The First Lady Of SC Speaks Out
By Rabble Rouser Reverend Amy on June 27, 2009 at 12:30 PM in Current Affairs, Hillary Clinton, Saturday Night Live, South Carolina
Wowie zowie - Jenny Sullivan Sanford is no wallflower, in case anyone somehow got that impression. No, far from it - she is a strong, independently wealthy, educated, formed Wall Street Executive who ran her husband’s campaigns. She is one tough cookie, as is demonstrated in this article from Saturday’s Post and Courier, “First Lady Told Him To End It.” Holy smokes.
I realize that title pretty much says it all, but here are some of the details to fill it in (from the AP article linked above):
South Carolina first lady Jenny Sanford sat in her oceanfront living room Friday, recalling how her husband repeatedly asked permission to visit his lover in the months after she discovered his affair.“I said absolutely not. It’s one thing to forgive adultery; it’s another thing to condone it,” Jenny Sanford told The Associated Press during a 20-minute interview at the coastal home where she sought refuge with their four sons. They were her first extended comments on the affair.
She said that when her husband, Gov. Mark Sanford, inexplicably disappeared last week, she hoped he was hiking on the Appalachian Trail, as his staff told those who inquired about his absence. That he had dared to go to Argentina to see the other woman left her stunned.“He was told in no uncertain terms not to see her,” she said in a strong, steady voice. “I was hoping he was on the Appalachian Trail. But I was not worried about his safety. I was hoping he was doing some real soul-searching somewhere and devastated to find out it was Argentina. It’s tragic.”
The Sanfords had separated about two weeks ago. The first lady said her husband told the family that he wanted some time away to work on writing a book and clear his head. “I had every hope he was not going to see her,” she said.
“You would think that a father who didn’t have contact with his children, if he wanted those children, he would toe the line a little bit,” she said.
The governor, who is staying at the official residence in Columbia, returned Wednesday to end days of speculation on his whereabouts, publicly confess his cheating and emotionally apologize.
Jenny Sanford, a Georgetown-educated, former Wall Street vice president, was not with her husband Wednesday during his pained public confession.
I have to say, it was mighty surprising to read that even SHE thought he was hiking on the Appalachian Trail. See, now, given what’s coming next, I can say I would have had a hard time believing that one:
Sanford said she discovered her husband’s affair early this year after coming across a copy of a letter to the mistress in one of his files in the governor’s mansion. He had asked her to find some financial information, she said, not an unusual request considering her heavy involvement in his career.She would not comment on what was in the letter, except to say “enough to figure out an affair was going on.”
She felt “shocked and obviously deeply hurt. I didn’t think he had it in him,” she said. “It’s hard to find out your husband is not who you thought he was.”
The first lady said she confronted her husband immediately, and he agreed to end the affair. She said she wasn’t sure Friday whether he had done so.
“I guess that’s what we will have to see. I believe he has,” she said. “But he was down there for five days. I saw him yesterday and he is not staying here. We’ll just see what kind of spirit of reconciliation he has himself.”
The governor declined to discuss details of the letter and how he handled it with his wife.
Gee, really?? Can’t imagine why he would decline discussing the salacious details of his love letters to his paramour. Ahem:
“This goes into the personal zone,” Sanford said Friday. “I’d simply say that Jenny has been absolutely magnanimous and gracious as a wonderful Christian woman in this process.”Jenny Sanford cried at the end of the interview, and said the couple have been to counseling.
“When I found out in January, we both indicated a willingness to continue working on the marriage, but there’s not room for three people in a marriage,” she said. “I’ve done everything in my power possibly to keep him from going to see her and to really make sure she was off the table, including asking him to leave.”
Told you this woman was no pushover, no wallflower, she. It is astonishing that the governor kept asking her to allow him to see his lover, isn’t it?? He’s damn lucky, it seems, that she didn’t throw him out on his keister long before this. Especially when he says crap like this:
About an hour after Jenny Sanford talked of her pain and feelings of betrayal, her husband brushed aside any suggestion he might immediately resign, citing the Bible and the story of David, who continued to lead after sleeping with another man’s wife, Bathsheba, having the husband slain, then marrying the widow.“What I find interesting is the story of David, and the way in which he fell mightily — fell in very, very significant ways, but then picked up the pieces and built from there,” Sanford told members of his Cabinet in a session called so he could apologize to them in person and tell them the business of government must continue.
