Where is fucking Ashton Kutcher? I am sure he is skulking around Oslo whipping up mischief and mayhem. There is no way that today’s announcement of a Nobel Peace Prize is not an upcoming episode of Punk’d. If he could snooker Kanye using Jesus then it only makes sense to go after the Big-Eared Hawaiian Kahuna.
But there are some other possibilities to consider.
The Nobel Committee is now getting involved with the Special Olympics and, as a conciliatory gesture to the United States, decided to give Barack a kind of “participation” medal/ribbon in lieu of actually getting the Olympics. If he has the Noble committee send the medal to Chicago then he can truly claim, “I brought home the gold.”
I cannot rule out the possibility that the Nobel Committee wanted to reward Barack for all he has done to improve race relations. Many are forgetting the “peace” that Obama brought to racially torn Boston with his Beer Fest summit. Any body, including a peanut farmer from Georgia, can get Anwar Sadat and Menachem Begin to shake hands. But it takes the reincarnation of the Messiah to do this:
Let’s ignore for the moment that Barack injected race into the sordid affair. He brought us peace, baby!
Now, if he can just convince the Taliban to surrender on the basis that the U.S. might eventually win then his legacy is secure. Of course, if that happened, he would actually have to do something other than get a prize for doing nothing other than show up and read a teleprompter.
Okay Ashton. Where’s the fucking camera? This ain’t funny no more.