RSS Feed for This PostCurrent Article

Touching me Touching you – So many ways to meet a swine

By NewHampster on May 2, 2009 at 3:55 PM in Current Affairs, Influenza Pandemic

Don’t Touch that dial!  Use your sleeve to open that door!  Use Purell, wash your hands.  Don’t touch your face. 

Stay at home locked in a bubble. 

Touching me, touching you.   How many ways are there to touch each other?

Seriously.

Yes, I am a Red Sox fan and Sweet Caroline is our song that replaced the dearly loved Tessie due to political correctness.

 

But today I wanted to write to those who fear the touch.  In reality you are screwed so why bother.

Today I got to work and made my coffee grabbing the bag of Pete’s.  Who may have touched that bag while it was on the shelf?  When the coffee was ready i retreated to my office, sat down and pulled out the banana I brought from home.  Who touched that banana, what snotty nosed kid picked it up and put it back?

Come on, let’s all think of what we touched today.  I even used my Purell today after putting the gas nozel in my car.  Then I went into the store and grabbed a coke from the cooler and a pre-packaged sandwich(fresh today).  I touched the handle of the door walking into the store then the handle of the coke case and the coke bottle itself.  Then i picked up two or three sandwiches before deciding to take the roast beast.  3 more touches.  Then the real biggie.

I reached in my pocket and pulled out my cash.  Yeah, that stuff must be real clean.  Gave the check out guy my $10 and took change back.  A couple of bucks, a nickel and a penny or two.  Oy how many touches was that encounter with a guy who touches a boatload of people every day?

But back to work.  I touched my bosses keyboard when I had to fix his latest brain fart then I touched my intern’s keyboard in order to start a new process i was showing him. 

I came home to meet a plumber who is here now trying to take my last dollar.  While he’s fixing a toilet for more than it would cost to replace it, I went and got the mail.  Ah, the mail person touched my mailbox handle but the mail peeps along the way also touched my mail.  Better put on gloves before I open the mail.

Is it just me or do you see the futility of trying to avoid the flu?  No I won’t be touching strangers in the subway or asking the person in the elevator to cough my direction but beyond the extremely obvious I think there is only so much we can do.  It’s like the WHO official I heard on the radio said.  Perhaps the only really truthful thing I’ve heard this week.  He said that trying to contain the virus is a waste of resources, we have to put our money into the comfort of those who catch it.

I’ll go further.  I never wash my coffee cup at work.  I rinse it.  I don’t wash the coffee pot either.  Growing up, my family had a community cup in the bathroom that we all used to rinse our mouths with.  Now that is gross.

I rarely get sick and I am convinced that those who raise their kids and themselves to avoid germs are the ones who get sick most often.  We are social animals and we need to share our immunities and our pathogens.

Oh yeah.  I never wash my hands after using the public restroom because one, I’m a lazy ass guy and two, I think the towel holder or hair dryer are both filthier than my dinky.

Cross posted from Partizane.com

  • NewHampster

    Yeah, sometimes I call it a talleywhacker and of course he has a name but the point being, I’m one of those millions of guys who don’t wash after every pee. I sort of crack up watching men wash their hands like a surgeon, then use the filthy air dryer before walking out and puling the door open with the hand they just washed, just so they can go handle even dirtier money to pay for the lunch wrapped by a snot nosed kid.

    • http://noquarter foxyladi14

      lol.you are right.i used to go to bingo and the line at the wash basin was always long.lol
      of i didn’t wash my hands they looked at me like i was typhoid mary….

  • NewHampster

    Excellent Gail Collins piece on Joe Biden

    NY Times

    The swine flu scare has made it clear why Barack Obama picked Joe Biden for vice president.

  • NewHampster

    and one more thing. I do wash my hands after working in the compost pile or just using my garden gloves.

  • politicalidentitycrisis

    This is just a distraction. Soemthing worse is coming and they don’t want you to know about it!

  • oowawa

    I assume some folks remember the wonderful 1962 film David and Lisa starring Keir Dullea (of 2001 fame) as David, and the unforgettable Janet Margolin as Lisa. David is a young man who cannot stand to touch or be touched–in effect a bubble-boy without a bubble. They meet in a home for the mentally disturbed. Inasmuch as David is not a total rock, adorable Lisa gradually draws him out so that he can actually touch another human. It is a very “touching” film.

