Barack. You asked. Here’s your answer–you can start by helping kick your own ass. Lord knows BP is already chewing off chunks on their own.

In case you have been locked in a cave the last couple of hours surely you have heard this clip from Obama’s interview with NBC. (This is comedy gold).

Visit for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Is it just me, or is Barack Obama channeling Steve Urkel? Now there is one tough motherfucker.

Following up on previous press inquiries about what Obama did to show he was upset, his team of juvenile nitwits came up with today’s gem. He wants to kick some booty.

You go, girl. Go get medieval on your ass.

(Patience, for your pleasure)

But wait, this ain’t the Barack Obama that Newsweek’s Jonathan Alter claims is running the show. In an excerpt from his upcoming literary version of full-blown fellatio, Alter reports on how Obambi tackled the Afghanistan issue:

Obama’s approach in the meetings was the same as always. He was, according to one participant, “clear-eyed, hardheaded, and demanding.” . . .

On the day after the London speech, McChrystal was summoned to Copenhagen to meet with Obama, who was trying—and failing—to lure the Olympics to Chicago. They talked alone for 25 minutes while Air Force One sat on the tarmac. It was only the second time the two had met since McChrystal took over in June. The president wasn’t happy, but he held his temper in check, as usual. By this time the White House had concluded that McChrystal was simply in over his head in the media world, a pawn in Mullen and Petraeus’s game. . . .

In a cold fury Obama said he wanted to know “here and now” if the Pentagon would be on board with any presidential decision and could faithfully implement it. “This was a cold and bracing meeting,” said an official in the room. . . .

It wasn’t a secret that someone in the military would likely have been fired had Biden been president. But the vice president admitted to other advisers that it was better that Obama was in charge and showing more mercy toward the Pentagon. The generals thought they were working him over, Biden said privately, but the president had the upper hand. He was a step ahead of them, and as much as some of them thought they had obliterated the July 2011 deadline for beginning a withdrawal, they were mistaken.

When he spoke to McChrystal by teleconference, Obama couldn’t have been clearer in his instructions. “Do not occupy what you cannot transfer,” the president ordered. In a later call he said it again: “Do not occupy what you cannot transfer.” He didn’t want the United States moving into a section of the country unless it was to prepare for transferring security responsibilities to the Afghans. The troops should dig wells and pass out seeds and all the other development ideas they had talked about for months, but if he learned that U.S. soldiers had been camped in a town without any timetable for transfer of authority he wasn’t going to be happy.

Remember when you were little? Did you ever try to wear your Mom’s high heels or trudge around in your Dad’s top coat? You know, playing dress up. Pretending to be an adult. Thinking that if you could wear their clothes you could be big and mature?
Well, sad to say, Barack Obama is still playing dress up and does not have a clue. Worse, he is surrounded by advisors who apparently believe that they can put contrived words and gestures into Barry’s mouth and he will magically become a tough guy.

Someone needs to remind Barack Obama that he was elected President and is supposed to act like he knows what he is doing even when he doesn’t. Instead, he once again reminds us that he is a fucking buffoon.

UPDATE–Instead of kicking ass, Obama pulls out a nifty wrestling move. Let’s call it “kinder, gentler” ass kicking. He puts on a sleeper hold and takes the girl out.

Jim Croce would be laughing his ass off at Barack:

That’s right, “He’s bad, bad, Barack O, badest clown . . .

Previous articleBarack Obama Sinks The Economy in the Gulf
Next articleMust-Ask-It Q * Open Thread [Update]
Larry C. Johnson is a former analyst at the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency, who moved subsequently in 1989 to the U.S. Department of State, where he served four years as the deputy director for transportation security, antiterrorism assistance training, and special operations in the State Department's Office of Counterterrorism. He left government service in October 1993 and set up a consulting business. He currently is the co-owner and CEO of BERG Associates, LLC (Business Exposure Reduction Group) and is an expert in the fields of terrorism, aviation security, and crisis and risk management, and money laundering investigations. Johnson is the founder and main author of No Quarter, a weblog that addresses issues of terrorism and intelligence and politics. NoQuarterUSA was nominated as Best Political Blog of 2008.
  • TeakWoodKite

    “…according to one participant”….

