Barack Obama explains today at the Huffington Post why he is now for FISA exceptions after he was against them. Too bad the U.S. Olympics gymnastic team is already set–they could use a man with this kind of flexibility. I have a spy inside the Barack team. It is time for me to come clean. Now that Barack is talking and acting more like a Republican I figured it was time for me to acknowledge that he is a changed man. I have decided to support Barack for President. What changed my mind?

I got a sneek peak at an upcoming piece that he will post of Huffington Post. He lays bare his soul and has convinced me that he is, truly, the One for America. Here is the piece:

We can eliminate hunger in America. Say it with me, “YES WE CAN.” In fact, the solution lies within. Literally. It is time for us to recognize and appreciate the nutritive benefits of fecal material. Since I am from the hood, I believe it is important to communicate clearly what I mean. Therefore, let me be succinct. Eat Shit. You, my people, just don’t understand. Shit actually tastes good. I realize it may not have an appetizing appearance or an enticing aroma, but gosh dang it, it is nourishing. You know what they say–the best things in life are done twice. And since shit is nothing more than recycled food then we must seize the moment and use this unappreciated resource to end hunger once and for all. In fact, I know that when you eat shit you lose your appetite. Your hunger disappears.

Eating shit also has remarkable effects on mental acuity. It was while I was feasting on a steaming pile of my own recycled waste that I came to realize that the things I had said during the primary on key policies and old friends were in error. I have eaten shit and have seen the light. So, forget what I said about FISA, NAFTA, Iraq, Jeremiah Wright, abortion, taxes. I said that before I was full of shit. But now that I am filled and my hunger sated, I know what I believe. Please follow me to the truth. If you will simply believe me then you too can be full of shit.

So you see? A man who writes shit like this ought to be President. Right?

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Larry C. Johnson is a former analyst at the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency, who moved subsequently in 1989 to the U.S. Department of State, where he served four years as the deputy director for transportation security, antiterrorism assistance training, and special operations in the State Department's Office of Counterterrorism. He left government service in October 1993 and set up a consulting business. He currently is the co-owner and CEO of BERG Associates, LLC (Business Exposure Reduction Group) and is an expert in the fields of terrorism, aviation security, and crisis and risk management, and money laundering investigations. Johnson is the founder and main author of No Quarter, a weblog that addresses issues of terrorism and intelligence and politics. NoQuarterUSA was nominated as Best Political Blog of 2008.
  • 1pI’ll thingk about it.6b I compleatly disagree with last post . qfb
    паркетная доска 0n

  • jo2

    But I thought Sen. Obama’s taste in food was for Whole Foods Arugula? What happened to Him? Guess Rezko would like some company with his middleEastern cuisine in the slammer?

  • have you see the news about the convention?

  • Patti

    Stinky Diaper- TIME FOR A CHANGE?

    You be the Judge:

  • Patti

    Make Dr. King Proud on the Anniversary of his “I Have A Dream” Speech.

    Make his Words Ring Loud and Clear! Let’s prove him right!

    Let “HIS” words come to Life in the 21st Century!

    Mark your Calendars for the summer evening when Hillary comes to the podium in Denver to speak and to say: I accept the nomination of my Party and will be honored to lead you back to a path of peace and prosperity.

    Right On! Hillary 2008!

    Thank you Dr. King! We hear you still. Loud and Clear, Sir!

  • Patti

    Check this out…Chicago Sun Times ad being paid for by the People.

  • carl orr

    Thank you, Larry. I needed that. I am so very glad that you see the pettifogger for what he is, and aren’t afraid of saying so. Scatalogical humor is about all we have left when it comes to politics, and your piece is an instant classic. God Bless You. I actually laughed for the first time in months. We need more good men like you to push back the curtain and shine the light in. Keep up the good work.

  • rjj

    Was someone well on his way to being three shits to the wind when he wrote this?

    Drinking and diatribing on national holidays …

    The internet provides new opportunities, saves wear and tear on the relatives, but we are losing our customs and traditions, e.g., the first person to cry at a family celebration is a sissy.

    • Where he three sheets to the wind and beginning a starboard tack, he would still make more sense than the Obama Borg, Number One.

  • maggie

    I was for it while I was against it.

  • I nearly collapsed in horror…until I almost died laughing!!!!!

  • I was lighting the tinder in the firepit last night around 8:00 PM PDT when the earth shook. It’s really scary when you are outside because you hear all the noise from the buildings shaking around you. Unlike the slow roller like the 1989 Loma Prieta quake, this was sharp, pronounced and surprisingly loud.

    CGS web site didn’t show any sizable quake results so I started surfing to find the event that caused the jolt.

    Obama posted his latest piece in the Mendacity of Hype series on the Huffington Post Thursday at 5:05 PM EDT.

    The San Andreas Fault is not to blame.

    What I felt was an IROB, the latest Instantaneous Realignment of the Obama Borg. FISA good, 4th Amendment bad.

    Only the American Communist Party experienced a more traumatic ideological shift after the Hitler-Stalin pact.