    NewHampster, your statement could serve as a “moral” or subtext for this movie:

    I rarely get sick and I am convinced that those who raise their kids and themselves to avoid germs are the ones who get sick most often. We are social animals and we need to share our immunities and our pathogens.

    A thoughtful and humorous article!

    • NewHampster

      thank you

    • andrew 191

      In the 80′s I owned a video store in a small mini-mall right next to a health food store. Watching patrons of the health food store come and go I began to realize that most of them looked ill. They were pale, skinny, they had sunken eyes, and their hair was patchy. They looked as though they were on their LAST LEGS! So did the OWNER! I had 911 set on speed dial in case one of them collapsed while comparing brands of seaweed tablets. When you go to McDonalds you are more likely to see big, strapping, truck driver types. I know I’m generalizing, but I always thought it was an amusing comparison.

      Children almost need to be thrown into the most unsanitary situations if they don’t do it themselves. The exposure to all kinds of crud builds their immunity. Keeping them in sterile situations too long will weaken the natural response to infections that their bodies need, and relatively harmless illnesses that children get are sometimes very serious if contracted as an adult (like chicken pox). There is much wisdom in the saying “Whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger”.

  • Peggy Sue

    Gee Hamspter, I wish you hadn’t told us that you don’t wash your hands after using the public restroom.

    That’s a little too much information :0).

    But I agree that freaking out over this flu is starting to look silly. I had a conversation with one of my kids yesterday. My son’s company in Philly has cancelled all travel because of the flu. And one of the bosses who’s been with the company 41 years, had her retirement party cancelled because of the flu.

    And though Philadephia is reporting 3 cases locally, Pennsylvania isn’t on the “confirmed case” list the last time I looked.

    My son asked: what am I missing???

    I think it’s overblown panic at this point. Does caution make sense? Yeah, if you get it don’t go to work and spread it around. If you’re sneezing and wheezing, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t cough on me. But beyond wearing Hazmat suits, I think we need to realize we live in a roiling sea of germs.

    I’m just glad we can’t see them with the naked eye. Now, that would be freaky!

    • NewHampster

      sometimes too much info. is just enough. I do think I’m in the majority of men by the way. I don’t ask directions either.

      • oowawa

        I remember reading a study long ago, and the finding was that men pretty much always washed their hands after using the public restroom, provided there was someone else present to notice them.

        If the restroom was empty–forget about it! Washing percentages dropped WAY down . . .

        • Benjamin Franklin Berfle

          Most public restrooms are so filthy, you take chance WHEN you use the sink and faucet. I keep dilute chlorox-wetted wipes in my vehicle.

          • oowawa

            HaHa Ferd, Good idea. By the way, I find the ladies room is much cleaner.

            OK, I’m just kidding!

            • Benjamin Franklin Berfle

              By the way, I find the ladies room is much cleaner.

              OK, I’m just kidding!

              LMAO. But it would probably be safer than the nasty-ass men’s rooms in some of these gas stations, rest areas, and restaurants. I’d rather go out back behind the foliage than use those facilities (and I do, if they are too filthy).

              • oowawa

                LOL–Now that my mind is thoroughly in the gutter–wouldn’t it make a great coffee-table book for the macho bachelor pad:

                Scroungiest Mensrooms of the American Southwest

                A horrifying realm that women cannot even envision in their darkest nightmares . . .

                • Benjamin Franklin Berfle

                  Yep, The Great American Indoor Outhouse-six inches of water on the floor and none in the toilet or faucets.

      • http://noquarter foxyladi14

        course not.very very few men do;
        i on the other hand have stopped my truck.got out and waved down someone,HELP I.M LOST.can you tell me the way to san jose..lol

    • arran

      Peggy Sue — I agree that I know more than I wanted to know, but at least it wasn’t more about torture.

      Btw, your comments also make me laugh and what’s more I’d bet you wash your hands after using the bathroom.

      • Peggy Sue

        ” . . . what’s more I’d bet you wash your hands after using the bathroom.”

        I do, arran. Cross my heart. It makes me a little queasy that if true–most men don’t wash their hands–and then I go to a restaurant and . . .

        I don’t even want to go there. Ignorance, in this case, will keep me from having an attack of paranoia.

        And yes, this thread is a relief from the torture discussion. Laughing is good for the soul.

