[Updated throughout.]

Copyright © 2008 Uppity Woman. All Rights Reserved.

mumbaiobamaIt takes preparation, you know.

I mean, preparing for Unconditional talks with savages who want to kill everybody in your country is no easy feat, ya know. You gotta get into the right mindset.

Then you just stroll on over to them and tell them it’s not nice to blow people up. You pat them on the back, careful not to touch their AK-47s, and you tell them:

“Come on guys! This is not cool! Okay?

“Besides, you are all interfering with all the American jobs we outsourced here in India. Dell customer service is going to be hurt. So cut it out, will ya?”

I’ll give you Israel if you cut this terrorism crap out and make me look good to my subjects, okay?

Just in case that doesn’t seem to work, you say,

“Be nice and I won’t send Hillary to do my job for me!”

Then of course, because you are The One, and because they have funneled millions into the back door of your campaign, knowing you are a true touch-hole who actually believes your own bullshit and takes their word as their bond, they say:

“Okay Dude! No problem! Kumbaya!”

Then everybody dances in the street while they wait for Hamas and Osama Bin Laden to arrive and apologize profusely to Jews and all Christians. Ossy promises not to kill any more infidels or even use the word “Infidel” ever again. Everyone forgives him, hugs all around, and Israel volunteers to give up their small patch of Democracy and join everybody back into the 14th century. Barack Obama’s special Election Call Center volunteers over at the Gaza Strip hear the news and cheer, along with the three brothers in the Hamas Compound who donated $30k for Barack Obama T-Shirts.

The One apologizes to India for forgetting to call them after his election, particularly since it was publicized and he is sure Al Queda read it. India promises not to act too modernized in the future so as not to insult anybody in the region. Then they all sing their special anthems and chant their special chants and watch the veil dancers. Several women volunteer to be raped 50 times in honor of their special hand-picked guests from Pakistan, Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. The Taliban performs a special ceremony whereby they shoot the women in the heads in the presence of all– for Honor. Iran invites everyone for a tour of their nuclear facility. Putin walks up to the Georgians and tells them he wants to learn Democracy and can they teach him and the other KGB people The Way? The One shoots Putin a sideways glance for that. Let’s not go TOO far.

It’s a joyous time for Civilization, which everyone agrees has been over-rated all along.

Then they all throw down their AKs in a huge pile and dance together (men with men, women with women, so as to be politically correct). Everyone invites his enemies over for some nice curried food and any silly women who have not seen The Light are gifted with lovely training burkhas.

Google removes all negative references to the meeting with The One. And they all live happily ever after.

We here in America are so grateful for his wisdom and flawless effectiveness, we declare a Barack Obama Day. No, make that Barack Obama Week. Oh hell, let’s just go for the whole month!

Nobody works during that month either, which is okay since the Government is going to take care of everybody anyhow. We hold a parade every day and nobody gets in any arguments during any of the parades. The American Communist, Socialist and Marxist/Leninist parties each have a float in the parades, with gratitude for their revival from the grave. Everybody holds up DOWN WITH CAPITALISM signs and everyone cheers for the Glorious Cause. Bill Ayers is the guest speaker at the rally after the parade, and Bernardine Dohrn tosses flowers from a basket to all the subjects. Those who cannot attend, such as annoying old people and pesky disabled people who are a drain on society, can view the parades on every channel on their television sets.

After the parade, we all go over to the White House lawn and party. You will need a ticket though. You can get those at President Obama’s web site. There is preferential treatment for Golden Ticket Buyers at $1000–just like at the convention. You get first nibs at the baby back ribs and you may even be allowed to stand in the same air space as The President. Everybody else gets the injured chicken parts, which is good because by this point, nobody can afford chicken either, except the government. Cheap tickets also get a glimpse of Michelle in her latest Target-Inspired fashion. Ludicrous and other lesser rappers perform their best Camelot-Inspired Kill The Bitch music in the background and everybody bounces in tandem to the hip hop while they feast. JFK, Jackie and Pablo Casals would be so proud. Futher back, the Obama family enjoys the steak and lobster while snickering quietly at the subjects and how easy it is to placate them.

Government chickens are GOOD chickens. If you are good, the government will give you a whole chicken of your own! But I digress.

I can do that, it’s my blog.

** Art by our own Freedom Fairy, of course.

  • Wisewoman

    Great job Uppity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • IndyLindy

    This article is utterly priceless (the art, too), and gave me such a good laugh, I cried. Thank you.