And he said all of that with a straight face?? REALLY??? That takes some kind of disconnected, De Nile, kind of hubris, doesn’t it? Seems like there are others, beside his wife, who aren’t buying that kind of hooey:
Some Republican leaders have called for Sanford to resign, and some lawmakers and watchdog groups are pressing for investigations into whether he improperly used state money.
Uh, yeah - those of us who pay taxes in SC would like to know that, too. Thanks for asking.
While the First Lady may care about that, too, it is not her overriding concern:
For Jenny Sanford, the focus is the couple’s four sons. During her interview, she wept as she displayed the stellar report cards earned by her eldest two sons at their private school in Columbia.On the coffee table was a collection of devotional books, including a book of commentary on the Bible’s Book of Job, the story of a man whose faith God tests to the extreme.
“Parenting is the most important job there is, and what Mark has done has added a serious weight to that job,” she said.
I think most people would agree with that, even if we are uncomfortable with this level, or type, of religiosity. But hey - that’s this woman’s faith perspective, and apparently the place from which she draws strength. Whatever sustains her during this difficult time.
There was another article about First Lady Sanford in Friday’s paper, “Tough, Astute Jenny Sanford Let Her Man Stand By Himself.” It makes an interesting point right off the bat:
To those accustomed to watching betrayed first ladies smile stiffly through their husbands’ public confessions, the absence of Gov. Mark Sanford’s wife at the soul-baring news conference where he admitted to an affair with a woman in Argentina was striking.Instead, she issued a tough-minded statement saying she had thrown her cheating husband out and told him to stop speaking to her while she tries to deal with his infidelity.
That came as no surprise to those who know this independently wealthy, Georgetown-educated former Wall Street executive. Around the state, Jenny Sanford is regarded as a strong-minded figure, accomplished and politically astute.
Jenny Sanford doesn’t have it in her to play the “namby-pamby Tammy Wynette,” said Donald Aiesi, a political scientist at Furman University in Greenville, the governor’s alma mater.
“She has very strong faith, very strong family values,” said Marjory Wentworth, a family friend who was appointed South Carolina’s poet laureate by the governor in 2003. “There’s no gray area about the things that matter to her.”
Many of Jenny Sanford’s counterparts have stood beside or behind their spouses for similar moments of scandal: When New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey outed himself as gay. When former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer acknowledged he was the client of a call-girl ring. When Idaho Sen. Larry Craig denied trying to elicit sex in an airport men’s room.
Some of these political wives were bitterly criticized for subjecting themselves to such humiliation, as was Hillary Rodham Clinton, who stood by her husband, figuratively, if not literally, during some of the most fraught moments of the Monica Lewinsky scandal.
You know, I wonder how these women would have conducted themselves had they not been BLINDSIDED by their husbands’ infidelities, had they not been in shock at the time of these “confessions”? If they had had five or six months to hash this out with their husbands the way First Lady Sanford did, they may have chosen differently, too. I don’t know that much about many of the women listed above, but Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Edwards were also successful women in their own right. They may have chosen to be absent from those press conferences, too. Instead:
Kendra Stewart, a political science professor at the College of Charleston, said Jenny Sanford was wise not to appear at her husband’s side.“The women receive a lot of criticism and even mocking on ‘Saturday Night Live’ skits, criticism from woman’s groups and other folks,” she said. “People doing a lot of speculation about their expressions, what they were thinking. And by not being present, she removes all of that speculation.”
As for whether Jenny Sanford’s absence hurt her husband, Stewart said: “I’m not really sure any more damage could be done.”
In fact, the political scientist suggested that the 49-year-old governor might have helped himself somewhat by taking his lumps by himself, and not making his wife stand there the way other politicians in peril have done.
“In a way, I think the husbands took even more flak for their actions,” Stewart said, “because everyone had to watch their wives humiliated while they apologized.”
Uh, yeah - no kidding. Because they hadn’t already been humiliated enough, of course. But the matter was different with the First Lady:
During the painfully frank news conference, the governor said the first lady had known about the affair for five months. In her own statement, Jenny Sanford said: “We reached a point where I felt it was important to look my sons in the eyes and maintain my dignity, self-respect, and my basic sense of right and wrong. This trial separation was agreed to with the goal of ultimately strengthening our marriage.”Unlike other political wives, “she is laying down conditions at the outset and being very specific and emphatic that he’s got to toe the line,” Aiesi said. “The other wives sort of stood there like submissive somehow. She didn’t take that approach. She said, ‘I love him. I want him back. But it depends on him.’ She’s holding the cards.”
