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What Should We Say to John Kerry?

By Bronwyn's Harbor on January 16, 2010 at 7:00 PM in Current Affairs

I just got another desperate missive from Sen. John Kerry. The Democrats are in complete panic mode over the prospects that Scott Brown may defeat Martha Coakley on Tuesday. Here’s John’s fear-riddled, excessively wordy e-mail to me (and probably all of you who were ever on anyone’s e-mail list*). I have boldfaced the portions I find especially ridiculous or offensive, and below I ask you to shape a reply to Kerry’s letter (which I didn’t indent to save space):

kerry_011610_callout Dear —–,

This is it – the final 72 hours are what make or break elections. J.B. Poersch at the DSCC believes this election is going to be decided by just a handful of votes. That’s why we must get every last Democrat out to vote for Martha Coakley, and we need your help. It’s not too late to make the winning difference in this race.

Click here to donate $5 or more to the DSCC. Martha needs our help to get each and every Democrat to the polls on Tuesday. Your gift now will make a difference!

The far right wing – the out-of-state tea bagger crowd – has invaded Massachusetts. Republican Scott Brown is trying to deny his relationship with them – but that’s a little hard to do when he’s speaking at their events, and they’re touting his promise to be the 41st senator needed to kill health care reform. And they are raising money to help Brown – more than $1 million in one day.

John Kerry’s letter continues:

But I believe in Martha – and in your willingness to assist her in these final crucial hours. Martha Coakley is a fighter for Massachusetts as attorney general and will be a fighter in the Senate – but only if we keep pushing right up until the polls close on Tuesday. Your immediate online gift to the DSCC will make a difference on the ground.

Click here to donate $5 or more to the DSCC. Martha needs our help to get each and every Democrat to the polls on Tuesday. Your gift now will make a difference!

Electing Martha means even more than giving Massachusetts a capable leader to carry on the fights that meant everything to Sen. Kennedy. It means standing up to the big insurance companies and the big banks and passing health care reform, financial reform and the rest of President Obama’s agenda. [HUH? Would that be AFTER she takes their contributions?]We’ve got 72 hours. Let’s make this happen.

Sincerely, John Kerry

…………………………………………..

* You know, I swear that I resigned from every Democratic party e-mail list of which I am aware, so I wonder how in the hell they got my e-mail address. Did they save those original lists, ignoring people who’d asked to be removed? Are my own senators and congressman sharing my e-mail address with the Senate campaign office? What’s going on here?

…………………………………………..

OKAY, IT’S YOUR TURN: TELL JOHN KERRY WHY YOU WON’T GIVE THE COAKLEY CAMPAIGN ONE RED CENT:

jangles

I did not realize it at the time but when I had my computer stolen out of my van last summer, I had to start email from scratch and the Dems totally lost track of me. Cool.
felizarte

I already gave to Brown who is better for the country.
jangles

Martha Coakley must feel like she has been hit by a mac truck and they are doing reruns on her back. I just have doubts that MA will really pull the plug on Dems—they kind of kick and grouse about their politicians and then vote the Dems in.
buzzlatte

This is the one I got where I wrote back, ” A vote for Scott Brown is change you can believe in!”
felizarte

That’s what the British thought too after the Boston Tea Party.
getfitnow

Me too–twice!
trinity

The Dems are scared, as well they should be. I’m rooting for Scott Brown. I hope Coakley gets hammered. The “far right wing tea bagger crowd” reference is offensive to me, as well. I’m sick of the Dems insulting everybody who doesn’t like the way the Dems are doing things and is standing-up and saying so.
I’m a Linda too

What do we say to John Kerry? I’ll double your request….to Scott Brown!

And….remember, you can make calls from home,
donate
HARP

Why the long face Senator Kerry?
I’m a Linda too

lol
Guest

They do ? There was a whole string of Republican governors before Patrick, not to mention state legislators. I don’t particularly care who wins the Senate race – as long as it is close. The essentially same message is being sent.
oowawa

What do I say to John Kerry?