  • Robo

    Any day now that Whitey Tape is going to surface, I just know it!

    Actually it’s being kept in Al Capone’s vault with Obama’s Iranian birth certificate!

    • WildChild

      yup, we don’t think BOBO’s birth certificate is ever going to surface either.

    • Strawberrybitch

      Gawd. Are you back? Did you get tired of playing “Pull My Finger” with your brother? Give it rest or get a date, will ya?

  • Milly

    Good observation and intelligent post Uppity, love your writings!
    To: Mr President elect, former Sen Obama, better be careful with those “chefs”, the terrorist with
    the angry face,
    (;-) guess what position while in training?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

    They say it was an inside job? When not? Bogus

    http://www.india.com/news/india/shocker_one_terrorist_was_a_chef_taj_1599

    In a shocking revelation on late Friday night, it has been reported that one of the terrorists holed up in hotel Taj Mahal was doing his internship there as Trainee Chef for past 10 months.

    The revelation came after the family of one of the Trainee Chef who was killed inside the hotel came out to reveal that the deceased called them before dying and said that he has been shot by his friends.

    This disclosure has made it clear that there were more terrorists in the hotel than suspected. This revelation has also made it clear that the planning of this attack was going on for at least a year and the terrorists had everything in place to carry off this attack.

    It is also suspected that this terrorist might have amassed arms and ammunition in the hotel prior to the attack, which prolonged the battle. He is also suspected to have helped in planning the attacks as he had access to all parts of the hotel and knew the location inside out.

    A minister had anonymously revealed on Thursday that the terrorists had set up ‘control rooms’ inside the hotel from where they launched the attack.

    After this revelation, another possibility has arisen that there may be more than one terrorists working in various hotels that have been attacked and might be present at some other places also. This has increased the pressure on security forces as well because now it is difficult to ascertain the number of terrorists killed in the operations and those who are roaming free.

    Now, security forces will have toil really hard to nab other terrorists if any of them is still at large.

  • Kal

    Uppity, this one really really cuts to the core.

    Excellent, outstanding.

    PUMA!!

  • EWard

    Susan

    Go back to your dungeon! BO’s press conferences and generic press statements are insulting to this country. He cannot speak coherently about foreign policy without a teleprompter or script. Senator Clinton’s response was more Presidential than Cupcake’s.

  • sayitisntso

    great post!

  • RebelCarol

    Bill Ayers is the guest speaker at the rally after the parade, and Bernardine Dohrn tosses flowers from a basket to all the subjects.

    Rev. Wright gives the Invocation and Father Pfliger blesses the masses.

  • Ted

    On Dec 5 the Supreme Court will either allow or disallow the usurpation of both the Constitution and the Government of the United States — easily the most pivotal decision since our nation’s founding — and the silence of the news media is deafening (if not downright scary).

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqH7rSHcvgU

  • Susan

    Didn’t take you guys long to channel your hatred for Obama through the Mumbai attacks. Very pathetic.

    Just like when Larry published a piece about how he thought Obama was faking that his grandmother was ill for supposive political reasons.

    Class act!!

    • Anon

      Well, he sure didn’t rush off to her memorial service a week later when she died.

      • Hank

        As if Obama not flying back to Hawaii the day before the presidential election–the day she died–justifies Larry accusing Obama of faking his grandmother’s illness. He has never apologized for that sickening piece of work.

        • imustprotest

          Gee….when was her funeral again bot?? Has there been a memorial? Why didn’t his children and wife go??

          • Smitty

            Gee….when was her funeral again bot?? Has there been a memorial?

            Sigh. Another conspiracy theory that defies reality.

            The memorial service was Nov. 14.

            http://www.starbulletin.com/news/hawaiinews/20081113_Dunham_service_set_for_tomorrow.html

            • beebop

              How did we miss the press corp in attendance? So he didn’t attend because ????

              • Smitty

                How did we miss the press corp in attendance?

                Do you still believe there wasn’t any memorial service? I can’t begin to help you with that kind of problem.

                So he didn’t attend because ????

                …because he’s going soon.

                http://www.honoluluadvertiser.com/article/20081106/BREAKING01/81106038

                Really, try reading the news.

                I know you aren’t interested in any facts that don’t fit your prejudices, but here’s some reality for you: my sister flew across the country to see my dad as he was dying, then went home. She didn’t go to the funeral. Nevertheless, she really had a father, he really did die, there really was a funeral, and she really did love him.

