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Twelve Years a Slave

I finally watched the Oscar winner, Twelve Years a Slave–what a gawd awful movie. How this piece of crap won the Oscar for Best Picture is beyond me. Just the act of watching it is tedious. Hell, it feels like twelve years passes while the film unspools even though the actual running time is a little over two hours.

The members of the Academy who voted for this swill apparently embraced pandering to slave porn rather than reward movies that were well written and damn entertaining.

Nigger, nigger, nigger. The movie relishes using that tired epithet. My rule of thumb for a great movie is very simple–is it something that enthralls you and ignites your soul. That ain’t this movie.

Seriously, have any of you seen this waste of 136 minutes?

Film critic, Cole Smith, has it right:

Which brings us to “12 Years a Slave.” More slave porn than the thematically layered work it pretends to be, “12 Years” is a marvel in how it manages to omit the narrative’s most important parts. Here is a negative-relief of a movie in which the story’s most obviously significant aspects are left blank in favor of such tripe as gruesome back-whipping scenes, analogous to those in Mel Gibson’s “The Passion of the Christ.”

This is a movie for Confederate-flag wavers to get their jollies. Nothing more. It’s 1841. Chiwetel Ejiofor plays Solomon Northup, an African-American “free man” who lives in New York. He is possessed of a superior intellect and a musical gift for the violin. There’s just one department where Solomon Northup comes up short — in the area of common sense. While walking in a public park dressed in fine clothes, two men approach Solomon with a proposal to take him on the road as part of a travelling circus, where Solomon’s violin-playing will be prominently featured — much to his financial benefit. Cue the sad trombone. These are clearly conmen. As is McQueen. After the buildup, it’s demeaning to the film that the weeks during which Solomon allegedly performs music to the delight of paying audience members is not included.

Rather than develop the subplot upon which the story is based, the film jumps to a scene in which Solomon is drugged and kidnapped in Washington D.C. Cut to the suddenly demoted black citizen being whipped for several minutes by his callous captors. Oh the brutality. “Didja looka looka lookit alla blood?”

Unlike Schindler’s List, an epic film that brought to life the horror of the Holocaust, this “work” utterly fails in trying to portray the sin of slavery. The script is a pathetic joke. John Ridley won as Oscar for Best Adapted Screen Play. Sorry John, but you got a prize for white guilt.

Nothing like watching liberals praise as genius a movie that is not smart, not clever and not inspired. I thought that this movie would tell the story of a free man stolen into slavery and fighting to regain his liberty. Nope. Chiwetel Ejiofor as Solomon Northup is a total zero. An occasional wide-eyed look at the camera. You get no sense of the man and no appreciation that he cared about anything. He’s just a convenient whipping boy who spends twelve years picking cotton and is transformed in no discernible way.

If you have to spend money to watch this movie, save your cash. It is awful.

  • BannedAgain15

    “…not smart, not clever and not inspired.”

    So the movie was not Hollywood enough for you…? no explosions…? no big happy inspiring ending.. etc.

    The movie has one of the highest Rotten Tomato ratings… (96% critics and 92% audience). That is a lot of “white guilt”. The only one make the quality of the movie a race thing is you Larry Johnson.

    Larry Johnson the movie critic has about as much credibility as Larry Johnson the foreign policy and economics commentator.

  • Lemuel Vargas

    To me, this film is a film just to assuage white guilt, nothing more/

  • HELENK2

    http://weaselzippers.us/178401-feds-say-another-four-former-gitmo-detainees-returned-to-the-battlefield/

    former gitmo detainees return to battlefield.
    so tell me again why we paid for their Caribbean vacation stay?

  • HELENK2

    http://legalinsurrection.com/2014/03/branco-cartoon-running-interference/

    cartoon describing yesterday’s lerner hearing

  • HELENK2

    http://dailycaller.com/2014/03/05/putin-nominated-for-nobel-peace-prize-among-record-number-of-candidates/

    Putin nominated for Nobel Peace Prize.

    backtrack will be so pissy if he wins

  • HELENK2

    live updates on Crimea from a German newspaper

    http://www.dw.de/live-updates-of-the-crisis-in-crimea/a-17480051

  • HARP2

    Obama said the new U.S. sanctions were a display of “international unity.”

    ——————————————————————————

    And so Obama is off and running early to try for back to back wins on the “lie of the year” award..

