You.Must.Read.This.Now (especially if you’re a super person)

You want to understand the psyche of Obama & the hold he has over his supporters? Found this description on a website about abuse women face – nothing to do with politics.

The Smear Campaign of the Abuser (emphasis as article)
“Criticizing others is a dangerous thing, not so much because you may make mistakes about them, but because you may be revealing the truth about yourself”.
Judge Harold Medina

All too often at the end of a relationship with abusers, they begin what Lundy Bancroft has coined the “preemptive strike”. They will hurl accusations, usually ‘projection’ at their victim and recruit whatever audience they can fool. The support network of our friends and family are targeted and lied to by these disordered individuals.

To avoid exposure, the abuser will resort to a smear campaign. On closer examination, the words of the abuser reflect himself and his own behaviour.

The cruelty of this attack can be like a cut with a salted knife and done in a ‘kick ‘em when they’re down’ attack. It is the cruel actions of the sadistic, often personality-disordered, abuser who uses this tactic to coverup his own actions.

Lundy Bancroft, author of ‘Why Does He Do That – Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men,‘ says…
“Abusers increasingly use a tactic I call “preemptive strike,” where he accuses the victim of doing all the things that he has done.”
UNDERSTANDING THE BATTERER IN CUSTODY AND VISITATION DISPUTES by R. Lundy Bancroft
http://www.lundybancroft.com/pages/a…ub/CUSTODY.htm

I think we can all relate to the way our abusers will gather sycophant allies around them and resort to spreading lies, malicious projection, finger-pointing and false rumours by factless innuendo and cruel insinuation. This rallying of troops to his ‘camp‘, those enablers that work with them is the well-worn tactic of the personality disordered fearful of exposure. His lies and calumny an effective coverup of his own actions.

These abusers, fearful of exposure, become ruthless in recruiting our families, closest friends, employers, colleagues and competitors as he systematically attempts to build support for his coverup. His self-serving smear campaign begins. Words cannot describe the hurt that is inflicted. Hang on tight, it‘s going to be a very cruel and bumpy ride. Don‘t expect other people to understand. They don‘t know about this type of abuser – yet!

If all else fails, the narcissist recruits friends, colleagues, mates, family members, the authorities, institutions, neighbours – in short, third parties – to do his bidding. He uses these them to cajole, coerce, threaten, stalk, offer, retreat, tempt, convince, harass, communicate and otherwise manipulate his target. He controls these unaware instruments exactly as he plans to control his ultimate prey. He employs the same mechanisms and devices. And he dumps his props unceremoniously when the job is done.

The Spouse / Mate / Partner of the Narcissist – Sam Vaknin

This abuser will devalue/discard and break off contact with us quickly, thus appearing to be the victim of cruelty from us. We are cast in a defensive role by this outburst of lies. The abuser has no understanding of the degree of hurt and emotional devastation he creates. He will never know this pain. However, he will only be able to pull it off temporarily because other people don‘t understand this first-strike tactic of the mentally disordered. They have no personal experience with it and are unable to recognize it. He begins the false muckraking and finger pointing as he revels in the attention and limelight he generates. He knows his victim will appear to be vindictive in any attempts to disprove his allegations. He portrays himself as the victim to these recruits who only see him as the injured party, pitiful and in need of help. Sadly, the abuser will escalate his tactics and the victim becomes subjected to a multi-focused attack. The deceived and gullible recruits often take up his cause and will work as his ally to attack right alongside. Now, the abuser will remain out of the picture as his naive and ignorant recruits do his dirty work.

Often the best defence is to completely remove yourself from the abuser and those he is able to fool. Unfortunately, this can often include our closest friends and family. Focusing on our dignity, integrity and grace will get us through this. Naive, easily deceived people, may be forever lost to us. We conduct ourselves with grace and dignity. Warning others and exposing his lies may help eventually, but some people will take up the abuser‘s cause for their own self-serving reasons. Do not engage in any retaliatory mud-slinging that can be used against us, but do let these proxies know they can and will be subpoened in a potential defamation of character action to provide evidence of the origin of the lies he spreads.

If anyone tries to talk about his false accusations, hold up your hand (stop-sign position) and just say something like “I‘m sorry he feels that way. What he says are lies. I don‘t want to hear anything about him”. This can have the most amazing effect of causing people to have another look at what they’ve been told. Most people will figure things out for themselves quickly. It‘s not necessary to defend ourselves further.

Often the abuser‘s proxies are unaware of their role. Expose him. Inform them. Demonstrate to them how they are being abused, misused, and plain used by the abuser.Trap your abuser. Treat him as he treats you. Involve others. Bring it into the open.

Coping with Your Abuser

The abuser is now at his summit, and about to topple.This abuser will not engage in a fair fight, but it will ultimately backfire on him. Slowly his newly-recruited allies become aware of the truth. Suspecting the abuser’s true motives and questioning his actions, they slowly remove themselves and walk away from the mess. The ones that hang on are the most dim-witted. Their bad judgement in supporting him is easily transparent. They usually support the abuser for their own Mephistophelian self-serving aims.

This cycle is repeated throughout the life of the abuser. Most of us will become targeted by our abusers in this way. He fears the exposure and truth. He will work hard to keep his factions separated. That is how they operate. He deceives only the fools gathered around him. His target now in a box canyon defense position.

The battered emotions of the victims craft thoughts of revenge, vengeance and justice, but his targets, often reeling from these unexpected cruel lies and alientation, will find little solace in their mentally-constructed retaliation thoughts. Your abuser expects your pleas of virtue and expects you to retalilate. He has set the bait and your strength will come from remaining ‘unbaitable‘ against this onslaught of abuse from the mind of the deranged.

Over the course of time, this abuser’s audience will abandon him. Those he worked hard to secure by portraying the victim have left. His very actions will alienate anyone still near him. They begin to avoid him like the plague as the discrepancy of his lies and actions surfaces.

We may be able to ‘nip it in the bud‘ by anticipating and preparing for this common response from the mentally disodered.

Ultimately there will be no audience of fools gathered to listen. That is the self-inflicted fate of his own behaviour. He faces humiliation and exposure and will withdraw into final isolation. Long after we have healed and moved on, this final treachery will forever be the single act that stands out in our thoughts. Our ultimate victory is the bitter/sweet irony of the abuser still portraying himself the victim as he continues his life-long blame-game and his last remaining audience only the walls to hear his lies.

* * * * * *
“Our credulity is greatest concerning the things we know least about. And since we know least about ourselves, we are ready to believe all that is said about us. Hence the mysterious power of both flattery and calumny.” –Eric Hoffer

“Be thou as chaste as ice, as pure as snow, thou shalt not escape calumny.”
–Shakespeare, Hamlet

One suggestion put forward is to have your lawyer send a cease and desist letter with demand for retraction. However, be aware this type of abuser will have us served with the same right back!! However, that document may be useful in litigation/custody/parental alienation situations. Also recommended is to ask whoever is telling us their lies “What are your thoughts about what he says? What do you think.” If you‘re talking to a child, make sure it is a time when you are relating well to them.

We have used the male gender for simplicity. Your abuser could well be female.

Source: http://www.womansavers.com/relationship-articles.asp?a=158