Well, That Ought To Learn Him…
By Rabble Rouser Reverend Amy on June 23, 2009 at 4:02 PM in Abuse, Crime, Current Affairs, Sexism, Women and Children
I saw this discussion on Kelly’s Court prior to the trial of Chris Brown, who was facing felony charges, possibly an attempted murder charge, against Rihanna. Let me go ahead and warn you now that the photos of Rihanna are graphic:
Let me say that there is a vast misperception about why people stay in, or return to, abusive relationships. There is a cycle of violence that begins with the gradual chipping away of the victim’s self-esteem. It does not happen overnight, and does not come on suddenly. If someone threatened someone with physical (emotional, psychological) abuse right off the bat, I think most people would tell the offender to slam off. No, it doesn’t work that way. The person begins slowly, often isolating the victim from friends and family, thus cutting off support resources from them, and it goes downhill from there, with a LOT of belittling, demeaning, emotional/psychological abuse layer upon layer. The physical abuse may start small, then ratchet up, but by then, the victim is already so demoralized, has already been told so many times that no one else will want her, that she deserves what she got, brought it on herself, or quite often, if she leaves, will be killed (and a whole heap inbetween those two extremes), thus leaving the victim feeling like she has no choice but to stay. The reality is, many victims who DO leave, are killed. That is the sad reality.
And within the cycle of violence, there is the repentance on the part of the abuser, promising never to do it again, that changes will be made, please don’t leave, and so on. It’s a “hope springs eternal” situation, and not for othing, but the victim usually actually loves the abuser. I know that sounds strange, but like I said, the abuser didn’t start OUT that way, and most likely, doesn’t always ACT that way. There is just enough repentance, or good times, or what have you, to convince the already battered victim to stay. So, it isn’t quite so easy as just walking out the door. It is usually at that very time that the victim is most at risk.
Rihanna at least has the MEANS to be on her own, which is a major plus for her. Most victims don’t have that option, another reason why they stay. They have been made financially dependent on the abuser.
So, when people “blame the victim,” saying Rihanna was an idiot for not leaving, they don’t understand that it is a FAR more complex situation than that.
And now to the big trial. You saw the video above. You have seen the photos of Rihanna. Well, there wasn’t a trial. There was a plea deal struck. Brown admitted he was guilty. Want to know what his sentence was? He got five years of probation, 180 days of community service (in VA), and has to go to a domestic violence program for a year. Oh, and there is a “stay away” order, that actually goes both ways, the judge was quick to point out. And get this – a number of articles talk about how hard this is going to be on BROWN. WOW. Talk about missing the point…
Let’s recoup: Brown beat the SHIT out of Rihanna, threatened to kill her, in front of a third person, and he will spend NOT ONE DAY in jail. Not one day. Not one damn day for beating the pure-t shit out of someone who was basically captive (she was in a car).
I have to say, I am getting pretty sick of writing about these men getting away with battering women, threatening them with death, and getting light sentences, or raping minors and getting away with a slap on the wrist. It sounds a message that is loud and clear, one we saw on the airwaves and in the press throughout the course of the past “election”: in the USA, women (and girls) are still less than, not as important as, and far more expendable than, men. As long as these men, celebrities or not, are allowed to beat women senseless, rape little girls, and get little more than slaps on the wrist as “punishment,” it is a tool to keep ALL women “in line.” That is to say when men are allowed to batter women with little comeuppance, it is a lesson to ALL women (and girls) that they better mind their p’s and q’s. And you better believe women pay attention to this. When approximately ONE THIRD of women in this country experience some form of abuse, you better freakin’ believe the other two thirds get the message – loud and clear. The same goes for girls.
Frankly, this is unacceptable. We cannot go around talking about the importance of human rights and women’s rights in other countries when so many women in THIS country are having their rights trampled on regularly, by their batterers, and by the courts. That Chris Brown could plea down to serving absolutely NO jail time for what he did, the court system has failed women. And we damn well know it.
And we need to STAND UP to these lax sentences, to the increasingly more accepted violence toward women. We must stand up, for ourselves, for our sisters, for our daughters, nieces, and granddaughters. We deserve better.
