Octomom Speaks
By dcmediagirl on February 6, 2009 at 9:04 AM in Current Affairs
The silence has been broken. Octomom Nadya Suleman is talking about her obsession with children, and it ain’t pretty. If you thought what Grandma had to say was bad, wait until you get a load of what comes out of baby machine Suleman’s mouth.
I won’t link because a simple search on Google News will yield more than enough information about Suleman’s interview with NBC. But here’s what we know based on the wire stories summarizing her interview and various other reports. She was “depressed” and “suicidal”. Her compulsion to have multiple children started during her teen years. She had all those kids because she was “lonely” and grew up in a “dysfunctional environment”. She only returned to work once following the filing of a workman’s comp claim. After the birth of her first child she experienced “wild mood swings”. Her pregnancies aggravated her back problems, so much so that she couldn’t lift her first child. She feared that her first child would be “kidnapped or injured” and required that her mother or then-husband take her everywhere.
She is 33 years old. She has been living with her aged parents for years. She has no job. By her own admission she has gone through periods of severe mental instability. There are now 8 infants, 6 young children and 3 adults living in a 3-bedroom house.
Alarm bells are ringing in my head.
Since I haven’t seen the whole interview it’s hard to say whether Suleman had to answer really tough questions, like giving up the name of the doctor who implanted all those embryos, how she paid for the IVF treatments, how she plans to support her children, who will foot the bill for her and the babies’ medical care… the list goes on and on.
I disagree with those who think that this story is no more than a circus sideshow. There are serious issues that need to be addressed about the ethics and practices of the fertility industry, which may end up punishing responsible would-be parents. More fallout to come. In the meantime, God help those children.
(Release: November 13)
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looks to me she’s had her lips done too….fits right in the new america….right, god help those children…nothing normal about this at all
Why? I thought she has a cesarean.
THAT was funny
She definitely looks like she’s had work done on both her lips and her nose. In an eerie way she resembles Angelina Jolie. The whole Nadya Suleman experience is just too disturbing for words.
I thought the same thing when I saw her. She even appears to try to copy Jolie’s manner, hair. I’m sure a tunny tuck is next…for her mental health of course.
She was lonely. Now she has magnified that to 14 little lonely children. No mother, even a healthy one can cover all those bases with any degree of depth. Sad little sicko.
that’s tummy.
I think they should fly in Milena Velba, Nadine Jansen and Alicia Loren to help with the babies.
That may not help with the uh, “circus” label, though…
Agree 100%. At a minimum, there are 14 reasons for everyone to care.
Whenever you have four times as many mouths as nipples…that’s a crisis. These babies are going to feel like they got some kind of time-share condo deal where you don’t actually own your own nipple but have to schedule visitations in the off-season. These poor babies.
OctoMom? Nay. She is no mother in my book. I have another name for this woman that is derived from a certain James Bond movie; and it isn’t Octakitty, if you know what I mean.
I saw a segment of the Anne Curry interview on Today. What bothered me most is that she played the single mom card. Claiming that she was being persecuted because she is not married and that a married couple would not be scrutinized the way she is for making this choice.
And needless to say, Anne Curry didn’t call her on it. It’s a true slap at all of the single parents out there.
I think my husband nailed it. He said that the doctor involved did this for:
a. The money.
b. The fame.
I say again that the doctor involved needs to have their license revoked.
I feel for the children and the elderly parents. The mother? Not so much.
I think the Mom is mentally ill, and I’m not sure to what extent a mentally ill individual can be held responsible for their actions.
How and why the HELL a doctor would perform IVF on a mentally ill woman is simply beyond me, it was his or her responsibilty to say no.
He, or she, SHOULD have their license revoked.
Those poor kids…
Great quote from UPenn medical ethics expert Arthur Caplan:
Very well said. What the hell ever happened to the Hypocratic Oath? That whole “do no harm” thing comes to mind. The fertility doctor harmed the health of the mother, the babies, the well-being of the other children and their grandparents…the list goes on and on.
