rat. I think Hillary should reneg and in fact I’m going to write to her my feelings. Bill and her are being punked big time. Fraudbama only wants her for her voters and a 2nd term. Proof is in the new envoy and the elevation of Rice’s postion. I hope Hillary changes her mind. I’m now very worried that she’ll be out in the cold with Bill sooner rather than later….Is anyone else as concerned as I am all of a sudden? :crying:
He’s not going to get Hillary’s voters, EVER! SOS is a great place for her to be until 2016. Then she’ll be POTUS!
Hillary will be 69 in 2018 - do you really think that the electorate will vote for her as Prez then? Let’s see if we can make it through the next year with the economy in the tank and Israel threatening to blow up Iran.
Do any of you live in the real world?
Yeah.
*Not* The Onion. Obama speechwriter gropes Clinton cardboard cut-out.
>>>Incoming Obama administration director of speechwriting Jon Favreau (L) and a friend pose with a cardboard cutout of incoming Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton at a party. (Obtained by The Washington Post)
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/the-trail/2008/12/04/one_more_question.html
The photo is infuriating. Frat-boy baby-faced “enormously talented speechwriter” ??? groping a U.S. senator.
Drunken frat boys in the WH. Christ, this is just f’ing great.
Well, isn’t that the kind of change we can believe in?
http://img209.imageshack.us/img209/2411/nobama1qn1.png
Ha - perfect!
Someone superimposed Obama’s head on the guy sitting at the bar on the upper right. Very clever…
Otherwise, check out commentary on this over at Uppity Woman.
RRRA - sorry to be off-topic, but I hope you do a blog post on this slate article, you are the perfect one to do it.
http://www.slate.com/id/2205150/
Okay Catfish, I read this item from Slate, and I had to look twice to make sure I wasn’t reading another spoof from The Onion. I mean, that bit about testing lactating mothers for the production of oxytocin seemed too surreal to be true. Okay folks, I’m not going to describe it–you have to check out the link.
This hormone has been postulated to be the basis of emotional attachment. The implications would be very significant if true. So it sounds weird but there are some real research reasons for measuring oxytocin in association with emotional experiences, like being a nursing mother.
Yes, the article was interesting in that the opposite of elevate, on the emotional continuim, is disgust. And people who looved Obama were disgusted with McCain and Palin (and before that, Hillary.)
Ewwwwww!
So, Obama is a “vagal superstar?” This is what happens when you allow academics to waste a lot of money on nonsense.
And that “liquid feeling in their chests” on Inauguration day?
That’s the American public drowning in silliness!
Pule-e-ese. Another example of what we’re getting for news these days.
Thanks, Catfish! I’ll check it out.
And no worries, friend - it’s an open thread!
I read that Gov Paterson talked with Caroline Kennedy about the Senate seat. I hope this is only a courtesy or a joke.
Also, I hope someone talks about 0bama’s speech writer groping a cardboard cut out of Hillary Clinton at a party recently.
What I want to know is what was that doing there? Hillary lost the Primary months ago, 0bama’s elected and yet these frat-boys can’t move on. What’s up with that?
He should be fired for this.
Yeah that right. Fired. He’s the words of the President and he just revealed that something’s not right in his head. So, in essence, the words are meaningless coming from him. They have no basis in human compassion or interaction. He just puts words together for a paycheck.
Essentially, 0bama’s wordsmith is a jerk.
OMG is that infuriating or what? SO Caroline Kennedy, who wants this private life, now changes her mind and expects to glide into the seat of a woman who has stuck her neck out.
RFK Jr. at least has been an outspoken environmental advocate.
I fear Caroline Kennedy getting that seat would just reinforce negative stereotypes about women being too quiet and riding coattails of daddy or hubby. And what are her politics? We don’t even know.
As for his speechwriter - he needs a lesson in the danger of OVERWRITING. “This is the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow” oy vey.
I agree. What are Caroline’s politics.
And what good would she be in the Senate under an 0bama presidency. Just be an obedient Bothead.
It’s time to dethrone the Kennedys. It’s time. After what she did, it would be a disgrace for her to get Hillary’s seat.
Read her ghosted books. Pablum about privacy. Not really very strong re women’s rights. Too in awe of male power, from beginning to end.
And, maybe I got it wrong, but I heard that Patterson approached CK, not the other way around.
PUMA!!
I agree, Mimi. Carolyn as a Senator would be a joke! And they laughed at Palin! Give me a break!
Trixta,
I agree with you totally!
America needs to get away form Nepotism and the power of name only for our elected representatives. That’s why we got Bush instead of McCain in 2000
I also believe that experience and commitment are need for these positions in this troubled time. the fact that Carolyn helped Obombo win is no qualification to lead.