On Thursday, Jenny Sanford spent part of the day with her husband at their coastal home. Later, she left with some children in her car for what she said was dinner and a boat ride. Asked if she would be staying with her husband, she said: “It’s a goal.”
“I’m going to do my best to work on my marriage,” she said. As for her husband’s political future: “His career is not a concern of mine. He’ll have to worry about that. I’m going to worry about my family and the character of my children.”
Yes, that does seem to be the prevailing them for her - her children. But she, like many partners who have been cheated upon, still loves her husband. I’m guessing he’s going to be doing a whole LOT of work to keep her, though. As mentioned above, the First Lady pretty much has it going on all by her own self:
Born Jennifer Sullivan, the first lady grew up near Chicago. Her grandfather founded the Skil Corp., a power tool manufacturer. She graduated from Georgetown University in 1984 with a degree in finance, then worked for the Wall Street investment banking firm Lazard Freres & Co., where she was a vice president in mergers and acquisitions. Mark Sanford was also working on Wall Street.The couple have four school-age sons.
This will continue to be an unfolding saga, no doubt. And it is hard to deny the pain this woman, and her children are going through. But as many have pointed out, while all of this “Peyton Place” drama has been playing out all over the nation, there have been a whole bunch of things going on in Washington. Add in the deaths of three major cultural icons, and I would check my bank account balance were I you (you know, because the Prez and Congress have been left on their own in DC to do as they wish).
No doubt, some of my esteemed fellow writers will be dealing with just some of those goings-on, so for now, I can say that the First Lady may be a woman scorned, but she sure isn’t taking it lying down. Too bad these other women didn’t have the “luxury” of knowing about THEIR husbands affairs beforehand, too - maybe SNL wouldn’t have heaped more insult to the injury. Yeah, right.
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By Sarah Palin (Release date: November 17. 2009)
Mrs. Sanford is, of course, in great pain. But she does seem strong and determined to make sure it works out her way. I don’t think I would be sticking around.
I do feel sorry for those fine looking boys. This must be really rough on them.
Very good and well-rounded report, Amy.
“her husband repeatedly asked permission to visit his lover”
After reading this, I will criticize Governor Sanford no more.
Clearly he is suffering from a serious mental illness. What else could explain that? Asking permission…from his wife?
Some early stage schizophrenia?
Didn’t Elizabeth Edwards admit that she knew about John’s affair before he announced that he was entering the democratic primary? Thought she said that John indicated to her that he strayed one time.
Do you think that Katie Couric will blame Jenny, like she did Hillary. She asked Hillary if it was true she was called refrigerator in high school? No doubt Katie was calling Hillary frigide.
When are we going to get away from blaming the wife for the husbands infidelity??
I am sick of these outings by whomever it is that is uncovering all these unsavoring items.
That is so incredibly offensive, I cannot even believe it! She SAID that to Hillary??? Sheesh!! (That explains how she was able to justify the hatchet job she did on Palin, too.)
Is that right abt Elizabeth Edwards? I totally missed that…
And EXCELLENT question - when ARE we going to stop blaming the women for their husbands’ wanderings? It’s ridiculous. So it’s Jenny Sanford’s fault, or Elizabeth’s, or Hillary’s, that they are working their butts off supporting their husbands’ careers (in Jenny’s case, running his campaign) and taking care of the family?? Damn them - how dare they multitask!
Someone PLEASE tell me how these men even have TIME for these affairs? Seriously - I don’t get it!
I agree, that is a completely offensive comment. Katie Couric is a nobody to me now. She is a complete anti-feminist who uses her position to bring down other women, which I find repugnant in a professional.
Yep and she almost lost her anchor job over it and definitely lost thousands of viewers
And was Couric called in high school, “easy”?. Getting through high school with a focus on scholastics, desiring to be a lawyer, serving on the Children’s Defense Fund, Senator from New York, running for the Democratic nomination for President and now Secretary of State is “frigid”? What do you call Couric, Gov. Sandford, Gov. Spitzer, Craig, Ensign and so many others? Tramps? Is “frigid” in high school leads Ms. Clinton to the dignity and grace she has shown in service to us, then “frigid” is great. How times have changed when sexual response determines character.