I think you mean Hippocratic Oath. “Hypocratic Oath” was the Obama ?Democrat pledge. And they are certainly the biggest hypo-crats in history.This woman obviously thinks she is some Angelina Jolie “celebrity” , just watching and listening to her makes you hair stand up. Not defending the doctor, but isn’t it fairly common to implant many embryos because of the high failure rate? In any case this doctor should have refused her.
You’re right. What an embarrassing spelling error…and BTW the doctor who implanted the current eight implanted the other six, so he/she knew damn well how many kids this woman had, making the whole situation that much more inexcusable.
Actually this was a different docter.The parents already had meetings with the prevous docters about Nadyas obsession with children and had them agree not to help her again.Nadya found someone else to give a piece of this pie to.
There are many things that make me angry, BUT, the one thing that will send me off like a rocket is child abuse!
That is what we are seeing here!
Unless these children are placed with families who can love and nurture them, they will have zero chance in this life!
“By her own admission she has gone through periods of severe mental instability.”
Yes, but has she gone through any periods of mental stability is the real question.
This woman is NOT A VICTIM, her children are. As are the rest of us who are footing the bill.
Spay her, if you are comfortable with the government taking that action against a citizen. Thats the fix. I am a very strong civil libertarian so I say that in jest, but sometimes it seems the only solution.
You need a license to fish, why not to breed?
Because for years we’ve made the argument that a woman is in complete possession of her own body, and no one can interfere with her “choices.” She can have multiple late-term abortions – and on the other extreme is this.
At some point we’re going to have to back off and acknowledge that, unfair as it is, a woman’s “choices” impact other human beings.
While I’ve always been pro-choice, what bothers me is the baby is not the woman’s body. It is a part of the woman and man, and I think the father should be able to have some say so. What if the man really wants a baby? This would be his baby. The woman decides if his baby will never have a life, or if he will be paying child support. I don’t think it’s fair for the woman to decide life and death.
I know that doesn’t sound too pro-choice, but I am. I also believe there are limits to everything.
I don’t think that there is anywhere on the internet where I have found more reasonable people than here at NQ. The genuine honesty shines through.
I am more conservative than most but what I appreciate is that most every discussion is elevated to its proper place and if this trend continues I see NQ playing a huge role as a model example of what true intellectual debate can be like.
It is a goal worth attaining.
I agree with you about this site. I love it, and the people here. Even when we get upset with each other, we’re still a family!
Until men start dying or becoming injured or unable to have more kids from pregnany related complications, then no, they should not have as much of a say on this as women. Don’t like it? Well, better stop whining and start working on that artificial womb.
I’m not whining, just stating my opinion. I repsect yours, but it’s a shame that you don’t feel that way about others.
I said I was pro choice but with limits. I do feel that if their health is involved or rape or other issues, then it’s a woman’s decision. I just don’t think it should be used as a birth control method – unless you were using birth control and it failed. Or unless it’s agreed upon by both parties.
I have known many people who have had abortions because they were careless and just not ready for children, or didn’t want more. I don’t agree with this. Don’t like it? Sorry, but guess what? I was a kid when Roe v Wade happened. As a woman, I am happy it did happen. But it has been 37 years since then and we have so much more BC methods readily available, yet we are having more and more abortions. We even have the day after pill.
Don’t have to work on it, we’ve got test tubes now. You’re extreme statement had the opposite affect on me. It just reinforces my belief that men should have some say. If there is no other way for them to ever have a baby, then they should be able to decide if their baby lives or dies.
Anna, just about everything we do impacts other human beings. Just because a woman with psychological issues goes overboard on her fertility choices shouldn’t be reason to condemn “choice” for all women. (Your comments implicitly do so, in my view.) Since Roe V Wade, and since the onset of such fertility procedures, this is the first case I’ve heard where a woman has abused the system in this way.
True. And how man women have abused the system regarding Roe V Wade? I guess it’s ok to abuse the use of abortion. (Your comments implicitly do so in my view). Women fought for those rights, but not to be used as birth control. Yet today, we’re hearing Sarah Palin should have aborted her baby with downs syndrome.