                If you can’t begin to imagine any explanations for what goes on in life other than ones that validate your emotions, life is always going to be pretty frustrating.

    • KintheNorthwest

      Strange that its been almost a month and there was only one small article about a possible memorial service later in the year.
      With all the Obama fill in the blanks that he will not answer, I do question what happened. I still wondering why there was not a small funeral for his grandmother.
      If this was the person who so lovingly raised and sacrificed to me I would have made sure there was a small funeral for at least some of her friends, past co-workers and family.

      • beebop

        Oh. But a touching five minutes on a Barbara Walters special that she got to vote for her grandson. The man makes me so incredibly sick. There is no one and nothing that he is unwilling to use for his own purposes. No one. Not one thing. As we have seen.

        • Smitty

          Try reading the news. The memorial service was more than two weeks ago.

          http://www.starbulletin.com/news/hawaiinews/20081113_Dunham_service_set_for_tomorrow.html

          • beebop
            • Smitty

              Tell us what it is about the death of Mrs. Dunham that the press is covering up.

              Did Obama never actually have a grandmother?

              Did he have one, but fake her death?

              Does the lack of a public display of mourning prove something sinister about Obama?

              Tell us. What have you got in your head about this issue that keeps you so worked up about it?

              Spit it out.

              • beebop

                Did you have a grandmother who died? Did you skip her funeral? Do you have a private jet at your disposal 247? Do you get it now? There there, little Bot. The paranoia is yours. My only point is why would the guy who took time from the campaign trail to make a trip to see her before her death not honor her after it? Just a question. Don’t get your pink panties in a twist.

  • Texas Playwright

    Well done, Uppity Woman! Satire is an art, a higher form of comedy. All comedy is based in truth. Maybe that’s why a lot of rabid followers of BHO don’t get the humor.

  • patm

    Everyone needs to read this article and see what is going on behind our backs!
    http://countusout.wordpress.com/2008/11/28/obama-covertly-working-to-amend-the-natural-born-citizen-requirement/

    • imustprotest

      Wow! That’s all I can say.

      • Smitty

        mustyprotest,

        This cockamamie conspiracy theory originated on a forum called “Patriot Brigade,” a fanzine for hard-core conspiracy wackos and militia types.

        http://www.patriotbrigaderadio.com/barracks/index.php?topic=250.0

        Read the original thread, musty. These are people who are hoping for the day when they can overthrow the government and lynch anybody who favors constitutional amendments. That’s what people are actually saying on that forum.

        It appears that if they had the chance, these “patriot” goofballs would have snuffed Jefferson, Madison, Adams, and every other “traitor” who supported things like freedom of speech and religion, the right to bear arms, the abolition of slavery, the right for women to vote, and everything else we owe to amendments to the Constitution.

        These “patriots” are too stupid to understand how stupid they are. A law student wrote a paper in favor of allowing naturalized citizens to run for president. She later went to work for a gigantic law firm where one of the hundreds of lawyers was a fundraiser for Obama. And these facts are supposed to prove that Obama is not a natural-born citizen. Problem 1 with this conspiracy theory is that not even Obama says he became a citizen through naturalization. But these “patriot” cretins can’t process that complicated a thought.

        And you read this tripe and scream, “Wow!”

        As Bugs Bunny would say, “What a maroon!”

        • beebop

          Why did 0bama release a doctored COLB for publication on the internet?

          Not holding my breath waiting for your spin.

          • Smitty

            That’s a quite a non-sequitur. Before you change the subject to the phony-birth-certificate conspiracy, why don’t you weigh in on the constitutional-amendment conspiracy we’re already discussing?

            • beebop

              There wouldn’t be any whacky theories if he’d just show his birth certificate, get it, asshole?

              • Lisa

                Why does he have to show his birth certificate? To make wackjobs like you happy. The guy has got more things to worry about then you conspiracy freaks.

    • Smitty

      This is tinfoil hattery.

      The article in question is about a paper that advocated amending the Constitution to allow naturalized citizens (such as Arnold Schwarzenegger) to run for president. It was published over two years ago the in university law review of the school the author graduated from in 2005. She wrote it as a student…before she graduated and long before she went to work for her current employer.

      http://lawreview.kentlaw.edu/Contents_81-1.htm

      The Freeper who is spinning this looked at the other lawyers at the author’s Chicago firm and found two who were involved with Obama’s campaign. There are literally hundreds of lawyers listed on this firm’s web site. The young woman who authored the paper is not a partner, but one of hundreds of associates…and a very junior one at that.