Frigid meant she was not an easy sex toy target and would’nt “put out” for every Tom, Dick, and Harry. Back during that time in high school you were labeled by the boys and sometimes by the girls who did put out as either easy or frigid. Like Hillary, I chose frigid too. And like her I did’nt end up umarried and pregnant.
What a great article this is! Great stuff! The remark about “3 in a marriage” made me think of the Princess Diana interview and a similar remark. If there’s such a thing as a “role model” for the 3 in a marriage problem, Jenny Sanford is definitely in the major leagues. This article makes me wonder why our politicians continue to feel the need to present “solid marriages” to the public. It’s not like they need to produce an heir to the throne. Ok, we do have some pseudo-royal families here but the average mayor, congressperson, etc. isn’t a Bush or a Kennedy or a Roosevelt … and who needs or wants a long line of Barney Franks?
So why must we endure this endless public display of the fallen husband, the wounded wife and children, and “the mistress,” complete with endless press conferences, apologies, resignations or public displays of contrition, etc. This guy is a jerk, no doubt about it. But instead of being remembered for not wanting to take stimulus dollars, he’ll be remembered for l’affaire Argentina. It’s a goofy time to be alive. Will the Governor and his mistress draw strength from the happiness of Charles and Camilla? Or will his wife finally put a cap and trade on his emissions?
“Cap and trade on his emissions”. Hilarious!
“..a long line of Barney Franks?”
Yikes! I got an instant image of a chain of oddly shaped liberal link sausages. Ick.
“happiness of Charles & Camilla” -
Only if Jenny gets done in .
You cannot compare Hillary to these other wives,Bill was president not a govenor or senator. Hillary protected Bill, she would rather take the blame then him. Especially during the Flowers thing when she said I don’t sit home and bake cookies. The advisors for Bill needed to take the heat off him, so they told Hillary to go out there and she did and then the attacks were now on her for that statement.
During that interview the look on Bill’s face was priceless it was a big ass grin like that’s my wife don’t mess with her. During the impeachment everyone was saying maybe Bill should resign, but Hillary and Ickes told him to stop feeling sorry and fight.
Bill did not honor his vows, but Hillary did through better or worse. Unlike elizabeth and jenny who continue to talk about it, hillary made a statement and left it at that. She wanted to move on and not put Chelsea through more than she had to.
I agree, you really can’t compare Hillary’s situation to Jenny Sanford’s. But both women show strength in different ways.
Not to quibble, but wasn’t the Gennifer Flowers affair while Bill was Governor of Arkansas?
Of course, I think Hillary has a tremendous amt of class, and has conducted herself very well, but she DOES mention it - like during the Primaries when she was asked abt a difficult time in her life. She made it clear that EVERYONE knew when the hardest time was in her life. It was a quite moving response, in fact, but she DOES acknowledge that it happened.
This JUST came out abt Sanford - you don’t think Jenny has a bit of a right to giver HER view since it is national news? Is she just supposed to sit quietly by? I don’t think so. It’s not like this has been going on for MONTHS - it hasn’t even been a WEEK yet! And Elizabeth hasn’t gone on and on abt it, either.
The point is, all three women handled it the best they could at the time. Jenny is showing a lot of strength and fight - for herself, her kids, and yes, even for her marriage. She’s sure not taking it lying down, nor should she.
Jenny can do what is best for her family,if it is best handled in the public more power to her.
Elizabeth did go on and on about it. She went on Larry King, Oprah, Keith Olbermann and the today show. Barely even discussing anyting else in her book.
Onofre arm’s how do you know what goes on in Hill and Bill’s marriage.Hillary did not know about Monica that is why she went on the today show to say the republicans were trying to take Bill down,becasue he said he did not do it. Later that night Bill said he did have an affair. Hillary knew about the past affairs and handled it her way.
I am upset because Hillary,Gilda,Vitter’s wife,and Craig’s wife are being portrayed as submissive,pushover, stepford wives. They stood by there husbands when they admitted what they did and handled it privately. They handled it the best way for them and their families the same way Jenny and Elizabeth are handling it the best way for them and their familes. Just becasue they did not give interviews or call their husbands names does not mean they conded or allowed it to happen. It did come up doing the primaries,but Hillary handled it the way she always does she referenced it and moved on. What is wrong with handling it that way was she supposed to give them all the details of what happened. Was she supposed to say her toughest time was wondering what to wear on Bill’s inguration. Maybe it is still painful for her to deal with in public.