Anna–In my comments did I argue for abusing choice either way–in terms of abortion or fertility? NO. The point you missed is this: There will be abusers of the system, but that shouldn’t be reason enough to condemn the entire system or all those who participate in the system. If the Suleman case teaches us anything, it is that there is a constant need to grapple with the possibility of abuses and with the ethical questions that such technology–and other technologies–bring.
Also, your point about Palin doesn’t address my argument directly, but rather serves to distract and to taint by association my comments in general.
BTW, I never mentioned Sarah Palin. But now that you have, FYI I’ve been a staunch supporter of Palin and the choices she’s made for herself, her family, and her career. Heck, I, a life-long Dem up until this election, even voted for her.
frankly anna, that pathetic woman with all the babies is a red herring. she is one and only one with that type of history. sure there are some nuts out there with the same lack of critical thinking skills. you refer to multiple abortions as if it were something women do on an annual or biannual basis. i have to seriously disagree with that view. i know women who had legal and illegal abortions. it was a once in a lifetime thing for many. some did it to keep violence from occurring in their families. i include the possibility of real violence with guns etc. look in a big city paper and you see it is common. so i don’t appreciate the way you put this forward.
women don’t need to have more rights taken away. i see all this concern for the fetus and none for the baby. please!
We have the ideal and then reality.
Reality is we are not that far from when abortions were illegal. Mexico literally saved my aunt’s life. With an abortion and plastic surgery to repair the damage the rapist had inflicted. Both her and the baby would have died if carried to term.
As to be expected for the morals of the day though not from your own mother. The hundreds of miles to Mexico my grandmother called her horrible names and blame her for the rape. Without knowing or unwilling to hear that my aunt bravely saved her younger sister from the same fate.
Sad to say women still have a hard time reporting rape and being believed in this day and age. Could you imagine if you had to convince officials while the pregnancy clock is running?
While I understand what you are saying. And most certainly it wasn’t dealing with my aunt’s extreme. Women still need to be told that they are in complete possession of their bodies. So that millions of teenage girls will value themselves enough not to barter their bodies for popularity or faux versions of love. Different from brutal rape, but it could still sidetrack a life also.
In a way, this mom has bartered her body for love and attention like we see with teenagers.
I heard she’s been getting disability for being injured on the job and hasn’t worked for 6-7 years.
That’s what I thought too.
So we’ve heard from the horse’s mouth that she’s unstable. CPS anyone???
Ok, so the compulsion started during her teen years. Get a puppy!! Her kids are under the age of 7 and she’s 33. If her loney life growing up was so dysfunctional, then get out of your parents house! The woman is a fraud, and so are the doctors that did this to her.
from an article i read:
Who’s paying for her college? How injured is her back if she can carry 14 children? Who is going to take care of her kids?
Who is paying for her college?
We are. Those children help her with federal aid. I know because it helped me to get loans and scolarships by being a single mom of 2. 14? she will most like ly have a free ride. Just for info, I got very little in scholarships for my education. I paid back my student loans, too.
OMG! I’m sitting here at work…for the Financial Aid dept at a college and didn’t even think of that! Ok, that’s a huge sign I need to get back to work!
No kidding, I08. My twins were NICU grads and the first two years were a nightmare. Between the feedings, the diaper changes, and the medical treatments I didn’t sleep for days at a time. If she wasn’t whacked before having all these children, she will be now. She is a selfish cow. There’s no way any of those children will get the attention and love they deserve. Now the state will have to step in just to ensure they are not abused or neglected. Damn. Find that doctor, garnish his wages.
Our system enables irresponsibility.
Sonic, you hit this one out of the park.
Sonic, one could make this claim about all systems and society in general, and to that extent it may be true. But if this particular technology and system are at fault–and I don’t buy this argument wholesale–then it shows that it needs more oversight, evaluation, and regulation. (Yes, laws are needed to prevent such abuses by individuals and fertility clinics.) This said, I’m not condoning Suleman’s choices. She’s irresponsible and nuts! Unfortunately, Suleman is stigmatizing a technology which has helped many.
