The Porker Prize for the Most Outrageous Earmark Goes to…

I’ll be honest upfront with my opinion. I see them as little parasites made from hijacked taxpayer dollars that members of Congress attach to totally unrelated bills for the purpose of impressing their own constituents. President Obama rallied against the considerable flab involved, but signed the 2009 omnibus spending bill anyway, with 9,309 (representing 7.7 billion dollars) little money suckers clinging to it.

I examined this long list of earmarks, searching for the most outrageous use of our “taxation without representation” at a time when millions are watching their jobs, homes, and retirement nest eggs disappear.

The first contestant was $200,000 for “tattoo removal” (Woodland Hills, CA). However, it’s not quite as nutty as it sounds. The idea is to remove gang and jailhouse marks for those who presumably want to try walking a more positive life path. However, Woodland Hills is hardly a bastion of gangs and crime compared to other parts of the San Fernando Valley. Yet I decided to let it pass.

Same for the 1.7 million for—ironically–controlling hog-created odors (Iowa). Jokes are being passed around about this one. But, if you have ever visited a hog farm you already know that an aroma exists that can cause you to hurl your cookies right where you stand. So, pig stench research didn’t rise to my level of “outrageous.”

The clear winner is a 5.8 million vanity project (one of the higher priced earmarks) to further bloat the ego of Senator Edward Kennedy. Whether you like him or not, you are supporting the Edward M. Kennedy Institute for the Senate (Boston, MA). Matt Viser writing for the Boston Globe, described the project status as of last August:

Senator Edward M. Kennedy and several of his closest friends have accelerated plans to build an institute near the John F. Kennedy Library that will be dedicated to research and education about the US Senate and that will use Kennedy’s lengthy political career as a case study.

The group has formed a nonprofit organization, the Edward M. Kennedy Institute for the United States Senate, and is planning an aggressive fund-raising campaign that aims to raise at least $50 million and will be spearheaded by prominent Boston businessman Jack Connors.

Actual designs have not been drawn, but officials envision a 40,000-square-foot building, with construction beginning as early as spring 2009.

It is also clear that the original plan called for private donors to finance this project.

Connors said that in the spring, about two weeks before the senator’s cancer diagnosis, Kennedy called and asked him to head up a fund-raising effort. Connors has held several meetings to identify about two dozen “precinct captains” who will raise money. So far, the fund-raising group includes John Sasso, a veteran Democratic consultant; Thomas P. Glynn, the chief operating officer of Partners HealthCare; John Fish, president of Suffolk Construction Co.; and Kenneth R. Feinberg, a Washington lawyer and former Kennedy aide who ran the September 11th Victim Compensation Fund.

Connors said the group is also considering tapping Kennedy’s colleagues in the US Senate, asking them to call key political donors in their home state to raise money for the institute.

In the meantime Kennedy’s friends and former staffers had already collected 20 million from drug companies, hospitals, and insurance companies, which raises some ethical questions for Timothy Noah , writing for Slate. Senator Kennedy will be a central figure in President Obama’s health care plan. Might these donors expect favors?

Many of us admire the positive accomplishments of Senator Kennedy and are sorry he is so ill. But we didn’t volunteer to donate to his pre-memorial project. We are being forced into it when most of us have other desperate priorities. That’s what makes this earmark such a cheap trick to pull on us during such grave times.

The President says he is opposed to earmarks that sneak in, sometimes literally during the night, to raid our treasure.

The future demands that we operate in a different way than we have in the past,” Mr. Obama told reporters before signing the bill in private. “So let there be no doubt: this piece of legislation must mark an end to the old way of doing business and the beginning of a new era of responsibility and accountability that the American people have every right to expect and demand.

Well, he caved this year. Let’s watch same time next year.

I end by noting that many, probably most, earmarks are not inherently evil. They say they will help repair roads and bridges, remodel museums, fund programs for children, and the like. (See them all for yourself here .)

But the whole process stinks in my book. There has to be a better way for states and districts to get federal aid for truly necessary projects that does not involve draining blood out of major congressional bills.