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Are you overweight? Get ready to be the next global warming, energy and health care target

Your government is getting ready to tell you a bit more loudly that if you are overweight, you are to blame for energy waste and Global Warming, which are caused by cars, smoking unless it’s the president, living, cow farts, inhaling, exhaling, driving to work 30 miles away, cooking, heating your home in winter, turning on a light food production.

In fact, did you know that if you eat tomatoes, you suck because they are not energy efficient? No kidding. Tomatoes don’t give back as much as they take. They are a very selfish vegetable that shouldn’t be allowed to contribute to ice cap melting caused by food production. In fact, one author thinks tomatoes and anything else that takes too much energy to grow should be priced accordingly.

Tomato production in the US consumes four times as many calories as the calorific value of the tomatoes created

(Photo of sucky tomato)

tomato22

So if you eat tomatoes, you are a problem, even if you aren’t obese. Thin people who eat tomatoes suck too. Ironically, tomatoes aren’t fattening, but you still suck if you eat them, even if you aren’t overweight. Stop it.

And If you are overweight, you eat too much but not as much as Michael Phelps and contribute to that bane of Climate known as food production. Food production is bad and it causes Global Warming. Stop it.

It’s your turn. Because everybody is going to get a turn unless you are a Congressperson or a Senator. Then you can eat all the tomatoes you want and be as fat as you please. But for now, it’s your turn if you are overweight. Furthermore, you are about to join smokers in being a resented problem related to the cost of health care. You are also more dependent on cars, therefore you use too much gasoline. Skinny people use bicycles even in the middle of winter.

Oh My…. more bad news for those (34% of Americans) who are obese.

In a study released by researchers at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine scientists found that overweight people emit more carbon emissions than slim people, because they consume more food and fuel.

The study pointed a finger at the increased demand for livestock production for meat. Cows emit toxic methane. The research also sited higher dependency on cars as a contributing factor.

…snip…

“The heavier our bodies become the harder and more unpleasant it is to move about in them and the more dependent we become on our cars.”

nov-season-eatingMake no mistake. Your Caring Congress and Senate are about to declare you a Public Health hazard if you have those extra pounds. Bet you thought your turn wouldn’t come eh? Your carbon footprint is too damned big. Not as big as Al Gore’s, with his airplane and mansion, but nevermind. Eating is over-rated. Take up something else, like maybe drinking or drugs or something. Whatever, just so long as you get thin.

LONDON (Reuters) – Overweight people eat more than thin people and are more likely to travel by car, making excess body weight doubly bad for the environment, according to a study from the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine.

“When it comes to food consumption, moving about in a heavy body is like driving around in a gas guzzler,” and food production is a major source of greenhouse gases, researchers Phil Edwards and Ian Roberts wrote in their study, published in the International Journal of Epidemiology.

“We need to be doing a lot more to reverse the global trend toward fatness, and recognize it as a key factor in the battle to reduce (carbon) emissions and slow climate change,” the British scientists said.

They estimated that each fat person is responsible for about one tonne of carbon dioxide emissions a year more on average than each thin person, adding up to an extra one billion tonnes of CO2 a year in a population of one billion overweight people.

Just to help you along, a “Sweet tax” is being bantered around. Because your government doesn’t care about the revenue or anything, they just care about you. Right?

A penny-per-ounce tax on sugary drinks could help fight obesity by cutting consumption and raising billions of dollars to help state and local governments pay for programs, two experts said on Wednesday

—-snip—-

This could help offset some of the costs that drinking too many soft drinks has imposed on society, they said.

“The contribution of unhealthful diets to healthcare costs is already high and is increasing — an estimated $79 billion is spent annually for overweight and obesity alone — and approximately half of these costs are paid by Medicare and Medicaid, at taxpayers’ expense,” they wrote.

“Sugar-sweetened beverages may be the single largest driver of the obesity epidemic,” they added.

“For each extra can or glass of sugared beverage consumed per day, the likelihood of a child’s becoming obese increases by 60 percent.”

But whatever you do, don’t stop eating sweets once this tax is imposed. If you do, your government will have to find another thing to tax. Like sleeping. Or flushing your toilet. Or eating, period. In fact, we could all save the planet right now if we would all stop exhaling and just shoot ourselves in the head and get rid of our carbon footprint entirely. Of course, this won’t stop the delivery of Wagyu beef to the White House.