On a personal note, I come from a very large family and know very well the hardships (as well as the joys) that a large family undergoes. This is why I and several of my siblings have made the CHOICE to refrain from biologically reproducing ourselves.
In any case, Suleman sounds like an immature, spoiled brat as well as a wackado—a lethal combination! If children all her calling than why not adopt or open a day care center?
I have no problem with someone who wants 14 kids (although very few can manage it). My problem is with someone who doesn’t anticipate and assume full responsibility for them. When you choose to use this technology, you are certainly aware of the possibility (however small it is) that all fetuses will be viable.
She is playing ‘dumb’ but is smart enough to hire PR and pick up all the checks that will come in. And they will come! It’s none of my business until my money starts going to her. Our tax dollars or insurance premiums will indirectly pick up the slack for her when those dollars could go towards my kids’ educations.
I agree, Sonic.
I refused to look at the interview. I hope she didn’t get paid for it..but who knows. Fox News reported that she has collected $165,000 in disability payments. I would not be at all surprised if eventually she would be found to have been collecting Aid to Dependent Children also. So far the hospital bill is estimated at $3 million…..Is KAISER going to have to pay for this? Supposedly KAISER reported that she was already 3 months pregnant when she first came in for an appointment.
I think the fertility clinc should be held responsible for the bill! They were the ones that wanted to experiment on a crazy lady!
There are several things that still have not been clarified because I’ve read different various reports.
- Suleman is saying that she grew up in a dysfunctional family. I have a hard time believing that. Yes, she has mental problems but documents so far have said that she grew up in a relatively normal home. She lives with her parents and up until now, they’ve been dedicated to helping her raise her first 6 children. Her father is even planning to fight in Iraq to earn income to take care of his grandchildren. Suleman’s mother has said that her daughter has tried to get pregnant since she was a teenager and they attempted to get her therapy. Her parents do not seem abusive so I think it’s unfair to blame her parents for this – even they’ve had enough with their daughter and I don’t blame them. Suleman is blaming her parents in order to gain sympathy (and donations) but she’s the one with the problem and her parents have done the most that they can to get her help and raise her children.
- I think the doctor is to blame for implanting 8 embryos instead of only 2 or 3 at a time, but would it have really changed anything? She probably would’ve kept going back until she was implanted with every viable embryo she had left. This woman has serious issues and a doctor wouldn’t have stopped her – she would’ve just went to another doctor. She probably asked the doctor to implant them all at once so that she could get this type of attention along with donations and book offers. This woman seems pretty manipulative so I wouldn’t blame it all on the doctor, though whoever helped her do this should be held accountable and disciplined. Also, I read that Suleman possibly lied to the doctor and did not tell him or her that she already had 6 other children.
- I do not have sympathy for Suleman. It is unfortunate for the children but the taxpayers and corporations are not responsible for taking care of her 14 children. California taxpayers are already going to have to pay millions for her hospital bills. Enough is enough. There are millions of other single parents who had children the natural way who are struggling to survive and must go to work everyday. Suleman shouldn’t be treated differently and it’s even worse because this wasn’t a mistake or an unplanned pregnancy. She purposely wanted to have this many children. It angers me that she could get millions out of this. She even told a neighbor who asked her how she could afford so many children that she was “being paid”. WTF?! Yea, she’s being paid with our tax dollars! Despicable!
- Also, she filed for disability (for back pains) after only working for a few years and has collected nearly $175,000 in disability since the late 90s. I’m sorry but most Americans will never see that kind of money from the government. My mother is in her 60s and still works even when she’s in pain. Suleman is only 33! This woman has been milking the system since she left graduate school!
I’m liberal and I am outraged that my tax money is going to pay this woman for her irresponsible behavior. I went to HuffPo and most people there are outraged too. I will personally email and boycott any corporation who plans to give her a new car, house, or millions of dollars. Diapers, formula, baby stuff until the kids can walk are more than enough. But this woman needs to go back to work, find the sperm donor, sue the doctor, and find a way to raise these kids on her own. It was her choice when the doctors told her she had the option of terminating some of the pregnancies. It is now her responsibility to find the money to feed 14 mouths.