Don’t let the door hit you in the butt on the way out. I’m sure that you’re destined to become the holy terror of the goose world. What a man!
econsmed

Boston here – just got a call a little while ago, caller ID read “MARTHA COAKLEY” – I just picked up the phone and laughed – they hung up.
Also was called after the debate ended last week but a caller from one of the union groups, told him ‘she lost me’ he just kind of sighed, ‘….ok…’ no argument, just hung up – sounded like I wasn’t the first response like that he’d gotten.
felizarte

Close is not enough. It won’t make the 41st vote in the Senate.
Guest

Yes, but it SHOULD be enough of a wake up to terrorize other Democrats in tight districts to change their vote or retire…without the conservative baggage of a Republican/male on other social issues. At least that’s the theory.
Mary cusack

ugh what a smug smirk on her face. I pray it will wash off tuesday night. Then we can send the Hound dog out when his time comes around
Puma.for.Life

I actually got a mailing recently from the DNC. It had a survey asking me to rate Obama and their agenda. I threw it away because I do not want to have anything to do with them. I bet Acorn is working in overdrive to win this election for Coakly. Lots of dead bodies voting on Tuesday.
jbjd

…because I already gave my last red cent to Brown.
Objective Analysis

hillarious

so it is outofstate teabaggers…

not the people of Massassusetts – (Coakley’s misspelling parody)

The youtube sensation of Scott Brown where he says this is not Ted Kennedy’s seat, this is not the DNC’s seat, it is the people of Massachusetts seat.

Carpe Diem at its best…
John/liberalrapture

Lordy, I already hate this race. And i love politics. Coakley is a trainwreck. I knew people would be damaged by Obama – it bugs me that another woman is in the way of the Obi blowback. Scozzafava, though a GOP, was a victim of Obama blowback too. She was the right person for that job in my mind.
If i lived in mass. I do not know who i’d vote for. HC has nothing to do with it either. Dems will have their bill no matter what. The 41st seat on ALL VOTES is the real issue.

I bet Coakley will pull it off in the end. But that’s a guess from the west coast. (I also thought corzine would pull it off.) Brown will then take down Patterson and become Gov.
felizarte

It is not my theory to re-energize the democrats, but rather, to keep them from becoming the bullies that they have shown themselves to be; to preserve the principle of checks and balances embodied in the Constitution. To me, gridlock is preferable to enacting bad laws or policies.
Docelder

Why is Kerry afraid of a bunch of redneck teabaggers thet aren’t even married to somebody that owns a ketchup factory? Don’t just vote for Brown, buy the other guys ketchup from now on.
creeper

I don’t think “close” will register with Obama Dems. All they’ll see is the win. You have to whack them upside the head to get their attention. The only thing they will understand is losing. May they do so in Massachusetts on Tuesday.
creeper

Re: that Coakley ad above…”Heat” is definitely wrong these days but “dead” is right on.
Andy

John, I think you mean Patrick, `take down Deval Patrick’ (Patterson is NY’s Gov )
felizarte

I am also hoping that when Brown gets elected, the other Democrats in the Senate and in the House, who do not quite agree with the things in the bills on hand, will remember to vote as their constituents want them to vote and not be coerced by the White house and the present leaders of the Congress. I read that part of the threat of Rahm Emmanuel was to campaign against them or at the very least not lift a finger to help in their campaign. Brown’s victory will show that Obama’s campaigning for Coakley didn’t do her any good.
Jackarooty

Speaking of Deval Patrick…haven’t seen “low polls” Deval anywhere near Martha! I wonder if he’ll appear on Sunday with his BFF Barry.
Docelder

How about this picture? Bush… doofus that he was would have been smart enough to just walk around this hurdle.
Docelder

Kerry is a real man for hunting geese, but Palin would be a neanderthal for doing the same thing. Hmm.
John/liberalrapture

yes. Got my Northeast govs confused. anyway they are both losing in 2010.
MBC

Any sense of what others in Boston are thinking about the race? I have seen and heard more small groups of people talking outside of stores, gas stations, etc. lately around here lately, than I ever noticed before. Even when I cannot hear the conversation, you can tell by the arms waving and head shaking that it is about politics and it isn’t pretty. The only other thing that would cause people in these parts to stand outside in the cold and talk is a Steeler play-off game or being in the Super Bowl.
Obamastolemycountry