        • Janet in Texas

          In a logical world, a man would wash his hands before handling his penis. Think about it a while.

          • oowawa

            There are times when logic takes a back seat to urgency. That might even be in The Bible, or some other authoritative text.

  • Liz

    Some bored programmer called it right from the beginning and set up this quick quiz to tell you if you have swine flu or not. http://www.doihavepigflu.com/

    Even on NQ we had our own scary doctor warning that the Obama administration wasn’t taking this seriously enough! Clearly, he and the village media were hyping this up way way way too much.

    • Peggy Sue

      Made me laugh, Liz. I think I’ll go fry up some bacon.

    • NewHampster

      that bored programmer is getting credit for any masks sold via the link. wish I’d thought of it

  • politicalidentitycrisis

    Well, the whole thing is, wouldn’t it just be best if the flu could be eradicated? That is really what the CDC would like to have happen and it doesn’t happen by allowing it to spread and mutate. Maybe they are making too big a deal out of this one or maybe there is reason to panic and they don’t give out all the details because they don’t want everyone to freak out. If you’ve ever read up on how these bugs can mutate, it’s very interesting and scary. In this kind of situation, I’d rather be safe than sorry. I feel the same way with terror attacks. I’d prefer they be safe than sorry and investigate every serious threat the FBI recieves.

    • Benjamin Franklin Berfle

      Well, the whole thing is, wouldn’t it just be best if the flu could be eradicated?

      Viruses will outlive us all.

    • Elizabeth

      Wasn’t this supposed to be the disease that kills us all — only Obama can save us ?? haha. It’s almost as if people want to be scared.

      Everything I’ve read, though, confirms very little transmission in hard hit areas from known carriers to even family members. Maybe concern is warrented if you live in unsterile, third world conditions where vaccine are not available to help with the disease or the C.D.C. going into action to do preventative measures. I seriously doubt developed countries will be hearing anything about this ‘pandemic’ in two weeks.

  • Benjamin Franklin Berfle

    I rarely get sick and I am convinced that those who raise their kids and themselves to avoid germs are the ones who get sick most often. We are social animals and we need to share our immunities and our pathogens.

    Lack of exposure means lack of any sort of ability to acquire immunity, both individually and collectively. Smallpox and the native American comes to mind.

    I am also disturbed by the use of non-sodium hypochlorite products for topical application to kill bacteria and other organisms. These other, non-bleach products do not kill by destruction (oxidation and chemical reaction) and can render a more potent organism much as the use of antibiotics for non-bacterial organisms has rendered them less effective and have given us the new staphylococcus bacteria that are immune to almost anything we can throw at them.

  • Portia Elizabeth

    New Hampster — that is a very funny piece! I couldn’t agree more. Studies have shown that kids who grow up with pets have fewer allergies because they’ve built up immunities.

    A question that’s slightly off topic, but since you mentioned it: who or what is Tessie? (I’ve only lived in New Hampshire since 2007, so I’m new to the Red Sox Nation and don’t know the history.)

    • NewHampster

      I have no idea who Tessie is but here is the herstory of the song
      Tessie

      • Portia Elizabeth

        Thanks! Interesting reading on the history of the song. That perspective makes Sweet Caroline seem a little more logical.

  • Diana L. C.

    I rarely get sick and I am convinced that those who raise their kids and themselves to avoid germs are the ones who get sick most often. We are social animals and we need to share our immunities and our pathogens.

    I agree with this. I grew up on the farm where I was always having to touch stinky things. I wash my hands a lot, but I really don’t get all worked up about germs like many people I know.

    As for flu shots, I get notices now that I am of an advanced age and Kaiser Permanente thinks I might cost them too much money if I don’t do my preventative stuff. However, I NEVER get the flu vaccine when they ask me to. The two times I did when I was forced to as a public school teacher–I know; it was long ago and the shots are better now–I got raving cases of the flu. It made me paranoid about taking the darned shots ever since. I have not had a flu except for those two times.

    So I am planning to continue what I do since I am basically a curmudgeon and don’t like crowds of people anyway. I’ll just plan on hanging out as I always do with my dogs and cats, now that I’m retired and don’t have to be social.

    I am guessing that the scare is probably going to pass–but I do understand the doctors’ concerns and fears. They would have to be the ones dealing with everything if the worst case occurs.

    • Diana L. C.