She also could have donated her embryos to other needy couples.
Hi. I wrote a really long response and I think it might have gone into spam. Can someone release my comment. Or I can break it down into several posts.
send an email to susanunpc @ gmail . com
Wow, a person with such bad reasoning skills and inability to recognize her own mental health problems wants to be a counselor and advise others? Creepy.
I think the doctor needs his license stipped immediately. A lot of this womans past mental behavior is such that even a lay person would recognize as disturbing. A professional mental health professional would have seen right away this womans instability and would not have approved her for an implant procedure. Especially with her current financial and familial situation. To implant even one embryo in a woman in her early 20’s once would be questionable with her mental health history as a teenager and young adult. Over and over is negligent.
I believe CPS needs to do an investigation to see if she is fit to raise her kids. I’m thinking the 8 she just had should be given up for adoption at least. And a condition for keeping any of her kids should be dependant on her having an in depth psychiatric review and continuing therapy for her and her parents to end the destructive and co-dependant relationship they have togather.
Yep–Technology appears to be way ahead of ethics and reason. Those poor little ones…and guess who will have to pay for their care?
I worked in a public hospital for a number of years. Ironically, women who wanted to have their “tubes tied” were subjected to a series of interviews and interrogations to evaluate the appropriateness of this procedure. Younger women, pregnant women, or women with “only” one or two children were often denied. Go figure…
Until men start dying, becoming injured or rendered unable to have more children in the future because of pregnancy complications, then no, they should not have as much of say on this.
ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!
It’s not My Body, my being born Deformed (an X and a Y chromosome), so it’s not My Business.
Although, I personally think that I should not be compelled to subsidize her family planning regime, as well.
In other news, here in Canada a 60-yr old woman just delivered twins. Doctors here would not facilitate her request for in vitro fertilization, so she made the trip to her native India for the procedure.
The world’s a whacky place….
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29038814/?gt1=43001
MOTHER OF 8 BABIES SPEAKS
She is a odd one.
O’Reilly & Perez On OctoMom Nadya Suleman
make the same point about OctoMom.
It is a scary world when these 2 are harping about
where does the money come from to raise these kids?
http://mcnorman.wordpress.com/2009/02/06/wow-oreilly-perez-on-octomom-nadya-suleman/
When are they going to go after the doctor and the Fertility Clinic? Why is the doctor getting cover?
The last thing we need is for the seriousness of this discussion to become embroiled in women’s reproductive rights. This has nothing to do with that.
This is about medical ethics, child welfare and human adult responsibilty. If this woman or any woman can have 14 kids the old-fashioned way, then I, nor anyone else can say squat! At the point when modern fertility technology is involved, then I say WE ALL, men included, have some say so.
When are we going to look to what happens in nature as our common sense, and ethical guide? It’s not common for women to have octupolets. Ask yourself, how often does such an event happen naturally? Also, how often does one woman have more than 12 kids? When it’s done the old-fashioned way, nature has a way of impacting all those involved. Yes, there are people who have lots of kids. The Steeler who intercepted Warner’s pass at the Super Bowl was the youngest of 17 kids, but how often do women do this?
We have to issue ethical guidelines regarding fertility matters. Obviously, we can’t allow greedy medical practitioners to make such decisions. We also have to make counseling available to women wanting to use fertility as their means of having a family.
Octo mom should have been counseled. No woman in her right mind has 6 embryos implanted in her with 15 month old twins at home, and 4 other siblings, the oldest of which is 7. Reproductive rights be damned! Children have rights too!
And it’s high time men had some rights too.
We are fast becoming a matriarchal society and considering how dysfunctional our society is getting, I don’t see it as a good thing.
Surely there is some common sense ground between the school of ‘barefoot and pregnant’ and ‘my body, my choice.’ Especially since artificial sperm is not being used to make these babies.
Frankly, I’m not looking forward to the days of artificial wombs or artificial sperm. We’re in enough hot water with the current technology!
“We are fast becoming a matriarchal society ”
Wow! We must live on different planets!
Shocking, disgusting story. I think this woman should be poster-child for welfare reform. The TODAY show was wrong for giving this woman a voice. Wonder how much they paid her for her interview.