    Can he do it folks ?
    It’s never been done before but in a pre-lie interview, Obama said he has been practicing and is up for the challenge.

  • HELENK2

    http://www.nationalreview.com/article/372554/new-world-disorder-jim-geraghty

    this was stolen from the crawdad hole

    new world disorder.
    choice

  • HELENK2
  • HELENK2

    http://www.scmp.com/news/asia/article/1441024/chinese-passenger-jet-carrying-220-people-near-miss-north-korean-missile

    this could have been a disaster . NK missle in near miss with Chinese passenger plane

  • HELENK2

    http://www.mcclatchydc.com/2014/03/05/220273/senate-staffers-slipped-secret.htm

    Larry
    what is going on here?????

    considering the diarrhea of mouth that infects DC, I can understand the CIA reasoning

  • HELENK2
  • HELENK2

    http://thediplomad.blogspot.com/2014/03/cage-fighter-vs-pajama-boy-putin.html

    this is one of the best descriptions of putin and backtrack I have seen

    Reply

  • HELENK2
    • DianaLC

      This one is very interesting. As someone who is older than dirt and who attended her first Republican caucus, I am now convinced more than ever that there is something in the water in D.C. that turns our supposed representatives and senators into a subspecies of zombies. They don’t literally drink our blood but do it by taking the money we earn from our blood sweat and tears.
      At the caucus I attended there was much discussion about needing to really check out the Republicans running to make sure they were doing what they are standing for what they said they are standing for. Several there also made mention of how they had thought of leaving the party as the national committee had apparently committed some of the same takeover of the rules during the last election for what would happen at the national convention.. Interesting.
      I know I am really now an independent, but I went to the caucus because I am determined to work somehow to defeat Udall, to help change the makeup of the Senate.

  • http://www.fightingforthefaith.com/ LuthersRose

    Thanks for giving me permission to hate 12 Years, without any pressure to watch it. I’ve been trying to convince myself to see it for months, without success.

    I thought American Hustle was fantastic. It seemed totally original and surprising and I never knew where it was going next. Bale & Adams were simply amazing.

    Gravity was a riveting thrill ride from beginning to end. We saw it at IMAX in 3-D… wow.

    Here’s something for everyone… it’s the winner for short doc titled Alice: The Lady in Number 6. You can rent or buy it on Vimeo. Alice was 109 yrs. old when it was made. The filmmaker who collected the award said Alice died two weeks before the Oscars, at the age of 110.

    WATCH THE TRAILER and/or RENT IT HERE:
    https://vimeo.com/ondemand/5182/75629312

    • DianaLC

      Thanks for the recommendations. The trailer itself on the last one is inspirational in itself.

  • binky354

    Erik Rush has made some good points in his recent article about Putin, Ukraine, our politicians and our foreign policy. It starts with:

    It would be an understatement to say that I was decidedly irked at Sens. John McCain, Lindsay Graham and others of their caliber making the rounds of television news shows this week bemoaning President Obama’s weakness on foreign policy as the cause for Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. Equally irksome was their bastardization of conservatives’ talking points pertaining to the issue; i.e., extolling the wisdom of former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin and 2012 Republican nominee Mitt Romney in their admonitions to beware Russia in 2008 and 2012, respectively.

    Read more at http://www.wnd.com/2014/03/who-is-putin-really-fighting-in-ukraine/#pXPmhIGoE8UDAyIc.99

  • HELENK2

    http://www.westernjournalism.com/judge-strikes-down-ndaa-rules-obama-must-obey-constitution/

    Conn judge strikes down NDAA rules backtrack must obey the Constitution. this is a very important ruling

  • BannedAgain15

    Larry Johnson your rant about this movie is about par for the course for you…. no surprise!

    • DianaLC

      Down arrow: ad hominem attack and no substance from a robotic device.

  • HELENK2
  • HELENK2

    http://www.bizpacreview.com/2014/03/05/obama-honors-womens-history-month-by-tweeting-photo-of-barack-obama-104693

    celebrate women’s history month with a picture of backtrack

    he either has advisers that hate him or they are all 12 years old with no sense

    • binky354

      What an arrogant _________________ (your choice)!

