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Confession: I’m a Greg Gutfeld Girl … and hk2′s open thread

BREAKING! V.P. Joe Biden has canceled his Tampa trip “to coincide with” the GOP Convention out of an “‘abundance of caution’” to ensure “local law enforcement and emergency management resources” can focus on those “who might be impacted by the storm” and “those attending the activities.” I am verklempt.

NOW! Being a Gutfeld Girl is the same as being an Obama Girl except I don’t have fake boobs and I can’t vote for Gutfeld to be president. Damn it all.

Wait! That’s a presidency I’d buy tickets to see! Actually, it might be a damn fine presidency! Except when he talks about unicorns during his State of the Union address. What would Nancy Pelosi do then? Maybe laugh and break her face?

How does he do it? On TWO shows daily — The Five and Red Eye with Greg Gutfled — Gutfeld writes and delivers his own material. He doesn’t have a team of writers, creating jokes a la Jon Stewart (ahem). Nope. Gutfeld comes up with all of it since he’s so unique it’d be nearly impossible for another writer to simulate his style.

Here is “‘Red Eye’ recreates Prince Harry’s wild night” — with The Five‘s Andrea Tantaros:

Here’s the gang at Red Eye mocking various criticisms of Paul Ryan:

Oh c-r-a-p. I can’t decide which ones to keep up and which to toss away. So just go to hell go here and laugh all by yourselves.

P.S. Here’s Bill Schulz:

Highly recommended: “Rocker says Obama staged Colorado, Sikh temple shootings.” That “rocker” is certifiably LOONEY TUNES.

I’m hopeless … hopelessly bunched over in a fit of giggles whenever Greg is on. When I’m watching Greg, my semi-feral cat actually comes out from under my bed to make sure I’m alright.

P.P.S. My cat’s name is Moo-Moosie. Don’t you dare ask why.

  • getfitnow

    I keep reading that they’re grooming her.

    She’s as scary as
    That One—but with high cheek bones!

    I don’t really care. I’m an independent—have voted for both
    parties. I just can’t imagine considering anyone on the left until Rotor Rooter is
    called in to clean this party out.

    http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2012/06/elizabeth-warren-for-president-democrats-barren-2016-bench/258772/

  • KenoshaMarge

    Since this is an open thread…

    Tapper, Norah O’Donnell, and Campbell Brown Rebel Against the Media-Collective

    http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Journalism/2012/08/22/Jake-Tapper-Im-Spartacus-Inspire-Others

    We all know that Jake Tapper is a rebel but O’Donnell and Brown are “news” to me. Hope it is true. I will have to eat many nasty words about those women but if it means an unbiased reporter here and there I will gladly do so. Pass the salt please.

  • HELENK2
  • HELENK2

    http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2012/08/25/The-Hope-and-The-Change

    more information on the movie Hope and Change.
    it will be played at the convention on Tuesday

    • HObama HObamanana

      Was kind of hoping this would be broadcast from the convention. Not sure that will happen as the ads for it state it will be shown in a theater in Tampa.

  • beachnan

    I love Greg too! Every time I watch Red Eye it puts me in a better mood. I also really enjoy watching The Five. I love how they go after Obama and Beckal. I like them all, but I have really been impressed with Dana Perino. She is one sharp woman, and she always seems to be able to back up what she has to say. Whew, what a difference in perception five years and and Obama administration can make in your life.

    • KenoshaMarge

      I know what you mean. I am ashamed to say that I used to dislike her just because she was a part of the Bush Administration. I am now finding that many of my opinions were nothing more than partisan talking points. That makes me cringe now.

      • HObama HObamanana

        Something I always believed when I was a Democrat was that the Dem party was the champion of Civil Rights. Since I took the blindfold off and earplugs out I’ve started to study history. On thing has become very clear to me, the Republican party has from it’s inception been the leader of civil rights in this country. I can’t believe that I supported a party for so many years that stood in the way of nearly every attempt to bring equality to every US citizen. I’m somewhat ashamed to say that I was duped by my own ignorance, if not sheer stupidity.

        • KenoshaMarge

          One thing about having your eyes opened in by a party you supported behaving in a despicable way, as the Dems did in 2008, culminating with my complete and utter repudiation of them on May 31st is that you tend to mistrust most politicians and political talk. The public is also mistrustful of the media that presented Obama as more than he was. Because once the glitter settles, he ain’t much.

          I no longer trust any politician and seriously try to investigate any and all claims as best I can. Obama I simply ignore since he’s a proven liar and why listen to more lies?

          Presstitutes are for the most part just liberal whores who will say anything or do anything that slams the right and praises the left. They are making themselves more irrelevent every day. They don’t care because no reality ever enters their borg like collective.

  • Hokma

    Although I DVR the show everyday, the fact is that I get up at 3 AM every day anyway. It’s a great format and a great show. Gutfeld is a brilliant satirist.

    If I met Gutfeld the one question I would have is, will there ever be a time when in place of the daily woman with nice legs sitting in what Gutfeld calls the leg chair at the end of table be replaced with Andy Levy in hot pants?

  • HELENK2
  • HELENK2
    • no_longer_a_democrat

      oh that’s so good! I really like colonel west also. a true patriot.

