By all means post the name of that restaurant.

He poured salt on the wound when he instead should have said, that the man was protected by the First Amendment and the C-word is not covered under the hate crime law. The policeman should have behaved in a professional manner.

What he did was expose that he was a misogynist and thought the whole thing was amusing.

But hey, policeman break the proper code of behavior all the time. Ask any black person. I’ve heard and seen worse. When it comes to asshole policeman, your only recourse is the Civilian Review Board. Sad but true, but cops are equal opportunity offenders.

You hit the nail on the head! Having been raised to offer women seats.

And who for the most part is responsible for doing the lion’s share of raising children especially when they are young?

Women.

But of course that’s blaming the victim.

It couldn’t be possibly teaching the victim to use what power and influence they do have in changing things.

The truth is many mothers dote on their sons to the point where they refuse to accept that one day they will be men and not adorable little boys forever. A lot of mothers don’t care how their sons treat women as long as they enjoy that special relationship with a male.

I don’t buy into all of the victimization crap. Some of it is beyond our control. But there are areas where we can make a difference.

Aren’t we even having this discussion because of the fact people won’t be responsible for their behavior and have to be called on it?

But let me say another thing, elderly people often lose their sense of boundaries. I’ve noticed this with elderly women too.

Another factor is the dirty old man reality. Elderly men who have not had contact with women often seize any available opportunity. Ask nurses about this.

Why be a victim? Why is passivity always the immediate response? Why not turn to the elderly gent and say, Excuse me, but you’re practically in my seat. Or as someone recommended, let management handle it.

To come of with that don’t blame the victim defense is unfair when you did have options other than sitting there seething, is something you need to deal with.

Fine.

Then be prepared to defend yourself!

Needing the law enforcement to defend you after you precipitate and provoke, honors nothing.

But who decides which rage is valid?

Is the person driving who becomes enraged over being cut off, valid?

This was a pointless confrontation and handled poorly by the women from the moment the C-word was spoken.

If the C-word sparked the women’s rage, then they should have physically attacked the men from the start.

Get it on and may the best person win.

But to try and validate escalating a fight over a seat at a bar as something honorable? Sorry, no.

If you’ve reached the stage in life where you can’t stand at a bar and drink if it’s crowded, then the bar scene is no longer for you. Reserve a table.

These pricks didn’t want to give up the seat. There’s no law saying they had to or be nice about it.

Anyone needing to stand up on an honor priniciple about this, simply needs to be able to defend themselves. If you can’t, then you have no alternative but to choke down that rage or accept the consequences. If the woman who was beaten can stand up and say today, I’d do it again. Then good for her. I respect that.

My point is that actions have consequences. Believe me, assholes like these guys will get theirs eventually, too.

It’s just unfortunate that there’s no such thing as fast food karma.

Surely, to acknowledge that sexism exists will mean that it must be dealt with and stopped! Why would men who condone such behavior in the first place ever want to acknowledge that it exists? The way they see may be, what’s in it for me, if sexism were ever to be acknowledged as wrong?

Women must come to terms with the reality that if we ever want to get respect from men, we must first have it for each other, especially when it comes to standing up for one another and not backing down, when things get rough.

I have no illustions that achieving equality will be a hard fought battle (as all battles for women’s rights have always been), and that is the last remaining obstacle for women to break down in order to be able to live their lives in full measure, as men have been able to do since the beginning of time. What a great and terrible loss to the world that women have been so oppressed for so long!

If we can just figure out how to explain it to men that equality with women will not diminish their stature or their place in the world, but will only enhance it far beyond what it is now.

This is very wise.

I’m still trying to understand why these women couldn’t simply take ‘no’ for an answer. And why even after management interfered without success, why didn’t they simply take their business elsewhere.

What point was proven?

That you can get your ass kicked by someone sizeably larger than you after starting a fight? And now project this sense of heighten indignation aka being a ‘victim.’ And I’d tell a man the same thing. Don’t start a fight you can’t finish or at the very least make a good showing.

If these guys weren’t civil or chivalrous enough to offer a seat, why on earth would you think they would NOT respond to a glass of water being thrown on their head?

I’m all for throwing the water if you are prepared to back it up.

Anybody NOT teaching their daughters the rules of engagement is doing them a disservice.

Chivalry is an extinct code of behavior in the modern world. The men who still practise it are a dying breed. And truthfully, I’ve watched young mothers on buses not teaching their small sons how to behave in a chivalrous manner. This is behavior you teach while they are young. If you don’t, forgetaboutit!

mountain girl seems to be the only one here on the same wavelength with me.

First, let me say this, I condemn the behavior of those men. Why call someone at the bar a name just because they tried to negotiate a seat? If the person you were holding the seat for was just outside, then say that. Or simply say no and turn your back. If this had been me, I would have simply said “Whoa, ‘no’ is all you had to say!” The bartendar could have explained that I can ask, but I can’t force them to give up the seat.

I tended bar for many years and have seen worse behavior, believe it or not. When alcohol is involved people act crazy. It’s no excuse, but it pays to be aware that if you come upon aggressive behavior, recognize that alcohol is only going to make the situation worse.

Someone here mentioned that women should study self-defense. I agree. I studied karate. But let me tell you, any good sensei worth his/her salt is also going to teach the philosophy behind the art of defending yourself and one aspect is to know when to RETREAT.

What part of some strange man calling you the C-word over a seat doesn’t scream, this guy has a HUGE PROBLEM, leave him alone? Or at the most, go to the manager, tell them about it and let management handle it. They’ll either ask the men to leave or separate everyone.

It’s a minority opinion here, but the fact is the woman who poured water was WRONG! It is a physical act of aggression and although I think the man’s response was beyond the pale and WRONG as well, it comes under the concept of provocation. Being called a name does not carry the same weight.

If women want the use of the C-word to be filed under the protection of hate crimes, then organize to get it included under the law. I’ll certainly join the fight. But remember, women call each other that name too. Just as AAs use the N-word with each other.

I come from the “sticks and stones” school of thought. Words can never hurt me. When you work in a bar for years, you learn not to be thin-skinned.

Few here want to accept that the women were equally as agressive as the men. Getting worked up over a seat? The underlying reality is that the women were also getting worked up over the fact that the men were not being chivalrous in the face of their femininity as well. Women still want men to offer them seats as well as other acts of gentlemanly behavior. Real men do adhere to the code. But there are an awful lot of men who don’t and there’s no law saying they have to. All you can do is ask politely/civilly for a seat and if it’s ‘No’, deal with it and move on. If your legs are tired, maybe a less crowded restaurant.

I think it’s disgusting the way that man behaved. But the police told you the truth, under the law, he would not be arrested because the woman was the aggessor. Is it unfair? Before I could answer that question, I’d like to know why the woman felt compelled to be physically aggressive without being prepared to defend herself? And everyone should know that when you cross the boundary with physical action, anything goes.

Women are always demonized in the legal process, turned into provocateurs, ‘deserve it,’ etc. The imbalance between what a woman does and what the man does supposedly ‘because she nagged me’ always gets erased or turned around.

Have you considered a complaint to the police board and the chamber of commerce, to take it up to the management levels of both types of male-dominated establishments?

PUMA!!!