    …it was an orgy I tell you! One that would make Calligula all oiled up with envy.

    “…In a cold fury Obama said he wanted to know…”
    (Hey BO, you shithead, BP’s feed is in HD, did you “know”)

    Ignorance is fury’s best friend.
    Experiencing anger when having your political cherry popped, is called rape.
    The troubling inferance being made by on the “Alter”, that the US military is treasonous… lest it take 18 months to send troops, on the advice of his begging generals, to Afghanistan.

  • TeakWoodKite

    Iran’s Mahmoud Ahmadinejad assured Turkish leaders whom he met in Istanbul Tuesday, Jan. 8 that Iranian “aid” vessels heading for Gazan waters within days will not shrink from a head-on clash with Israel.  On the Turkish-Israeli conflict, he said it would “change many issues in the world and mark the final countdown for Israel’s existence.”

    United States POTUS….
    Obama, “I talk to the experts so I know whose ass to kick.”  
    Yup….LJ, that One “floats like a butterfly and stings like bee” alright, even in the rain from what he says…

    Two things.
    1) what kinda dunce needs to ask an expert’s opinion for the answer to a question that anyone born with an once of common sense could not answer on their own?
    2) Ya think the ass knows what’s coming next?

    I am stuck in a Rumsfieldian nightmare with this One. He had experts too. Why is it that Anderson Cooper is being denied access to film oil soaked birds? Early on, it was obvious that BP was “putting a lid on it.” Now the Federal government is doing the same? So, if I understand it correctly, the same folks that brought us this “signpost”, are unable to report even if they wanted to?… a rare thing I know, but still, this evening I sit down and find out BP has had a HD camera and is only now releasing the feed?
    F*()^k me.

  • Becky

    you know, he talks about the first time he went to Louisiana like it was a huge sacrifice on his part ~ “in the rain”.   what I hear him saying is he’s pissed because he gets no credit for how many photo ops he does, and how dare anyone question him on anything.  this fool does not fool me.  he is a piece of SHITE.  I cannot say it any better than that.  I’m not sure where the hell this guy came from or even who the hell he is but he is nothing more than a tiresome idiot who has never encountered a mirror or a camera or a microphone he didn’t want to belly up to.  this guy is seriously mentally ill.  scary mentally ill.  if we survive this fool it will be because we come together as a nation, regardless of party affiliation,  and vote him the hell out of office.  Ideology matters no more.  It isn’t about that.  these are desperate times and it is pretty hard to imagine that anyone, ANYONE could be worse than this thing currently occupying the oval office.  and this from a 50-year democrat.  Not no more.  I wouldn’t even want to be in the same room as that thing, nevermind ever voting for him.  whew.  that feels better.

  • Breeze

    Miles and miles of oil boom sit in New Orleans warehouse. No one will pick it up.

    Heck of a job there, President kick ass.

  • Armymom

    OMG, laughing my ass off here Larry. Some people are sooooo stupid. Must be a youngin cuz I certainly remember a lot hotter days than those.

  • Onofre’s arm

    Heh, heh, heh.

  • Larry Johnson

    It is called weather moron.  In case you didn’t notice the official start of summer is a few days off.  It gets hot in the summer.  You’ve obviously been outside in the sun without any head protection other than trying to stick your head inside your ass.

  • Athena the Warrior

    No the sun’s just setting on this type of government.  People are waking up however late it is and I firmly believe that we will take back our country and restore a more self-reliant, rule of law,  limited government to our country.

  • kafir

    No matter what has happened to Osama, sorry Obama, Obama has already obtained the Martyr status – Obama couldn’t wait to meet his 72 virgins in ‘Heaven’!

