Suspected Radical Republican bees infiltrate the White House grounds
By Uppity Woman on April 17, 2009 at 2:55 PM in Michelle Obama
The Hill reports that a swarm of bees was discovered in Michelle’s Victory Garden. The Hill reports this as a benign incident, but Uppity knows better and has her own report below.
Note: For those with no sense of humor or those with an MA over CA times 100 that is lower than three digits, the following piece is satire.
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A recent swarm of honey bees in Michelle’s Victory Garden led to a Homeland Security investigation to determine if the bees are Republican bees. The ornery bees were not carrying any bee signs, but they were rather hostile and therefore the potential that they were Right Wing Extremist Bees led to the intense investigation. Homeland Security Director Napolitano even made an appearance encased in netting, which seemed appropriate on so many levels.
Homeland security swarmed upon the swarm and a bee-swat team was dispatched. Three of the bees stung Homeland Security agents and were immediately arrested and charged with treason.
Luckily, Charlie Brandt, the White House carpenter (they have one of those?), is also a beekeeper who will be looking after two hives in Michelle Obama’s White House garden. Decked out in protective gear, Brandt coaxed the queen bee into a cardboard box. Most of the worker bees dutifully followed.
They followed the Queen Bee. Now that’s leadership. That’s why they had to kill her and blame her for the entire incident.
It was not revealed whether or not these bees were Carpenter Bees, but since the White House is fully exempt from hiring Union Carpenters, it doesn’t matter and the White House Carpenter has no grievance over the demand that he manage bees.
The Queen bee was killed, but she was just a female so nobody feels very bad about that. It had to be done. Obviously she was a superior leader and we can’t have female leaders getting any traction even in the bee world. That would make all the mediocre male bees feel inadequate even though that’s exactly what they are, considering they can’t make a single decision without their Queen.
The remaining bees were finally released when it was discovered that they weren’t Republicans at all. They were only harmless illegal undocumented foreign worker bees that had come here to take jobs away from Imperialist American bees.
ACORN was called in to force the remaining bees to register Democratic, and the bees were relocated into a nearby foreclosed home where they are currently wandering aimlessly because they lost their Queen. They were also given social security numbers of dead Americans and a number at the Department of Social Services to call in the morning. Walmart has also inquired as to whether they care to be employed in their Chinese honey factory and 12 members of congress have attempted to hire them for pollination positions at their palatial estates.
The Taliban sent a group letter to the White House praising them for the execution of the Woman Bee.
(Release: November 13)
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John Ziegler, the documentarian who released a film that showed the media bias against Palin, was arrested at USC for trying to question Katie Couric about her biased reporting. Mind you, Couric is not a politician, not even anyone important……but he got arrested for trying to question her.
And on top of this, anyone with a right wing bent, according to the DHS, including veterans, is an “extremist”.
Anyone against the corrupt lying Usurper will be rounded up and arrested.
Good bye to our freedoms. And you thought you lived in a free country?
It won’t be long before those Bees are labelled as racist. I bet the light colored Bees attack the other Black Bees.
On another note:
Those Northeast Liberals and Washington Elite who’ve never been on a Camping trip would see a little insect as torture. A real man or woman from the Midwest or Alaska knows what it’s like in a tiny camp with mosquiotos and other bugs all around out in the wild woods. I am not amaze they are outraged that a harmless catepillar may/maynot have been used to torture Al Zabayda. But when men, women and children are beheaed by these tyrants that just part of their peaceful religion and culture.
KmX, you probably need some entomology (study of insects) since you think being afraid of them is a joke. If there’s a joke here at all, it’s on those who devised this method of torture.
FARC Killers – Not Terrorits.
US Veterans – Terrorists.
After his death (FARC leader Raul Reyes) Colombian forces raided his FARC camp and found two computers that belonged to the terrorist mastermind. The Colombian government later released reports on the contents of these FARC computers. One file on the computer discussed Barack Obama:
The gringos will ask for an appointment with the minister to solicit him to communicate to us his interest in discussing these topics. They say that the new president of their country will be Obama and that they are interested in your compatriots. Obama will not support “Plan Colombia” nor will he sign the TLC (Colombian Free Trade agreement).
It appears that democrats were associating with FARC terrorists even before the election.
And, now these FARC killers are no longer considered terrorists. Funny how that works.
So, who are the real terrorists?
According to the Obama Administration, US veterans returning from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are the real concern.
The DHS memo released this week repeatedly warns of our military vets being terrorists. This is despite the fact that Napolitano has forbade the use of the term Islamist terrorist or Muslim terrorist within the Department of Homeland Security.
Change!
