Republican Adolescents + Open Thread
By Bronwyn's Harbor on January 25, 2012 at 6:30 PM in Current Affairs
This is a snippet. Below, see the full contract for Newt's $25K/month influence peddling for Freddie Mac.
Republican voters’ fantasies are skipping the primaries and fast-forwarding to the mano a mano battles next fall. Their testosterone-fueled “wet dreams” come with their highly-anticipated fantasies envisioned in the “finger lickin’ good” possibility of debate clashes between mental muscle orator Newt “The History Hunk” Gingrich and Barack “Bazinga” Obama. More and more GOP voters are convinced that, in the debates, Gingrich would demolish Obama (and worry that Romney won’t).
That said, the GOP voters forget that Obama is one cool customer. And they don’t factor in that Obama’s team knows all about Gingrich’s oral prowess, and is already gearing up to prep the practice sessions and Obama. They also forget that Gingrich’s rhetoric will need a hasty overhaul if he makes it to the general, since at present, claims the Wall Street Journal, he’s attacking Romney “primarily from the left and in language indistinguishable from the Obama campaign’s.”
Important: No presidential debate is determinative. If they were, John Kerry would have won in 2004 (given incumbent George W. Bush’s god-awful debate performances), and it’s likely that Hillary Clinton, with her superior debate skills and mastery of every topic the debate moderators threw at her, would have bested Obama in 2008. Thus, it is SHEER FOLLY for Republicans to choose Gingrich because he may win debates with Obama. Far more is needed; what may defeat Obama is the candidate with experiences Obama still hasn’t bothered to learn, despite three years in the presidency, such as leadership and running a business; in those areas Mitt Romney beats both Gingrich and Obama.
Absent from adolescent puppy love is anything sensible and realistic that might interfere with the besotted GOP voters’ nocturnal dreams where sperm dance merrily and victory is assured, … albeit with the long-anticipated CLIMAX, not the result of intercourse but of the fulfillment — finally — of the long-anticipated showdown when Gingrich will destroy Obama through his exceptional mastery of extemporaneous speeches, particularly compared to Obama’s lack of talent, evidenced by his reliance on a teleprompter.
Also missing from the GOP voters’ nocturnal dreams are Gingrich’s liabilities, … including his historian duties lobbying for Freddie Mac, his praise for the unfunded Medicare Part D, and his defense of agricultural subsidies. Unconsidered too, but telling, are many consistent polls that show that Romney fares far better against Barack Obama than does Gingrich (Real Clear Politics averages: Obama 1.9% over Romney; Obama up 11.0% over Gingrich).
A WSJ op-ed by Jason Riley warns that adolescent Republicans, so turned on by Gingrich, had better stop, look, and listen:
Mitt Romney finally got aggressive at Monday night’s Republican presidential debate in a performance that, among other things, called into question Newt Gingrich’s vaunted rhetorical skills.
Mr. Romney, who has sometimes appeared to be uncomfortable with his wealth and how he came by it, forcefully defended his background in private equity. The former Massachusetts governor also challenged Mr. Gingrich’s credentials as a leader and reminded viewers that Mr. Gingrich was the first House speaker in history to be ousted. “The speaker was given an opportunity to be the leader of our party in 1994. And at the end of four years he had to resign in disgrace,” said Mr. Romney.
Because NBC’s Brian Williams refused to become Mr. Gingrich’s latest media foil, the former speaker was left to defend his record in Congress and his lucrative work for Freddie Mac. It wasn’t his finest moment. Mr. Gingrich was hired by the housing giant’s chief lobbyist but insisted, implausibly, that he wasn’t hired to peddle influence. “I offered strategic advice largely based on my knowledge of history, including the history of Washington,” said the former speaker.
“They don’t pay people $25,000 a month for six years as historians,” Mr. Romney responded.
One of the mysteries of this primary campaign is how Mr. Gingrich came to be regarded as an exceptional debater based on an ability to draw standing ovations from partisan audiences by attacking the press and insulting moderators who ask questions that he doesn’t want to answer. Another head-scratcher is why he wins praise as the conservative alternative to Mr. Romney despite criticizing the former governor primarily from the left and in language indistinguishable from the Obama campaign’s.
Mr. Gingrich regularly derides his rival as a “Massachusetts moderate,” but last night it was the former speaker who praised Medicare Part D and defended agriculture subsidies. Score this debate for Mr. Romney. …
Read all: “Romney Regains His Footing,” WSJ, January 24, 2012.
YOUR TURN!
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