Speaker Pelosi Limerick Contest
By RobWarrior on May 16, 2009 at 3:30 PM in Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, NoQuarter Radio, Nocturnal Warrior, President Barack Obama, Speaker Nancy Pelosi
It’s so hard to read one’s facial expressions when the face doesn’t move
It’s time to have some fun at the Speaker’s expense. I’ll go first.
Nancy was caught in a web of her lies.
The CIA hopes that she fries.
President Obama we trust
Will toss her under the bus.
And Steny can try on speaker for size.
Ok…one more from me…
For Obama she fixed the great race,
but then her fibs were so out of place.
She was hung out to dry
But we won’t see her cry.
Because her botox locked solid her face.
That’s enough from me. Feel free to add your own.
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O God–a limerick challenge–there goes the rest of my day–I’ll be back!
Okay, as threatened:
Nancy’s sweet smile was used to promote her,
Till with botox they decided to poke her–
Now in a cheshire-cat pose
It glows under her nose
And she looks much more like The Joker.
Nancy “Know Your Power” Pelosi…
Politically devious and nosey
When she lied about torture, the CIA exposed her
Now she and 0 are no longer cozy
Mrs. Pelosi, Madame Speaker,
Knew about torturing the weaker
The CIA spied it
And Nancy denied it
Now, I’d say, her future looks bleaker
or
Nancy Pelosi, oh, how she talks
She’s aware we used electric shocks
But she’s denied it
She’s done much to hide it
Like jabbing her forehead with Botox
Not exactly about Nancy but our little bot drones sent out to whine and obfuscate.
Obots run here and there.
They start internet fires and yell, “UNFAIR!”
Through their sour faux outrage,
They hope to turn Obama’s current page.
They to Obama they drop and sing, “HAIL!”
While the rest of us know
Obama is an EPIC FAIL!
Or:
To Obama they drop and sing, “HAIL!”
While the rest of us know,
Obama is an EPIC FAIL!
Pelosi is nothing more than a whore,
Her office bears this big sign on its door,
“This sign you may read,
But if you might need,
To enter its 10 billion dollars more.”
Why would you call her that word? I do not like or agree with Nancy anymore than the next person here. However, I really do not want to hear of another woman being refered to in that context. Even in play. This is what they did to both Hillary and Sarah Palin. I didn’t like it/find it funny then. I don’t like like it/find it funny now. I’m not trying to start an argument, it just bothers me to see it.
Pronunciation: \ˈhȯr, ˈhu̇r\
Function: noun
Etymology:
Middle English hore, from Old English hōre; akin to Old Norse hōra whore, hōrr adulterer, Latin carus dear — more at charity
Date: before 12th century
Definition:
1: a woman who engages in sexual acts for money : prostitute ; also : a promiscuous or immoral woman
2: a male who engages in sexual acts for money
3: a venal or unscrupulous person
Truly sorry you’re offended, but it’s my belief that the word applies perfectly. It’s quite descriptive of this administrations “pay to play” tactics and I’m of the opinion that being a woman doesn’t protect Nancy from calling her what she is.
You did not answer Diana’s question, putz.
Pelosi with her deep one eyes
Tries and tries to deny
What she did not hear it said
Scrambling to save her cred
She rousts the ire of the CIA
Still trying to pray at his altar,
Nancy’s woebegone lies see her falter.
Poor Nancy won’t last
As he’s done in the past,
Obama will let them assault her.
Here comes the bus; here comes the bus.
there once was a speaker pol hack
whose opinions on torture were whack.
and she looked as though nightly
her face was stretched tightly
upon that same torturer’s rack
LMAO!! that’s good…
Yep,that is a good one!
That was deep for a limerick. Love it!
Great one. You are de poet!
excellent
Pelosi told a lie
one she cannot hide
She’s full of shit
The fan it will hit
Her left wing antics are now fried
Okay – in actual limerick style…
There once was a lass named Nancy
Who tried to lie and be fancy
But the chill CIA wind blew
It told her she was through
Now she’s novel fodder for Tom Clancy
There was an old lady who’s spent
Who’s tail was so long that it bent
Both ways she could claim
She was pointing that thing
Til finally one day
She just went
..away, they’re coming to take her away.
he he ha ha
nancy pelosi, you sicken and gross me
out with your botoxed facade
you screwed over hillary
but now you’ll be pilloried
and banished, we hope, you big fraud.