I actually sent mine in. It’s their postage! LOL! I told them I no longer support the Delusional National Committee and that I’m a Clintoncrat. Obamacrats are no where near my values or morals. On their list of what is my number one goal for the country, I crossed out their list and I said getting the one who calls himself Barack Obama voted out! Then I added lots of junk mail ads for them to pay postage on! I just love sending those back!
oowawa

I object to anybody who would kill animals in order to use their bodies as props in a political campaign, just as I object to moviemakers who would kill animals to use their suffering, deaths and bodies as story elements.
I’m a Linda too

OK, I can’t resist.

…He just found out he was a Jack Ass!
Rabble Rouser Rev. Amy

I got a mailing frim the DNC too, which went back to them in today’s mail. I wrote on there one of the excellent selections I was given the other day here,”I will give you a donaiton when you can send me an autographed photo of President Hillary Clinton.” I added, ” I don’t support liars, cheaters, and thieves.”

Remember – it costs them money every time they get one of those envelopes back.
Hillary or Bust

He actually used the term “teabaggers”? Ick.

All this makes me wonder if a lot of my anti-Republican feelings of yore weren’t in fact totally misguided due to outright propaganda and manipulation by Democrats and the far left.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m still not a fan of Bush or Cheney. But I’m talking about my past feelings towards PEOPLE who were Republicans.

This letter is disgusting. I hope Coakley goes down in flames, as much as I think it’s important we have gender parity in government.
cat

Attention shit hurling neanderthals (Coakley Campaigners trolling the blogs, I mean YOU.)

I just got the vile and infamous DNC “Rape Flyer” in my mailbox.

What part of “Scott Brown voted YES on the emergency contraception legislation” don’t you wankers understand??

This is Martha Coakley’s campaign and she could call a stop to this vulgar and filthy bullsh*t at any time.

Martha?? Hello?? Martha??

If anyone thinks this woman is Senator material please think again!
oowawa

Good point, Doc. I object to anybody who would kill animals in order to use their bodies as props in a political campaign, just as I object to moviemakers who would kill animals to use their suffering, deaths and bodies as story elements.
cat

There are Brown signs EVERYWHERE in MetroWest.
Brown supporters are out rounding up voters.
Neighbors and businesses who never put political signs out have Brown signs, some HUGE.

I hope the Dems get their asses kicked-their filthy campaign is an insult to anyone who ever supported them.
FLDemFem

That should be your reply to the Dem fund raising letter.
Docelder

The difference is I can see the Palin family having a goose dinner. I can see Kerry giving the goose away or just throwing it away as soon as the cameras leave. I too have a problem with killing animals for no good reason. Wanting to have a goose dinner is a good enough of a reason for me. Needing some manly campaign pics is not.
Docelder

She is more closely Obama cabinet material. That sould say it all.
WMCB

Cat, that flyer is just VILE, and I’m strongly pro-choice.

Look, the whole “conscience clause” thing is not something I support, BUT the amendment Brown proposed was pretty specific in trying to thread that needle. It stated that
a) All “conscientious objectors” had to fill out a form ahead of time and be on record with their employer. That makes sense, because then the hospital could be sure to have mixed staff, which would make denying a morning-after pill very unlikely to happen. You couldn’t just decide on the spot to be an objector.
b) It had a provision that required the hospital (such as a catholic one) to have a written agreement with another facility to take their transfers if need be. They couldn’t just turn a woman away – the responsibility was still theirs to make sure she received care, even if they would not provide it.
Do I still think those type clauses stink? Yep. Absolutely. But if you were going to do one, this was at least an attempt to do it without denying care. Not to mention the fact that the HCR bill that Coakley says she’ll vote for has a conscience clause that has fewer protections in it than the one Brown proposed.
So I’m not sure where she gets off painting Brown as a monster throwing raped women on the streets, when she’s planning to vote for an even WORSE conscience provision.
lark