Barring that, don’t worry. Monsanto is going to come up with acceptable special genetically altered mutant things for you to eat right after they put small farmers out of business via Rep DeLauro’s bill, HR 875. Ms DeLauro is the wife of a Monsanto consultant, but I wouldn’t want you to think that has anything to do with it. This will also move along a lot faster now that Monsanto’s guy took over the USDA. But don’t worry, it will taste just like real food! Organic gardening is so over-rated! Especially the tomatoes!

While it’s true that America has a lot of obese people, it would be really nice if they studied how many of them are poor unlike Ted Kennedy and are forced to eat cheaply, which means plenty of carbs–which can cause obesity. But nevermind. We can just kill them all and convert them into an alternative energy source or something, right?

In the meantime, I am sure somebody in our government is studying how in Japan, people get weighed regularly and can lose their jobs if they go above their optimal weight. Bet you think I’m bullcrapping you, right? Wrong.

Corporate Japan will join the country’s battle against bulging waistlines next month with the introduction of compulsory “flab checks” for the over-40s and penalties for firms that fail to bring their employees’ weight under control

……snip……

According to reports, firms will be required to cut the number of overweight workers and their dependants by 10% by 2012. Those that fail to reach the targets face surcharges of up to 10% on contributions to a welfare fund for the elderly.

Now I know that would be unconstitutional here if you still have a job, but that silly constitution is nothing but an annoyance anyways. Why keep it?

Here’s MeMe Roth of Meddlers and Zealots Anonymous teaching NOAA minding your own business for you, equating eating to smoking, and teaching others how to create Eating Disorders in children after they start sneaking the treats. Just so you know the food-mirror-image of the anti-smoking, anti-gay, anti-anything you do that I don’t do lobby is on its way to your theater soon.

Embedding disabled. LOL. Here’s the link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72ScWxTxEQQ

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RSS Feed for This Post47 Comments »

Comment by Eleven | 2009-04-23 20:52:46

Yet the president and his “entourage” just burned tons and tons of jet fuel to go to Iowa to give a speech about conserving energy on earth day.

 

Comment by andrew 191 | 2009-04-23 21:01:21

You mean, the movie “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes” was prescient? I’ll have to cancell my order for the upside down tomato thingy.

Comment by Diana | 2009-04-24 13:50:42

lol I’m getting a couple of those things too! I love my tomatoes. I like tomato and cucumber sandwiches. I like plain tomato sandwiches. I also like fried tomato’s with ranch dressing.

Thank you Uppity for the hilarious article. These people are slowly becoming their own worse enemies. Soon no one will take them serious. This is what happens with these nuts though. We’ve saw it happen with many great organizations. They start out fighting for a good cause then decide to carry it to extremes, with the original cause becoming nothing but a past memory.

 
 

Comment by Northwest rain | 2009-04-23 21:01:42

Yep let’s all raise the temperature in our homes to TROPICAL LEVELS.

And let’s eat expensive imported food — at tax payer’s expense. We have an opened ended budget — so let’s play the uke while Rome or whatever burns.

That’s what happens when a hapa hoale con’s his way into the white house.

(hapa hoale — more or less half white type person — hoale generally refers to da kine whites in Hawaii. Hapa is pidgen English for “half”.)

So we got one skinny hapa hoale living in da kine big house/white house — who used to be a fat dumb kid.

What can we expect from hateful intellectual slobs who inhabit da kine hoale house??

 

Comment by jbjd | 2009-04-23 21:02:38

Smoking is already prohibited, by law, in all federal buildings. But as if BO’s‘warning’ to the credit card companies not to amend credit terms to borrowers without advance notice weren’t sham enough, as part of this story, the news just showed a still photograph of a staffer handing BO the folder containing ‘10 letters from voters’ – ostensibly containing complaints about these interest increases and other issues – and BO holding the open folder, considering its contents, lit cigarette firmly lodged between his fingers.

 

Comment by Docelder | 2009-04-23 21:03:14

I am sorry, but some of these people are non-apologetically socialist communist Marxist fascistic. Where does this political correctness end? When do we start needing to justify the very space we take on this planet? Where do we get a license to convert food into energy and air into CO2? How much is a breathing permit? and how much is it going to cost us? Finally, who died and left these guys boss anyway?

 

Comment by Peggy Sue | 2009-04-23 21:09:41

Another good one, Uppoty. Made me laugh. I saw this woman on TV the other night, Roth, the one in the vid. She was ridiculous. In fact, I cannot understand how you can spew such nonsense with a straight face.

