Is that a BlackBerry in your pocket? Or are you just glad to see me?
By Steve_in_KC on January 24, 2009 at 1:30 PM in Current Affairs, Humor
It looks like P*BO has won the Battle of the BlackBerry, but not necessarily a BlackBerry. It’s the NSA’s version, The Sectera Edge. I saw a comment by a reader of this article that called it a “Black Ops Berry,” which I thought was clever enough to steal, but I knew I’d get busted.
By the way, * = wild card. It used to be an E for “-Elect” but “peebo” is too cool a name to let go, so I’m just using the asterisk. It can mean whatever you want it to mean. Or it could mean what it most resembles.
The articles I read say that the obvious concern over security for the PP (POTUS P*BO) was not only that his messages might be intercepted and decoded, but that a hacker might be able to turn it into a listening device, possibly even worse.
How about if hackers managed to get control of it and sent email messages as him? They could spam the whole world, forwarding the contents of his hard-drive, including the Nuclear Codes, or worse, pictures of Michelle in the buff!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Or maybe they could get it to broadcast a live web-feed of audio and video constantly. We’d get to go everywhere with him and hear every sound he made! Actually, I believe MSNBC, The 24-hour Obama Channel, would use that as a constant Picture-In-Picture in the corner on their broadcasts. While they tell you about every movement Obama has made, you could actually watch him making a new one!
We’d get extreme close-ups of him reading the tiny PDA, along with whatever the camera would see. Oh jeeze, what if he sits it on his bedside table at night? Wouldn’t that be a Special Feature Presentation?
 [She's certainly a tall one, isn't she? Especially in this picture! If I hadn't done it myself, I would swear that someone had PhotoShopped it! It's unreal!] |
We might even catch Michelle red-handed turning White House draperies and bedspreads into clothing! How would that look to the world? Our own “Fist Lady” caught live on TV making another new frock from the Presidential upholstery?
|
There was a lot of flak in the White House security circles about what could happen if P*BO’s emails and private information got intercepted, and it is worth noting that it can also be used to locate the POTUS via triangulated signals, just like you see on Law & Order and 24. But if anyone wants to know where The One is, all they have to do is triangulate the press corps. However, I think I’d go one step further and quadrangulate, or draw and quarter them.
What I’m more concerned about is that his PDA (whatever brand it is), can be used to receive Top Super Secret Orders from the Trilateral Commission, the Illuminati, KAOS, or whatever sub-rosa group is controlling everything. We all know there is someone behind all this stuff. I don’t know who, but it had to have started long ago, and cost billions of dollars. The make-overs, the plastic surgeries, the bribes to election officials, the laundering of campaign contributions… villainy isn’t cheap!
These secret messages between BO and his Evil Overlord, conducted through his ever-present BlackBerry, have been the cause of a lot of concern and speculation. Is it possible that he doesn’t make a move without clearing it through Mr. Big, or whoever is on the other end of that thing? Maybe it contains a secret program that allows its owner to become One with The One through some kind of telepathic signals, a sort of Vulcan Mind Meld at an undetectable frequency.
From his ultra-secret control pod at the bottom of the Pacific’s Mariana Trench, this evil mastermind, living in extreme luxury in his shatter-proof glass dome, monitors all the Top Secret meetings the POTUS attends, tells him what to say, and how to pose as if he’s thinking hard while listening for his next instruction.
Somebody or some group is calling the shots from “behind the curtain.” I hope for their sake it’s not a curtain that catches Michelle’s eye or they could be exposed when she pulls it down and wraps it around herself.
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lol, steve. you’re too much. you should be a stand up comedian. lol rofl. you’re too good. hehehehe
agreed! too funny.
Can’t he just use it for personal use? Why should he be allowed to use it for official matters?
Don’t they want a record of ALL calls/transactions by POTUS? This would seem to bypass that…
Awww, thank you benny! But I could never be a stand-up comedian. My knees can’t take that kind of strain! They are already complaining about having to walk to the car every day.
Steve—You’re a riot…..but a GOOD riot).
Thanks for the laughs.
Steve—You’re a riot…..but a GOOD riot.
Thanks for the laughs.
Thank you, Cindy!
Thank you, Cindy!
LOL!
LOL!
Oh, that MEchelle, wearing uphostery clothes again!
She scares me more than Barry.
By the way, the * for me is going to mean error!
Who gave you a copy of Photoshop?!?!?!?! It’s a dangerous tool in YOUR hands!
