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Alan Greenspan’s shorts

By Uppity Woman on April 14, 2009 at 9:45 AM in Economic Stimulus, Economy

alangreenspanmakesremarkseconomychicago-s

Susan interrupts: Did that scare you?!?!?! I found that photo the other day, and just had to share it! Now for Uppity’s article:

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Here’ s alan_greenspan200 Casper Greenpants Alan ‘The Federal Reserve is above the law” Greenspan helping you wave goodbye to your life savings. He’s doing just fine, thank you.

He has declared that he now knows the definitive predictor of how things are going with the economy.

The Gift From God, Alan Greenspan, whom the Lord Himself created just to be In Charge. All you have to do is ask Casper and he will tell you so.

The decrepit walking carcass who screwed up the economy by making his stupid senile decisions, probably while sitting in a bathtub with a rubber ducky.

The guy who is currently on his “Don’t Blame Me” tour, the fossil who missed predictors that could have warded off what is happening to our economy today.

The man who presided over the ‘87 market crash, a dot com bubble and a housing bubble, neither of which he bothered seeing on the horizon, and got himself a little something while everybody else sunk.

The fossilized eccentric who did nothing for a living for nearly a decade but lower interest rates every quarter, until finally, one more cut from this fool and those of us who saved money would have had to pay the banks to save our money for us. The guy who basically said Well Golly I guess I Goofed Up, So Screw All Of You.

greenspansshortsWould you like to know the Gift From God’s definitive predictor for how the economy is going now?

Men’s underwear.

That’s right, folks. The old fart who was the most powerful man in the world for decades, without even being elected, needs to ask Andrea to put some Ginkgo Biloba in his baby food. He is currently monitoring sales of men’s shorts.

“If you look at sales of male underpants it’s just pretty much a flat line, it hardly ever changes,” Krulwich recounted after the publishing of Greenspan’s book, “The Age Of Turbulence.” “But on those few occasions where it dips that means that men are so pinched that they are deciding not to replace underpants. And [Greenspan] said ‘that is almost always a prescient, forward impression that here comes trouble.’”

Thanks you old fossil. Like we needed you to tell us that shit has hit the fan after you worked on helping to make it happen for a number of years.

May none of us ever have to see this perpetually remiss crackpot in his underwear for real. I myself just know I would go blind. But you can bet that Casper Greenpants can afford to replace his dribble-stained shorts every day with brand new ones, because he is just one more in a long line of overpaid, overrated on-the-take DC misfiring big shots who is doing just fine for himself after having screwed up your life.

Alan Greenspan, Central Bankers’ and NWO bag man. I can’t decide whether he belongs in jail or a nursing home. Wanna see Alan go Commando? Blind yet?

Check out this big shot telling you he’s above the law at 7:40

Now check out the old bastard telling us about his “flaw” in decisions he made regarding the economy that he helped to screw up royally. You can bet Alan is very well financially set, though. Count on it.

Somebody put him in a home.

***Alan in his shorts by Freedom Fairy. She removed the pee stains.

  • tek

    Alan Greenspan is not so much stupid as corrupt. He aided and abetted the destruction of the economy because he got rich.

    • Butter

      As much as I dislike Alan Greenspan and his culpability, I say, in the economic problems we have today, (have you read how the Fed issued a paper encouraging the relaxation of the underwriting of mortgages?) your statement is a reversal of cause and effect. A thief does not want money because he is rich. He wants money to become rich or richer. What Greenspan’s motive was – power or money – is open to question, but I do know that the cause and effect relationship has to be in the right order.

  • wodiej

    Wow, more shit hitting the fan. Greenspan is a moron but thanks UW for putting some humorous lines in the story to soften the harsh reality. These people walked off w the store and no one is doing shit to them.