This line really made me choke on my coffee:

“In fact, we could all save the planet right now if we would all stop exhaling and just shoot ourselves in the head and get rid of our carbon footprint entirely.”

I sometimes think that’s exactly what the environmentalist/behavior control freaks would prefer. Humans are parasites on Mother Earth. If we would simply all die, the planet could be healthy and perfect.

Nuts!

Comment by Peggy Sue | 2009-04-23 21:16:04

Make that “Uppity.” Sorry :0)

 
 

Comment by ccwarrior | 2009-04-23 21:10:00

The Obama administration is asking the Supreme Court to overrule long-standing law that stops police from initiating questions unless a defendant’s lawyer is present, another stark example of the White House seeking to limit rather than expand rights. http://countusout.wordpress.com/

Comment by tminu | 2009-04-24 07:52:21

This is OT but important, a new thread?
He’s setting the stage for police intimidation and thuggery of vulnerable defendants.

He REQUESTED this, specifically. He sure has thug mentality deeply ingrained!

Comment by tminu | 2009-04-24 08:01:30

This is so when he imposes martial law police action can be swift vindictive and oppressive.

 
 
 

Comment by WMCB | 2009-04-23 21:15:55

I saw some idiot on the news the other night arguing that utility bills would not go up because of cap and trade, because people wpuld be forced to use less energy, ergo the bills would go back down.

Moron. People already living on fixed incomes, and already turning their thermostats down to shivering level in winter CAN’T turn them down anymore.

 

Comment by CJ | 2009-04-23 21:17:57

The whole time I read this post, all I could picture was Rob Reiner and Michael Moore!

Comment by Jackarooty | 2009-04-23 23:44:07

Sigh, I’m going to sit on a bare wooden chair in a darkened room until I die.

 
 

Comment by Ani | 2009-04-23 21:29:03

Uppity, you rock! roflmao, and the tears are rolling.

Why does everything have to be an industry? It would be so nice if somebody were honestly looking out for the health and welfare of the American people without preaching or profiting. Silly me.

 

Comment by I'm a Linda too | 2009-04-23 21:55:18

OMG, Uppity. Am I supposed to say thank you for this post?

Now they’re picking (no pun) on my tomatoes, too?

DEMOCRATS…ENUF IS ENUF….Gee, Howei, when you coined that phrase with bumper stickers in 06, I didn’t realize that was warning us what was to come.

ENUF IS ENUF

Apparently these folks don’t understand how democracy works in every area. You know…some are more in one area, less in another and together it balances out. I don’t eat meat, but I sure eat my tomatoes and now that my kitchen is done, I plan n eating a LOT more, because I will now be making my own pasta to put those damn tomatoes on, GOT IT?

And for warm up, I’m having pasta and sauce for dinner tonight…but I’ll compromise, on my salad it will be just greens and no tomatoes, OK?

Comment by Uppity Woman | 2009-04-23 23:30:11

Linda, I personally plan to pull all my ungrateful tomato plants out from the roots. Just as soon as Haley’s Comet rolls around again. As for you and your tomato habit, why you are obviously nothing more than an shameless environmental hazard. Can’t you trade this awful tomato habit for something safer like drugs? Do you realize that a polar bear’s life is in danger every time you ingest a sucky tomato?

Comment by Docelder | 2009-04-23 23:33:11

I think we all ought to get topsy turvy’s just to stick it to the man. ;)

 

Comment by Jackarooty | 2009-04-23 23:38:29

UW,
I was planning to buy those Topsy Turvy tomato planters…DAYUMN!

 

Comment by I'm a Linda too | 2009-04-24 08:02:53

lmao I’m speechless!

Hey, have you ever noticed how many environmentalists and extreme lefties LOVE THEIR MEAT? And something tells me their add a lot of tomatoes to their diet to help counter their carcinogenic habit with the lycopenes. THEY ARE AN ABSOLUTE ENVIRONMENTAL HAZARD!

These folks who utter this nonsense should be embarrassed even breathing in between speaking these words.

 
 

Comment by I'm a Linda too | 2009-04-23 23:33:36

And I’m not very good with pulling legs, and I’d feel guilty if you didn’t know I wass pulling your leg about the post.

But I would like to add…….my TOMATO SAUCE WAS ABSOLUTELY DELIC! :)

Comment by Uppity Woman | 2009-04-24 07:32:05

Yes I did know Linda:)

 
 
 

Comment by Craig Della Penna | 2009-04-23 22:26:40

“Soylent Green is Peepul!” Aiiieeee!!!