You are giving Jenny respect for the way she handled it give that same respect to the other wives on the way they handled it. Becasue not one women will handle it the way you and others want them to. Were you supporting that college student asking Chelsea about the her dad’s affair.Chelsea did not answer it was she being a pushover or submissive daughter.
I agree Jenny Sanford should not be talking about the situation. I have the feeling she is not doing much talking to him personally and is primarily speaking to him through these statements and interviews. She did the right thing by turning things upside down and telling him to leave their residence.
It’s important to remove yourself from him or her, but the mistake Jenny Sanford is making is sending these messages declaring her love for him and stating that her goal is to resume the marriage. He needs to be wondering and worrying that he may be losing his family. With her continuous assurances she is there waiting for him to come to his senses, he is no doubt still emotionally involved with the other woman. There is no worry about the wife being there.
Listening to him Wednesday night he kept saying how he had hurt his wife and sons. He never said the affair was over or that he wanted his wife and family. He only said it would be a long process to get to the resolution. Getting back together with his wife or getting a divorce could fit the resolution.
He even spoke sorrowfully about ‘hurting’ the woman from Argentina. At this point he is very much like the way a man in his position was described to me years ago: “He is like a bird with one wing up and one wing down. Not only does he not know where he is going, no one else knows either.”
Thanks for a great article– so respectful of Mrs. Sanford and her children. She is a wonderful role model for women on the receiving end of such callous,and humiliating treatment by cads like Mark Sanford. Having been there myself, I am always furious when I see the victims in these situations criticized as though they are somehow to blame. Each woman has to choose her own best way of handling
a husband’s infidelity, especially when children are involved. As for the Governor, if he cannot be trusted by his family, how can the citizens of SC have any faith in him?
It would not be accurate to lump Hillary into the catagory of wives that were blindsided by their husband’s infidelity. Hillary stood by Bill in the Gennifer Flowers apology interview during the campaign. Even the Flowers affair was not a suprise for Hillary, remember the whole branch of the campaign devoted to putting a cork in the bimbo eruptions? No, Hillary publicly stood by Bill through Flowers, Lewinsky, and all the others because she was used to, and accepting of, his serial philandering. She and Bill have an understanding or an unwritten contract on the subject (maybe they also have a written contract, who knows), theirs is a different kind of marriage it seems. I always got the impression that Hillary was more angry at Bill for being stupid enough to get caught and the scandal it created, than she was for his act of infidelity.
Jenny Sanford’s reaction and treatment of the situation reminds me of the reaction of William Holden’s wife in the movie “Network”. In less than ten minutes of screen time, Holden’s wife perfectly expressed the anger and hurt she felt by his marital betrayal, and the powerful impact of her dialogue was so greatly enhanced by the flawless performance of actress Beatrice Straight, that she deservedly won the Oscar for best supporting actress. Again, in less than ten minutes of screen time. I remember when I watched it the first time, that after her performance, she appeared so huge, and Holden so small, that it almost seemed as though the camara work was creating that illusion.
Similarly, Jenny Sanford now towers over her wilting husband. However, if she is seeking reconciliation, she should be careful to not push it too hard, she doesn’t want to beat him down to the point where he is a severely damaged man, and not worth taking back. The profound wisdom and value of forgiving is that it benefits the forgiver more than the forgiven.
Dang, I should read all of the comments before responding - sorry abt that…If recall correctly, the reports at the TIME claimed that Hillary had no idea abt Monica, and was blindsided by that news.
But I get your point, especially abt Jenny, and think you are right abt her stature.
I think a law should be passed that if a politican is caught having an affair the spouse will assume the postion of the cheat until the term is up.
Hillary did not know about monica. Hillary has always protected Bill when anyone. attacks him. That is what she does. Hillary did not accept his cheating she honored her vows. You know the ones stanford wants to keep away from the gays. I am sure that hillary finds it amusing at the jokes made at her expense because bill cheated or he cannot even be in the same area as another woman and then the rumors start.
Some years back I heard the best description of Hillary and Bill’s relationship that in many ways described my own:
“She brings order to his chaos and he brings chaos to her order.”