      The Freeper leapt to these conclusions:

      1) the young woman who authored the paper (in 2005 or earlier, mind you) is a “friend” of Obama;

      2) she and the other two lawyers are “working hard to amend the Constitution”;

      3) 1 & 2 prove Obama is not a natural born citizen.

      These are wholely unsupported conjectures, and don’t even make sense. The Constitution is not amended by the act of a student writing a paper.

      Anyone who is impressed by this nonsense is a moron.

      • KintheNorthwest

        Well I have always felt that if Obama is not a native born American then he probably already has a ton of lawyers and legal briefs that could tie up the courts for years before he would be impeached or called ineligible.

        • Hank

          I’m sure there are all kinds of things you’ve “always felt” that rationalize your hatred towards our President-elect. And then there is reality, standing across the street, staring you in the face.

          • imustprotest

            you sound like the “hater” to me “Hank”. There is a quite a lot of evidence to suggest that Barry Soretoro aka Barack Obama is not a natural born citizen of the USA….which is probably why you’re here trying to discount it.

            • AOK

              There’s no hard evidence to suggest anything. Just some crap made up by some tinfoil hat wearing blogger.

              • WildChild

                The evidense is BOBO himself. Being a natural born citizen is a requirement for the job he wants. Its our right to ask for his papers. BOBO has been remarkably deceptive about them… for a man with nothing to hide.

        • Smitty

          Well I have always felt that if Obama is not a native born American then he probably already has a ton of lawyers and legal briefs that could tie up the courts for years before he would be impeached or called ineligible.

          And I have always felt that if Jimmy Hoffa is still alive and performing on Dancing With The Stars, then he probably has already had so much plastic surgery that no one will figure out the deception until after he wins.

      • Hank

        Excellent background work, thank you Smitty.

      • beebop

        Using the word “Freeper” hardly makes any points here for you, botboy.

        • Smitty

          Take it up with management.

          By dcmediagirl on August 26, 2008 at 1:37 PM in Current Affairs

          I got into a brawl with Michelle Malkin that got so heated that the Freepers joined in

          • beebop

            Yeah. I’m sure she originated it. And I was talking about this thread, but hey, you’re a bot, so I expected the duck and no answer answer from you.

            • Ferd Berfle

              Methinks the Village Smitty has been at his forge too long.

              • beebop

                Maybe he’s been hammering at the wrong thing? 🙂 giggle hahahahaha

                • Ferd Berfle

                  LMAO. The visual is too funny.

    • Hank

      so much stupidity, so little time…

      • imustprotest

        aw ….Hankie, you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself…you’re not THAT stupid.

        • beebop

          hahahahahaha

  • Margaret

    What a fabulous post!! I don’t which is funnier, the reference to “Ossy” (our new pal) or “Kill the Bitch” music. Can’t stop laughing… did enjoy google removing all negative references too.

    But couldn’t we, pretty please, instead of having Barack Obama month, have Barack Obama year?

    And I just bought a house, can you ask him when he’s going to pay my mortgage?

  • jbjd

    On RCP (the site that blocked me after my reader’s article about how one might successfully sue BO in federal court hit 30 votes in 2 hours):

    Obama’s Statement on the Mumbai Terror Attacks
    Barack Obama

    Below is a statement by President-elect Barack Obama:

    “Michelle and I send our deepest condolences to the loved ones of the American citizens who lost their lives in the outrageous terrorist attacks in Mumbai. Our thoughts and prayers are with them, and with all who have been touched by this terrible tragedy.

    “These terrorists who targeted innocent civilians will not defeat India’s great democracy, nor shake the will of a global coalition to defeat them. The United States must stand with India and all nations and people who are committed to destroying terrorist networks, and defeating their hate-filled ideology.

    “There is one president at a time. I will continue to closely monitor the situation on the ground in Mumbai, and am grateful for the cooperation of the Bush Administration in keeping me and my staff updated. We fully support the Bush Administration’s efforts to protect American citizens and assist the government of India during this tragic time,” said President-elect Obama.
    Barack Obama is the President-elect of the United States of America.

    http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2008/11/obamas_statement_on_the_mumbai.html

  • Hank

    Wow, it didn’t take long for NQ to get Obama back into a turban!