Thank you.
Binky

I’m offended about the “far right wing tea bagger crowd” comment too. I’m proud that I supported the tea party movement and stood up for our constitutional right to participate in a peaceful protest against policies we don’t like. I’m a 70+ grandma, a hard-working, taxpaying citizen, and I’m proud to be an American who believes in constitutional government. I left the Democratic Party because of their thuggery politics and far left policies.
Lonni

How about this: “No”. Succinct and to the point.
SeriouslySickOfObama

I send all their stuff back with messages like..Can I buy 4 delegate’s for .4 cents…I also put messages on the outside of the envelope..When will Obama admit he had sex with Larry Sinclair, I say anything that comes to my mind when I stand at my counter and write away on the back of the envelope laughing at the images of all the faces of people that read it along the chain from my mailbox to the DNC office..My maillady is Black, too and she always tells she thinks one day she is going to pull up with my mail and see the MEN IN BLACK SUITS here to take me away..LOL…it’s a small thrill, yes, it’s childish, but funny…if they keep sending me stuff, then they must want my opinion, right?…I tell them to remove me from the mailing list..the next one I am going to put that I am BLACK with a Negro Dialect, so they don’t want my freedom of speech to be heard anyways bc I don’t think or act white. I will spell it all in ebonic’s!! As for what I would say to John Kerry, do you know what teabagging means? Go to the urban dictionary and tell me just how a group of people with signs walking around look anything like the definition of a teabagger while standing?..LOL, then I would ask him if he has personal knowledge of this sexual act to be so familiar with the term to use it so often? That is what I would say to John Kerry, do you know what you are really calling us when you use the term TEABAGGER? My grandson showed me the website for the urban dictionary, I have been a MAD BLACK WOMAN EVERY SINCE!!!
Binky

What a great reply! My first real chuckle today.
POdVet

A response to Kerry…

Dear John

Sorry I can not afford to donate any money to the DNC or Coakley at this time. I have spent all my money in organizing the TEA PARTY I will soon be giving. Urging the people of Massachusettes to have you and the other Jackasses masquerading as democrats, thrown out of office for betraying them.

Respectfully…
SeriouslySickOfObama

Doesn’t it make you wonder how many woman are victims of rape that opened their mailbox to see the word RAPE on a post card? The DNC has just redefined a new level of low and disgusting!! I hope the truth is out bc the election and the postcards are voided by constant retractions every hour on the hour. HORRIBLE, just HORRIBLE!!
Citizen70

Dear John,

Maybe if you had supported Hillary Clinton for the Dem nomination, life and the Democratic party would be different now and I’d be happy to support Martha Coakley. But the President and the Democrats are ruining our country with their out of control entitlement spending and this assinine health care bill. I may not agree 100% with Scott Brown and I detested Bush/Cheney but I like the idea of breaking the 60 vote Dem margin right now. Don’t bother to respond…..you never have before.
Diana L. C.

We should all send her tea bags. I’ve got a few that are supposed to calm nerves. They’ll need them when Brown wins.
getfitnow

Not just women–the right women.
econsmed

2 friends of mine that voted for O’Blameless are voting Brown, some of my other die-hard Dem friends are really turned off right now by the whole dirty campaign that Martha has let take over. It seems like a lot of the dems here might actually sit this one out – the Republicans and the Un-enrolled (our version of Independents) are burning to vote! I think they may have actually blown this big-time. The Dems are trying to paint Brown as an extreme right-winger, which anyone with ANY interest in politics at all know is not the case. The only way Obama gets this seat for his court is if enough zombies turn out as told Tuesday. Wish us luck!
Obamastolemycountry

Fantastic idea!!!
Cindy

“the final 72 hours”….Let’s hope and pray that it IS the the final 72 hours of the Democratic Party’s and Ted Kennedy’s choke-hold on Massachusetts and liberty!
FrenchNail

I just thought the same thing : Did an American Senator called American electorates Tea Baggers? Outrageaous, beyong shameful. Absolutely disgusting.

I can already think of the next Republican ads against Kerry reelection.