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That Chris Brown could plea down to serving absolutely NO jail time for what he did, the court system has failed women. And we damn well know it.
- I agree. …dude really did beat the sh!t out of her. She had bite marks, threatened to kill her.
It’s quite a feeling to know that sexism, misogyny, is alive and well in this country. I think many of just assumed that we have progessed beyond that point in this country but we haven’t. This is the same country that witnessed a “news anchor” say that he wants to take a female politician in the room and be the only one that comes out!!
After listening to the affidavit, I have to conclude that Rihanna endured other physical abuse from him before this incident in the car. His savage attack on her tells me that earlier less brutal attacks occurred without her reporting them.
Abusers start out small. If their brutatlity is not nipped in the bud, they will branch out, so to speak.
What a slimeball Chris Brown is.
I don’t understand why young girls are not taught to reject any kind of abuse the moment it occurs. This domestic violence issue continues to be swept under the rug until it explodes in a spectacular way.
I don’t understand why young girls are not taught to reject any kind of abuse the moment it occurs
Pennsylvania Red, I have spent a great deal of time raising my 2 girls not to take ANY crap from men.
That said, it is not within a parents control to get a young person to actually DO THIS!
I know.
Near as I can figure, the self esteem /emotional “I love him, he will change” Meme is VERY strong. There seems to be a relationship between emotional expectations / low self esteem and a denial of self preservation in young woman. I am in no way shifting the blame.
Controlling men are equally as insecure. Yet these similar dispositions seem to attract.
At a recent hearing I attended, the Judge appeared more concerned with “the tough childhood” of the young man than the welfare of the child or mother.
Screw that. Why did the judge in Browns case allow for this? I heard to day that the victim would not be a good prosecution witness. No shit. Fear is a strong motivator. After some asshat beat the crap out you may not wish to confront them.
What the hell is up with the judge?
As a human, I have a insane time trying to wrap my head around WHY the cycle of violence can’t be broken / stopped and will never understand the animal behavior of those that commit this violence.
Rev.Amy, I promise…no deer in the headlight.
Thanks for this, Teak.
As to the “deer in the headlights” previously, I just meant that as a parent yourself who discusses these issues with your children, I am sure you know FAR better than I do what to say/do with your girls to get them to get this message…That’sall!
And it sounds like you know whereof you speak from your work experience as well. Like I said the other day, I can only hope that your planting the seeds with them will bear fruit, and that they can help their contemporaries, too…
Rev. Amy , here is the thing…
I do not know how to get the message to them and not for trying either.
Anyone else wish to chime in? How many men posting here have let the black eye at the grocery store and worse slide? Can we as MEN not speak UP?
From the crack whores of Queens to the redneck poverty of Northern Ca and everywhere in between, I have met more victims of violence than I care to count. The toll it takes on the human condition is immeasurable.
It chaps me to the bone to read “can’t a man defend himself”?
My first girl friend raped by four guys, another cut in her vaginal area by a sadist with a razor blade and her suffering from schizophrenia because of it,having to take lythium the rest of her life. Another unable to feel any emotion; denied the comfort of feeling intimate love….due to the violence and the nightmares to lived be over and over again.
So much anger directed at those that bear the children of of mankind. Can’t a man defend himself?
Oh I get it…just because a woman might have the verbal advantage over a meathead, that is the actions of a MAN?
.
Can’t a man defend himself?
Teak: Agree with your comments. Somehow, the abuse cycle is beyond low self-esteem or anything we can comprehend. I believe women get terrorized and truly think the perp will kill them if they testify. Then, I think there’s a lot of shame. Most people don’t like to think that such awful things really happen and if a woman or child has been a victim of such a man they are ostracized once the truth comes out.
I have recently seen commercials about rape survivors. While the commercials are heart-wrenching I believe they provide a valuable public service.
I think a nationwide campaign about battered women and men (equally important though the numbers are smaller) would do a lot to make the public realize that this kind of violence is not acceptable under any circumstances.
I don’t think the public realizes that the victims of these types of crimes serve a life sentence and don’t “just get over it”.
I do agree that a strong message is being sent to women and girls that their safety and lives are not quite as important. It’s also true that men tend not to report these crimes due to fear of public ridicule.
Something is terribly wrong in our society and I don’t have any answers.
