I finally watched the Oscar winner, Twelve Years a Slave–what a gawd awful movie. How this piece of crap won the Oscar for Best Picture is beyond me. Just the act of watching it is tedious. Hell, it feels like twelve years passes while the film unspools even though the actual running time is a little over two hours.

The members of the Academy who voted for this swill apparently embraced pandering to slave porn rather than reward movies that were well written and damn entertaining.

Nigger, nigger, nigger. The movie relishes using that tired epithet. My rule of thumb for a great movie is very simple–is it something that enthralls you and ignites your soul. That ain’t this movie.

Seriously, have any of you seen this waste of 136 minutes?

Film critic, Cole Smith, has it right:

Which brings us to “12 Years a Slave.” More slave porn than the thematically layered work it pretends to be, “12 Years” is a marvel in how it manages to omit the narrative’s most important parts. Here is a negative-relief of a movie in which the story’s most obviously significant aspects are left blank in favor of such tripe as gruesome back-whipping scenes, analogous to those in Mel Gibson’s “The Passion of the Christ.”

This is a movie for Confederate-flag wavers to get their jollies. Nothing more. It’s 1841. Chiwetel Ejiofor plays Solomon Northup, an African-American “free man” who lives in New York. He is possessed of a superior intellect and a musical gift for the violin. There’s just one department where Solomon Northup comes up short — in the area of common sense. While walking in a public park dressed in fine clothes, two men approach Solomon with a proposal to take him on the road as part of a travelling circus, where Solomon’s violin-playing will be prominently featured — much to his financial benefit. Cue the sad trombone. These are clearly conmen. As is McQueen. After the buildup, it’s demeaning to the film that the weeks during which Solomon allegedly performs music to the delight of paying audience members is not included.

Rather than develop the subplot upon which the story is based, the film jumps to a scene in which Solomon is drugged and kidnapped in Washington D.C. Cut to the suddenly demoted black citizen being whipped for several minutes by his callous captors. Oh the brutality. “Didja looka looka lookit alla blood?”

Unlike Schindler’s List, an epic film that brought to life the horror of the Holocaust, this “work” utterly fails in trying to portray the sin of slavery. The script is a pathetic joke. John Ridley won as Oscar for Best Adapted Screen Play. Sorry John, but you got a prize for white guilt.

Nothing like watching liberals praise as genius a movie that is not smart, not clever and not inspired. I thought that this movie would tell the story of a free man stolen into slavery and fighting to regain his liberty. Nope. Chiwetel Ejiofor as Solomon Northup is a total zero. An occasional wide-eyed look at the camera. You get no sense of the man and no appreciation that he cared about anything. He’s just a convenient whipping boy who spends twelve years picking cotton and is transformed in no discernible way.

If you have to spend money to watch this movie, save your cash. It is awful.

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Larry C. Johnson is a former analyst at the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency, who moved subsequently in 1989 to the U.S. Department of State, where he served four years as the deputy director for transportation security, antiterrorism assistance training, and special operations in the State Department's Office of Counterterrorism. He left government service in October 1993 and set up a consulting business. He currently is the co-owner and CEO of BERG Associates, LLC (Business Exposure Reduction Group) and is an expert in the fields of terrorism, aviation security, and crisis and risk management, and money laundering investigations. Johnson is the founder and main author of No Quarter, a weblog that addresses issues of terrorism and intelligence and politics. NoQuarterUSA was nominated as Best Political Blog of 2008.