    • imustprotest

      hey, if the turban fits…….

      • Ferd Berfle

        LMAO. And it does, too.

    • What’s a snake charmer supposed to wear? A baseball cap?

      • Hank

        I’m just sayin’, you got the President-Elect back in NQ’s favorite costume for him. Nice work.

      • Justme

        LOL Uppity

  • justsome

    Hey I was still doing spell check etc when this went up…how’d that happen?

  • justsome

    Yeah, both GWB’s & Obama’s statements were similiar, both done in the usual diplomatic fashion. Although Obama’s actually emphasized India’s democracy & said it was strong & would prevail over terrorism. HRC is calling the thugs radical extremists (the term preferred by the terrorists) & by emphasizing & personalizing the murders at the Chabad Lubavitch house above all the other atrocities runs the risk of inciting further hostilities towards Jews. That’s my 2 cents since you all are just picking things to shreads. Call it diplomatically uncool if you like, but remember Obama actually has come right out & said if he has actionable intel on UBL in Pakistan he’d hit him. That’s a long way from coddeling the thug element

    • Here’a a hopey dopey Obot troll coming in to defend his messiah.

      Obots lack the sense of humor gene.

    • csuzeq

      Yes, the world has gotten a little dull. Obama, why don’t you just go hit Pakistan. Go get someone. It fits right in with all your drama and makes you look so cool.

      Obama will have more wars at one time than any other POTUS ever because he lives in a fantasyland.

      I kind of think that the Mombai attacks are a distraction (as Odrama would say) for what is soon to come somewhere. Maybe, coming to a town near you…

    • RebelCarol

      Yeah, both GWB’s & Obama’s statements were similiar, both done in the usual diplomatic fashion. Although Obama’s actually emphasized India’s democracy & said it was strong & would prevail over terrorism.

      Who cares what Obama’s statement was. He is not the President. He really is a nobody until Jan. 20th and should just keep his big mouth shut until that day. I am getting so sick of opening up the daily newspaper and seeing a picture of BO with some profound statement being quoted every day. Or seeing him on TV with some daily press conference. I don’t remember past president elects given so much as a Howdy Do.

      • Some of the pundits are saying the inauguration should be moved up because Bush can do alot of damage in 2 months. I kid you not. The after party on CNN today was talking about it with your host Donna Bitchville. I am no longer shocked when they actually say things I have made jokes about for months.

        And Obama is gonna change it how exactly????

        WTF happened here? I went to sleep one night and all was well, with dreams of sugar plums and Hillary probably gonna be the next POTUS. Next thing ya know I wake up and most Americans brains have turned to mush and we have some weirdo guy of mixed race, claiming he’s black and he is an empty box and he threw around a little cash and boom-he’s POTUS!

        If I go back into a deep sleep, will I please wake up and find out it was a horrible nightmare and go back to when the world seemes a little more sane?

        I’m going back to bed. Wake me when it’s over.

        • Well gee — you have the most POWERFUL dreams.

          Please go back to sleep — and please dream this away.

          Pretty please.

  • The Robot

    Brilliant, Uppity Woman!

  • What have we done? Good question, though we should be asking: What has been done to us?

    600,000,000 dollars, the cost of Democracy.

    Hillary is my president, and that thought will hold as she shows on the national and international stage what it truly means to be a leader.

    Obama, no way.

    • Hank

      “Hillary is my president, and that thought will hold as she shows on the national and international stage what it truly means to be a leader.”
      ____________________________________________________

      But Hillary isn’t President. Do you really want to live in self-created fantasy for the next 4 to 8 years?

      • beebop

        Do you really want to live in self-created fantasy for the next 4 to 8 years?

        Geeeeee hankers …. isn’t that what got 0bama elected?

  • glennmcgahee

    Its completely understandable if you realize that just seeing a black man as President of The United States means that Peace throughout the world will follow. Everybody no longer has to worry about paying mortgages or putting gas in their car and the Jews, Hindus and Muslims will all gather around The Christmas Tree and sing Santa Claus is Coming To Town.

    • oowawa

      We will all not truly come together as One World until we can gather around the Barackmas tree and sing “Oh Come Let Us Adore Him.”

    • The Robot

      One World, One People, One Obama! – pass the hopium.

  • pm317

    Uppity, only you can do this. There is too much truth rearing its ugly and inconvenient head in satire.