Now you guys are getting the hang of it. Ignore the trolls and have fun!
There once was a lass from San Fran
Who’s face would scare any man
The Botox was shot
It didn’t help alot
Now she looks like she’s from Japan
Pelosi the Madame Speaker
Swore the CIA never briefed her
It was all CYA
Now she’s pissed off the CIA
And they will never forgive her
Well, mine is not really a limerick in the true form of a limerick. I just got going and had a hard time stopping. (Please be sure to check the orgiginal derivation of the word “pétard” because it adds some humor to it and I thought it was a great last word for her.
There once was a Nancy
Who thought she was fancy
With pearls always around her neck.
She set out one day to raise some heck
To please those latte libs–
Many of whom still need bibs
To catch the spills from the Kool Aid they drank–
Who had helped Ms Pelosi and Barney Frank
Send all the unannointed non-obots to pauperdom
(Which even their grandchildren could not escape from)
By passing for their new POTUS, Brand Obama,
His stimulus package major boondoggle scam-a.
She was so excited by her success
That onward she did press.
Her next goal was to get some payback
From the hateful GOP Bush/Cheney pack
Who never gave her abeyance or bowed
Or to her botoxed beauty kowtowed
(The way her dear POTUS did in Saudi Arabia
By nearly placing on the king’s feet his lying labia).
She finally screwed up her courage to accuse the CIA
(It was the courage that for three years had been MIA)
Of misleading her with fabrications
About what she claimed they claimed was the non-use of torturous machinations.
Alas! Alack! With many an excuse and many frustrated sighs
Ms. Nancy had underestimated the brave men and women who work as spies.
She had counted too much on her stooges in the MSM
To be too willing to bow down low and plant a kiss on the hem
Of her so wonderfully tailored clothes and give her “little fib” a pass.
(Could it be! Will fancy Ms. Nancy Pelosi land hard on her a**?)
Some are recovering from Kool Aid highs and know that they must
Do some journalism to earn back the public’s trust.
(It will be very, very hard, I know
For they have certainly sunk very low.)
Those whom she cheated in her own Party are not crying too hard
For this woman who may now be hoisted (with the CIA’s help) on her very own pétard.
MiGod, Diana, you’re channeling Alexander Pope!
I wish! We need him to write a Dunciad about these last few years.
There once was a witch from the west,
whose lies gave her botox a test.
she said with a strain, as her cheeks stretched in pain,
thank god I didn’t botox my chest.
Verily, chortle!
Hehe! I love limericks!
Shakespeare would be proud, HARP!
She said water boarding was torture
A practice she vowed she would abjure
But it turns out she knew
About poor wet Abu
And now she’s insisting on cloture
Excellent!
A speaker in a position of trust,
Should not with the CIA muss,
It won’t be long when,
The prez will say then,
OK Nance, get under the bus!
Enjoy the view, Nancy!!!!!
Nancy’s eyes have opened astronomically,
From her lifts done not so economically,
Now her face does not move,
Her expressions do not soothe,
And her lies come out almost comically.
What does she not like now about torture?
Maybe 2002 was a different culture?
Nancy, please leave the floor.
Can we show her the door?
Or should we put up a stake and torch her?
kato, these 2 and the 1 you did above–I think perhaps you were born in Limerick, province of Munster! Nice work!
Ahh,thanks.
From the town of men who sing Y-M-C-A
is a Nancy playing C-Y-A
Having told everyone the C-I-A Lied
Under the Obama bus now Nancy must Ride
you guys are good.lmao…
Oh goody. I am so happy to halp a broken bot. Nobody paid much attention to the first comment on this post so retyped it in for it.
Poor thing. Maybe it deserves a limerick too.
Jealous Nancy
There once was an insecure person Who resented more intelligent Clinton Could not handle the competition Chose to fix an undemocratic election Though 18,000,000 would she ever have won
Madame Speaker, your fake nose is growing
From all of the lies you’ve been sowing.
Now it’s time that you reap
What you’ve sown, so please keep
To yourself all those fits that you’re throwing.
(sorry about that, I’ll try again)
Jealous Nancy
There once was an insecure person
Who resented more intelligent Clinton
Could not handle the competition
Chose to fix an undemocratic election
Though 18,000,000 would she ever have won
There is no rhyme.
There is no reason
It’s simple, because she’s Nancy Pelosi.
