First Pooch
By Pat Racimora on November 9, 2008 at 6:40 PM in Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Obama
Let’s just set aside our economy and health care, Iraq, Afghanistan, and Iran for the moment and deal with the pressing matter that is currently attracting the nation’s attention–the choice of a puppy for the Obama girls.
The puppy must be hypoallergenic, an absolute requirement as Malia is allergic to dog dander. (All dogs produce some dander, but some breeds produce far less than others.)
OK, I have given this a lot of thought and have the answer. A Tibetan Terrier. Here are the politically-relevant reasons:
1. They are politically correct in that they come in all colors, including multi-colored.
2. They have the stamina (healthy and long-living) to stand up to just about anything. They are not afraid of even bigger dogs (which means they need to be watched carefully so as not to get their heads bit off.)
3. They are master stealth persuaders—can get anyone to do anything they want done in unorthodox ways. (Jedi, above, wants dinner NOW!)
4. They are the canine version of the Secret Service. They remain perpetually vigilant for anything that might impact on their human companions’ safety and well-being, often remaining alert while the humans are asleep–roaming and watching.
5. This 2,000 year old breed (the holy dogs of the Tibetan monks, both then and now) were the symbols of hope and good fortune. They were never to be sold, only given away to travelers and others as a gesture of good will.
6. They have unique feet that look like tiny waffle irons. This allows them to walk with grace on any surface (such as on top of snow) and keeps them steady and balanced despite any dangerous terrain. In fact, they are often sent on missions to recover lost items that fell down a crevice.
Aside from the appropriate political advantages in the form of a pet, they are rollicking goofballs that greet all humans with a wiggling butt that makes Tahitian dancers look like they are standing still by comparison.
Of course, a shelter dog would send a hopeful message of change to all dogs who need homes. President-elect Obama is skeptical, however, because most shelter dogs are mutts like him. (He said it, I didn’t). However, purebreds do show up at shelters all the time. Or, mixtures of two or more of the below will meet the hypoallergenic criteria:
American Hairless Terrier, Basenji, Bedlington Terrier, Bergamasco, Bichon Frise, Bichon/Yorkie, Bolognese, Border Terrier, Bouvier des Flandres, Cairn Terrier, Cavachon, Chacy Ranior, Chinese Crested (hairless), Cockapoo, Coton De Tulear, Doodleman Pinscher, Giant Schnauzer, Hairless Khala, Havanese, Irish Water Spaniel, Kerry Blue Terrier, Labradoodle, Lagotto Romagnolo, Lowchen, Maltese, Malti-Poo, Miniature Poodle, Miniature Schnauzer, Native American Indian Dog, Peruvian Inca Orchid, Polish Owczarek Nizinny, Poos, Portuguese Water Dog, Puli, Schnoodle, Shepadoodle. Shichon, Shih-Tzu, Soft Coated Wheaten Terrier, Spanish Water Dog. Standard Poodle, Standard Schnauzer, Tibetan Terrier, Toy Poodle, West Highland White Terrier, Wirehaired Fox Terrier, Xoloitzcuintle, or Yorkshire Terrier.
What do you think about this “momentous” early decision that the Obama family must make?
by Ronald Scott
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