Brown’s beating of Rihanna goes part of the way down the very same road as the ritualized abuse and murder of women in certain cultures–the stoning of women, the punishment of women for being raped, and the “honor” killings of daughters by their fathers and brothers. Our whole society must recognize that it is the very same road of abuse, and we cannot tolerate even one step down that road. Those who think they are entitled to abuse others because they are physically stronger must be punished–even if they are rich and famous.
Rev. Amy, having written this, it seems so self-evident, so cliche, so trite, so basic that it should go without saying. How horrible, that it is still necessary to make these same obvious points.
I’m afraid we will keep having to make these “obvious” points, ridiculous as it is we should need to do so in this day and age.
I watched This Week with George S. on June 7 where Claire Shipman and Cynthia Tuycker were on his panel espousing on how we live in a “post-feminist world.” Honestly, are these women idiots???
Reading this article, seeing the reality of how the government and many in it constantly send the message that women’s safety and respect are not nearly as important as that of men — and certainly after watching what Marie Cocco of WaPo so aptly called “sex-based hate” in the media last year — how can anyone think that feminism, raising awareness about working toward real equality of women is no longer necessary.
So nice that self important panelists sheltered from these realities are so comfortable espousing on topics about which they are fairly clueless.
You cannot separate a woman having opportunities in education from that same woman being attacked on campus and her abuser not being punished. This is all happening within the same society.
Great article, Rev. Amy.
Well said, Ani – and excellent examples, too,
Thank you, and AGII – I appreciate it!
I do think rap music promotes the culture of violence and disrespect toward women. I’m not sure why any young men glory in that culture.
Chris Brown is a lucky guy to have enough money to pay a high end lawyer to keep him out of jail. Who ever said that life is fair and the justice system is fair? It’s only fair when it works out the way the winning side wants.
Actually Brown got what any other first time offender would get in the state of California. However, it should have been a misdemeanor instead of a felony as a first time offender.
I really wish it had gone all the way to trial so we could hear her testimony. Then her role in this whole mess could have been brought out and young girls would get the message that it is not okay to hit your boyfriend because he just may hit back and that as a female you will always get the worse end. Instead, she was allowed to be portrayed as the ultimate vicitm and did not have to take responsibilty for the role that she played. I just dn’t believe that Brown did what is written in the police reports simply because she looked at his text messages. If that were the case then he should go to jail. Domestic abuse can go both ways and because Rihanna did not own up to her part in the situation the pattern will show up again in her future relationships.
Your car can be totalled and the other car not have a scratch on it and the accident still be your fault.
I am in NO WAY condoning domestic violence. But can men not defend themselves when attacked?
This logic is similar to arguing that a woman who wears a provocative dress somehow deserves it if she is raped.
If he was defending himself, he would have grabbed her hands, or gotten out of the car. or any number of other options. His actions were about inflicting as much pain and suffering as he could – whether it was in retaliation about her words or some action on her part seems irrelevant.
Yes, and men who beat women and children will always blame the victim, it’s part of the syndrome. I think anyone who falls for that is predisposed to dislike women and blame them. There is NO excuse for a man to beat a woman or a child. Those people are defenseless in the face of such superior physical strength.
Perps always use the she started it line to make the woman feel responsible so he can keep her and discourage her from testifying.
“I am in NO WAY condoning domestic violence. But can men not defend themselves when attacked?”
You’re not? Huh – I wonder why my head just exploded when I read this, then…
Victims do fight back sometimes against their batterers, and as NoBamaNoWay pointed out so well below, often they have to use weapons (if women) in order to compensate for the difference in strength or height. Rihanna, in this case, though, did not. That does NOT constitute “domestic violence going both ways” – that is someone defending themselves against their batterer.
But to read your comment, after Chris Brown admitted he was GUILTY of beating the shit out of this woman and threatened to KILL HER, to then question what RIHANNA’S part was in it? Her “part,” in response to your “blame the victim” question, was as a punching bag for Chris Brown.
Oh, maybe she just got int he way of his fists, and it wasn’t REALLY his fault after all…
Just to be clear, ultimately, Domestic Violence is abt Power and Control. Physical violence may, or may NOT, be a part of that.