  • Lizzy

    Since the Indian commandos were so efficient in eliminating the terrorests Obama could negotiate via seance; he could get guidance from Nancy Reagan.

  • dumbama

    Is that pink panties or his inflated ego crowning the holy one?

  • mike

    http://www.poorrichardsalmanac.biz
    ITS ON!
    CHICAGO TRIBUNE FULL PAGE AD!
    MR. OBAMA:
    “SHOW US THE PROOF!”

    • AOK

      If I were Obama, I’d ignore these morons asking these questions as well. Until these same people run full page ads asking all other presidential candidates or anyone running for or holding public office to verify their citizenship as well. This is ridiculous and an insult to the American electorate. These jerks and the people who support them are basically insulting the intelligence of 66 + million people who voted in the GE along with the 17 + million in the democratic primary for Obama. It’s too bad that these people let hate and ignorance cloud their judgment.

      • imustprotest

        hahahahahahahahahah….take a breath….hahahahahaha….oh….you were serious???? hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

        • AOK

          No, I’m serious. Have you seen any of the other POTUS and VPOTUS candidates birth certificates? Palin’s? McCain’s? Bidens’s? Hell, have you even seen Hillary’s or Bill’s or Dubya’s? Have you? I’ve seen Obama’s many times. You know, the one that you morons think is fake, even though it was authenticated by Hawaiian official’s last month?

          • WildChild

            Bush officials authenticated torture and illegal wiretapping as legal means of getting information. And they were afraid of the light too…. just like BOBO.

      • Hank

        I couldn’t agree more. Thank you for the dose of common sense. It’s pathetic that this birth certificate crap is even considered here.

        • imustprotest

          hmmm…..so you’re not denying he has a b/c problem are you??? LOL

          • AOK

            He doesn’t. It’s intolerant, biased people such as yourself who thinks he does.

            • WildChild

              BOBO man can’t be too bright if he left that issue to fester. Or he’s got something to hide.

      • I have never in my not so short life NOT known where a presidential candidate was born, or where his immediate family was. This is the FIRST time I have EVER seen this problem. There was a family history beyong a partially fictional book. There were friends who knew these people for years. Their school records were accessible. It was all a matter of public record. Till now. What’s the big production? Produce the correct document, and not to factcheck.org. There isn’t a person on this board who can’t get the correct document. What makes a president any different? It all seems so silly to me. All the guy had to do was what every other person can do, release records. The whole thing falls into the suspicious category when a person locks up his records. In the REAL world, you would NEVER get clearance.

  • good job as always uppity.i laughed.till i cried…

  • Strawberrybitch

    Uppity, just what was the Mimbo’s official non official statement? How about compare and contrast both Hillary’s statement and El Barfo’s? Maybe throw in Bush’s for a laugh…dimes to dollars Bush and barky’s will be indistinguishable from each other.

    • beebop

      uh … um .. uh we uh uh uh …. only uh have uh um uh one president at a um uh time so uh um uh in uh deference to uh um him I uh took his um uh statement for uh uh uh security purposes and um uh um tried to um uh make it uh look hopier. 🙂

      • Ferd Berfle

        ROFL. That was a decent translation. Where di you learn Oblahblahspeak?

      • Strawberrybitch

        Sooooooo was that Barky’s or Chimpy’s? I told you it would be indistinguishable.

      • KintheNorthwest

        I still cant figure this guy out….
        He can’t even give a simple Thanksgiving greeting without 4 or 5 uh’s um’s between every word.

  • JULIE

    God, this man makes me sooooo sick!!

  • Miss H

    The only part you got wrong is the women celebrating in the streets; remember women are stupid (just remember what they said about Hillary and Sarah on “the TV”) and can’t compete with men in science and math (courtesy of Mr. Summers). Besides women won’t be allowed to drive or leave the house. Everyone knows they are only good for house work, child rearing, and sex whenever the chosen husband deems appropriate.

    • That must be why we women don’t understand that there are 57 states.

    • Hank

      Sarah is stupid. Hillary is not.

      • No Hank is the dumbest of the Obots.

        Have YOU done anything comparable to what Sarah has done with her life — no you haven’t.

        You may have a penis — but Sarah has BRAINS.