Now I would like to see Bill be Senator.Just like john Quincy Adams became a senator after being president so can Bill clinton.
I don’t think Patterson has the smarts to make the right choice.
I meant Caroline.
That seat should be RFK, Jr.’s. What does Caroline Kennedy know about being a senator? About as much as she knew about picking a VP–nothing. So, now we know why Teddy insisted on putting Obama on the ticket.
Seems that Bobby Jr said no and suggested Caroline and that Paterson approached her after BO said he thought “it was a great idea”…
It is a shameful PLUM !!!
Mimi, you’re right. The primary is long over and why now and why still? Shows the depravity of some people.
It shows that their obsessed with Hillary and powerful women. It shows their inadequacies. If that had been a cardboard of Angelina Jolie, maybe we could laugh it off, call them adolescent and just more of the same coming from young males these days. But this shows some deep-seated psychological problem. They can deny it all they want to but it the photo and the timing proves otherwise.
Favreau should be FIRED!
Don’t you find it interesting after all of Obama’s talk about not needing any dynasties in politics(change baby change) that Caroline Kennedy of the dynastic family extraordinaire now wants to be senator after she raised her kids? Now I see why Hillary was offered SOS(though for the country she is the best choice).Caroline doesn’t have to bother with campaigning because after all she is JFK’s daughter! Granted she’s a lawyer but so am I and hundreds of thousands of others but the Clinton’s earned their spots in government. This strikes me like Neil Bush learning banking being placed on a board of directors(of what turned out to be a failed savings and loan).
In addition ,I’m well aware of the affection her mother had for Hillary. I’m also aware of Ted’s failed presidential aspirations and why they were failed!I know the help Bill and Hillary gave to Ted when he had a tough election against Romney.
The worse thing about all this is that the precedent has been set by Obama that celebrity over experience wins the day. Numerous highly talented women legislators will not have the opportunity to be considering a run for the senate in NY because the word will be out that the Kennedy family expects it to be their seat because well they are entitled because they are “the” Kennedys.Makes Ted’s endorsement of Obama more understandable. Hillary was not going to be allowed to be president if Ted wasn’t because he was going to decide who carried his family’s legacy. While it is sad his misfortune health wise I’m quite underwhelmed by his character.As for Caroline her pronouncement that her kids turned her on to Obama is laughable. My kids are her kids age and they don’t guide my decision making politically.Her conflating her father’s legacy with Obama was weird as well because as a 6 year old she hardly had a mature view of who her dad was. Obama in no way has the experience her father had.I find Caroline disloyal and her conduct towards Hillary quite cruel. As for Ted he is not to be expected by me to be respectful to women in general so his snubbing of Hillary didn’t surprise me.
I’m glad I no longer reside in NY. But if I did I’d never consider voting for Caroline.
Favreau has a Mommy problem. His mommy made him do his chores and now he is showing how he is “getting the best of her” by taking this picture.
It looks like he cannot tolerate a strong woman, the archetypal mother, or mother tiger — which is what I am sure Hillary represents to him and his young cronies.
I don’t care if it is a party — he is a representing the President-elect — someone is taking his picture. Nothing is private anymore — he should know better. Is this who we want representing the President? He should grow the hell up.
During the primary, whenever Hillary would call Barack out on the issues, she was accused of “attacking him, as though she were the cruel mother attacking her defenseless son.
Perfect. We have a President we have to protect. I thought it was supposed to be the other way around.
The voice of Obama.
>>>”Mr. Favreau, 27, has had a hand in practically every speech that the president-elect has delivered over the last four years, following Mr. Obama from his Senate office to the presidential campaign.”
“While legend has it that Mr. Obama writes his own speeches longhand on a legal pad, a better historical account will show that he offers input and Mr. Favreau crafts them.”
http://politicalwire.com/archives/2008/11/26/obama_names_chief_speechwriter.html
http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/Vote2008/story?id=4259093&page=1
Passing the Torch: Kennedy’s Touch on Obama’s Words- Ted Sorensen, Legendary Speechwriter, Lends Support, Eloquence to Democratic Contender
By Susan Donaldson James, 2/8/08 ABC News.
This article explains how Ted Sorensen, President John F. Kennedy’s top advisor and speechwriter, was/is helping to write Barack Obama’s speeches…
Hmmm…with all the proof from all that research maybe we should be cooing, “Freedom. NO on FISA. NO on bailouts. Fiscally responsible. Research BEFORE you cast your vote.” to our unborn babes?
What else we should add to the cooing?