  • ME

    LOL, “slave porn,” huh? I think that’s an accurate term. Some boob on the TV said this movie was “groundbreaking because for the first time it tells the story of America’s hidden past.” It was like something a kid would write in a grade school paper if they were trying to suck up. “I think this was a very important movie because slavery is bad.” Like, no Chit Sherlock, got anymore deep thought to share? Kids can be forgiven, but so called pseudo intellectual adults? Pfftt. I’d like to smack them all right off my TV.

    • binky354

      first time it tells the story of America’s hidden past? Really? Anyone who thinks that must be illiterate.

  • KlugerRD

    I saw all the Oscar nominated movies – in my personal “theater” courtesy of Pablo who sells first run DVDs for $5

    All the movies were fine – did not find any that bad – and certainly not on the putrid level like “The English Patient.”

    • nickoury

      I guess you wouldn’t have lasted too long at the
      J. Peterman Company.

  • elizabethrc

    …and it’s sequel: 136 minutes a waste.

  • Dave L.

    OT LONG BEACH >> Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton on Tuesday compared recent actions by Russian President Vladimir Putin in the Ukraine to those implemented by Adolf Hitler in the late 1930s.

    Putin’s desire to protect minority Russians in Ukraine is reminiscent of Hitler’s actions to protect ethnic Germans outside Germany, she said.

    Yep, shes ready to be president !!

    • KlugerRD

      If what she said is true, then she is Neville Chamberlain

  • S7teen70six

    This is all a very bad movie: 5 1/4 Years of Hearing a Bunch of Bullshit About Slavery and Slaves from the Political Party of Slave Masters.

  • S7teen70six

    This is really dear leader giving Putin a piece of his mind from the most appropriate location.

    • samb1

      I guess he was looking for that small and
      irrelevant look.

      • binky354

        We can’t possibly know all the forces working to put the world in an upheaval or who the administration is working with or against. I found the following interesting, but not surprising, and I can’t begin to know the truth; I feel they’ve been on the dark side in the support of the so-called Arab Spring:

        http://www.wnd.com/2014/03/russians-u-s-siding-with-neo-nazis/

  • DianaLC

    I can’t contribute to this post. I visited the hairdresser today for my monthly appointment and then also had a two-year appointment scheduled with a cardiologist. I sat in both waiting areas a bit and picked up various People magazines. I looked through them and kept saying to myself, “Who are these people in this People magazine?”
    That’s how out of touch I am with Hollywood.
    But my day won’t bee too wasted. We’re leaving soon for our Republican precinct caucus to choose among other things the candidate to run against Udall. I did catch an online debate between the contenders a week ago. Then the next day Ken Buck (who came close against Bennett last time) announced he was dropping out in favor of Cory Gardner, a current Rep for my uncle’s district and a person who has recently been appearing on some of the Fox interviews. We also have a well-spoken Tea Party candidate supported by a national Tea Party radio guy. I just want the candidate who polls highest against Udall.
    Here we go already with the November elections.

  • beyond partisan

    This is something that needs to be shouted from the rooftops every time a race-baiter tries to stir up white guilt over slavery – there are more slaves today in the world than in any time in history – a good number are child sex slaves. Why aren’t the Democrats doing anything about it? Because they value their own hedonism above the lives of little children, that’s why.

  • samb1

    I don’t go to the movies.
    I’m to cheap.

    • nickoury

      Couldn’t shell out for that extra “o”?

      • samb1

        The movies today are rewashed
        rehashed and over rated.
        As Mr L J has pointed out.
        I would rather spend it on
        good food and good wine.

        • nickoury

          Can’t argue with those facts.

    • Dave L.

      The last movie I saw at the theater was Porky’s, 1982. My wife and I went to see another movie at a multiplex theater and the little ticket taker bastard sent us to this theater. I am sure he thought it was funny. I won’t spend a dime of my money to support this liberal industry !

  • foxyladi14

    Thanks for the heads up Larry.

  • foxyladi14

    Thanks for the heads up Larry.

  • buzzlatte3

    I’m tired of being a slave to Hollywood’s cause du jour. So, no, I won’t be supporting another “white guilt” movie. Obama still sucks as a president and human being. And yes, he’s part black. Deal with it, Hollywood!

  • HARP2

    Wouldn’t waste my time on any of them.

  • wyntre

    I agree. I broke down Sunday and went to see it. I also saw Philomena, Wolf, American Hustle and the Meryl Streep nominated movie (forgot the name, that’s how bad that one was).