Jealous Nancy
There once was an insecure person
Who resented more intelligent Clinton
Could not handle the competition
Chose to undermine the convention
Though 18,000,000 would she ever have won
A Speaker of plasticized looks
Joined forces with corrupt Chicago pol who wrote fake autobiographical books
For their evil nefarium, we’d all like to bury ‘em
But we can’t get them off Cheney’s hooks.
Pelosi can’t tell us the truth
To do so would mislead the youth!
With Code Pink on her side, yelling “Bush/Cheney Lied”
Her existence to me is uncouth.
The woman they call Madame Speaker
Is finding herself growing weaker
“I knew nothing!” she cried
Till we found out she lied
Now her future’s increasingly bleaker
Very good, LMAO!
There once was a tyrant from ‘Frisco
Who took a political risk-o,
Insulted the spooks
By calling them kooks,
Next job? Mopping floors at a disco.
There once was a very bad Speaker
Who forsook a fellow woman leader
Thus took competence off the table
For the messiah of a bamboozled fable
Now it’s a mess, pure manure, we’re slipping under
———————————
Nancy fell for the dope
Who snuck off to smoke
Who admires his pecks all over
Enhanced on Washingtonian’s cover
Whose hope for our nation… celebrity… no joke
The torture never stops:
Well, that’s too nice, isn’t it? Tried to fit “Rice-A-Roni” in there somewhere, but my brain synapses wouldn’t connect. And what the hell rhymes with Pelosi???
hypocrosy?
A little artistic license is allowed isn’t it?
Well heck yes–it’s not like the Limerick Police are going to pull us over and ask to see our stinking artistic licenses!
Ah soul cats, but one named Diana upthread tried.
But apparently the comment just choked and died
Since cool cat humor and artistic license divine
is most difficult to judge and define.
(riff of cool Dave Brubeck jazz in the background)
How about she’s gross to me?
comatosee
Has anyone seen truth teller? Is he or she okay?
Madame Speaker threw a big fit
The skin on her face moved a wee bit
Her arms where a flailin’
Her voice was a wailin’
Her lies made the fan hit the
shitSome use a bad word for “Pelosi”
That begins with the letter “C”
Now, if you should want
Nah…I think I will punt
Better to say that it wasn’t me
Well, I would say this is a valiant attempt to rhyme something with “Pelosi,” OxyCon. If only she were from Nantucket!
The Speaker was there in 2002
To review what torture could then accrue
To wily guys at the Gitmo Keep
But, Waterboarding, N-O, you CIA bleep,
And now here’s Nancy, Pinocchio in the stew.
And now here’s Nancy, Pinocchio’s in the stew.
And now here’s Nancy, Pinocchio nosedown in the stew,
Final last line, I think…
there once was a speaker
who couldn’t be weaker
at first she denied
then she lied
now she sounds like Beaker.
Poor House Speaker Nancy Pelosi
once ruled the Convention as Queen D
to gift BO the throne;
but now, stung by her drone,
she is circling the drain in a frenzy.
Wow, very good Rob.
I know there’s something here, especially as it ties in with your “web” of lies. But I’m not witty enuf to put it together.
It’s too symbolic as this happened just today.
Today we turned on our pump to start watering our yard for the summer. To drain the rest of the water from the hose, we sprayed on some flowers that apparently were attached to a “web”. When the water fell on the web, out came the Black Widow thinking she got her a meal.
Like a Black Widows Web
built with thin threads of lies
all come crashing when the water boarded on her web called her out of her hole. Now safe and sound placing her neatly preserved in a jar for historic purposes.
OK, come on, someone, I know there’s great talent here. Do something with that.
When the water hit it
Alas & alack, I’m a Linda too, you put my Muse sorely to the test! But verily, I cannot resist the symbolic overtones of your tale:
(Sorry, couldn’t fit Nancy into the mix.)
roflmaooaoa OMG!!! That is PRICELESS. You are good.
Maybe if you just added
“Nancy… the black widow spider construed
and thenthe rest of your fantastic limerick.
What do you think?
Works for me, Linda!
Applause applause applause for oowawa!!!
Charlotte is in tears laughing. So am I.
There once was a Speaker named Nancy
Who demanded a jet super fancy.
And when women would try
To reach office up high,
She’d said uh-uh sister, no chancy.
Then one day she said to Obama,
Let’s cause the Republicans trauma.
We’ll expose all their lies,
They’ll be dropping like flies,
And sent packing back home to their momma.