“I just dn’t believe that Brown did what is written in the police reports simply because she looked at his text messages.”
Then why did he enter a guilty plea? Was he trying to protect her or himself from a jury trial? If he had been judged by a jury of his peers, he would be facing jail time. Where are the pics of his face, bruised and battered?
Take a good look at this young woman’s face and look at the pictures before the battering occurred. This won’t be the last woman he abuses and she probably wasn’t the first and I’m 99% sure of that.
I wonder where you get your information. You were 100% sure Dave Letterman didn’t know his joke was referring to a fourteen year old girl.
I didn’t say he didn’t do anything and then admitted he was guilty. I’m saying there’s a whole story that we don’t know and that what set him off was not simply her reading his text messages.
And I can be just as positive that Dave didnt know it was the 14 yr as you can be that Brown WILL do this again. It’s not always a case of once an abuser always and abuser. I think they got into a 2-way fight that she was on the losing end of… if she thought he was cheating then leave, don’t snoop and badger.
And that justifies getting the crap beat out of her?
.
no, it in no way justifies hitting another person.
i’m just saying this case is not the same as the years of domestic abuse some people endure because they can’t get out and to compare it to that is a disservice to women/men who truly are victims of a horrible situation and clouds the outrage people should feel over those situations. she could get out and chose to go back to him over and over. she even asked the judge to not be so harsh on the restraining order. she’ll be back with him before his probation is over.
co-dependenancy is a vicious world.
justme_kc you can not use the chicken or the egg arguement, that is pure bullshit.
In high school a girl on a bus brandished a razor blade at me. When I got off the bus and waved her to do the same, she stayed put. GET IT?
Conversley I have seen women in martial arts put an asswupin’s on a several men.
That said the choices are are to AVOID violence if at all possible unless you like the Bobbit solution.
Great comments, friends. And yes, oowawa, it is truly sad to have to keep writing these posts, but holy schmoly, instead of things getting better, these kinds of sentences have set back the DV movement back decades. We have fought so hard to get this issue taken seriously (and yes, for men, too – that’s a whole ‘nother story), to get the courts to take these issues seriously, to have the police enforce restraining orders, and on and on. But when someone can do what Brown did, and get what he got, while Rihanna, as so well pointed out by candymarl, gets a life sentence, in unconscionable. She was victimized by Brown, and by the system. When is this going to stop?
Wow. I am so glad y’all get it…
Politicalidentitycrisis, thank you so much for the work you are doing, and for your willingness to help others get through it.. I hate that it took you EIGHT years to make it through the system, but thank heavens you did…
I have to add that women in the family court system are increasingly “raped” by that system as well. Women are not listened to. Having experienced my own 8 year ordeal in the family courts in Hennepin County, MN and having come out with custody of my children and being successful in proving my ex husband an abuser, I sadly know that most women do not. I have worked with a group of women for several years and if abuse is mentioned the court assumes that the women is lying and just doesn’t want to “share her children”. A very dear friend of mine that I met in this group just lost custody of her 2 small children and her abusive ex husband was granted permission to move to Indiana, although the law expressly states that if the other parent has visitation a move shall not be granted. The woman judge in this case decided that my friend was not “credible”, even though she had 2 psychologist expert witnesses to testify that she was an abuse vitim, and the judge decided that she didn’t like how the law for move out of state read and so she would use a different part of the law to allow the abuser to take the children away and isolate the children. What happens in court is that the courts become an extension of the abuse and you suffer 1,000 fold. It is quite disturbing. If there is anyone out there in MN who knows anyone going through a custody trial with an abuser, please contact me at skdcarp@msn.com. I know some places to help and I can give the info for this group so that at least you know you are not alone. It is criminal how we treat women and children in this country.
I also felt abused by the court system during my ordeal, which I posted below. I was lucky enough to have survived long enough for the kids to refuse to do what the court wanted in regard to their father. And equally lucky to have had a few dealings with policemen who disobeyed the law in a few cases and refused to put my then teenaged kids where they did not want to be. My ex had started treating them as he had treated me before. He even admitted once to one of the kids that his brutal punishnent of my boy for having the audacity to see me when he was supposed to be with his dad was one that he (my ex) had learned from prison guards, as it did not leave physical marks (just severe emotional scars)/
Does he go to jail, I hope, if he doesn’t stay a certain distance away from her? Because I’m willing to bet he won’t keep to that one.
