The Inexplicable * and an open thread
By SusanUnPC on October 23, 2008 at 1:45 PM in Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Open Thread
Larry’s post, “Barack’s Contrived Hawaii Trip,” had a profound effect on me.
My reaction isn’t so much about Larry’s sharp questioning of Obama’s and his campaign’s motives behind the trip to visit his grandmother in Hawaii, although Larry’s hunch and the quote from Barack’s great-uncle are very important to take in. My reaction was instead mostly about the recollections of my own childhood years and how our family reacted to dire news about a dear relative’s health, and my memories of what real families really do in real life-and-death situations.
If the family of Barack Obama in any way had healthy relationships with other relatives, his wife Michelle would have insisted on going with him, and bringing both daughters to see their great-grandmother, perhaps for the very last time.
It is incredibly special to have a living great-grandparent, and all great-grandchildren should be given every — every — opportunity to see them. In fact, the parents should go out of their way to ensure that their children see those great-grandparents.
I simply cannot fathom why Barack Obama is not bringing along his wife and two daughters. I further cannot fathom why Michelle Obama isn’t insisting on going and bringing both lovely daughters.
The reason is so simple. It is what real families do. Whatever strains and harsh words may have passed, in the long ago past, between Michelle and Mrs. Dunham should not — in a real life-and-death situation — matter at all. (Surely there must have been some alienating experiences in order to explain Michelle’s absence when the entire family was in Hawaii last summer and Barack visited his grandmother alone.)
When I was a child, my mother would have insisted on taking me to visit my father’s dying grandmother.
My mother took me several times to meet my great-grandmother. I’ve forgotten so many little experiences from my childhood, but I vividly recall those times I saw “Great Grandma.” I remember her standing all bent over in her perfectly kept home that had a telephone on the wall with a hand crank. She would reach out to me with her hand, stroking my cheek,and smiling so gently. I knew in an instant why my mother loved her so much. It was unforgettable.
My great-grandmother and grandmother spoke very little English, so my mother would translate for us. But mostly we communicated, intimately, through the expressions on our faces and through touching each others’ hands and faces.
And I remember when my mother got the news that my great-grandmother was dying. My mom dashed around to make travel arrangements, and we all made the long journey — all of us, including my father, my sibling, me and my mother.
During our stay, we visited my great-grandmother in the hospital daily. She was so weak, and barely conscious. I distinctly recall my mother gently spooning bits of water and tiny amounts of oil into her mouth, and holding her hand. I held her hand too. We mostly stood still, not speaking much. But it was all-important to be there. With her.
So, while I do not know the intimate dynamics of Barack Obama’s family situation, I do know that he feels strongly that his grandmother contributed greatly to his life and helped him get the marvelous education that helped his life path.
There is no scenario that I can imagine in which Michelle Obama would not join Barack Obama in Hawaii, and with both daughters.
Even if she had a ugly relationship with Mrs. Dunham, wouldn’t Michelle wish to be there as Barack loses his last living close relative? Wouldn’t Michelle wish to be present as a support to her husband, if not her great-mother-in-law?
And why on earth would she not wish her two daughters to see their great-grandmother before she passes on?
And why would she not wish to give her husband the solace of having his two daughters near him as he spends precious time with his grandmother?
I understand none of this.
It is inexplicable to me.
And now, for an open thread — feel free to post about anything you wish. I just had to get this off my chest.
by Ronald Scott
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