Tired of hearing the truth? No problem! All you need is a swig of this special Oil of O’bama and you’ll rid your brain of all those unwanted facts! Don’t be fooled by my supporters telling you we have this in the bag…they’re just sayin’ what they’ve been told to say. A couple of swigs from this Oil of O’bama helps the lies just slide off their silver tongues. Now you can do that, too!
Why is this necessary, you say? Well, I’m only a few weeks away from election day and McCain is ahead of me in the polls, he just reached 50%, a three point lead over me!
Oh yes, we have problems…right here in the Democratic Party. And that’s “Problems” with a capital “P” and that stands for Palin!
Howard Dean didn’t see this one coming. And Axelrod? Well, he didn’t think this was possible. After all, didn’t we smear Hillary enough to scare away any woman who would want to try and break that glass ceiling?
This Oil of O’bama will fix that, though. Just look at the fine job Charlie Gibson did on Palin during her interview on ABC. Yessiree bob, he opened up one of these bottles of Oil of O’bama and shared it with his editors and Voila! Half the interview was left on the cutting room floor. Yup, they made Palin look like she didn’t have a clue as to what she was talking about just by cutting out half of her answers. That’s the beauty of this stuff, it makes it all look so easy!
Buy a bottle for your friends, don’t be afraid to pass it around your college campus because I’m starting to lose some of that youth vote.
I know you guys say you’ll never leave me, and you may think you’re immune to my powers, but you must beware. The next time I pull a stunt like I did with my FISA vote, you’ll want to fortify the brainwashing you received during the Primary. I don’t want to see a repeat of you guys complaining about losing your Constitutional Rights. Once I get elected, I just may re-institute the military draft and you’re going to need my Oil of O’bama to fortify you as you get your draft notices in the mail.
Drink up, people….we’re running out of time and I need to go on vacation.