From everything I have ever read about their relationship from people who knew them best, the Clintons genuinely and passionately care about each other, regardless of Bill’s bad behavior. Neither of them could ever find anyone else that would hold a candle in satisfying the Clintons shared primary passion which is the political mind of the other. When you live and breathe something like politics, that is a huge bond.
You make it sound so romantic. Abelard and Heloise couldn’t hold a candle to the Clintons.
Excellent post, RRRAmy. I really feel for this woman, and feel complete disdain for her arrogant husband. May he go down in political flames. There are plenty of bible verses he can cite to accompany his demise.
Here we have a wonderful example of an adult. A woman who puts her children first, her dignity as a human being second, and rescuing her pathetic husband in its rightful place.
Come back here to Illinois, Jenny, we could use a strong woman Republican in the Senate or to run for governor.
Obama wants sex ed in kindergarten. They push condoms and abortions. The bible is a deadly weapon and kept 100 yards from school children. But when this happens, it is sin? On what basis? Not biblical teaching in pubic schools. Schools teach the only thing wrong is no condom.
Sanford is disgusting. He sure isn’t a David. He sure didn’t read the bible. King David was the poster child for a dysfunctional home even after repentence. The shameless hussy in Argentina doesn’t have any morality either.
Class Act. Jenny Sullivan Sanford is an exception, where she should be the rule. We need more of this sort of individual in both parties. SC wouldn’t be too far off the mark if they offered her his job. And gave him a one-way ticket to Argentina. Jenny, buy a house in California, um, there’ll be a governor position available.
Hu, I was just thinking that what Jenny has shown makes her a FAR better contender for the office of Governor than her husband. I know there have been instances in which wives have taken over their husbands’ offices, but I assume the Lt. Gov. might have something to say for it. Still, while I am guessing she and I might differ on some political points, I have been impressed by the way she has conducted herself.
And along those lines, r2d2 and Diana, I hear you, and I appreciate your point of view. You’ll notice that I have intentionally NOT published the content of the emails Mark sent to Maria (though a part was read in a video I had up the other day). It was just too intimate and personal, I thought, to be in the public forum. It was never intended to be, obviously. BUT - this affair is out there, and since Jenny is willing to give her perspective, I think she deserves the space to do so (same with Elizabeth or any other woman whose husband has humiliated her publicly). That is to say, Mark is the last person I want to hear on this (and yeah - King David he most certainly is not), but having a strong woman wiling to speak out, stand up for herself, and her children, is welcome, especially in the immediate aftermath.
After reading a few lines of the story, I feel like a peeping tom in the private lives of people that’s none of my business. Evidently people don’t have enough on their plate that they want to gossip about other people’s intimacies.
I agree; I liked it better when the news organizationa kept an arms length away from pols’ private lives, ecxept if the private life was against the law or damaged the pols’ ability to do his job. And the gory details are just not things I want to know.
Watch soap operas if you need that kind of “entertainment.”
The newspaper that received the e-mails several months ago didn’t print them. Sanford’s affair didn’t go public until he stupidly pulled up stakes and fled to another country. Indeed, unless Jenny Sanford had booted him out months ago the story of the affair may never have come to light at all.
This is not a story just about sex. You have to tell a kid to call home if he/she can’t come home by curfew. A grown man should know that disappearing into thin air and leaving his constituents hanging for five days is an immature and bizarre thing to do.
Yes, I agree. It’s none of our business.
None of us really know the heart of another.
Prince William and Camille are a mystery to those who admired Diana.
Love causes people to do things that appear incomprehensible to others.
Jenny Sanford has now established a new standard for political wives; up until now, it was the expected thing to do to stand beside your cheating husband while he begged for forgiveness. No more. Wives will now claim the “Jenny Sanford” position and stand down from their utter humiliation.
Good for her. I admire her character, and her strength and focus on her sons. I will tell you that I suspect a great amount of her strength of character, and her conviction to throw him out of the home, comes from those 4 sons being absolutely furious with their father.
I think Sanford’s finished. Oh, he’ll continue to paddle on down the stream for a while, but he’ll find it hard to gain any ground after this episode. He might as well call it quits and move to Argentina.
Well, after all, that IS what he wanted wasn’t it?
Sexual misconduct is nobody’s business unless it effects the way the person in question fulfills his/her duties in office. The media loves salacious stories, particularly if the story in question helps whichever party they happen to favor.