      OOPS! I was also going to mention the research that is growing to support the idea that the rise in asthma cases may be caused by kids growing up in too sterile environments.

    • jwrjr

      I know how that is. I don’t get flu shots. The last two times I did I ended up in the hospital with respiratory problems (“pneumonia”). Since I stopped getting them I have had no worse than “sniffles”. Connected? Once, maybe not. Twice starts to look suspicious. I am not inclined to risk another hospital stay to find out any further.

  • Benjamin Franklin Berfle

    This flu scare is really just another example of politicians’ need to have some sort of bogey-man to instill unmitigated fear and angst against which to rally the electorate so as to keep the restless herd following the lead bull (bull is such a good noun in this instance). In the last 50 years we’ve had godless Communists, hippies, anti-war protestors, drug cartels, right-wing militias, Islamic terrorists, and now a virus.

    When will the American public stop falling for the “wow-look-at-that” misdirection being constantly used by politicians to extract more money from our already lean wallets?

  • Linda Anselmi

    Hey NH -

    Enjoyed your post and your sense of humor – as always!

  • I’m a Linda too

    roflmao

    Yes, I’m sure your dinky is cleaner than most other things….which may be why MY Hubby washes his hands BEFORE TOUCHING his dinky. lol

    “

    Who touched that banana, what snotty nosed kid picked it up and put it back?

    lmao

    Well, yes, we cannot be to freakish. We do have to build immunities.

    Having said that, I do try to wash things. Just be clean, not overly nutso. I will not go around avoiding touching things…etc…but, considering what some may or may not do…or just naturally causing things, I try to make sure I wash my hands before my hands go anywhere near my face or food.

    Now, I agree to a certain amount about the WHO person saying “trying to contain the virus is a waste of resources, we have to put our money into the comfort of those who catch it.” Sort of. If you have a known problem and you don’t work to minmize a potential spread, then that’s reckless and wasteful.

    Like the post RRRA posted about the rape kits. They cost $1500.00 to test. Money yes, but not when you consider the new lives you could be saving by running the tests and finding the pig who did it.

    If you believe someone has the flu and they wanted to board a plane, it would be absolutely reckless to allow that person on the flight. SEE? That’s what I mean.

    I did notice they rerouted that flight from Europe to Boston instead of DC (where it was scheduled to arrive) to take the woman off. So who’s be honest now?

    Thanks for the great post NH. missed ya’!

  • Arabella Trefoil

    Swine flu is great for Obama. Everybody over the age of 60 will die from it.

    • http://noquarter foxyladi14

      he hopes.that will fix medicare,social security too.

    • http://! stodgie

      arabella, it is the younger people getting it.

      • Arabella Trefoil

        I was joking. If all the old people would die and get out of the way, Obama would have an easier time of it.

  • NomNomNom

    New Hampster, I’d shake your hand for such refreshing honesty, but, er, well…sorry!

    • NewHampster

      LOL

  • Janet in Texas

    I used to own/operate fast food restaurants and I couldn’t believe how hard it was to get people to wash their hands. I came to the conclusion that common diseases will never be contained/eradicated because of this basic of human nature: every single individual has the attitude that “germs” are something that “other people” have!
    My observation was that they regarded hand-washing as just a big hassle, because they themselves were as pure as a freshly-bathed newborn. Only “other people” were contaminated in some way. Some could be convinced to wash given the icky thought that they could “get something” from somebody else, but the thought of their passing along a germ never, ever, ever entered their consciousness.

  • TeakwoodKite

    New Hampster, Darn Plumber!

    I use a box of surical gloves a month.

    Scares the crap out of the client these days.

    You remember how the kids would bring the nastiest bugs home from school?

    Didn’t they count for something?

    Another one I like is the debit pen pad at the grocery store…goodness knows what germs get traded there.

    • NewHampster

      or the pen hanging by the register for you to sign.

  • http://noquarter foxyladi14

    the most important thin is boost the immune system.eat good food,take vitamins especially C
    get lots of sleep.keep a happy positive outlook.
    don;t take life too seriously you’ll never get out of it alive anyway..do.n worry thats the killer.
    (((hugs all))be safe.now lets have a B.L.T.

  • http://www.zoombits.fr/ram/ram-serveur memoire de serveur

    Hi…
    This is indeed a nice post. I loved reading it and I am going to bookmark it surely. Very good work! Keep it up.