So she called all reporters around,
And said Cheney and Bush will go down,
But that proved quite unwise,
She got caught up in lies,
And was forced in disgrace to step down.
As she flew one last time on the jet,
She said truly I have one regret.
If I’d backed Hillary,
She’d have stood up for me,
And the country would have much less debt.
Hey, no fair! A professional poet snuck in here somehow! Very nice work, antifish.
antifish — that one should go in the hall of fame!
BRAVO!!!!!!!
The Prez., the VP, and me,
We are the firstest and bestest of three.
(At least the top
of the whole lot)
You know it’s not us who lie, said she.
The Speaker’s House, it is not clean
Torture advocating
The truth obscured by blaming game
And prevaricating
The Speaker’s House it is not clean
Torture advocating
The truth obscured by blaming game
And prevaricating
[...] I am pilfering this but they are doing this *limerick* contest on No Quarter on Speaker Pelosi and they have some damn good ones, so here is [...]
There once was a Speaker with pride…
who claimed that “The Company” had lied.
To everyone’s dismay
her claims changed every day.
Til Botox made her tongue become tied.
Thanks so much y’all!
The Speaker’s House it is not clean
Moneychangers own it
Sucked dry to bone the common folk
Forced in debt we loan it
The Speaker’s House it is not clean
Torture advocating
The truth obscured by blaming game
And prevaricating
The Speaker’s House it is not clean
Pelosi on petard
She takes the rap for right wing flap
Bush/Cheney crimes ignored
The Speaker’s House it is not clean
Belies a Truth Commission
Obama’s open can of worms
Mistaken his volition
The Speaker’s House it is not clean
C.I.A. accuses
Pelosi twists before the blow
Under bus of bruises
The Speaker’s House it is not clean
Sweet justice must be done
To cleanse the stain our nation bears
From torture’s bloody run
The choice of cleaning Speaker’s house
Or turn blind eye to crime
Rise to honor integrity
Proud beacon light must shine
antifish! That one is AWESOME! lowdowndog – yours is beginning to make chords in my head – actually, I think BOTH of these should be set to music. I wanna see someone sing these on youtube!
They say Pelosi’s cred’s in bad shape
With her job intact will she escape?
But even more apropos
Inquiring minds want to know
Where is Michelle’s “whitey” tape?
Hmm, it’s been 1 year since the existence of the supposed “whitey” tape was announced….and we have yet to see it. Happy freakin’ Anniversary!
I have yet to see my mortgage paid for by Obama. Where’s the check, bot?
I have yet to see the real BC – and yes, that’s still alive in the SCOTUS. Where’s the BC, the university records, the health records, and the real draft registration, Bot?
Oh that’s right! Obama has hired twenty-two lawyers at last count to make sure no one see those documents!
Is it true that Obama went to Occidental as a foreign student? Prove to us he didn’t, bot!
The Botoxed Speaker from Cali
To Obama and ACORN did rally
She slandered our spies
Got caught in her lies
And silly smiles mark her finale.
That’s great!
ROLF
Mamatx, that is fantastic!^^^^
Bravo!!
Thanks!
lots of great talent here!
There once was a Nancy out west
who Barack told to “give it a rest”
but she couldn’t comply
and continued to lie
until Gitmo made her its guest
okay this is contagious and too much fun. one more:
Nancy has been lying so long
that it sounds just like an old song
but the spooks are rebelling
they’re mad and they’re yelling
“we won’t rest until Nancy is gone”
I promise–last one
Pelosi, Pelouski, Pelousy
Without Botox, she is quite mousey
She thinks we can’t tell
When her lies start to smell
But she’s done bein’ head of the House-y
[...] Speaker Pelosi Limerick Contest. NQ. [...]
Cheers to Speaker Pelosi!
Big biz made her bankbook look rosey
But then came the crash
Now she’s run out of cash
‘Cause she spent it all fixing her nosey!
whoframedrudy, rhyming “Pelosi” with “rosey” and “nosey”–brilliant!
lol
OK, I can’t come up with a limerick, so instead I have a short poem. My hubby shows support by claiming Nancy is too big a bi for 5 lines. lol
There once was a speaker who declared
She saw no misogyny aired
If anything she found benefit
And played the card to her credit.
A pact she did barter
To keep her own Charter
Was just a temporary deal
To help with the election steal.
To her dismay
Is support for the CIA.