I wonder how all those republicans who crossed over to vote for Obama against Hillary in the primaries feel now? At least I can go down to my grave saying, I did not vote for Bush 1, 2 or 3/B-Obama! And I won’t be around when the full brunt of what they have done to the U.S.A. become too obvious to ignore or spin.
Actually, Limbaugh had his listeners enlisted in Operation Chaos to vote FOR Mrs. Clinton.
Doc99 wrote:
I don’t dispute what you say, and I am aware that this was the “announced” plan, to vote for Hillary because the Republicans find her so loathsome, it was believed her nomination would bring out the party faithful in droves.
However, I have long believed that asking Republicans to vote for Hillary, even as a lark or sabotage, runs so against the grain of these Republicans as to be abhorrent. Kind of like asking two hetero men to kiss. Not gonna happen.
I suspect that many of those who registered Democrat as Rush’s behest couldn’t bring themselves to do it, out of fear she would win! So I think they voted for the guy they thought was guaranteed to lose. In their thinking, that would be the black guy.
Too bad it didn’t work out that way.
Anything is possible. However, at the time Limbaugh came up with this idea, the GOP primary was over & Obama was leading in the Dem primary. The reason Limbaugh asked people to vote for Clinton was to prolong the Dem primary & make the Dems spend more money before the general election.
Steve, Limbaugh was angry because McCain got the Republican nomination. He said he wouldn’t support McCain. Coulter and James Dobson said they would never support McCain. He WAS NOT trying to energize the base to turn out against Hillary. Get your facts straight. Coulter said she would vote for Hillary over McCain. Operation Chaos was directed at the Republican Party.
Do you listen to Rush Elise? I seriously doubt it. Operation Chaos was all about keeping it a horse race(or donkey race), the idea being to create an escalating battle that would not only be expensive and contentious, but entertaining as well. as long as Clinton trailed, Rush advised Republicans to vote for her to keep it close. How on earth could you possibly believe it was directed towards the Republican Party?
andrew,
Ann Coulter saying she wouldn’t vote for McCain.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuTqgqhxVMc
Limbaugh screaming he won’t vote for McCain.
http://www.amnation.com/vfr/archives/009729.html
Dobson saying he would never vote for McCain.
http://tpmelectioncentral.talkingpointsmemo.com/2008/02/dobson_i_will_never_support_mc.php
I don’t care what Limbaugh claimed after the conventions. He was very angry that the GOP would even consider McCain and equally angry about Guiliano. He plays stupid games and “ditto” heads go along because they can’t think their way out of a paper bag, hence the name. Whatever his his stated intention after the conventions, he began Operation Chaos in a snit and had a temper tantrum to teach the GOP a lesson. He insults his fans with his idiotic stunts to keep his ratings up and they don’t understand he has them better trained than the new dog at the White House.
Spam filter took my post.
andrew, here’s Ann Coulter saying she would vote for Hillary before she would vote for McCain,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuTqgqhxVMc
Limbaugh saying he would not support McCain.
http://www.amnation.com/vfr/archives/009729.html
James Dobson saying he would never vote for McCain. Can’t get the link to post.
I don’t care what he claims now, Limbaugh was in a snit and threw a temper tantrum because McCain won the nomination His fans can’t think for themselves so he calls them “ditto heads”. He insults them, but they are masochists and keep listening to him telling them they are stupid. No, I don’t listen to his program, andrew. I read the news, read nq and, recently, watch FOX news.
I listen to Rush 2-3 times a week and not for his entire show….and I can assure you I AM NOT A MASOCHIST. I don’t know why people want to box people in to a stereotype.
I certainly don’t agree w everything Rush Limbaugh says and he is not my only source of information by far. But I like to get an overall view of things not like some people who are too afraid to expand their tiny brain. He is very intelligent and he does have alot of information.
I have always been a moderate and can see both sides of the aisle. I think when people can’t, they are missing out.
I was driving to work (around 1993) and turned the radio on and happened on his program. I listened for a few minutes and he used the word, “feminazi” to describe a woman. I guess that’s all I really have to say except that he calls you a ditto head just as he does all his fans.
I’m glad you’ve had a chance to insult, stereotype, and defame Rush and his listeners. I hope you feel better. But none of your rant adresses or supports your claim that Operation Chaos was directed toward the Republican Party. In fact your whole post is a non sequitur. You’ve simply revealed your HUGE blindspot regarding Conservatives in general, and Rush specifically. It is bizarre that you write something with the attitude that you’re an authority on Rush, then you admit that you never listen to him. How many other subjects have you written about with the facade of expertise, that you know absolutely nothing about?
andrew, take four aspirins and go to bed.
