Well, That’s ONE Way To Deal With Those Bonuses
By Rabble Rouser Reverend Amy on July 18, 2009 at 12:01 PM in Bailouts, Bank Bailouts, Banks, Current Affairs, U.S. Treasury, Wall Street
By now, surely you have heard by now that Goldman Sachs, which has gotten a ton of your hard earned dollars, is now rolling in the dough. Oh, yeah, baby – they are handing out some major big bucks to, well, themselves. I am sure MANY of you will appreciate this:
The average Goldman worker could end up taking home more than 10 times the typical American family’s income.
Woohoo – aren’t you SO proud that your money has helped to buoy up this company? Let’s just make clear what that means with the whole salary thing:
Were the firm to set aside bonuses at the same rate in the second half, the compensation pool would hit a record $22.8 billion — and the average Goldman worker would stand to make $773,000 for 2009, more than doubling their 2008 take.That would eclipse the $662,000 Goldman spent on its average worker in 2007, according to the firm’s regulatory filings. Median household income was $50,233 in 2007, according to the most recent Census Bureau data, while mean income — the apples-to-apples comparison — was $67,608.
And there ya have it. Doesn’t it make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?? The AVERAGE worker made close to $700,000!!!! Gee – I wonder how that compares to MOST people in this country? And how many of US got bailouts??
Hmmm, I wonder just what they are going to do with all of that money? One of my favorite satirists, Andy Borowitz, had an idea in this post:
Goldman Sachs in Talks to Acquire Treasury Department: Sister Entities to Share Employees, MoneyIn what some on Wall Street are calling the biggest blockbuster deal in the history of the financial sector, Goldman Sachs confirmed today that it was in talks to acquire the U.S. Department of the Treasury.
According to Goldman spokesperson Jonathan Hestron, the merger between Goldman and the Treasury Department is “a good fit” because “they’re in the business of printing money and so are we.”
The Goldman spokesman said that the merger would create efficiencies for both entities: “We already have so many employees and so much money flowing back and forth, this would just streamline things.”
Mr. Hestron said the only challenge facing Goldman in completing the merger “is trying to figure out which parts of the Treasury Dept. we don’t already own.”
Goldman recently celebrated record earnings by roasting a suckling pig over a bonfire of hundred-dollar bills.
Well, that’s a bit mixed – on the one hand, they cannot do a worse job than Timmy Geithner, right? So yeah – taking over the Treasury Department might not be all that bad.
On the other hand, well, just more of our tax dollars going to roast those suckling pigs, and I don’t even EAT pork! Sheesh.
Oh, Borowitz finishes out his column with these two tidbits:
Elsewhere, conspiracy theorists celebrated the 40th anniversary of NASA faking the moon landing.And in South Carolina, Gov. Mark Sanford gave his wife a new diamond ring, while his wife gave him an electronic ankle bracelet.
Now, I can SURE see that happening with Mark and Jenny, can’t you?? Uh, yeah…Too bad she didn’t think of that before! Live and learn, I reckon…
Don’t you just LOVE our new government?? It hands out money like candy to all the wrong people, and then wants more sacrifices from US. It’s gonna be a long 3 1/2 years, isn’t it?
by Ronald Scott
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