And seeing the fuss
Places her next under the bus.
Which has long been on its way.
my contribution, I couldn’t resist after reading all of your posts…..funny!
Little Nancy told some lies,
Just enough to get her by
the CIA and Newtie pounced,
Now watch little Nancy’s butt get bounced.
Madlib allowed?
Nancy had a _____ named Penny
Who had a fortune a plenty.
She sat on a ______ BO could afford,
So his cellphone could vibrate a twenty.
Not to be out done Pelosi had a _____
Where silence was torture.
Through the darkest of night her eys shone _______ and I knew the day to be a scorcher.
My name is Nancy Pelosi….
I play fast and loose with the truth….
Because I can’t seem to keep my mouth shut….
As Speaker I have been given the boot!!
Pelosi, diminutive elf,
matched wits with the Devil himself
but Cheney was slyer,
a much better liar,
Now Pelosi’s head’s on his shelf.
nice footwork, who.
There once was a blogger named Larry
Who found a nice black lady scary
His rumors persisted
The tapes never existed
So now when you read him be wary!
HAPPY WHITEY DAY!
Let’s pity the O’Bot named Whitey,
Obama has turned a hard righty,
Says Gitmo’s Ok,
No torturers will pay,
And his wiretap love’s reignitied,
At least you spelled Whitey correctly which was not the case on your other rather insipid post.
Happy Ignoramous Day to you, Whitey. It’s just so your holiday, you’ve been elected poster child for stupid obots everywhere.
Relish the dubious honor.
Ha! Betsy-I’ll bet you’re a dude, like Ann Coulter.
Just one more.
To torture or not is the question
But Nancy has got a suggestion
‘Let’s play it both ways,
And see it how it lays’
This woman gives me indigestion.
There once was a rep from the Bay, who was set in her own liberal way; most folks do remember her back in November, she had fed on her favorite young prey. These were tasty green voters, who simply followed orders, as naive political explorers, in a pile of B.S. promising “Change”. Though the party of the wiser resisted, it gave in as the taunted-Pelosi-skin lies persisted, while she led the green voters astray. The Acorn-heads by her side were all laughing, while their green vote frauds kept mounting till polling place closed in big disarray. Party donkeys in their blue pajamas came to praise the victorious Obamas for their bowl of green-voters cool aid. Many months of big spending, mad Federal funds lending, and green-voters wishing hang-over to end, kept the truth of Pelosi’s psychosis from following a similarly revealing trend. Yet, when pressed by the press and under duress, old Nancy to herself expressed “There is nothing a good lie can’t mend!” Madam Speaker seemed happy, as words parsing and snappy, the good spies at the Company she blamed. Through her Botox-held smiles, her nose grew several miles, as false tales of her briefings she shared. But to her dismay, the truth found its own way for Madam Speaker.gov to be browsed, and even some green voters finally had the truth aroused. Finally, Madam Speaker, I don’t claim to be sleeker, but as folks who are much wiser and meeker would say: “You can play with the chains, but don’t go messing with poison-dart carrying spooks that C.I.A. so thoroughly trains.”
Lies have come back to haunt Pelosi;
However, for the prisoners misery,
President Bush should go to jail
And Dick Cheney will go to hell,
Nancy was just an assessory.
Speaker Nancy P. from The City
Lied ‘bout CIA veracity
But Panetta said “Gadzooks,
Only the truth speak my spooks”
So a wringer has Nancy’s titty.
Speaker Nancy P. from The City
Fibbed ‘bout CIA veracity;
But Panetta said “Gadzooks,
Only the truth speak my spooks!”
Thus a wringer caught Nancy’s titty.
Madam Speaker first called for a “Truth Commission”
Then she realized she’d been informed of the decision
So she changed her story real quick
Poor Nancy started sweating, her lips she did lick,
“Oops, let me get this right-wait, what page am I on?
Why is no one coming to help me after all I’ve done?”
We hope she reaps what she sows
With her voters giving her a heave hoe
She issued “talking points” to the rest of the House
She needs to realize she now is the mouse
Her colleagues are asking “is she on hash?”
Gibbs says “Out she goes with the trash”
“It’s on tape! Michelle rantin’ bout Whitey!”
Larry Johnson proclaimed on this site. He
Was a liar or fool,
Or a shitheaded tool–
It’s been a year, still no tape. Well, all righty!
[...] Over @ No Quarter [...]