  • HELENK2
  • HELENK2

    http://sacramento.cbslocal.com/gas/

    hope this helps. where to find cheapest gas in your area

  • http://twitter.com/adagioforstring adagioforstrings

    Again, ott, I’m sad that Victor Roberts is dead

  • no_longer_a_democrat

    I’ve never heard of this Greg gutfiled, but he’s pretty funny!

    • BronwynsHarbor

      Don’t you get Fox News? He’s on at 5 p.m., 2:00 a.m. and 3:00 a.m. ET.

      • no_longer_a_democrat

        browyn, no unfortunately I had to cut my cable, so if I watch Fox, its at work, they have a TV in the office area and its kept on Fox news during the day…. but at home, no cable unfortunately, things are tight moneywise so I cut back on many things, cable being one of them. I’m hoping I can get it back in a few months.

        • HELENK2

          please see my link about where to find cheaper gas in your area. maybe it will help

  • http://twitter.com/adagioforstring adagioforstrings

    somewhat ott, anti-US UK Owen Jones in first video looks like some middle school wedgie victim, like Dana et al suggested

  • HELENK2
  • HELENK2
    • getfitnow

      This was great. I do hope some of the surrogates start tooting the horn. I understand the humbleness of this man, and that is an endearing quality, particularly after President Look-at-Me.

      I understand Romney has a great ad team ready to go as soon as they can get some of the GE $$.

  • HELENK2

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-19383328#TWEET206240

    various astronauts on the death of Neil Armstrong

    • HELENK2

      iowahawk

      God has a great pilot to help keep the stars in their courses.

      • KenoshaMarge

        What a great response! Shows that iowahawk has a great heart as well as a giant funny bone.

  • HELENK2

    the Nothing But Crap organization could screw up a one car funeral

    http://www.powerlineblog.com/archives/2012/08/maybe-nbc-should-hire-some-guys-in-pajamas.php

    • KenoshaMarge

      Could it be that, just perhaps, NBC, aka nothing but crap network, is a bit biased?

  • foxyladi14

    “High Flight”

    Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth

    And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;

    Sunward I’ve climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth

    of sun-split clouds, — and done a hundred things

    You have not dreamed of — wheeled and soared and swung

    High in the sunlit silence. Hov’ring there,

    I’ve chased the shouting wind along, and flung

    My eager craft through footless halls of air….

    Up, up the long, delirious, burning blue

    I’ve topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace.

    Where never lark, or even eagle flew —

    And, while with silent, lifting mind I’ve trod

    The high untrespassed sanctity of space,

    – Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.

    • foxyladi14

      Say hello to Sally.Prayers fir the grieving family.

    • Popsmoke

      Fly me to the moon…

      Let me play among the stars..

      Let me see what spring is like on Jupitor and Mars..

      In other words hold my hand….

    • HObama HObamanana

      A very beautiful poem. Thank you.

  • HELENK2
  • HObama HObamanana

    While the “big three” networks will be covering only one hour per night of the Republican Convention, MSNBC and CNN will begin coverage each night at 7pm. PBS will cover it beginning at 8pm. Eastern times.

    • foxyladi14

      should be on C-SPAN

      • BronwynsHarbor

        It is! I skipped ahead and its on ALL DAY and EVENING. Woohoo … but how can I hear the analyses and watch C-Span at the same time? I can’t figure that one out.

  • ElinorRose

    I must also confess to being a Greg Gutfeld lover for several years now. I often awake bleary eyed from staying up till 3 a.m. to watch Red Eye (gotta get a DVR). His observations on everything from pop culture to politics continue to amaze me day after day, week after week, and year after year. I love how he tries to include his mom as a “senior” correspondent now and then.
    Additionally, his lively interaction with Bob Beckel on “The Five” has actually caused me to develop a little bit of a soft spot for the “token” liberal guy on the panel. And pathetic sidekick Bill always makes me smile.
    All in all, Greg has a better handle on the issues than most of the other senior members of Fox News’ brain trust. (Yeah, I’m talkin’ about YOU, O’Reilly and Hannity!)

    • http://twitter.com/adagioforstring adagioforstrings

      Yes, it’s easier on your sleep schedule to record the show. I use my old VCR, since I’m too cheap for the DVR thing.

    • KenoshaMarge

      I also am a “Greg Gutfeld” gal. I DVR Red Eye and The Five. I can put up with Beckel, although I usually fast forward or mute his remarks, but Juan Williams is more than I can stand.
      I love the Greg and Dana “altercations”.

  • HObama HObamanana

    I answered my very first “poll” call today. I was asked who I would be voting for and I read the poor woman the riot act. I wanted to know who was sponsoring this poll, were they being paid by Democrats and a few other things. Once I was convinced that she was legit I really gave her an ear full.

    Instead of giving simple answers I went into great depth as to why I was answering as such. I went on and on and thankfully she actually appreciated my point of view and chimed in with a few things that coincided with my own statements. In short, we had a long conversation, well over 15 minutes, about the nature of the Democrat party and it’s liberal, socialist agenda. I also had a nice rant about how upset I was for being called a racist merely for not supporting Obama. And she understood and added a few examples of how she had been called a racist too. What a trip.

    I can hardly wait for a Democrat pollster to call me. Stay tuned.

    • foxyladi14

      lololol let us know.