  • tminu

    I think humans split off evolutionarily by character a long time ago. We just can’t keep up with the evildoer club, still trying to wrap our arms around the hugeness of their contempt for humanity while they say “that was not a bow” and we debate that and they snicker because we still can’t grasp how huge and horrible the “club” members really are.
    So we know the Fed gave away $2 trillion to “someone” for some reason”…nobody will say what…the hugeness of contempt for Americans is unfathomable. No wonder they refer to us as chattering masses and smelly tourists, trillions in theft is incomprehensible. Might as well go big!

  • http://Godhelpusall lee M

    I wish he would depart for parts unknown and take Andrea with him. IMO they are both leeches on the American body politic and we would be better off without them.

    He brought more trouble to the American people than anyone else in a long while, and shouldn’t be allowed to run around loose. His stupid decsions have wrought a havoc that we’ll probably never get over. He should be in jail, or at least penalized to the point that he not be allowed to enjoy the riches that he gained by ruining us.

  • Sassy

    Well, they took the shirts off our backs!
    Now, they are going for our drawers!
    Where to hide my money now?

  • http://www.dwarfhamster.com dst

    He not only got rich but also manipulated the technology boom to extend an extra 2-3 years. Had he not, the small recession that Cheney used to help convince enough voters to abandon the Clinton to Gore succession would have occurred earlier and we would have been coming out of it by 2000 guarantying Gore a victory. You may not believe it but I did and b/c of it got to retire at 48, 10 years earlier than planned. If I remember correctly the NASDAQ was at 10,000+ in 01/00 and down to 2800 pre election, not by chance.

  • I’m a Linda too

    Are we supposed to be guessing “What Alan Greenspan has…left in his shorts?”

  • Ani

    Thanks, Uppity, for another great piece. The laughter at your wit in your righteous rant helps take away the pain for a moment at what this man has cost us.

    As per usual, there is no accountability. Who is going after him? I guarantee that in all the upcoming tea parties, no one is out there with a placard that says “roast Alan Greenspan.”

  • I’mFedUp

    Great piece. Alan and Andrea? Contemptible couple. I will never forgive HER for her nasty reporting during the “selection.” Never mind what Mr. Underpants has done to our economy.

  • Tricia Spiegel

    He needed taken to task, Uppity! Good job. I recall seeing an interview where he “didn’t see the housing crisis coming down so hard.” Huh? I know nothing about economics and I knew there was going to be hell to pay when people could buy homes they couln’t afford with no money down and a big surprise, rate-wise, down the line.

    And I don’t blame the people either. They were encouraged by realtors and loan companies to do it, promising big equity earnings.

    I know some of these people. They are without a place to live and broke.

    That this was coming was SOOOOOOOOOO obvious!

  • karen

    He belongs IN JAIL! Along with the rest of the TRAITORS in our GOVERNMENT!

  • Mercedes

    If we can’t throw ripe tomatoes and rotten eggs, then reading a piece like this from Uppity Woman is a satisfying substitute.

    Not long ago I stumbled across a bargain book by So Meth Un economist, Ravi Batra, titled “Greenspan’s Fraud”. For some reason, it caught my eye. Dr Batra writes like the academic he is, but he sums up Greenspan’s record clearly enough for me to understand.

    He says, “”…Alan Greenspan first came to prominence in 1974, when a Republican president and a Democratic Congress appointed him CEA chairman. The appointment turned out to be ominous for working families, because the real production wage crested and the number of destitute Americans bottomed that year before. 1974 thus established a landmark for the US economy and society, as it set the tone for things to come.”

    He also mentions that, when the book was published in 2005, Canada and Western Europe, unlike the US, had yet to see a major drop in real wages and benefits. A few days ago, LisaB, I think, had a blog on how the rise in gasoline prices last summer damaged European economies much more than the US economy.

    The degree of rise in gasoline prices last summer was totally artificial. Considered together with the unbelievable chain of events leading to the collapse of the US mortgage market and beyond, the only thing I can conclude is that a lot of what has been happening has been planned over a long period and Obama is the front man for this whole operation.

    I wonder who Greenspan’s political sponsors have been over the years. Could Dick Cheney be one of them?