I wrote: “I’ve seen far too much tragedy within the gay community to have my right as a taxpaying U.S. Citizen put on a shelf by the theories of someone’s 1980’s College Professor, especially considering that even as they were studying theory, I had already been living the life and taking the beating that came with it for a good 20 years.”

That should have been a good “10+ years”, My mental math skills are abysmal.

I’ve seen far too much tragedy within the gay community to have my right as a taxpaying U.S. Citizen put on a shelf by the theories of someone’s 1980′s College Professor, especially considering that even as they were studying theory, I had already been living the life and taking the beating that came with it for a good 20 years.

In my 60′s now I have heard all the reasons, from gays and straights, why I don’t need gay marriage. My answer to gays who hold this opinion (all 80 of you) is “do what you will where marriage is concerned, but get out of the way of those of us who want it”. To straight people who pontificate on their biblically motivated reasons for denying the LGBTQ community the civil contract of marriage, I say, “Better hide, because It’s gonna happen”.

Again, the issue for me is access to the same benefits. For instance, VA passed a law, with the support of Obama’s choice to be DNC Chair, Tim Kaine, that same sex people unrelated by blood could not leave each other their property. So you could be partners with someone for years, and not inherit a thing.

Plus all the fed benefits…

“Gay relationships do not come from this same background. Gay relationships do not have this specific history behind them.
Why is it so difficult to acknowledge.”

I don’t deny your statement at all, I just find it to be irrelevant. The institution of marriage has been and continues to be used to enslave women and girls the world over.
I’d prefer to see an end to it for that reason.

I have already said that if there is to be marriage it’s my opinion that it should be equal for everyone.

And I didn’t vote for Obama. I don’t see him as a friend of the LBGTQ community.

I’ve spent over 35 years out of the closet and I’ve been called queer many, many, times, along the way, along with dyke and Lez, by the homophobes. I also live in the south and we have no options for our relationships and if we did my partner and I would choose marriage because we’re both old enough to remember how separate but equal ends up, unequal and very marginalized.

Now I have NO desire for a veil or tux or any of those things. I have no desire for a religious wedding. I want access to the same EXACT civil marriage contract that heterosexuals have and I will continue to work to get it. If you read Amy’s article it should be apparent exactly why separate but equal has pitfalls that most people can’t even begin to imagine. I have an attorney friend who’s explained to me on a number of occasions that she can’t fashion enough legal contracts to give my partner and I the same rights in the law that straight people have with marriage.

As for the word queer. I don’t know what circles you move in, but the circle I move in use it ofter. I have many friends and we call ourselves teh girl queers, especially when we’re reminiscing. I don’t see that interaction between friends as demeaning to me or my relationship. I have 3 friends who were involved in Stonewall, one has passed on. I have 7 friends who died of Aids (including 2 cousins) when the US government sat on the sidelines twiddling it’s thumbs because our pols considered it to be a queer only disease that could/would never reach the straight population. I’ve spent half of my life with my sexual orientation being illegal in my state of residence. I’ve had friends jailed for kissing their partner in public. I lost a friend to a hate-crime attack in the parking lot of gay night spot. I’ve had many friends lose jobs, housing, etc. because they are gay. I’ve known several women who were good mothers who lost custody of their children. I even had a close friend lose her only child to her ex-husband who was an alcoholic because she refused to lie about her sexual orientation under oath. In all of my lifetime, which is considerable, gay people have always used the word queer to express their anger at the straight community that discriminates against them or in casual conversation with friends. I’ve never had another gay person take offense with the word as you’ve done.

And FYI The most recent expression of our community is LGBTQ which means:
lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer or questioning. Sounds about right to me!!!

So no, marriage for me is not about a veil, it’s about a lifetime of over 6 decades living OUT in a world who prefers me in and nothing short of marriage will bring me to full and equal parity in the law. Apparenlty Amy and her Attorney friend agree.

So people’s hearts are in the right places? Let’s roll.