Noquarterusa.net: The Contest
By Kirk Tofte on July 13, 2008 at 2:10 PM in Barack Obama
The response to “Hillary versus Obama: The Book” was so outstanding that it seems a contest to pick the best title for such a tome is in order. It will be sponsored by Willnotmoveon.org (whose battle cry is “Ho! Ho! Ho!”) and its rules will be about as arcane as those that govern the balloting for Major League Baseball’s All-Star teams and/or the Iowa Democratic caucuses.
Listed below is the arbitrarily chosen field of titles from which noquarterusa.net readers will help us select our “Elite Eight” by naming the four titles that they like best. Readers may vote (as they can for the All-star teams–and, come to think of it, in the Iowa caucuses) as many times as they like. A winner will be selected from this smaller list. The author of the best title will win a free, lifetime subscription to noquarterusa.net and immediate induction into Willnotmoveon.org’s Hall of Fame.
And the titles from which you may choose ARE:
Hillary Shrugged
Hillary’s Complaint
Obama and the Art of Media Manipulation
The Obamabots’ Guide to the Galaxy
The Wright Stuff
The Legend of Deeply Hollow
No Country for Old Women
Invasion of the Caucus Snatchers
Take the Misogyny and Run
How Green Was My Candidate
A Man for All Political Leanings
A Smoke-filled Room with a View
Obambi Dick
Hail to the Pimp and his First ‘Ho (submitted by Bernie Mac)
Weathering Slights
As I Lay Spying
Dude Be Not Proud
Axelrod’s Fables
Raging Bullshit
The Silence of the Superdelegates
Obama’s Web
The Highjacker’s Guide to the White House
Pant Suit versus Empty Suit
Swindler’s List
Kill Bill Vol. 3
Sense and Insensitivity
For Whom the Bots Toll
Something Mulatto This Way Comes (as inappropriate as a Bernie Mac joke)
Mutiny on the DNC
Jesse Jackson and the Chocolate Nut Factory
A Time to Kill…The Democratic Party
Grim Fairy Tales
Pinocchio: The Adventures of a Puppet Candidate
Presidencies for Dummies
Faith of My Pflegers
Million Dollar Bambi
Blazing Straddles
La Bouge et le Noir (best foreign entry)
The Souls of Not-so-black Folk
Invasions of the Caucus Snatchers
Everything You Wanted to Know About Sexism but Were Afraid Was True
The Count of Monte “Schizo”
Catch-44 (we’ll be electing our 44th president)
Big Two-faced Liar
Terms of Disenfranchisement
Gone Changin’ with the Wind
War and Race
A Roll Call of Her Own
Field of Schemes
Invasion of the Delegate Snatchers
The Lyin’ King
A Botwork Orange
The Red Badge of Racism
Belittle Women
Barack the Obscure
Origin of the Specious
The Bible (King Obama version)
by Ronald Scott
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