    • I hope this isn’t considered off topic, Miss H, but my husband and I have ran a business together for over two decades. When negotiating with banks, customers, even car dealerships, the men AND women will invariably turn to my husband to answer a question I have asked. My husband will tell them to talk to me because he doesn’t take care of that stuff but they will still turn to him. So we have worked out a code so that I can get the business done. I turn to him and say “I’m sorry, didn’t you have to call someone?” and he says “Oh yes, thank you.” Cue him leaving. Then I turn back to whomever as they now have to deal with me. It never ceases to amaze us that people are so sexists and rude…..but in the end, we always make the deal so who’s stupid now 🙂

  • Kool-Aid Man

    Then of course, because you are The One, and because they have funneled millions into the back door of your campaign

    Do you have any actual proof of the Muhajadin funneling money into his campaign? Or is this another conspiracy for which NQ has become famous? I’m so drunk on kool-aid I cannot tell.

    • benny

      for once, you’re right. too drunk. lol

    • As a matter of fact, there is plenty of information about money being funneled from the middle east. Not to mention the elimination of checks against fictitious donor names using the same credit cards. Do your own goddamned homework.

      In the meantime, it generally takes an MA over CA times 100 of three digits to appreciate satire. So either get the stick out of your ass and sue for that humor bypass your doctor gave you or work on those three digits, pest.

      • TeakWoodKite

        Very Funny!

        I will never understand why the information can be right in front of posters like “Kool-Aid Man” et al Kevin (in honor of WildChild’s sharpshooting skills) and they don’t get it. It means that the whole context of BO is so myopic and stunted in Kool-Aid Man’s view.

        I mean, I am dyslexic and at times I drop words in a sentence and even when I proof it, I miss it. Sure it pisses me off but I deal with my issues as best as I can, these BOygns ? Naw!

        You don’t suppose Kool-Aid Man would take the time to look into it and come back with something? ’cause they can’t.

        Great stuff, Uppity Woman.

      • Who photoshopped that pic — I LOVE the Obamanation seal on the Cobra’s basket. There is so much realism in that pic.

        The best humor has fragments of truth — and in this case fragments of the hopey dopey kool aid crowds delusions of their perfect world, with their perfect messiah who can go around the globe giving speeches and can also cure the sick and make birds reappear in the trees.

        Oh my — you know Uppity you have just convinced me to take a small sip of that kool-aid.

        But wait — women aren’t allowed?? What is that I see? You mean that messiah is for guys with that “experience” appendage — called a penis.

        For this hopey dopey change to happen and for the messiah to teach the world to sing — women need to cover up and not be seen in public. That’s all — well that isn’t too much to ask. That’s not too much of a sacrifice.

        The thing is — men need women a lot more then we need men. Mental health — married men are mentally healthier than married women. Single women are the healthiest.

        • imustprotest

          But wait — women aren’t allowed?? What is that I see? You mean that messiah is for guys with that “experience” appendage — called a penis

          hmmm…I always the the “P” in POTUS stood for President….but now I’m thinking it may mean something else….

      • MBC

        Whoohoo Uppity, you go!

    • Ferd Berfle

      Is that you, UBM?

      • Wrong as always, Ferd. Do I haunt your dreams or something? What is it with you?

        • beebop

          It just sounded sufficiently paranoid and irrelevant.

        • TeakWoodKite

          Hey UBM, did ya have a nice TG? Best to you and yours.

        • Ferd Berfle

          If you had one fewer brain cell, UBM, you would no longer have a pair.

  • SJ

    No no guys you all just don’t get it, we can only have one President at a time and at the moment Bush is still it.

    Give Obama a chance he is still on vacation in Jan 09 when be becomes President he will deal with that Mumbai issue, just tell the terrorist to hold on don’t attack anyone or any other place until Jan

  • bemused

    No need to let up on the idiocy of hopey changey, Uppity. Although we may need to take care in the future.
    OT but this picture has something in it so bizarre, and it’s the skin–the darker parts belong to someone who is technically of the “white” race. There must be some great lesson of irony there.

  • lorac

    Speaking of That One and the government bailing everyone out, Mark Fiore’s new cartoon is good, it’s called “The Clapper”, you can clap back and forth between capitalism and socialism.

    http://www.markfiore.com/

    I thought he was great during the primaries, but during the general he was ridiculing McCain. I’m waiting to see if he is going to hold O’s feet to the fire.

    • Very funny!

    • beebop

      You don’t know whether to giggle or weep. But it is very well done.