 

Comment by felizarte | 2009-04-23 22:30:20

I wonder how long before the reasoning descends to: “Democracy allows people to act in ways that contribute to global warning and should be abolished.

Comment by Texas Gal | 2009-04-23 22:42:13

Or they’ll build a huge bubble over us all and start “deleting” us a la Logan’s Run.

 
 

Comment by Baba Rum Raisin | 2009-04-23 22:31:11

If course there is NO carbon impact from:

Idiots
Fools
Liars
Drunks
Junkies
Serial Welfare Whelpers

All THESE conditions are “disorders” and “diseases” and not the fault of the oxygen thieves who suffer from them. Those persons should be “understood” and to criticize them is “judgmental.” And, as a Society, we must tax ourselves to rehabilitate them.

First they came for the SUV’s, but I didn’t drive one, so I did nothing.

Then they came for the Smokers, but I wasn’t a Smoker, so I did nothing.

Next they came for people who like Chinese food, but I rarely eat any Chinese food, so I did nothing.

At last, they came for the Chubbies…

 

Comment by TeakwoodKite | 2009-04-23 22:41:15

Great balls of fire Uppity!

I just planted tomatos this year! Darn.

So much for my Buddha belly. :)

 

Comment by Eastan | 2009-04-23 22:41:22

I think people, like me, who comment on your articles should be taxed for wasting electrons. Somebody had to make the electricity for me to send this.

No. Let’s do is another way. Let’s blame the people who gave me the power to do this and, if they did not contribute to Obama, tax them.

Yea. That’s the ticket.

Uppity. You are one of a kind. I always look forward to your work. You make me think: “..well”

Now.. now.. ah.. ahm.. I’m thinking..

Comment by Eastan | 2009-04-23 22:43:07

Fix “let’s do is” to “let’s do it..

in the road.

No one will be watching us.

 

Comment by Uppity Woman | 2009-04-24 00:24:03

Thank you Eastan. You shameful hazardous tomato eater, you.

 
 

Comment by AX10 | 2009-04-23 23:10:06

I see the stereotypical coastalites have taken over now. These enviromental fundamentalists are risking a huge backlash against the environmental protection movement (which I support).

Tomatoes are good for ones health.

Comment by Uppity Woman | 2009-04-24 00:34:39

AX you and your health are expendible. Yes tomatoes are good for us, they just think that since that use more energy than they give back, they should be priced out of your range. But don’t worry, there will be plenty of tomatoes in the White House. Imagine what they must think of celery. Maybe they can arrange to grow 30 pound tomatoes. That way, more people could eat off of one tomato. Kind of like Time Share. I’m sure Monsanto will work on it.

Comment by Docelder | 2009-04-24 00:40:10

They will probably make a “chemical tomato” that is “superior” to natural tomatoes and which is more carbon neutral. Then twenty years later we can find out they cause cancer… the same year they figure out the CO2 was the only thing saving us from actual global disaster. Oh well who knew?

 

Comment by andrew 191 | 2009-04-24 00:42:15

What do you suppose 0bama’s position is on soylent green?

Comment by Docelder | 2009-04-24 00:45:04

Sure, old people, unlicensed babies and enemies of the state all recycled together for the common good.

Comment by andrew 191 | 2009-04-24 02:32:27

Sounds delicious!

 
 
 
 
 

Comment by Jackarooty | 2009-04-23 23:29:42

When the First Family introduced Bo the dog to the public, Obama mentioned that Portuguese water dogs love to eat tomatoes!

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…

 

Comment by Paula Revere | 2009-04-24 00:38:33

Does anyone else think that the Moonbats have gone just a tad off the rails yet? I mean, come on. This is frigging ridiculous. Great post Uppity, but I’m kinda scared about the mental well being of this country. WTF?

 

Comment by Baba Rum Raisin | 2009-04-24 02:23:41

Test Comment.

Had this been an actual comment, you would have received some useless information from…

 

Comment by Baba Rum Raisin | 2009-04-24 02:26:31

First they came for the smokers. But, since I had already Quit, I said nothing.

Then they came for Chinese Food Eaters. I never could make a decent Moo Goo Gai Pan, so I said nothing.

Next they came for the Tomatoes, but I said nothing, since I wasn’t a tomato.

