I took a social psychology class a long time ago and one idea that particularly stood out was that while people can imagine what they might do or might not do in a particular situation, they cannot know for sure until actually faced with it.

A boy can imagine that he would be the first one to call the police or come to a girl’s rescue, but when faced with other boys’ taunts and pressure to be in the boys club, he may very well stand by and watch if not actively participate.

I do think media is the biggest culprit for sex and violence being glamorized to our kids. What worries me the most is Rap music. It’s violence and misogynistic all at the same time.

a. I wonder if the police are afraid of these street hoods, I certainly saw that when my kids were in public school.

b. I bet these men have done this crime before and they thought the homecoming dance would be a good place to grab a victim. I still don’t buy the stuff that she was waiting for her dad and went off to drink with a boy. If she’d called her father and knew he was on the way, why on earth would she take off and start drinking with a group of men? Doesn’t make any sense.

Dick Durbin wrote back and gave me a list of the women’s groups he support and said he’s protecting the funding for those groups–nothing at all to do with this sort of incident.

But, I’m sorry. Parenting is the key. We have to give our kids a sound foundation. Doesn’t mean our kids won’t get into trouble. Teenagers and 20-somethings and trouble are synonymous. Kids make mistakes. As parents, we hope those mistakes aren’t life altering and that our kids learn by the mistakes they make.

Hell, I was a kid once. I made plenty of mistakes and wrong turns.

But gross violence is different. And rape is a crime of violence. Something that we can fight. And we can fight it on the homefront. By example. By bringing home the message that violence is not the way you solve problems. By insisting that violence against women is wrong, always. And in fact, violence in personal relationships is unacceptable, period.

Doesn’t mean we have to raise our kids to be doormats. Sometimes a bully will provoke and lash out. Do you defend yourself? Of course. But you do not strike those who are weaker, more vulnerable, less than you.

I’m sorry, this is common sense from where I sit. We have to stop blaming everything outside ourselves. That’s not to say that there are rare cases when despite a parent’s best efforts that a child doesn’t go wrong, horribly. But they’re the exception to the rule, a child with deep seated problems that slide under the radar.

Parenting is the hardest thing I ever undertook. It takes time and energy and unlimited patience. It takes more love than you ever thought you had. It takes everything.

And you have to be willing to give it that. Or you’re playing with fire.

Our sons and daughters deserve everything we have. You want to talk about raising a healthy nation?

Start with your kids. Or shut up about it.

Boys aren’t born rapists. Girls aren’t born victims. They learn that from adults around them. Us.

But given that he only made his big race speech because he screwed up by hanging out with Wright(so his “apology” was to distract by talking about how WE are racist, not himself), he probably wouldn’t make a big gender/violence speech unless he was trying to get out of something and wanted to distract again…

Imagine the US with a well established, “rape genre” to the pop culture, students at an elite university running a ‘rape club’ and legislators literally joking about the virility of gang rapists and you get a minor taste of the injustices women of that country face down on a daily basis.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/09/02/world/main571280.shtml

Yoko Yoshida, a staff member at the Tokyo Rape Crisis Center, said the wink-and-nudge attitude is grounded in a popular culture that often depicts rape as an act of passion, not violence, and that women who resist don’t really mean it.

Myths are perpetuated by an underground pop culture in which rape is a common genre.

Rape-themed videos account for about a fifth of the porno offerings at chain rental stores, with titles like “Idol Rape Crime File” ranking among the top five in weekly X-rated sales. Popular comic books and video games often depict rape fantasies where teenage girls, nurses and housewives willingly submit to rapes and other sex assaults from relatives, neighbors or even police. A 17-year-old high school student arrested in June for allegedly raping 31 women reportedly told police he was trying to re-enact scenes he saw in porno books and magazines.