Everything about this woman and her family make me sick. I DO NOT BLAME THE DOCTORS. I blame this woman entirely. Also don’t let her claim she is being discriminated against because she is single mom. And don’t excuse this as mental illness. She just wants to be a mom – and she just wants you to pay for it.
Only good that can come out of this is we can stop blaming irresponsible men for all the unwed mothers and their babies out there. I used to think that men who wouldn’t wear condoms were to blame for all the welfare moms. Now I see there are uber-selfish women out there like this who are to blame, too.
She also said all 14 are from the same donor. There was an article with picture of a guy (Solomon was the last name I think) who said he was taking responsibility for the first 6. If the same donor for all, I don’t see why not responsibility for all 14. He wasn’t an anonymous sperm bank donor. He is culpable as well.
I read somewhere that the sperm donor of the 6 children had requested that she not use anymore of his banked sperm, but she and the doctor disregarded his input.
I think legally, once he donates his sperm, it’s out of his hands. Generally he wouldn’t even be aware of who was using his sperm. I’m assuming this was the usual situation, where the mother picked the donor out of a book, based on the descriptions of his looks and his family’s health history and what he is majoring in (they’re usually college students).
But he must have been told, probably because it was the same woman each time, and she was trying to give birth to whole city. I don’t think he is liable for the care of the children (not judging by my knowledge of sperm banks), so it actually seems to speak very well of him that he is stepping forward to do so.
This woman is a disgrace. I didn’t have kids and it’s too late. I was busy working. I didn’t think that I could do both effectively so I made a choice. Maybe not the best one, but the one that worked for me. I don’t regret it, as I have a rich, full life. But the fact that I have to pay for these irresponsible women, with no common sense, makes me puke. This needs to stop. No wonder China does what it does.
Given that the vast majority of women who have an abortion only have 1 in their many years of fertility, clearly abortion is not being used “as birth control.” If it were, the average women would have about 10 abortions. Since this is not the case then the idea that women use it as birth control is quite patently false (not to mention insulting to women). As far as the rest of your post is concerned, it is not coherent. Why should unborn babies who were the result of rape have less humanity then those conceived “irresponsibly?” Also, should women have a crystal ball that they look into before they get pregnant and then choose to give birth so that they can know if they are going to have health problems? If this isn’t possible then a heath exemption would be pointless given that the women cannot possibly always predict their health. Finally, what do you suggest that we do to insure that men have their say–investigate all sex that results in a child? What if the woman says no baby and the man says yes? Force her to remain pregnant? What if her health fails and she dies as a result? Does the man then get the baby? How nice for him if not for her. Don’t you think that this is giving way too much power to the State?
This woman appears mentally deficient, and totally unprepared for the assignment of caring for 8 infants. Something will have to give, either the older 6 will suffer from lack of attention from mom, and take it out on the 8 younger ones, or the 8 will suffer in some other way.
Even for a two-parent family this would be challenging. I don’t even see how she can go shopping, run errands, manage a household, get the kids ready for school, or feed the brood. She doesn’t even have the right living conditions for this new, expanded family.
And the video does not even show any preparation to receive the 8 newborns.
Interesting note, daycare facilites require at least a 1:4 ratio of adults to children. This isn’t even close.
Why isn’t the doctor who implanted her being made to pay support for these children, after all, he implanted her with them all! seems to me she isn’t the only irresponosible one here.
My husband abd I decided early in our marriage that we only wanted 2 children and that’s all we had.Both boys and healthy. Through all these years we struggled at times and we both held full time jobs!But we made sure our boys wer taken care of and most important, they knew they were loved. How is this woman going to to raise all these kids? I imagine how much of a strain it is for her parents. It’s not fait to them. It makes me so angry when someone can just purposely reproduce like this with no means to care for them. Did she think she would recieve more government money? There are so many couples out there that can’t have children of their own and could give them the care and LOVE they deserve. How about the older kids/ Will they now fee forgotten? There are so many questions. I just hope Childrens services keeps a close watch on them.
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