Can you imagine how embaressing its going to be for the speechwriter with his hand on Hillary’s breast is going to be when he actually has to meet her face to face? Lord, I’d love to be a fly on the wall when he has to look Hillary Clinton right smack dab in the eye and see how flustered and humiliated he becomes!
Men don’t get embarrassed over stuff like that. That’s why I think he should be FIRED! It’s the only way to get the message over.
FIRE HIM!
Maybe the Hillary cut-out asked for it? I mean, she has breasts, was in a skirt AND she was drinking.
Silly, cut-out, should have known better.
Very good toni.
She was asking for it.
Oh wait…. What am I thinking?
You can’t joke with men about this kind of thing. All they’ll do is agree that the ‘Hillary cutout was asking for it.’
Oh, don’t berate jon, an ugly failed runt in his mother’s eye, of course he’s angry.
Who else can he blame but womankind?
Rev. Amy—Thanks so much for the laughs!
And by the way, I happen to know for a fact that Bill Clinton’s favorite Mexican restaurant here in Austin Texas is “Guero’s”. Check out this definiton of that word…and also note that the restaurant is owned by a Jewish man! This has got International Incident written all over it!!
“Güero (Alternatively spelled Guero or Huero pron. IPA ['wero] sounds like “Wher-roh” in English) is a Spanish slang demonym for a light-skinned person, commonly directed to a non-Hispanic white American; however, it can also be directed to Latinos with lighter complexions. Depending on its usage, the word can be considered pejorative, but is also found as a common term of endearment. For example: “¿Qué onda, Güero?”. (In English, “What’s up, white boy?”)
See more at Wikipedia.org.”
Thanks again, Rev. Amy!! You have such fun posts!
Whitey tape.
Kook.
The frat boy photo is exactly what you’d expect from BO and his infantile team. They are adolescents and it’s just a visual image of how the One and those close to him view women–as NOTHING. He proved it during the campaign with the disgusting gestures and remarks about Clinton and Palin–get ready for more of this because he and his buddies think this is normal-unless of course it was a cardboard cutout of Mechelle, then all hell would break loose.
Thanks RRRA, gotta love The Onion
George Bush reported to be drinking heavily.
http://www.prisonplanet.com/bush-reported-to-be-drinking-heavily.html
Bush is drinking heavily ’cause he read Obama’s birth certificate while listening to the whitey tape. If I’d done such a thing I’d be drinking heavily, too. I’d probably get alcohol poisoning and fall into a coma where I’d dream about birth certificates and whitey tapes.
If Bush is drinking, all the more reason for 0bama to cut the bullshit about there only being ‘one president at a time’ and step up.
I knew this would happen. We have a president who only wanted to win the election. Now that he’s won, he is absolutely clueless about governing. The country is at a unique point in history because of the economic crisis and the war and 0bama is standing pretentiously on ceremony. And his kool-aid-drinking Botheads think they can run subterfuge by this persistant asinine trolling for the so-called whitey tape. Trust me assholes, this ain’t gonna save 0bama from his personal accountability as POTUS.
All 0bama cares about is his stupid Inauguration, his Inaugural Speech and all the pomp and circumstance surrounding his ‘historic’ victory. All he’s concerned about is the wall-to-wall coverage of him, the photo-ops as he tries to channel the Camelot era a la Kennedy that anyone with half a brain now knows was bullshit.
People are getting laid off, losing their homes, and no one in their right mind wants to ogle celebutards like 0prah, and the rest of the AA rich and famous all crying like slaves on the day the Emancipation Proclamation was signed. (And please, I’m AA so don’t go there because I can say this if I want to.)
Enough!
It’s time to get to the business of governing and acting like adults in the middle of a crisis.
He could set a tone of maturity today by just firing his speech writer for conduct unbecoming of any member of the president’s staff.
What are we all 12 now?
And then Americans expect respect throughout the rest of the world.
I don’t think so.
The country has a lot of growing up to do.
mimi, I just saw a yahoo headline that said his campaign does not know what to do with $30M surplus of campaign money. How many stupid people gave him their life savings in these tough times? Could he not have won with the $85M feds were giving him? The excesses you mention during these times are highly inappropriate but unfortunately that is all he is interested in.
He can pay Hillary’s vendors with that money. The twirp owes her forever and a day. She brought this election home for him and he needs to belly up and pay the vendors! Without her he would have lost!
Obama’s “antiwar position” was no more a reason to vote for him than was Hillary’s. Oh wait, she voted for the war having bought all the lies hook line and sinker. And, in fact, had no intention of ever withdrawing (before the oil is all pumped out). Obama’s 16 months was a sop to deluded progressives who will always support the lesser evil no matter how evil it is. Besides Kucinich no democrat had an anti war position.