Kerry is an absolute bastard. I was broken hearted whe he lost in 2004, but now I think the country was much better off without such an Ahole in the White House.
Mark

Oh come on, you like being on his e-mail list, that way you can post BS like this.

Brown is an empty suit pretty boy-not qualified to be a senator. He will screw the people of Massachusetts.
Go Martha Coakley!!!!!!
Mark

nothing will get acomplished if Brown would win. People will continue to be out of work and the ecomomy will sink to the low of the Bush administration. A vote for Brown is a vote backwards- don’t be so foolish with your vote.
Mark

You call yourselves teabaggers. Actually, I think you all are an insult to good tea.
Mark

I would keep them for your nerves and your fellow teabaggers- you are all going to need them because Coakley is going to win this.
I’m a Linda too

it is a Fantastic idea.

…and I think we should be sending John Kerry and Chuckles Schumer some Chapstick…and who ever else likes to keep talking about tea bagging, in our thoughtful attempt to prepare their lips for what they seem to like to do.
I’m a Linda too

No dear, you seem to be confused. Only the Democrats and their promoters call for tea bagging. They can’t help talk about their sexual desires. We on the other hand are the patriots of our country, putting ouselves out there fighting for our countries principles.

Now remember, when you start fantasizing about tea bagging, put on your Chapstick.
Jackarooty

I live in Metrowest too. The weather is supposed to be partly cloudy and near 40 degrees. I don’t think Barry’s appearance will do anything for Martha. Look at the optics on Sunday’s 6 p.m. news. The lead story will be Barry at a rally for a losing candidate (and a lot people will show up just to see a sitting president) and then go Haiti with Hillary working hard and getting her hands dirty. Do you think Barry will ever got to Haiti? *DONT_KNOW*
Jackarooty

I live in Metrowest too. The weather is supposed to be partly cloudy and near 40 degrees on Tusday. I don’t think Barry’s appearance will do anything for Martha. Look at the optics on Sunday’s 6 p.m. news. The lead story will be Barry at a rally for a losing candidate (and a lot people will show up just to see a sitting president) and then go Haiti with Hillary working hard and getting her hands dirty. Do you think Barry will ever got to Haiti? *DONT_KNOW*
whoframedrudy

I’d write:

“Dear Senator Kerry:

Go blow John Edwards.

Sincerely yours.”
Texas Playwright

Better a tea bagger than a back stabber, John, Teddy, Deval et al.
FranSC

The Dems are doing to Scott Brown exactly what they did to the recently elected Bob McDonnell in VA. They used all the same tactics, ‘not pro-choice, is anti-woman, Tea Bagger’, etc. I don’t think it will work any better in this case than it did in McDonnell’s case.

And what would I say to John Kerry’s fundraising panic: Maybe you now can understand why Hillary’s supporters were in such paniced disbelief about you and the other Clinton back stabbers not supporting Hillary and instead you supported someone that would lead us off a cliff. What incentive does a Hillary supporter have to support you or any of the crazed 0bama Kool-aid drunks?
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FranSC

RRRAmy, I think that was my favorite as well (a signed photo of President Hillary Clinton), but I also liked, “I don’t have time for that right now because I’m too busy cleaning my gun and clinging to my Bible.” Then someone added: “And knitting bitterly.” Hilarious!
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Proud Military Mom

I got an E-mail from the PA Dem party asking for money to help poor old Martha retain “Sen Kennedy’s seat.”
I sent a reply telling them I had grown up in MA and quoting Mr. Brown “It is NOT Sen Kennedy’s seat!”

Gonna be interesting!
cat

I am also totally opposed to any “conscience clause” provisions, WM.

In fact, I AM STILL WAITING FOR OBAMA TO GET RID OF THE ONE IN EFFECT THANKS TO DUBYA. I guess its just fine with the Democrats.
Pro-choice party my A**.

That is great info about the details of the Brown proposal-thanks.

I keep trying to remind people that his amendment was stripped and he still voted for the emergency legislation.
He supported it whether his amendment was attached OR NOT.
How many anti-choice Dems are this flexible.
Um, Stupak? Nelson?

