Are you overweight? Get ready to be the next global warming, energy and health care target
By Uppity Woman on April 23, 2009 at 8:45 PM in Current Affairs
Your government is getting ready to tell you a bit more loudly that if you are overweight, you are to blame for energy waste and Global Warming, which are caused by cars, smoking unless it’s the president, living, cow farts, inhaling, exhaling, driving to work 30 miles away, cooking, heating your home in winter, turning on a light food production.
In fact, did you know that if you eat tomatoes, you suck because they are not energy efficient? No kidding. Tomatoes don’t give back as much as they take. They are a very selfish vegetable that shouldn’t be allowed to contribute to ice cap melting caused by food production. In fact, one author thinks tomatoes and anything else that takes too much energy to grow should be priced accordingly.
Tomato production in the US consumes four times as many calories as the calorific value of the tomatoes created
(Photo of sucky tomato)

So if you eat tomatoes, you are a problem, even if you aren’t obese. Thin people who eat tomatoes suck too. Ironically, tomatoes aren’t fattening, but you still suck if you eat them, even if you aren’t overweight. Stop it.
And If you are overweight, you eat too much but not as much as Michael Phelps and contribute to that bane of Climate known as food production. Food production is bad and it causes Global Warming. Stop it.
It’s your turn. Because everybody is going to get a turn unless you are a Congressperson or a Senator. Then you can eat all the tomatoes you want and be as fat as you please. But for now, it’s your turn if you are overweight. Furthermore, you are about to join smokers in being a resented problem related to the cost of health care. You are also more dependent on cars, therefore you use too much gasoline. Skinny people use bicycles even in the middle of winter.
Oh My…. more bad news for those (34% of Americans) who are obese.
In a study released by researchers at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine scientists found that overweight people emit more carbon emissions than slim people, because they consume more food and fuel.
The study pointed a finger at the increased demand for livestock production for meat. Cows emit toxic methane. The research also sited higher dependency on cars as a contributing factor.
…snip…
“The heavier our bodies become the harder and more unpleasant it is to move about in them and the more dependent we become on our cars.”
Make no mistake. Your Caring Congress and Senate are about to declare you a Public Health hazard if you have those extra pounds. Bet you thought your turn wouldn’t come eh? Your carbon footprint is too damned big. Not as big as Al Gore’s, with his airplane and mansion, but nevermind. Eating is over-rated. Take up something else, like maybe drinking or drugs or something. Whatever, just so long as you get thin.
LONDON (Reuters) – Overweight people eat more than thin people and are more likely to travel by car, making excess body weight doubly bad for the environment, according to a study from the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine.
“When it comes to food consumption, moving about in a heavy body is like driving around in a gas guzzler,” and food production is a major source of greenhouse gases, researchers Phil Edwards and Ian Roberts wrote in their study, published in the International Journal of Epidemiology.
“We need to be doing a lot more to reverse the global trend toward fatness, and recognize it as a key factor in the battle to reduce (carbon) emissions and slow climate change,” the British scientists said.
They estimated that each fat person is responsible for about one tonne of carbon dioxide emissions a year more on average than each thin person, adding up to an extra one billion tonnes of CO2 a year in a population of one billion overweight people.
Just to help you along, a “Sweet tax” is being bantered around. Because your government doesn’t care about the revenue or anything, they just care about you. Right?
A penny-per-ounce tax on sugary drinks could help fight obesity by cutting consumption and raising billions of dollars to help state and local governments pay for programs, two experts said on Wednesday
—-snip—-
This could help offset some of the costs that drinking too many soft drinks has imposed on society, they said.
“The contribution of unhealthful diets to healthcare costs is already high and is increasing — an estimated $79 billion is spent annually for overweight and obesity alone — and approximately half of these costs are paid by Medicare and Medicaid, at taxpayers’ expense,” they wrote.
“Sugar-sweetened beverages may be the single largest driver of the obesity epidemic,” they added.
“For each extra can or glass of sugared beverage consumed per day, the likelihood of a child’s becoming obese increases by 60 percent.”
But whatever you do, don’t stop eating sweets once this tax is imposed. If you do, your government will have to find another thing to tax. Like sleeping. Or flushing your toilet. Or eating, period. In fact, we could all save the planet right now if we would all stop exhaling and just shoot ourselves in the head and get rid of our carbon footprint entirely. Of course, this won’t stop the delivery of Wagyu beef to the White House.
Barring that, don’t worry. Monsanto is going to come up with acceptable special genetically altered mutant things for you to eat right after they put small farmers out of business via Rep DeLauro’s bill, HR 875. Ms DeLauro is the wife of a Monsanto consultant, but I wouldn’t want you to think that has anything to do with it. This will also move along a lot faster now that Monsanto’s guy took over the USDA. But don’t worry, it will taste just like real food! Organic gardening is so over-rated! Especially the tomatoes!
While it’s true that America has a lot of obese people, it would be really nice if they studied how many of them are poor unlike Ted Kennedy and are forced to eat cheaply, which means plenty of carbs–which can cause obesity. But nevermind. We can just kill them all and convert them into an alternative energy source or something, right?
In the meantime, I am sure somebody in our government is studying how in Japan, people get weighed regularly and can lose their jobs if they go above their optimal weight. Bet you think I’m bullcrapping you, right? Wrong.
Corporate Japan will join the country’s battle against bulging waistlines next month with the introduction of compulsory “flab checks” for the over-40s and penalties for firms that fail to bring their employees’ weight under control
……snip……
According to reports, firms will be required to cut the number of overweight workers and their dependants by 10% by 2012. Those that fail to reach the targets face surcharges of up to 10% on contributions to a welfare fund for the elderly.
Now I know that would be unconstitutional here if you still have a job, but that silly constitution is nothing but an annoyance anyways. Why keep it?
Here’s MeMe Roth of Meddlers and Zealots Anonymous teaching NOAA minding your own business for you, equating eating to smoking, and teaching others how to create Eating Disorders in children after they start sneaking the treats. Just so you know the food-mirror-image of the anti-smoking, anti-gay, anti-anything you do that I don’t do lobby is on its way to your theater soon.
Embedding disabled. LOL. Here’s the link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72ScWxTxEQQ

