RFK was assasinated in 1968 while serving as Senator from New York. RFK, Jr. has actually worked in the public arena, especially for environmental causes. I agree - if family legacy is the key, Bobby, Jr. should get Hillary’s seat. Of course, he was also a Hillary supporter, unlike Caroline.
Excuse me, ma’am but can you spare a birth whitey tape certificate?
Bob, have you checked Tony Rezko’s safe?
Re; The speech writer and the frat boys: Wait until there are no jobs for them and even if they have one their salaries cannot be paid. With their level of behavior and intelligence that might be a good thing for our country.
They can always get jobs writing about whitey tapes and birth certificates. Those industries have job security for at least the next four years (barring impeachable offenses of course).
[...] Onion “News” About Bill Clinton **OPEN THREAD** Well, you know I am not all that crazy about Hillary Clinton being the Secretary of State for Barack Obama because I do not trust him. [...]
[...] Onion “News” About Bill Clinton **OPEN THREAD** Well, you know I am not all that crazy about Hillary Clinton being the Secretary of State for Barack Obama because I do not trust him. [...]
Did SCOTUS Deny Cert. On The Birth Certificate Case?
http://patriotroom.com/did-scotus-deny-cert-on-the-birth-certificate-case/
Now how about that tape about whitey?
Well lookie Bob-o knows how to spell whitey:-0
Stop the hate, hater!
No, no, all you bots set us straight, remember? She didn’t say, “whitey”; she said “why’d he”!?!?!? bob, you’re always good for a laugh!
Bobo, if you pull that thumb out of your arse the tape should follow.
But at least there was an impressive demonstration! http://nebaru.blogspot.com/2008/12/dipshits-on-parade.html. This level of public support can’t be ignored!
Yes, that was an impressive demonstration, and yet the writer of the article was derisive of the groups’ efforts. It’s funny how some like to sling shit at the “tin foil” people who insist that BO is not a natural born citizen, however, they are the ones who will look stupid, when the truth comes out. If he truly was born in Hawaii, then why not prove it, and put all these law suits to bed. Very simple to do.
OMG–I’d love to see the stuff that had to be cut out due to laughing hysterically while filming–thanks, that was too funny! Gotta— love The Onion!
A real bummer if Caroline Kennedy gets her way and inherits Sen. Clinton’s seat. New York deserves better than this. I just wrote a letter to my governor, David Patterson, regarding Caroline Kennedy’s wants and needs for a political career:
Dear Governor,
It is with dismay that I am reading news stories this evening regarding “Caroline Kennedy Casting her eye on Clinton’s Senate Seat.”
Governor, I hope you will resist any pressure to award the Clinton seat (should Hillary be confirmed as Secretary of State) to Caroline Kennedy. Ms. Kennedy has no real experience in government and she certainly does not know New York State beyond the Hamptons or the luxury apartment buildings of Manhattan.
I realize she has been doing some work with the NYC Public Schools but it’s my understanding it’s been mostly fundraising for the school system using her rolodex of big name society figures.
That’s fine as it goes, but it does not in any way qualify her to work for the people of NYS in the capacity of U.S. Senator.
Perhaps you’re getting pressure to give the seat to a woman. I’m a woman and I expect you to give it to the most qualified woman or man. Caroline Kennedy’s need to get involved in politics at this stage of her life should not take priority over the needs of the people of New York.
Since a special election will be called for this senate seat in 2010, please consider more experienced people with first hand knowledge of government and of New York State and appoint an interim Senator who can really help New York State. Mario Cuomo comes to mind. So does Bill Clinton. Or any other experienced former office holder who has New York’s interests at heart in these dangerous economic times.
We do not need a “lightweight” as our Senator at this time. Let Caroline Kennedy take her chances with the voters in 2010 and, if she really is interested in us, let her spend the next two years traveling all over New York and meeting the people outside of Manhattan. (By the way, I live in Manhattan.) In the meantime, while Caroline is preparing to run for the Senate in 2010, New York can benefit from one of our many experienced people who can really help the State.
Thank you for listening, and best wishes to you and your family this Christmas.
Excellent letter Mandelay–respectful and to the point. I’m afraid my letter would start “Dear Governor Toady,” and go downhill from there.
Will Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State Be Undermined by the Appointment of a Middle East Envoy? See What MESH Thinks…
http://insightanalytical.wordpress.com/2008/12/06/will-hillary-clinton-as-secretary-of-state-be-undermined-by-the-appointment-of-a-middle-east-envoy/
With a H/T to Rev. Amy, I delve further into what the possible scenarios could be about the possible appointment of a special envoy by visiting MESH and seeing some key observations from the experts….