That their choice to repeat the story ad-nausum hurts innocent people is of no consequence. That Gov Standers has run his mouth off and insists on providing more information than his constituents need about his private affair, only adds to the humiliation.
He loves talk about the affair. That could mean: 1) He thinks he will be forgiven if he opens up completely or 2) He is seriously infatuated with this woman. #2 is what I believe. In which case, her efforts to reconcile will fail. This is not like Vitter and Spitzer who visited prostitutes or Bill Clinton who was not emotionally invested after a tryst.
A long term relationship, not easy to arrange and fraught with danger of discovery, leads me to believe he has deep feelings for her.
Actually it wasn’t until I read sanfords letters that I relized how shallow supposed deep feelings are. you know the deep kind that parents are supposed to have for their kids, instead they leave them on fathers day to have sex wth someone they presently find attractive. Infatuation is not deep, it’s strong and fleeting especially when something called reality sets in.
And to be honest I don’t think Jenny is all that suprised he wsn’t hiking in fact I think she knew he wasn’t hiking and refused to cover him. To this day I think it’s really damn comvienct how Sanfords letters popped up so quickly I think our first lady has a lot of hidden spunk. And when you have man with children who are dealing with a new speration and he runs off to have sex with his mistress when he should have been spending father’s day with them, yeah i might send a few letters and the pretend to be suprise when they end up in the State Newspaper. yes I am judging Mark Sanford. He’s a jerk who, next! And no i don’t put stock in feelings. When you have minor children you put them ahead of your gonads which is why i don’t have them. But you also put them ahead of vindictive delight, but i’ll give Jenny a pass on this one.
I’m proud of Mrs. Sanford, she’s not standing by her unfaithful man who refuses to change, she wants to make it work for the kids, but she’s not going to be his door mat either and I’m loving it.
Personally I hope our dear beloved Mark resigns, we can fed ex him to argentina next week if he likes. Cause i’m all for two people who deserve each other being together. let see how deep those feelings are when reality child support and alimony sets in.
kgirl, I am in no way defending that pig and I hope he is forced to resign by the people of SC.
Notice I said nothing about love. Infatuation is a different thing, but when an affair lasts as long as this one apparently did, it is more than simple lust. He is invested in some way with this woman. It may just be an ego thing, but whatever. He went to Argentina even after his wife and the newspapers were aware so he was willing to risk too much and the emotion he displayed in the press conference didn’t seem to be only remorse.
I was giving my opinion on the chances this marriage will end in divorce. It’s sometimes easier to keep a marriage intact when one partner is a serial philanderer since that doesn’t preclude real love for the spouse. Betrayal hurts in all of it’s forms, but only twenty two percent of marriages where infidelity occurs end in divorce so seventy eight percent survive.
Sanford’s wife is an independent, strong woman and how she handles public humiliation will be determined by what she believes is best for her children and herself.
That’s exactly what happened here. The man up and left his family and his constituents and ran off to another country. When he was confronted by a reporter at the Atlanta airport he feigned surprise that his mysterious absence turned into such a big deal. The man has demonstrated that he inhabits a parallel universe. He is beyond irresponsible and careless.
Who cares! With all that is really going on in the world and with the lack of women’s rights, is this story (which is hardly unique) worth this much thought and conversation! I don’t think so. Marriage is really not a “sacred institution.” The Church only got involved around the 1400’s in it. It really is a financial and social arrangement–still is in many parts of the world. Even as far as Christian and Western history is concerned, the extra-marital activities of a husband were not considered to be acts of infidelity. The whole focus of marriage has historically been on the lineage of the paternal line–for financial reasons. (Men wanted to know that only their off-spring were getting their money and property.) Now with DNA testing even that excuse is no longer warranted. Marriage just ain’t necessary and it ain’t what it’s cracked up to be….
Kudos to Jennie Sanford; finally a wife with self-esteem. That King David remark makes me sick; David ended up marrying Bathsheba and bringing her into his home, while keeping his other wives. My impression is that the Gov. will leave his wife and/or she will divorce him, because when one has raging male menopause, there is no stopping the surging hormones. This guy doesn’t even care about his children; his mistress comes first. I am sick and tired of hormonne raging men running this country. Bring on the women.
” I can say that the First Lady may be a woman scorned, but she sure isn’t taking it lying down. Too bad these other women didn’t have the “luxury” of knowing about THEIR husbands affairs beforehand, too - maybe SNL wouldn’t have heaped more insult to the injury.”