I am still dying for Martha to take some ownership of her campaign and put a stop to the lies and smears, but on the local news last night she said she had no problem with any of it.

COAKLEY is the monster, AFAIC.
Ladydawnelle

Dear John,
I regret being asked to vote for you by Gen. Wes Clark so long ago. But at that time the choices STUNK! Turns out you still STINK! You’ve been in DC too long old man. You’re moldy. Go home and eat ketsup with your power happy wifey!
Sassy

Dear John,
This is my “dear john” letter to the Democratic Party.
Hillary was a friend of mine!
Your three Rs are race, religion, and retaliation.
Mine are remember, reckoning, and republicans!
Texas Playwright

Get off this blog, scammers.
JustSaying

Boston here as well….I got the same call from Coakley’s people…I too, hung up…got (2) calls today from the Brown campaign..as did my daughter…they are working those phones!
I’m a Linda too

Dear John,

I guess you left this state a long time ago. One would think a Democratic politician, let alone a representative from the Great State of Massachusetts would have a bit more respect for active citizenry. But more importantly, one would not expect the supposed Representative to mock the very act that cemented our state in taking the country back for the people with the Boston Tea Party.

Looks like John Kerry’s reElection campaign isn’t coming soon enough.
BBF

I got mail from Bill Clinton last week. I threw it in the trash.
AMae

I like FranSC’s, but couldn’t get my “like” to register. So here goes!
All my support and money have gone to Tea Baggers, and those conservative pacs, to be spent for BROWN. I also am getting a little tired of the slams against Tea Baggers. Some of us, maybe most of us, are better educated than anyone in the House or Senate. I also can’t seem to get off their lists and I certainly let them know how I feel. I fill up the envelopes with e mails, news articles that leave no doubt about my distaste for anything Dem. and let them pay the postage. Still I get them. I think that qualifies as insanity. Surprise! Surprise!
Ladydawnelle

I’m getting to that point.
Sassy

Our mailers are always in hubby’s name (those sexists) and my guy is a republican-leaning indie!
I tried to convert him for years, but in the end I turned right!
PortiaElizabeth

Mark– tsk tsk. We call ourselves Tea Partiers. You must learn that there are subtle differences in English usage.
For instance, if I were to call someone a son of a bitch, I’m confident most here would understand that it in no way refers to dogs.
Beachnan

No fan of Bush and Chaney, or any Republican President of recent history, but I do not like the way the Dems are calling everyone that protests a “teabagger” and a far right winger. This is going to come back and bite them in the ass, because there are many centrist, moderate, and slightly liberal former Dems that support the tea bag concept. Every one of of us has been given the right, by our constitution to protest whatever actions by our government we deem unacceptable. When the Dems finally realize that multitudes disapprove of Obama and his Chicago thugs and the way they govern, hopefully, they will not support his policies out of self preservation.
Beachnan

Mark, what he accomplished so far that has benefited the country. If electing Brown stops this terrible health plan, then go Brown. Obama’s health plan benefits no one, but big pharma, and the health insurance carriers. Also, tell me why the Democrats are trying to portray the Republicans as being pro big banks, when it was the Democrats that gave them all the stimulus money? Obama’s “accomplishments” have given us job losses, and worsening economy. We need to stop any further “accomplishments” like the ones that have cost us already.
NoBama

That long face joke never seems to get old.

Sending the price of two Martha Coakley Mocha Half-Caf Soy Lattes to Brown courtesy of fellow condescending weasel John Kerry’s email.
NoBama

It must be too early because I just pictured Sarah Palin’s face on both hunter’s bodies and Kerry’s on the goose. I wonder if there’s any way to get Sarah to move to Mass. and run against him next election, just so I can have a reason to photoshop it.

Another Mocha half-caf soy latte for me… lol
NoBama

Peaceful assembly and free speech is soooo 18th century! It’s so much hipper to just mix a few explosives and blow up a few government buildings.
NoBama

OMG! Great idea! I’m going to post this idea on all the websites!!

Don’t forget the chapstick!!!