By a slight, statistically insignificant margin, according to a new Harvard Study.

No, I am not making this up. Really. I swear. Paul Bedard had this report in the US World and News Report, “Harvard: July 4th Parades Are Right-Wing.” Who knew, right? I just thought these parades were celebrating the Independence of our country. Who knew that they were really right wing breeding grounds? Or so these Harvard researchers claim:

[snip]”Fourth of July celebrations in the United States shape the nation’s political landscape by forming beliefs and increasing participation, primarily in favor of the Republican Party,” said the report from Harvard.

“The political right has been more successful in appropriating American patriotism and its symbols during the 20th century. Survey evidence also confirms that Republicans consider themselves more patriotic than Democrats. According to this interpretation, there is a political congruence between the patriotism promoted on Fourth of July and the values associated with the Republican party. Fourth of July celebrations in Republican dominated counties may thus be more politically biased events that socialize children into Republicans,” write Harvard Kennedy School Assistant Professor David Yanagizawa-Drott and Bocconi University Assistant Professor Andreas Madestam.

Their findings also suggest that Democrats gain nothing from July 4th parades, likely a shocking result for all the Democratic politicians who march in them.


Uh, yeah – I bet it would be a shocking result. But even more shocking is the percentages by which these researchers claim these findings:

[snip] * When done before the age of 18, it increases the likelihood of a youth identifying as a Republican by at least 2 percent.
* It raises the likelihood that parade watchers will vote for a Republican candidate by 4 percent.
* It boosts the likelihood a reveler will vote by about 1 percent and increases the chances they’ll make a political contribution by 3 percent.

[…]

Finally, the report suggests that if people are looking for a super-patriotic July 4th, though should head to Republican towns. “Republican adults celebrate Fourth of July more intensively in the first place.” (Click here to read the rest.)

Gosh, “Republican towns” like, say, BOSTON??? Good grief.

Really, these “statistics” are laughable – by 1%? 2%? 3%? What was the margin or error in these stats? Let me guess, 1%? 2%? 3%? What a freakin’ joke.

And if I may quote one more comment I saw, I cannot let this one by Michael Dean slip by. It is just too damn funny:

Good News for Democrats!

Who says Democrats don’t celebrate Independence Day? Yesterday the White House updated President Obama’s July 4th schedule to include a stop in London where the Commander-in-Chief will officially apologize to the Queen and the British people for North America’s racist colonial aggression of the late 18th Century that led to the illegal formation of the breakaway United States. In a ceremonial gesture that U.S. liberals call long overdue, the President will formally repay the Crown for the tea and other property lost in 1773 when disloyal Massachussetts residents committed acts of economic terrorism by tossing cases of tea into Boston Harbor. Scientists have reached a consensus that this original so-called “Tea Party” created an environmental hazard which remains a primary cause of global warming and therefore a threat to all life on earth, especially women, minorities, and the poor. In recognition of the worldwide suffering caused by centuries of American exceptionalism, Democrats will mark the upcoming July 4th holiday with legislation calling for a “success surcharge” on all U.S. households earning more than $250,000 per year. Vice President Biden calls it “the patriotic thing to do.” Finally, Senate Democrats will celebrate July 4th by joining hands on the steps of the Capitol where they will sing the updated version of “God Bless America” entitled, “May the Deity You Find Least Offensive Improve the Lives of Everyone on Earth, Especially Undocumented Immigrants.” Happy 4th of July!!!

Indeed.

Can you believe someone PAID for this study, and even thought to look at it in these terms in the FIRST place? WTH?

Wow, all these years, I was under the misguided assumption that the Fourth of July was a celebration for all Americans to acknowledge the birth of this great Nation. Evidently not, at least according to these Harvard researchers. Enjoy celebrating our Independence Day all by your lonesomes, Republicans. Apparently, the Democrats will be sitting it out…