Oh, that outfit. It would have been great at Caesar’s Palace, but at a somber inaugural ceremony? Not so much.
I’m not much of a fashionista, but there’s something going on with Michelle’s choices. Surely she has people who are supposed to help her with her choices, but I wonder if she overrules them. I can’t imagine that her advisers were for that outfit – well, maybe they were! How else would she have seen it if they hadn’t brought it to her to try out? Now that’s somewhere where Caroline Kennedy could be useful — she learned how to dress from her mother, and she could advise Michelle.
Nancy Pelosi could help too.
Say, someone told me a couple years ago that they’d read an article about Nancy’s life. Her husband is a hugely successful businessman and quite busy. But one thing he does for Nancy is pick out all of her clothes for her! isn’t that wild?!?!?!? Maybe he could help Michelle too.
(I know, I know — it’s superficial to talk about fashion — but it is important that she be dressed appropriately.)
What did fashion writers/editors say about her inaugural outfits? I didn’t read any opinions pieces by the fashion experts on her choices. Am curious what they said. If they approved it, which I find hard to believe, that must mean that they’re just in the tank for Obama or that they’re too afraid to say what they really think. Which seems to pervade almost all of the MSM these days.
You can tell you are dressed appropriately when they stop talking about what you wear, and start talking about what you do.
Of course that might not be good for La Michelle, so maybe its by design.
The garment wasn’t even made properly. It didn’t have a lining and it fit Michelle across the bust and under the arm.
I guess Laura gave Michelle the official White House Singer sewing machine in advance so that Michelle could run up her own clothes.
No kidding! First it’s P*BO’s “Pull my finger!” and now Michelle caught wearing the missing drapery panel.
I left off the balloon of her saying, “Drapes? What drapes?” I didn’t want to overdo it.
BHO is just being a child, by having his Obama-berry toy. do you really think that hackers can’t get into it? and especially if it belongs to the POTUS? whatever the protection? Its plain ridiculous.
A practical and cautious President would never take such a risk. BHO is just a kid who wants to keep his favourite toy. thats all.
I saw a picture of it – it says Play School on the back.
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did you put up the butter for the toast properly?
Did you put your socks in the hamper?
You’re too stinky to get in bed.
Is that thing still on?
Maybe she’s more easy on him these days. She did look pretty darn proud of him at the inaugural balls.
But one has to wonder how long that’ll last. There’ll be conversations like this soon, no doubt:
Don’t you take my picture with that thing!
Poor Michelle! That picture is just too, too funny. Dressed in the drapes. Maybe she did a Scarlett O’Hara.
I think I read somewhere that Michelle decided she was going her own way with the fashion advice and not be run around by the fashion police. Which means she’ll be put on the hot burner for every misstep.
I still think that red sheath she wore a couple days ago was stunning. Red’s her color and the cut was flattering.
Very funny piece, Steve. You made me laugh [which is something we all need].
Don’t be too hard on Michelle, she obviously must have brought her girls to see Disney’s “Enchanted”, and picked up the idea for turning all unprotected draperies into wardrobe items for herself! (apologies to people without small kids who haven’t seen the movie – the heroine had a habit of making her gowns out of the drapes, leving gaping clothes-shaped holes in them).
That’s right, Susan! I did see the movie and had forgotten that bit. How funny.
I’m sorry but that outfit looks like the playclothes Julie Andrews made for the Von Trapp children in Sound of Music….just sayin’…
as far as fashion. most first ladies try to dress conservatively. But Michelle obviously wants to be just as tacky as other famous people.
from the drapes….
Obama is probably going to send Donna Brazile photos of Michelle with spinach stuck in her teeth.
Damn, if only the UNDO button worked….
I just hope she doesn’t start wearing green – then we’ll be getting into jolly green giant territory.
Although – I don’t think we’d have to worry about her being “jolly”.
She gained weight during the campaign, but that’s understandable.
Droll, steve, really droll. Thank you for making me smile and laugh today.
Well, thank you Steve for some humor to lighten up wha is a serious issue.
I really do not understand this. I know the young kids out there are not mature to understand the importance of this, they are still pulling childish pranks and think life revolves around their picture taking cell phone and not dealing with real word issues. But our Government, CIA, FBI, WH Security detail, etc, are supposed to know better.
What’s worse is Obama should be the first to act grown up and say, OK, I know this is compromising our nation by me being selfish in keeping this and turn the sucker off and put it in a vault.