C’mon Amy, you don’t think Hillary wasn’t aware of Bill’s philandering ways? Give me a break. Hillary isn’t stupid nor naive. The woman knew what that louse was doing. She’d have to be deaf, dumb and blind not to see it or know about his wandering lust. Please don’t insult her in such a way.
Hillary long ago accepted the fact that her husband couldn’t be satisfied in a minogomous relationship. To live with a man such as Bill Clinton takes an extremely tolerable individual. That’s one of her strengths not weaknesses. Power is an aphrodisiac, something many of us will never know, thank God, but it’s something that absolutely comes with the territory.
Mrs. Sanford simply drew a line in the sand and said don’t go there. She is sticking with her convictions. Applause. But other political wives have come to accept the fact that affairs are simply a part of their lives.
Is this acceptable? Hell no! But it is part and parcel of the sick symptomology that plagues this country’s leadership. Like it or not.
meant to say “like it or not” hell yes!
How did she “draw a line in the sand” when she found out about the affair 5 months ago? She did not leave him then but tried to work it out. She only told him to leave 2 weeks ago. If you read between the lines an ultimatium was issued to him to end the affair and he did not. That is why she indicated she was hoping he was not in Argentina. Stop trying to make a heroine out of a person who is trying to make a right decision for herself and her family during a really emotional time. Stop the Hillary hatred. The Jennifer Flowers “affair” occured 12 years before Clinton sought the presidency. The repubs used it to try to destroy Bill and win the presidency for Bush. They were unsucessful but continue their attacks to this very day.
Finally I am not one to “blame the other woman” but these women know that these men are married. They feel that they can use their sex to break up a marriage or for monetary gain. In many instances, if they were my husband I would not give them the satisfaction of leaving him because of their sl*tty actions.
Wisewoman, I saw part of a Glen Beck show the day this story broke. I had the mute button on because I don’t care much for him, but I noticed a pic of Bill Clinton pop up on the screen.
Every time a Republican politician misbehaves and is found out, FOX drags out a file video of the Bill and Monica hug. No matter how many times this happens, the Democratic party fails to defend the best president the party has had since FDR.
JFK is the one they praise and idolize even though he had many women before and during his presidency. All of the possible scandals which could have been exposed over time, died with him along with any evidence he would have been a great president or even re-elected had he lived.
There is an almost palpable hated of Pres Clinton even among members of his own party and it’s impossible to believe this is based on his infidelity. They never tried to investigate charges GWB had raped one woman and possibly an underage girl. I believe the woman killed herself.
There are highways and airports all across the country named after Reagan and JFK. Bill Clinton was and is still very popular and governed better than either of those two. I’ve never understood this really.
I was at a dinner party Saturday night and every Man and woman in the room said they would Vote for Mrs. Sanford.
The Lady has CLASS.
I’ve commented before on how Sanford’s chief sin was not the affair but the erratic, childish and irresponsible behavior. Leaving your state high and dry is inexcusable. Now this. A man begs his wife to allow him to visit his mistress? Again, this is what kids do when their parents ground them.
He needs to go and work out his issues on his own time.
RE: Jenny and Mark Sanford
The guy said he had met his soul mate. He said he was going to “try” to love his wife again. He arranged for her to find his love letter. She ordered him to end the affair. She ordered him not to see the other woman again. She’s trying to preserve the relationship “for the sake of their sons”.
You can’t tell someone who to love and who not to love. Stuff happens! You can be a good father and still be a divorced husband.
The best thing that Jenny can do if she wants to be with her husband in the future is to let him go. If not, he will pine and embellish in his mind ‘what could have been’.
There are two things that make this more exciting than a 20-year comfortable relationship with kids in the house. 1/THE CHASE and 2/IT IS A CLANDESTINE RELATIONSHIP.
There is that remote chance that she is his “soul-mate”. Chances are, though, that once he can be out openly with his “soul-mate” it will become humdrum and he will once again appreciate the family values.
Personally, I would not want a man to “try” to love me again while he’s aching for his “soul-mate”. I would say ..adios, arrivederci,sayonara, so long, and good bye…don’t let the doorknob hit you where the good Lord split you. Go out in the world and be happy. You only go around once in this life and if you want to do this with “Maria”, go for it. As for me, I’ll be taking care of me and mine!!