    12 Years was the worst of the bunch. Wolf and Philamena were the best (IMHO).

    12 years was a pathetic, boring, cliched film with no historical, educational or inspirational value. I was so bored I kept yawning and I nearly walked out of the theater.

    I’m waiting for Hollywood to do a movie about the real origins of slavery and films black Africans capturing, torturing and selling other black Africans. I won’t hold my breath.

    • Retired_from_SPOnaj

      Perhaps a movie on the history of our current President’s African family activities with regard to slave trading would be instructional.

      • wyntre

        I’d go to see that!

  • elizabethrc

    Hollywood will never understand their own hypocrisy. Their politics and their sensibilities may inconvenience others but never touch them in any way. They live in a world of make believe and unreality, much like their leader, Obama.
    When the likes of these privileged, self-absorbed ‘children’ delve into our lives, they are overstepping themselves. When I leave a theatre, I leave the fantasy behind. They do not.
    They, like Mikey Zuckerberg, think that their money gives them license make America the way THEY want it to be. In Mikey’s case, he wants him some cheap labor, so what do our laws matter as long as he gets his way?
    No, I stopped going to moves decades ago, when Hollywood got too big for it’s britches. I see from Larry’s report that it hasn’t gotten better…it’s gotten worse.

  • S7teen70six

    And I suppose that the film went out of its way to clarify that it was members of the Democrat party that enslaved him. For historical accuracy and all. I mean, they gave the film the highest honor, surely it is historically accurate. Ah, the party of slave masters and their slaves. Gotta love em. Or not.

  • DailyPUMA

    When you aren’t attacking Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton, your observations are far more interesting and worth reading. I haven’t seen the movie but I think if the movie rehashed the obvious regarding slave times rather than pulling out real triumphant moments among slaves that has never seen the light of day, then you are probably 100% spot on.

    I think slave era movies should use the Charlie Brown trick of never showing the parents (aka the white slave owners) and focus entirely on how slaves survived and thrived and achieved. Making the slave owner such a dominant person in movies about slaves just takes away from what slaves did achieve in spite of their oppression.

    There are so many complex issues regarding slavery such as, once slaves were in the U.S., how do they gain their freedom? Because slaves reproduced, you can’t break up the family and say after 10 years a slave, you get your freedom, but your kids have to stay slaves, and if the whole family was set free at the same time, then what? There probably would have been mini civil wars all over the south.

    I’d like to see a movie that simply shows how slavery could have been transformed into freedom in a realistic manner, how could it have actually happened prior to the Civil War? I’d like to see a movie about all the clever inventions slaves were coming up with. Simply recreating the whipping scenes, why? Everybody knows about it, why reinforce the basest of actions at the expense of leaving out the achievements and successes slaves created for the country.

    • 0getfitnow1

      Obviously, there’s much more to the history. It would be fair to examine the elite black society post Reconstruction. A good read: The Senator and the Socialite.

      Also, we don’t hear about the ownership of slaves by blacks, for example. And no, they weren’t all bought and given their freedom.

      IMO, Clinton and Obama deserve every ounce, and some, criticism they get.

  • no_longer_a_democrat

    No. And NO!

    and I have no no plans to either!

    I’m tired of these type movies, the best black films that I found very inspiring was Roots and Gifted Hands ( story of Dr. Ben Carson). The rest, “The Butler” etc etc etc are all just trying to keep the white guilt alive. I’m sure next year will be another such white guilt type movie, frankly, if there are black movies to be made, they need to be along the lines of “Gifted Hands” on how minorities like Dr. Carson struggled yet succeeded and inspire others to do so, rather than the guilt nonsense movies like The Butler etc so…

    we need to move past the guilt past and address the real issues…

    Hollywood of course will not… all liberals, all voting like dumbass liberals.

    ( I will watch Gravity though, I like Sandra Bullock, saw the trailer for the movie, looked great)

    • http://noquarterusa.net Larry Johnson

      Captain Phillips and Dallas Buyers Club are great. Well done and entertaining.

    • 0getfitnow1

      Somethng the Lord Made is another really good movie about cardiac pioneer, Vivien Thomas.

    • beyond partisan

      Gravity is amazing. There’s a reason why he won Best Director. Should have won Best Picture too, but politics got in the way.