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Open Thread * ANTHRAX SCARE AT the Seattle Seahawks’ QwesT Field! Your Help Needed!

By SusanUnPC on November 29, 2008 at 4:30 PM in Current Affairs

(This is a classified report that my neighbor intercepted. – nasuS)

November 28, 2008 – Seahawks football practice was delayed nearly two hours, late this morning after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field.

Head coach Mike Holmgren (former head coach at Green Bay) immediately suspended practice while police and federal agents were called to investigate.

After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance, unknown to the players, was the goal line.

Practice was resumed this afternoon after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again.


My neighbor used to hack into federal computer systems all the time, during commercials on ESPN and any channel that airs sports. But, tragically, he got a DVR. And now he just fast-forwards through the commercials, so has nearly given up his essential hobby.

Luckily for us, the Seahawks and all of Seattle, he goofed yesterday. He didn’t pre-set the show far enough in advance, and ended up seeing the message dreaded by all DVR addicts on their television sets — “LIVE TV” — DURING A COMMERCIAL! — so he went back to his old hobby of hacking into the NSA, FBI, CIA, Dick Cheney’s typewriter, John Yoo’s Blackberry, and David Addington’s enormous globular head.

OT: He once hacked into Maureen Dowd’s brain but it was so lousy with bugs and teeming with worms that he feared for his computer.

:::::::

I HAVE A REQUEST OF YOU. Stealing his DVR is not an option because he’s armed to the teeth, and his best friend next door has an arsenal that the original Black Panthers would have envied.

What other places can we entice him to hack into that might trigger his interest in hacking again?

:::::::

OPEN THREAD!

  • pm317

    What other places can we entice him to hack into that might trigger his interest in hacking again?

    Obama’s brain to see if there is a real fight going on between his two flip-flop states on everything. To see if all the lies he tells are being chased by the truth he only knows.

  • beebop

    Susan …. this is hilarious. How did they miss the Lions and Browns?

    I got a great big chuckle from this post. Thanks much.

  • http://ezinearticles.com/?Three-Basic-Parenting-Styles&id=744499 Northwest rain

    OK — I have a SeaHawk story.

    I was on vacation in the Caribbean. It was Thanksgiving and we were at a table with expats. Some of the men were having a discussion about football — then I heard “SeaHawks” so I listened — one of the guys was saying that the SeaHawks would go to the Super Bowl. I started laughing — because I though he was telling a joke. Silence — the men stared at me. Oops this wasn’t a joke. There were some people from Alaska (they’ve adopted the SeaHawks up in Alaska) and they started to laugh.

    We couldn’t believe that the guys who were trying to sound like football experts knew anything at all about the SeaHawks — and those of us from the West Coast kept laughing at the jokes.

    It was so strange to be thousands of miles away and hear about the “home” team — in such glowing terms.

  • socalannie

    ROFL! Poor Seattle! God, you guys have really gotten screwed by your sports teams this year. Mariners, Seahawks, Huskies…so sad. I’m not being snarky either, I love Seattle; my whole family lives in B’ham. (Actually, my husband & son love to torment my brother in Bham about this, but my brother deserves it!!!)

  • bemused

    Can he hack into Columbia University’s student data base to get a GPA on their most famous grad? Or any sign of his presence there at all?

  • http://hillary-clinton.bestpoliticalblogs.co.uk/2008/11/29/open-thread-anthrax-scare-at-the-seattle-seahawks%e2%80%99-qwest-field/ Open Thread * ANTHRAX SCARE AT the Seattle Seahawks’ QwesT Field … at Hillary Clinton On Best Political Blogs

    [...] Open Thread * ANTHRAX SCARE AT the Seattle Seahawks’ QwesT Field … by Hillary Rodham Clinton. Gusher of Lies: The Dangerous Delusions of Energy Independence. Seen on 60 Minutes: daltonfury160.jpg · Kill Bin Laden: A Delta Force Commander’s Account of the Hunt for the World’s Most Wanted Man … [...]

  • twp

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/11/28/AR2008112802453.html

    Samantha Power, the Harvard professor who was forced to resign from Barack Obama’s presidential campaign last spring after calling Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton “a monster,” is now advising the president-elect on transition matters relating to the State Department — which Clinton is slated to head.

  • imustprotest

    I’d like him to hack in to the birth records in Hawaii…circa 1961.

  • Steve_in_KC

    Is this the guy who hacked into the passports of the candidates last year? If so, can we publish what he found? And what he changed? ;)

  • Morty

    Ah, the look on their little narcissistic Bob Shrum would be operative faces when they suddenly realize they’re the butt of a joke –priceless.

  • http://deadenders.wordpress.com deadenders

    Was it line marking chalk?

  • Chicago Joe

    Gee, look what’s passing for Senate material after BHO. The gov jokingly has referred to him as “senator” Davis a few times over the last few days.

    Good ol’ New Party member and friend of Barack, Danny Davis. http://therealbarackobama.wordpress.com/2008/10/24/new-party-candidates-danny-davis-and-barack-obama-talk-to-the-teamsters-in-chicago-in-2004/

    Yeah, the one who crowned Sun myung Moon as the Messiah.

    http://www.breakfornews.com/Moon-Crowned.htm

  • socalannie

    Excellent idea! Also, what about the Occidental, Columbia records & the records at the two hospitals Bark was supposedly born at?

  • cookiegramma

    Thanx. I had to send this on to my daughter. She is a huge football fan and will apreciate anything not against the Raiders.

  • rolling_thunder
  • Lee Ruth

    It seems that they missed Auburn, today, also. Though, Alabama became familiar with the white chalk line, to the never ending disdain of Auburn.

  • Buck O’Fama

    What we will find is that Obama is being operated via remote control from somewhere else. The key question becomes whose hand is on the joystick.

  • imustprotest

    ohh, wow, I have a great response to this comment but I think I’ll let someone else do it…… ;)

  • heather

    Larry Sinclair?

  • http://noquarterusa.net/ NoQuarter

    Listen. I have an idea. Can one of you hack into his DVR so the commercials keep looping, and he can’t watch sports! It will drive him mad. But then he’ll have to do the hacking!

  • Galt

    Silly geese the two of you. :shock:

  • http://noquarterusa.net/ NoQuarter

    That is a totally great story.

    One time I flew to somewhere in Eastern Oregon — well, there aren’t many somewheres there so you can probably guess :) :) — to see a close relative who’d had a major heart attack. And damn if I could get the doctors and nurses to talk about the condition of the relative! All they wanted to know about were the damn Mariners.

    Oh, the burden that Seattle teams carry. No, not just all of Washington state. Oregon too (for baseball and football). Alaska — oh my god, they’re loopy up there. Then there’s IDAHO! and MONTANA!!!!!! Hawaii too.

    It’s too much. No wonder the teams lose!

  • http://americanpumainitaly.blogspot.com/ sarainitaly

    hahahahaha

  • Judy L. NC

    Have him hack the al Qaeda intranet.

  • Bellevue_NW_Voter The Renter

    And don’t forget our recently-former team, the Sonics.

    Sigh.

    At least next year, we have the Sounders (major league soccer) to look forward to. Clean slate, as it were. ;-)

  • yttik

    “After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance, unknown to the players, was the goal line.”

    Bahahaha! Isn’t that the truth?

  • http://male rey christopher alima

    what fiver you can get anthrax scare. because i ded not no. what fiver you can get.

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