    It’s going to be a shaky summer, troops.

  • citizenMcCain


    • Johnson,

      Please escort this moron to the grassy knoll, never to darken your door again.

  • PInk Panther

    Dear Obama:

    Thank you for the recent flip-flop gifts.


  • corage

    larry, you got me at ‘I have decided to support Barack for President. What changed my mind?’

    i knew, a prank was right behind it.
    you almost had a gotcha moment.

  • jdona

    When I read that Larry had decided to support Obama, I nearly choked on my soda. I thought Lord, not another one, pretty soon there will be nowhere else to go! Thank God I finished reading the piece instead of just leaving! Heart failure here!

  • WildChild

    Nobody at NQ has stopped you from talking ted. For that you need to go to Pro-BOBO sites.

  • America OUR land

    Well,we’ve been smelling shit since Obama’s announcement he was to be the Messiah for the DNC ,so,It’s only reasonable to understand he’s full of shit.

    Obama will refine the word shit, he’ll name it crap cake.

  • Mr.Murder

    Shit in one hand, wish in the other….

  • frangie

    that was a brilliant post btw.

    thanks for the scare and the laugh

    happy 4th

  • IndayHill

    “I have decided to support Barack for President. What changed my mind?”
    Larry, you made me worried reading the above.I did not know u r having constipation LOL!
    Now, let BHO eat the shit!
    He is polluting the whole nation. I’m sick and tired hearing his name 7/24 in the media.
    No mercy, even on this significant day, his name is on the air! Too much shit!


    God Bless America, The Beautiful!

  • Tyrione

    I find it no surprise that HuffPost has selected commenting on reports regarding Obama, and the fact that any negative facts about the empty suit gets removed from the top level/front page and buried in small links under the Political section.

  • Big D

    Thats it!…he is white..he is just so full of shit it makes him look black!..happy 4th everyone and FO to BHO!!!!!

  • He means YES WE CON!

  • NoToDisenfranchisement

    you mean, our Baracky, is going to the Huffpoo to do another W.O.R.M. dance?

    NO! really?!

  • frangie

    you had me there a minute! I don’t think I could have taken it if you would suddenly become a obama supporter.

    for a minute there I felt like I was the only human left in a world full of pod people.

    whoa, I think I need to lay down.

  • Steve

    Larry, when I saw the intro-I said what the shit? You did have me going for a bit! HA HA, Have a good 4th!

  • sic721

    We have 3 dogs ranging in size from 40-75 lbs.
    Every week or so, I get one of the neighborhood
    kids to clean up the yard for me.
    Last weekend, I gave little Billy a
    $10 bill, rubber gloves, a bucket and a shovel.
    After about an hour I took Billy a cold soda
    and found him sitting with the bucket and
    using the stuff like clay and molding what
    looked like a little man.
    I said, “Billy, what are you doing?”
    Billy said, “I’m making me an Axlerod.”
    I said, “Hah! Why don’t you make an Obama?”
    Billy looked in the bucket and said,
    “Not enough shit.”

  • sjc-tx

    Oh gosh! I KNEW I smelled shit in the room…. WOW!

  • Backtrack Obama keeps me busy with updating this every day

  • Katmoon

    lmao! Good one Larry!

  • elizinsandi

    he’s no JFK and no MLK

    • Andrew

      More of an LBJ.

  • sinking ratboat

    ” I have decided to support Barack for President.”
    You really had me worried there for a minute, Larry!
    Thanks for a good laugh.

    • Disgusted

      No kidding. I thought Larry got a hold of some Kool Aid. Phew

  • SJ

    I don’t know if its to save money but Obama sure wants a huge crowd to watch his coming out. I feel Obama already sees his self as President, I wonder how he would handle a lost of the GE if that was to happen, that is one big high to take a fall from.

    The DNC may have to put Obama into rehab if he does not win this thing, he may go steering mad instantly at the disappointment.

    • mountainlion

      no, if obama i mean when he loses, they will riot and blame everybody else, whitey and the republicans and those damn puma’s ! obama will hopefully move his family to kenya where his wife and children can be exposed to his other family in africa. and they can all eat huge portions of elephant dung.

  • elizinsandi

    Harp, LOL confuse-speak by Oblabberbu**

    SJ, I hope I got this right, tell me if it’s not:
    Obama doesn’t want to shorten the convention to three days (i guess they’re thinking they’d save $$) because the fourth day and I haven’t checked the exact date…is the anniversary of MLK’s famous speech I Have A Dream. He plans to accept the nomination and ride on the anniversary event! [nauseous here]

  • John

    Larry – –

    That was truly Carlin-esque! I would say George is up there, smiling down on us. But, we already know what he said about THAT. It’s all bullshit and it’s bad for ya!)

  • Fred C. Dobbs

    Awww, Larry. That was just f’ing puerile, and below the level of a Doctorate holder.

    Funnier than a Jim Nabors joke at Rock Hudson’s wake, though, in a 12 year-old way…

    • nickoury

      You’re absolutely right Mr. Dobbs, it’s preety crappy humor.