    We The People can not tolerate any more. We The  People have reached the breaking point!

  • helenk

    RUH RAH It looks like the press is beginning to go from fluffing backtrack to paddling backtrack and soon may go to bitch slapping backtrack.
    It took them long enough and it is a little too late to undo the damage to the country and themselves.



  • My other site

    Well, you know he hates the U. S.

  • My other site

    surfered:  Obama claimed during the campaigns that he could fix things with words, i. e., Superman.  So, you’re wrong.  Bush/Cheney didn’t cause this one; Obama excused BP from the requisite safety precautions.

  • EllenD

    EGAD! Look at those curtains.
    It takes me back to my Interior Designer days when I kept presenting drawings to a client who wanted something elegant and classy to display her antiques and it turned out what she thought was elegant and classy was red flocked metallic wallpaper!!!!
    I fear for the White House.

  • Hank

    Is it me or are the U.S. Flags missing from Obama’s blah, blahs.  All you see is the Gold shower curtains and his beloved teleprompters.

  • bamaLV

    last nite on hannity, he had 3 guests with great and easy ideas to clean up the oil.  (the idea to cover the oil with  hay which soaks up 95% of the oil was brilliant). all have tried to pass these ideas along to BP  but were brushed off.  would it show how incompetent everyone involved is that because its too easy a solution and should have been used immediately? .well as this administration has said repeatedly “never let a good crisis go to waste”.the more damage caused the easier they think it will be for them to push cap and trade and stop off shore drilling to push their “green” agenda (whatever the hell that means).

  • bamaLV

    speaking of meechele, why isnt her fat ass down in La. helping to clean up those poor birds instead of doing fist bumps with harry reid in red rock canyon. that woman  is the most uncaring , classless first lady to  ever squat in the WH. she has done absolutely NOTHING to earn the respect of americans.  she and her husband are only in this for the perks (and they’ve  certainly taken advantage of that)but not the hard work. if obama cant handle this horrible mess then he needs to step aside and let someone  who knows what the hell they’re doing, take over.

  • getfitnow

    His lack of respect for the office of POTUS has been amazing–almost from day one I was wondering where is the protocol staff. At times, too many times, he and FLOTUS have demonstrated little regard for the office. But I blame the msm and public that erected both of them into mega celebrity status. That became more important than the duty to serve the public.

    When he shaved this morning, I wonder if Malia chastised  “daddy” for saying a bad word, unbecoming a POTUS, on the TV? =-X

  • No Longer an American

    But but but but….He told us he was superman.  He told us he was jesus………OMG  you mean he’s just MORTAL…….oh no!!!!!

  • getfitnow

    Instead of POTUS, better to refer to That One as POASS. =-O

  • getfitnow

    And did you notice how he emphasized that HE STOOD in the rain….

    On second thought I guess that is an achievement for him, given the rain chased him indoors on Memorial Day. =-O

  • surfered

    I’m not sure what people expect.  Only oil men can plug the hole and Obama is not Superman.  He can’t fly around the planet in reverse to back in time and prevent the deregulation of offshore oil drilling, the financial markets, and derivatives. It will take time to remove the “free market” moles installed at the SEC and the MMS, who signed off on the Deep Horizon drilling permit.  Like the spill in the Gulf, the Bush/Cheney years will cause damage for years to come.

  • getfitnow

    But when he had “99 problems” playing in the background and dusted off his shoulders little did he know that being POTUS required more than bringing a gun to the fight. 😉

  • lorac

    Distract, blame Bush, distract, blame Bush, distract….

  • getfitnow

    Yep, Thug in Chief–that’s what we have.

    I heard a comment today that this “ass” comment was Urkel meets Jay-Z. 😉

  • lorac

    I just heard on the news that he won’t confess to Holloway, because there is a 12 year statute of limitations on murder where he would be tried. 