Unbelievable! I am just as disgusted with the music industry and the whole celebrity circuit that still put up with Brown. They should all turn their backs when he walks into a room.
I endured a long relationship that eventually became extremely mentally and emotionally abusive, and it did culminate with my isolation and dependence on the creep. It progressed just as you described. I had kids and animals depending on me and no one around to help me. So thank you for pointing out the dynamics.
I did also fear for my life. It was car brakes that he would never get around to fixing, car exhausts that blew carbon monoxide into the cabin, which also never were fixed. He had a life insurance policy on me. But I think the back-up plan was to coax me into suicide with his constant message of how much better off everyone would be without me.
I really resented the message I got from people I tried to talk with about my situation. It was always, “Just leave.” There was little in the way of explanation as to how I could leave with three kids, two dogs, two cats and no access to our joint accounts and credit cards, which he controlled and with lawyers demanding $5,000 retainers. It didn’t matter in the small town I lived in, though, as he had conveniently “consulted” with each of he lawyers in town over some bogus issue or another, so they couldn’t take me on as a client due to conflict of interest issues.
I used to wish that he would beat me so I could have evidence and could get him out of the house. But, I could also see behind his eyes and tell that if it ever got to that, I might not survive either. He would have beat me to death, or he would have later found a way to get me.
I always say it was divine intervention that finally put things in place for me to get out and save the kids and animals–longer story. It certainly wasn’t, however, a society that made it clear that his behavior was unacceptable. He was a fairly important person in town who could charm the sox off of everyone who didn’t live with him.
I haven’t seen him and his abusive family for over ten years, but I still get panic attacks at the thought of having to be in a room wih him or any of them.
And by th way–my last I.Q test put me slightly above our genius POTUS. It’s no just dumb people who get trapped in these situations.
3 children and 2 dogs and 2 cats–7 little hostages. This is a hostage crisis situation, and the solution of how to deal with a terrorist, whom the world perceives as a charming gentleman, who is holding 7 innocent hostages is something out of a horror movie. A poignant tale, Diana, and all too common, I’m afraid. Thanks for telling it.
Diana, thank you so much for sharing your story with us. You are quite right – it is not just dumb, or poor, people who end up in this situation – it crosses all class lines, all economic lines, all color lines.
And the situation you described has happened to so many women I know. One woman couldn’t get the police to arrest her husband for violating the restraining because her husband was friends with them. She had to flee for her life, and her story, how he was able to use the system for HIM against her, would curl your hair.
And honestly, that happens quite a bit, too. I swear, these batterers have a newsletter or something in which they share their tips or something…One thing they do is go for the restraining orders FIRST, for instance, as another way to screw over the victim…
And Diana, psychological/emotional abuse cannot be downplayed in any way- the mental/emotional torture stays, as you described so eloquently.
You raised two other very important issues victims face in getting out, Diana: children and pets. The impact cannot be understated. I am sure you can write a good bit on those issues alone…
Diana L.C. I so understand what you are saying. I have been there. One time both of my brake lines on my minivan “broke” at the same time. The repair shop said it was very rare for them to break so prematurely (in a 4 year old vehicle) and at the same time was just incredible. I wondered if my husband had cut them to try and get the life insurance he’d recently taken out on me. Then in court, for many years, I was not believed when trying to tell about my abuse and that of my children. The only reason I was finally believed is because my ex was also abusive to his new girlfriend and she told the court about her fear for my children and that she stayed because she, too, was afraid for my children and what would happen if she left. I was astonished that another women would stay to protect my children! I’m sad that she suffered as well, but grateful to save my children from many more years of hell.
Your comments about the court system are also important. I felt almost as abused by the courts and his lawyer as I had been by him. I was just lucky enough to survive long enough for the kids to become teens. Then I was lucky to deal with some smart police officers who actually disobeyed the court order to grab my boy out of my house and make him spend his assigned custody time with his father after he refused to go there.