Today they came for the Chubbies…

 

Comment by Katmoon | 2009-04-24 08:25:09

“I admit I am powerless over my addiction to tomatoes”…

ROFLMAO Well, it’s just a matter of time before the pomadoro police come a tap tap tappin on our door!

Comment by Uppity Woman | 2009-04-24 11:55:58

pomadoro police

OMG! ROFLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

 
 

Comment by BARB | 2009-04-24 11:04:02

Maybe HFCS is in part responsible for the increase in obesity and diabetes in this country:

http://www.knowthelies.com/?q=node/1409

Dangers of High Fructose Corn Syrup – HFCS
Submitted by SadInAmerica on Sat, 04/12/2008 – 11:19pm.

HFCS high fructose corn syrup is responsible for a dangerous epidemic of obesity and diabetes. People under the age of 45 are “children of the corn.” Like Stephen King’s thriller, they are reaping the consequences… of the food industry’s high fructose corn syrup.

(snip)

In a recent chemical analysis of eleven carbonated soft drinks sweetened with high fructose corn syrup (HFCS), researchers from Rutgers University found very high levels of reactive carbonyls.

Reactive carbonyls, which have been linked to tissue damage and complications of diabetes, are elevated in the blood of people with diabetes. A single can of soda, however, has five times that concentration of reactive carbonyls. Old-fashioned table sugar, on the other hand, has no reactive carbonyls.

 

Comment by margaret | 2009-04-24 12:00:29

Uppity, you have an unparalleled wit! Thanks for all the laughs in this piece. So many great lines but I especially love the part about creating eating disorders in kids by denying them treats. :) You are the best.

Comment by Uppity Woman | 2009-04-25 03:57:08

Thank you Margaret. Glad you enjoyed it.

 
 

Comment by Virginianwithoutapartynow | 2009-04-24 13:15:25

I think that what’s good for the fat goose is good for the skinny gander. If they are coming after the fatties for their consumption and emissions I suggest that they go after the marathon-running spinning-class skinnies too. Six-pack abs and size zero waists aren’t a requirement to be healthy. Dollars to donuts, or should I say carrot sticks, they eat more than their government-allotted calories because of their exercise addiction. And I imagine after all their exercise their emissions aren’t too great.

I also wonder what the costs of sports and exercise-related injuries are in this country…. A knee replacement is a knee replacement whether you need it from being fat or wore it down playing softball.

On a serious note, I really appreciate the comment about high fructose corn syrup. It is a booming industry and it seems that things that never used to be sweet now have HFCS in them – years of our tax dollars and politically-motivated subsidies at work. Maybe we should just blame Iowa – those corn lovers! Speaking of which, I didn’t think corn was so great for the environment either….

A few years ago ABC (under Peter Jennings) did something on food policy in this country. We have an ass backwards subsidy system. It really pisses me off to have the government running after me with calipers while at the same time taking my tax dollars and doling them out as subsidies and other breaks in an inverse fashion to the food pyramid that we are ordered to follow.

http://www.snagfilms.com/films/title/peter_jennings_reporting_how_to_get_fat_without_really_trying/

This is not to say that being healthy, weight and overall fitness, isn’t important and a personal responsibility. But…I’m tired of the blame game, demonization, looking for easy scapegoats, and mixed messages. This seems to be the norm about everything now.

 

Comment by Ciarda | 2009-04-25 15:42:11

It’s a funny commentary, but man that London “study” is so wrong. Obese people do not eat huge amounts of food, they actually eat less than those of average weight because they have low metabolism (meaning you get full quicker and hungry less often) It’s been suppressed by big Pharma, the diet industry, etc… but obese people who get moderate exercise, do not go on those destructive fad diets or get deadly “weight loss surgeries” the media (and even doctors now- paid off by the diet industry and big Pharma) hypes, and despite the hatred directed at them have good self-esteem, are actually healthier over the long term than even “normal weight” people. I’m a big lady but I only eat around 1,100 calories a day. I have low blood pressure, my cholesterol is okay, and my blood sugar is steady (it doesn’t spike after I eat, nor plunge if get so preoccupied with a hobby that I forget to eat a meal) and on the lower range of average. I’m not about to take something to boost my metabolism and screw up my body, thank you very much. The women in my family that lived the longest (maternal grandmother who lived to be almost 104, etc…) were just like me, big ladies that were healthy because we were comfortable with our bodies and knew better than any doctor on the tab of big Pharma, etc… what is healthy for our bodies.

 

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