    • RebelCarol

      I thought he was great during the primaries,

      Just what was so great about him during the primaries? He bashed Hillary even worse in the primaries than he did to McCain in the general.

  • Pingback: President-Elect Obama prepares for unconditional talks with Mumbai … at Hillary Clinton On Best Political Blogs()

  • TeakWoodKite

    Hey, did ya know that one of those Dell rep said that in order for me to get service for my XPS 1730, I had to get BO to “bail out” Dell, by moving more jobs to India then and only then would my hard drive finally would be free.

    Ya know since he will be paying all my bills and my house payment…

    • beebop

      Sears called me today to confirm the delivery of my new dishwasher. I swear they have moved their call center as well.

    • Judy L. NC

      Teak, did they say when your pony would be delivered?

  • benny

    on the other hand, your article is hilarious, Uppity Woman. I need to take a printout. 🙂

  • benny

    If Obie tries to talk to the terrorists that attacked Mumbai, India will tear him a new one. Make no mistake, all this hopey-changey delusion is just that, delusion.

    • STATEMENT OF SENATOR HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON ON THE TERRORIST ATTACKS IN MUMBAI, INDIA

      “My thoughts and prayers are with the victims and families touched by these acts of terror in Mumbai. We still do not know the full measure of this tragedy, which has taken the lives of Indian citizens, Americans, and others who had traveled to Mumbai from around the world. Two New Yorkers, Rabbi Gavriel Holtzberg and Rivka Holtzberg of Brooklyn are among those who have died, leaving behind their young son. The young couple had traveled from Brooklyn to manage a small Chabad house, welcoming Jews from India and elsewhere to learn, pray, and serve the community.

      There could be no sharper a reminder, nor a more poignant call to action, than the brutal and heinous violence visited upon the Nariman House and the Holtzberg family, living and working in Mumbai on a mission of peace, scholarship, and spiritual guidance.

      As those responsible are brought to justice, as we aid and support the victims and their families, as we work to defeat radical extremism and the terror it spawns, let us find strength in knowing that in the face of those who seek to take lives, there are those who seek to give hope and comfort. In the face of those who wish only to destroy, there are individuals like Rabbi Gavriel Holtzberg and Rivka Holtzberg who travel great distances far from their homes to build a better world.”
      http://thepage.time.com/clinton-statement-on-india-attacks/
      …………….

      • benny

        She is amazing. For me, she is the real president. Now compare her statement with those released by the president-elect. God, what have we done? We should have had her as our president. Her intensity of understanding is phenomenal. Reminds me of WJC. Real true leadership, and no bullshit.

        • csuzeq

          It makes me sick when I stop to think about the outcome of this election. I want to whack Obama supporters in the head! What is starting to happen is that they are realizing that it’s not a game and I want to whack them in the head and they are also starting to agree they should be whacked in the head!

        • AOK

          It’s too bad that she’s not. Get over it.

          • Strawberrybitch

            People are going to die because Barky is president and she is not. Get used to it. Their souls are on your conscience.

      • Sounds like something a President Elect should be saying…

        Just sayin’.

        • imustprotest

          A real President Elect would say something like this….a person in the Office of the President Select is too busy vacationing or working out at the gym and has a “spokesperson” rattle off a generic response.

        • SJ

          So exactly what did the President Elect have to say I must of missed it

          • imustprotest

            Obama Transition chief national security spokesperson Brooke Anderson condemned the terrorist attacks in Mumbai, India, on behalf of the president-elect, saying:

            President-Elect Obama strongly condemns today’s terrorist attacks in Mumbai, and his thoughts and prayers are with the victims, their families, and the people of India. These coordinated attacks on innocent civilians demonstrate the grave and urgent threat of terrorism. The United States must continue to strengthen our partnerships with India and nations around the world to root out and destroy terrorist networks. We stand with the people of India, whose democracy will prove far more resilient than the hateful ideology that led to these attacks.

      • RedWhiteAndBlue

        Hillary the great stateswoman already. A statesman Barry could never be himself.

    • nancysabet

      Hopyom, changy wants to meet with his fellow muslims?? to take peace, oky duky!! A real joke, that is bo… excellent photo shop of him my friend, thanks for the piece too, well done!

    • nancysabet

      Hopyom, changy wants to meet with his fellow muslims?? to talk peace, oky duky!! A real joke, that is bo… excellent photo shop of him my friend, thanks for the piece too, well done!

    • Carol

      Obama is nothing but a shameless F*cker!