THE CHARGE OF THE PLUMBERS’ PLUNGERS
By SusanUnPC on October 29, 2008 at 5:20 PM in Barack Obama, CNN, Fox News, Hillary Clinton, MSNBC, Media Bias, Media Handling of Story
Viewers’ Alert Time (ET and PT time zones): 8:00 p.m., October 29, 2008 (I believe Midwesterners have it scheduled for 7:00 p.m.)
Viewers’ Alert Channels: NBC, CBS, and Fox Entertainment (following the world series game, if played tonight)
In lieu of watching those channels, may I suggest that we all tune in at precisely that time to FOX NEWS? Or how about Pushing Daisies on ABC?
Many of us, particularly we Hillary Clinton supporters, stumbled onto a heretofore unknown territory during the primary contests of 2007 and 2008. We true-blue types had always bought the Democratic party’s line, and all the liberal blather, that told us that Fox News was a hardcore knuckle-dragging scream machine for rightwingers. To protect our precious minds and to deny them rating points, we should never click on that channel.
But, lo, as we became very disheartened with the coverage of Hillary Clinton on CNN and especially MSNBC, we became wildly adventurous out of sheer desperation. We were so starved for positive news that, like the Donner Party, we made a brutal choice, no matter how unappetizing the choice. We clicked. We actually gave Fox News a try-out, even though we had ZERO expectations that we would get any nourishment. However, to our utter amazement, we discovered that not only did we stave off near-fatal starvation, but that we could reliably hear far more fair, and far more balanced news stories on Fox News than on CNN and most assuredly on MSNBC (which became best known as MSNBO). Why, Fox News actually reported fair and positive stories about all of the Democratic candidates (unlike CNN and MSNBO which were heavily weighted to favor Barack Obama and regularly reported ugly and foul stories about Hillary Clinton).
So, it is only “fair” that, in return for their more balanced coverage, we reward Fox News tonight with a bump in ratings.
Besides — INSERT VERY LOUD AUDIO OF DRUMROLLS HERE — if you should make the mistake of tuning in at 8:00 p.m. ET/PT to NBC, CBS or Fox Entertainment, you will see this (minus the intervention of Joe The Plumber):
In any fair and balanced world, Joe The Plumber would march out with his plunger and stick it in Barack Obama’s face.
And, dear faithful readers, in a truly fair and balanced world, we would — just for tonight — all inhabit the same time zone so that I could post that cartoon at the top of this story DURING that precise half-hour time period.
I reached out to Larry Johnson for inspiration as I worked on the draft of this story, and he suggested this paragraph for the finale:
If you have the stomach to watch the Golden Child try to induce mass hypnotism tonight you may want to grab the tool that plumbers regularly use to dislodge a wad of fecal material and get the pipes open. Yep, grab your plunger. You’re going to need it because the bullshit will be thick and deep.
Isn’t that Larry just the most inspiring guy ever ?!?!?!?!
And, I guess we’ll all be watching Bill O’Reilly tonight!
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by Ronald Scott
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