My ex had once punished my boy severely for having the audacity to have some contact with me on his week with his father. My ex had begun treating the kids as he had always treated me. This punishment technique, he had bragged, was one he had learned from a prison guard friend. It left no physical evidence, but it sure could have left emotional scars if used very much more.
It was only then that the court gave in and left it up to the kids if they wanted to go there or not.
Excellent post Amy!! So sad… but you outlined perfectly the victims, and how they abuser succeeds.
it is definitely bullsh*t. women (especially older women) must be united in sending the message to other women that they should leave any man the FIRST time he ever puts a hand on them. you are correct that there are many reasons why women don’t leave, but let’s face it, waiting for the courts to create justice here is going to be a long wait; victims must take matters into their own hands, whether it is leaving or fighting back.
when it comes to self-defense, this is another area where the “justice system” favors the abuser, who is usually bigger and stronger; as long as the abuser uses his bare hands to attack the victim, he is considered “unarmed” and it is considered a trivial crime even IF he is convicted, but if the smaller victim (often a woman) uses a weapon to defend herself, she is facing serious jail time if the trial doesn’t go her way.
the reality is that a woman often *needs* a weapon to defend herself against a man, but then she is immediately suspected of being a crazed vicious psychopath, while the man basically gets a free pass from the law to do all the damage he can do, as long as he only uses his bare hands. that is legal gender bias, if there ever was such a thing.
Violence against women is as old as civilization. It’s primal, it’s hardwired and extremely difficult to eradicate from any culture. The sexualization of women in the backlash of the last 20 years in the mainstream media has certainly set us back but this plea deal is symbolic of the horror of domestic abuse. The woman who cannot extricate herself from the relationship should NEVER be blamed. The fear and control that the partner exerts over her is off the charts. And as in any survival situation where one does not know if she will live or die whether she drops a glass of water or threatens to leave him, the woman must be on high alert all the time. Chris Brown should have served at least 5 years, what if he pulls an OJ and comes back and kills her. Will he get off then too?
Dear RRRA:
True, but: in the end it is just that simple. The abused partner has to leave. Abusers never recover, never change, never stop. There is no solution that includes the abuser, the only solution is to leave.
The only variable is how much pain and suffering the victim will endure before realizing this simple truth.
That said, we as a society need much stronger laws concerning abusers who continue to stalk their victims after they have left. Restraining orders are not sufficient, long jail terms are the only prophylactic.
exactly. she had the ability to get out of that situation. i understand that everyone’s situation is different but this should not be compared to women who have stayed in abusive relationships for 30 years because they had no way to get out or had been completely beaten down mentally before the physical abuse began and thought they deserved that kind of crap. this was a 20 year old kid, so they couldn’t have been together THAT long. he has admitted he was wrong and will accept his punishment without dragging her through a public trial.
Is it really that simple, Craig? Abuse of teenage girls by their boyfriends has increased dramatically in the past decade. May I suggest, although stronger laws might help in existing situations, the real solution will require much more complex action.
Education in homes and schools is a start. It isn’t enough to tell girls and women they can leave a relationship unless boys and men are taught respect. Male abusers should be ostracized by other men. At the risk of being labeled a trouble maker, I will say the problem is men, not women.
There’s a long list of male celebrities in music, sports and every other entertainment industry who have walked away unscathed after beating/killing or raping women. If OJ, Robert Blake, Kobe Bryant, Bobby Brown, Chris Brown, football players @ CU and so many other so called role models can get by with this, why wouldn’t a high school boy think it’s ok?
Why don’t other men who claim to be outraged by the violence, refuse to boycott abusers and instead turn the victim into the guilty party? If you can answer that question, perhaps you will understand why women don’t leave.
Most people loath the abuse of animals. Michael Vick went to prison and his career is over because he abused dogs. Forgive me if I don’t understand. I believe more women are killed every year by their significant others than animals murdered by their human companions.
I have thought ever since the Sexual Revolution in the ’60s that the real problem we have in our culture is constantly seeking means of relieving men from their innate responsibilities toward women instead of educating men to be responsible.
Unfortunately, too many mothers excuse the inexcusable behavior of their sons toward women and our whole culture now accepts first-date or acquaintance sex, the only hurdle being how to prevent pregnancy so the man won’t be inconvenienced. That’s the post-feminist world.