Change they can deceive in…
MSLSD will dedicate an entire evening covering the extreme buzzers. “Are they teabagging the tulips?”
Uppity, I just want to say I really like the satire. You have a gift for this.
she is gifted all right.that.s why we love her so much..
Lordy, woman, you are funny! Loved the story.
Gee, I didn’t know bees hate black people…
/snark
But clearly this has to be Bush’s and the failed policiies of the last 8 years’ fault…
Very good satire!
I suppose if the bees had just turned over all their honey and promised to give any future honey as well, they might’ve been allowed to go back to work.
Uppity, only you can write this! Welcome back.
Hysterical! Bravo!
I loved the story
And so true!
Excellent post Uppity! Love your sense of humor!
OMG, too perfect Uppity!
Tea and Bees at the White House. Do you thihk mother nature is trying to remind them this was the Brits who started this and they better not forget it? You know Tea and Honey….Bags and Bees.
But, you sure Me-chelle took this so well? You mean she didn’t try to call them Racist Bees? That she never recalled a Bee infiltration during the Bush and Clinton years?
Can’t BEE.
Maybe Janeane Garofalo hasn’t heard about this, from what I hear, like again on the Tea Parties, it’s her favorite thing to do now, call everyone racist or racism if she doesn’t like what’s going on.
Maybe the Bees are trying to tell her, if she can’t take care of the Queens house, she can’t take care of the White House.
And you can Bee sure, Me-chelle was not happy about this and declared, there is only 1 Queen B in this house at a time, when she ordered the Queen B’s execution, when the males gladly agreed, as they twoo can nly handle one B at a time and already suffer from piston dysfunction.
btw, my hubby is waiting on the Bo Doggy to do the first bite on Me-chelle.
Stop over to my blog and see what I have to say about the First Dog.
OMG, YES! Spot on! U R gOOD lady.
And yes, you are so right about the trainer and the humans actually being the one needing trained to keep the dog in line. When they see the human not leading, they will run circles around their humans.
And, Sorry, but u know Me-chelle can not be bothered. Heck, she even had to have her Mother come to DC to raise her daughters, she can’t even do that, so do you really expect she will give that kind of time for a dog she probably didn’t even want?
And…speaking of her mother raising her daughters, don’t even get me started about the smallest of time I watch them, Easter Roll day (no Me-chelle, not Egg Hunt) and she had to put down her daughter like she did in front of the world. “No, we aren’t having tennis, we are having events ON the tennis court” That wasn’t enough to answer, the Bi had to add “the peanut gallery back here”.
Indeed Me-chelle, tell the girls how they don’t matter. And did anyone catch the little girls face after that?
Linda…
I, too, will NEVER forgive ME-chelle back in the beginning of hte primary when she was giving a speech to Chicago business women, her hair in a kind of pony-tail a la upwardly mobile washer-woman yelling with absolutely no class nor grace nor intelligence…
“She [Hillary] couldn’t even clean her own house; how can she clean the White House”!!
and NEVER will I gorget the glee and atrociously vindictive, MEAN smile when she introduced Hillary at the State function of awarding the International Women of Courage award…
“SECRETARY CLINTON….GOD, HOW I LOVE SAYING THIS…SECRETARY…”
SHAME ON MECHELE!!!May the bees bite her bare arms and bare…..x First affirmative action Lady in town,eh?! (and Harvard!)
I read your post on “first dog”, uppity. I had some impressions similar to yours when I saw the pics the first time. Bo may have been trying to get away. I must have missed the one of Malia smiling. They all looked uncomfortable to me, but I also hope one of the girls will bond with him. Thanks for the info about this breed. I knew nothing about them and heard the other day they have webbed feet and love the water. This satire was great. Bees are the enemy of the state.
Uppity Woman
You rock, girl! love your blog….
Thanks for the laugh, Uppity! You know there has been an invasion in certain areas of the country of africanized bees. From what I hear, they are fiercely mean.
The only Africanized killer B that I’m aware of, took control of the White House Jan. 20 ‘09.
She’s simply the best!
I mean the most capable and experienced candidate at that time – our present SOS.
LOL…great post Uppity as usual…..
thanks for the heads up about your post for BO, the 4 legged dog. I totally agree w you…anyone who is in their 40’s and never had a pet, apparently is not an animal person and shouldn’t be one.
Uppity
Thanks. This was a much-needed break from the vaudeville act that passes as ‘white house news’!
Queen bee was killed so the mediocre male bees could run amok with the porkbarelling and civil service jobs…Wonder if Mechelle got bitten on her bare-as-her-brains arms. She probably killed the queen bee herself with her poisoned tongue.
more…we need to laugh at the white house vaudeville act!…