    They also showed a video of Peruvian prisons – very shocking.  They are huge with not many guards.  Prisoners can kick people out of their assigned building, and then those pariah prisoners have to live like homeless in the open expanses of the prison property, foraging for food in the prison garbage.  They also said that anyone (for instance, the father of the new victim) could pay as little as $50 to another inmate to take him out.  The experts were saying that he’ll probably be eligible for parole in around 7-10 years, but that it’s not very likely he will survive that long in that world, even if no one pays to take him out.   They said he is “entering the gates of hell” by going to a Peruvian prison.

  • lorac

    I just heard on the news that he won’t confess to Holloway, because there is a 12 year statute of limitations on murder where he would be tried. 

    They also showed a video of Peruvian prisons – very shocking.  They are huge with not many guards.  Prisoners can kick people out of their assigned building, and then those pariah prisoners have to live like homeless in the open expanses of the prison property, foraging for food in the prison garbage.  They also said that anyone (for instance, the father of the new victim) could pay as little as $50 to another inmate to take him out.  The experts were saying that he’ll probably be eligible for parole in around 7-10 years, but that it’s very likely he will survive that long in that world, even if no one pays to take him out.   They said he is “entering the gates of hell” by going to a Peruvian prison.

  • lorac

    Teak, your spell checker knows something is wrong with “Obama” and is firm in its knowledge.

  • bamaLV

    juan williams and his ilk are still using W.O.R.M.(what obama really meant). why do they feel they always have to explain it to us?  like hes so smart and we are so stupid that we couldnt possibly understand what the  great and powerful  OZama really meant, especially when he says something stupid .or maybe its just wishful thinking.

  • lorac

    NLBiB – haven’t you watched any of BO’s (few) press conferences?

    “No follow questions allowed!”

  • Guest

    Larry, I got one for you and all your global warming deniers. I remember back in the winter, you Larry, were posting pics of the Washington snow storms and claiming it was evidence of no global warming. Well how do you explain this?

    “The three months that just ended have not been merely warm: they were the second warmest March, April and May in Washington’s weather history.
    The average temperature for the period from March 1 through May 31 was 60.5 degrees, the National Weather Service said.
    In records that go back to 1872, there has been only one year in which the March through May period was warmer: That was 1977, when the figure was 60. 7 degrees.
    The high temperature Saturday at Reagan National Airport was 91 degrees. That temperature was 10 degrees above the average high for June 5 and is in the range that many people consider characteristic of summer.
    The first four days of June also recorded high temperatures well above normal, although only Thursday hit the 90s, with a 92-degree high at National.
    Wednesday and Friday fell short of the 90s, with high readings of 89 degrees”

  • ~~JustMe~~

    Part 2

  • ~~JustMe~~

    Obama’s interview with Matt Lauer Part 1

  • FLDemFem

    BP is going to help Obummer out. By buying up search terms on search engines.. see here..

    “BP is being accused of trying to manipulate the search results on sites like Google and Yahoo, as it attempts to salvage its battered image following the oil slick in the Gulf of Mexico.
    The company is purchasing terms such as “oil spill”, “Deepwater Horizon” and “Gulf of Mexico”, so that when a user types these words into the search engines, the results prominently feature a “sponsored link” to BP’s official page on its response to the spill.
    Critics have described BP’s move as unethical. Maureen Mackey, a writer on the Fiscal Times, an online news site, said: “What it effectively does is that it bumps down other legitimate news and opinion pieces that are addressing the spill… and [BP are] paying big money for that.”
    The criticism comes as President Obama expressed unease at the amount of money the company was spending to counter the negative attention the company has received following the oil spill.
    <!–#include file=”m63-article-related-attachements.html”–>

    BP has confirmed that its digital teams based in Houston and London, together with the company’s marketing executives, are currently engaged in buying search terms.”

  • FLDemFem

    BP has other uses for its money. PR, for one. See below.