I’m afraid that ’70s feminists were mainly concerned with fighting to try and prove they WERE men instead of fighting for the kind of society that is beneficial and protective to women. I was sorry to see so many women take the stance that equal rights meant they could go out and be promiscuous and irresponsible just like so many men.
And as for the provocative dress, it’s too bad younger women can’t realize that men are carnal animals for the most part and if you flaunt what you’ve got in front of the world, there are lots of men out there who can’t control their primordial sexual urges. This, in my opinion, is where girls need education about men. They don’t look at thinking, “What a cute girl, I’d like to marry her.” No, they look at you think SEX!
I’m a little disappointed in you tek. Do you honestly believe the women’s movement was about having sex as indiscriminately as men? If I list all of the reasons women fought for their rights, you still wouldn’t understand because you’ve reduced the entire debate to the hormonal level.
We are human beings, not just receptacles of seminal fluid. We think deep thoughts and wonder about the meaning of life, how things work. We appreciate great art, music and literature. Without opportunity for education, we are denied the growth assessable to the other half of the population.
Without the right to have control over our own bodies, we become domestic servants, reduced to cleaning toilets, having babies, making sure dinner is on the table when the master comes home. See the shock on the faces of male guests at a gathering when a woman expresses an opinion or wants to join a conservation on the economy or life on Mars.
We were dependents, supplicants, prisoners denied the right of equal pay or good jobs. We were/are left with an unequal partnership choosing to marry because it was expected, cheated out of a true friendship marriage should be.
Is it any surprise then, young women have allowed themselves to acquiesce and play the role assigned to them? Frankly and speaking for myself alone, I’m pretty tired of hearing about the irresistible sexual urges of some of the male population. If they think only with their penis, they shouldn’t be in charge of anything.
BTW the McNaughton rule for criminal insanity:
“…it must be clearly proved that, at the time of committing the act, the party accused was labouring under such a defect of reason, from disease of the mind, as not to know the nature and quality of the act he was doing, or, if he did know it, that he did not know he was doing what was wrong.
This sounds very much like the argument you are using.
Here in Chicago, we have the story of a large off-duty cop who beat up a petite female bartender in a neighborhood bar in FEb of 2007. The beating was caught on video (the story and video below).
The decision in the trial was just this week. He was found guilty and sentenced to probation and no time in jail. for beating up a petite woman who had the temerity to deny him any more drinks. The photo I saw this morning showed
him walking out of the courthouse holding hands with his wife – who resembled the victim (in my eyes).
Because he had “no other complaints against him” and
she did not sustain serious injuries, he will walk. I guess in Illinois, you actually have to kill a woman – on tape – for it to be seen as a serious crime.
I am boiling mad. (and so is the Illinois chapter of NOW who is planning to fight against this judges reelection to his judgeship in the coming elections.)
I’m still not impressed with NOW. But at least someone is doing something.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-abbate-24-jun24,0,5965992.story
I saw that story leslie, although I don’t live in your state. The man was huge and wasn’t he an off duty policeman?
NOW has been MIA for years, but they recently reported on Dave Letterman also so we can hope they are waking up to the obscenities after ignoring them for years. Is there any group of men protesting this outrage?
The more I think about that the madder I get. I was a Chicago bartender when I was 21. I guess that by attempting to comply with liquor laws by cutting the man off the bartender was asking for it because why would anyone work in a bar if they weren’t asking to get beat up? If someone beat the crap out of that judge while the judge was serving in his official capacity he would be whining his ass off and sentencing the assailant on felony charges I am sure. Assaulting a CTA employee is a federal charge as well. What kind of stupid government employee is this judge to practically say that the bartender was asking for it just because she tried to cut the pathetic drunken loser off. I guess I should be glad that I’m no longer a bar tender but honestly that judge is a friggin moron.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-abbate-24-jun24,0,5965992.story
A drunk Chicago cop who punched and licked the crap out of a tiny female bartender got two years probation because according to the judge, it wouldn’t really deter this kind of behavior to try to punish the behavior. I think the judge called it a “drunken bar fight.” Unbelievable. Like the bartender was egging it on or something.
oops i didn’t see that was already posted.