He is supposed to think of our nation FIRST, not his personal joy by texting few words to joke around or ask for a get together. PICK UP A SECURE PHONE.
YOU SOUGHT TO BECOME PRESIDENT OF OUR COUNTRY. YOU TOOK AN OATH. SHUT THE BOBERRY DOWN.
It is the custom for the President of the United States to use a new pen for each document he signs. Obama apparently is having a hard time adjusting to that.
And no, it’s not wasting pens. The pens are given to constituents as special gifts.
Steve,
Great write! And, that photo of Miserable MO is hilarious. Thanks for the laugh.
*
benny,
“Obama-berry toy”. roflolol
Black Barry Soetoro…
I take offense at this comment “Maybe it contains a secret program that allows its owner to become One with The One through some kind of telepathic signals, a sort of Vulcan Mind Meld at an undetectable frequency.”
Anyone with the most minimal knowledge of Star Trek knows that a Vulcan Mind Meld CANNOT be initiated from a distance. Vulcans are touch-telepaths, and only AFTER an initial contact has been made through the Mind Meld (and is of sufficient duration) can thoughts be transmitted at long distances at any time. (There was one episode where Spock reacts to the deaths of hundreds of Vulcans aboard another starship many light-years away, but the key point with that is there were HUNDREDS of Vulcans dying at a single moment.)
The telepaths that I would be more concerned with are the Talosians (see the episode “The Menagerie, Parts 1 and 2″). Hell, for all we know, the Talosians might be controlling ALL of us into believing that Obama is the POTUS as part of some nefarious scheme (much like Capt Pike believed at first–until the last few minutes of the episoder where the Talosians’ plan turns out to be for Pike’s welfare).
Even worse, maybe Obama is part of the Founders’ scheme (this might explain why Obama hasn’t released any medical records*) to dominate Earth.
*For the other Trekkers or Trekkies reading, how’s THAT for a conspiracy theory?
Did you steal my idea that PEBO’s blackberry was used to communicate with whoever — or whatever controls him???? Did you? DDDDIIIIDD ya — ha ha??
But seriously — follow the money — the real source of the money — and where will it lead? Could be on the ONE’s blackberry??
Riverdaughter found an article done in the mid 1990s — which seemed to indicate that PEBO was being prepared even then.
Both the Obamas have had plastic surgery — his nose is obvious — probably more. Mrs. 0 — she’s had extensive plastic surgery — comparing before and now photos (plus a blog quotes plastic surgeons who, since this is their business can spot the work of other surgeons.)
It is as if these two were prepared like beauty pageant contestants — a few physical adjustments to make them more “psychologically” appealing. There is a whole lot of research on how humans respond to specific face types — and to me some of the cosmetic work on Mrs. Obama seems to follow that research.
But PEBO’s nose has changed — PEBO had a pre-surgery Michael Jackson type nose — and now he has a radically changed nose.
The nose job really is very apparent — in PEBOs early photos he looks just like thousands of other mixed race kids in Hawaii — with his dark tan and his broad nose. Then his current nose — there is no way that merely growing up with change a nose that drastically.
They had their faces changed to make them more appealing to the unconscious minds — WHO funded this plastic surgery?? IS this person connected to PEBO via his Blackberry??????
Hey — this is a plot for a novel — never mind — gotta go.
Steve, I call him PITO
President In Training Obama
good one new hamster..i think you are spot on..
Wow, that dress IS the drapes.
I hear she is not our tallest first lady – Eleanor Roosevelt was 6′, La Michelle is 5′11″.
Very funny, and concluding imagery is cracking me up, SteveinKC…
Hey, so do you know if all his Blackberry communications have to be archived officially?
Villainy isn’t cheap! isn’t that the truth?
While acknowledging Obama’s penchant for pretending to be historical figures, whether it be Lincoln, JFK, MLK or Reagan, after watching this funny video and seeing Steve’s photoshopped picture of Michelle above, I am wondering if she might be pretending too, to be a famous literary character… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGpeqgrAIwE ha, ha
Is Michelle pretending too, to be a famous literary character… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGpeqgrAIwE ha, ha
This is all entertaining and hilarious, but I am wondering ~ if Obama is investigated by a special prosecutor, and all emails/communications are deemed relevant to the investigation, do the Blackberry communiques get included in that category? Or would those commmunications be exempt under Executive privlege? I am curious to know if Obama has set up a means of communication which cannot be challenged or collected in case of any investigation. This is a critical point, and one worth investigating. Don’t you think?