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Noah. Do You Give a Shit?

I am watching with fascination the reaction to the new piece of Hollywood bullshit, NOAH. According to Variety’s Justin Chang, the movie is just brilliant:

Watching “Noah,” which makes a few concessions to epic fantasy/blockbuster conventions without sacrificing its fundamental seriousness and moral urgency, you get the feeling that Aronofsky (who wrote the script with his regular collaborator Ari Handel) read the Genesis account of Noah’s life and saw in it, perhaps, a vessel for some of the themes and obsessions that have haunted him his entire career. This is a director whose characters often know they are destined for greatness, but for whom greatness proves a terrible burden; to watch “Noah” is to recognize the tortured sensibility behind the lurching attempts at transcendence in “The Fountain,” the unnerving altered states of “Requiem for a Dream,” the brutal physical and spiritual sacrifices endured by the protagonists of “The Wrestler” and “Black Swan.” You also sense that Aronofsky realized there was a place for his anguished dramatics and trippy aesthetics in the annals of great religious artwork, and that there was no reason why the challenge of biblical interpretation should be off-limits to a filmmaker just because he happens to be a staunch environmentalist, a brilliant fantasist and, yes, a self-avowed atheist.

All of this should trouble the sort of Christian, I suppose, who imagines that the proper care of the Earth is strictly the domain of those godless liberal tree-huggers; that our readings of the Bible should never stir in us a sense of wonder or supernatural possibility; and that the only artists who could possibly extract anything of value from a religious text are those who readily subscribe to its teachings. To believe such a thing, of course, is to ignore one of the great recurring themes of Scripture, which is that God can and does use the most unlikely of individuals to glorify His name and advance His purposes, and is indeed rather fond of subverting our prejudices about who and what is good, moral and worthy of emulation.

And then there is the reaction of Hot Air’s Ed Morrissey:

Darren Aronofsky recently bragged that he had made “the least-biblical biblical film ever made” in Noah. Paramount responded to the derision that followed by issuing a release stating that the film was inspired by the Biblical story from Genesis, but that “artistic license had been taken.” After having seen the film, it’s clear that Paramount engaged in hyperbole, because there is very little about Noah that is either inspired or artistic — aside from a couple of good performances that almost make the film watchable. Almost.

In short, Noah is a mess from any perspective — in regard to its source material, to its interior logic, and even to any sense of narrative. The film isn’t a glorious mess like Moulin Rouge or an enjoyable mess like Basic, but a grim and joyless mess that no one needs to pay $10 to watch. Noah goes from his Biblical characterization, as the man God chooses to safeguard the best of humanity for a fresh start to creation, to a man obsessed with the idea of killing every human being possible — including his freshly-born twin granddaughters.

Even that might have made for an interesting evening at the movies if Aronofsky offered a fresh perspective and something close to coherence. Instead, we get an anti-technology, anti-carnivore lecture that recycles predictable clichés and overlays it on the Flood story. If Wizards entered into a polyamorous relationship with Road Warrior, The Day After Tomorrow, and Waterworld, and their child was midwifed by Michael Bay, it just might be Noah. The rock monsters — actually trapped angels who made the mistake of sympathizing with Adam and Eve — best recall Galaxy Quest’s, or perhaps The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything.

Just how incoherent does Noah get? The entire second half of Noah revolves around the tension between serving God — excuse me, The Creator — while wiping out the human race. Noah alienates Ham by refusing to save a girl he rescues, only allows Shem to pair up with foundling Ila because Noah thinks she’s barren, and Japheth is far too young to be married at all. Noah’s vision of God’s plan is to save all the animals but make sure no human reproduces. It gets so ridiculous that Noah actually gets to the point of murdering his two unexpected twin granddaughters (after Ila gets the world’s first home-pregnancy test from Noah’s wife Naameh) in his Malthusian obsession, until “love” stops him.

Did these guys see the same movie? Who you gonna trust?

As for me and my house, I believe Ed Morrissey. Always trust the Irish Catholic over the Chinese whatever.

Aronofsky’s hang ups on being a Vegan and hating the very capitalism that funds his bullshit projects is on full display in this dreadful movie. Idiots liked Change tried to persuade trusting folks that “12 Years a Slave” was an equally brilliant piece. It was a piece alright. A total piece of shit.

And now we have Noah. What the hell are these people thinking?

  • Chin zilla
  • beyond partisan

    Went to see Muppets Most Wanted instead. Hilarious – although Palin-hatin’ Tina Fey is in it.

  • HELENK2
  • HELENK2

    NATO and Ukraine will intensify cooperation
    and promote defense reforms; NATO will suspend all practical civilian
    and military cooperation with Russia – @Reuters

    end of alert

  • HELENK2
  • HELENK2

    http://time.com/44281/jonathan-pollard-israel-obama/

    backtrack considering releasing Johnathon Pollard
    to keep peace talks going

    • TeakWoodKite

      ???????????????????

  • Deapster

    OT: The Benghazi story will not die – screws tighten on Morrell:

    http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2014/mar/31/cia-ignored-station-chief-in-libya-when-creating-t/

    The more excuses they float, the more questions that keep coming. Truth will out.

  • http://www.fightingforthefaith.com/ LuthersRose

    I originally intended to see it because I’m wild about Russell Crowe and I hoped it would be at least a little bit of fun and a mixture of some Scripture with manmade nonsense. Remember that cute movie starring Steve Carrell as a modern Noah? I loved that movie.

    But I’ve now read enough about it (thanks Larry for adding Ed M’s great piece to the pile) to know that I would be hostile and teed off from the first minute to the last of a VERY long movie. Who needs it? And who wants to throw $10 in the hat to encourage these self aggrandizing weirdoes to make more trash?

    Over at Answers In Genesis, there’s a good run-down. One of the points made is that the script writers changed a number of small details from God’s Word like: making Noah’s father Lamech die when Noah was a boy (Bible says Lamech lived until Noah was age 595); making Japheth the youngest of Noah’s sons (Bible says Ham was the youngest). And other things like that. Plus the authors describe a mini-movie within the movie, showing how we “evolved” after a Big Bang, from random dots to fish to apes to fully formed buff actors with perfect skin, teeth, and pedicures! (By the way, has anyone else ever wondered why people who believe in evolution always stop the chain at Mankind? It seems these types really are the apples of their own eyes.)

    See:
    The Noah Movie: Our Detailed Review
    https://www.readability.com/articles/v0zh0akh

  • HELENK2

    http://weaselzippers.us/181304-troops-supposedly-willing-to-sacrifice-pay-for-training-and-equipment/

    backtrack really did get rid of the military leaders that had any common sense didn’t he?

  • TeakWoodKite

    “… glorify His name and advance His purposes, and is indeed rather fond of subverting our prejudices about who and what is good, moral and worthy of emulation…”

    WTF? subvert???? What crack pipe is this asshole sucking on?
    I will never see this movie as the trailer for it looked like trash…

  • HELENK2
  • KlugerRD

    I will not watch the movie – ever.

    I see no reason to financially support entertainment whose intent is some political message which apparently this Noah movie is.

  • cathnealon

    I recommend Carpenter’s 1988 “They Live.” (some posters: “Obey.” “They Live, We Sleep.”) It’s as prophetic a movie as I have ever seen. Up there in what is happening today to Orwell’s 1984.

    • S7teen70six

      A big two thumbs up for They Live.

  • DianaLC

    I hate to sound like a broken record, but it’s all the fault of the current state of academia–at least as far as in the arts and literature departments. so much crap comes out of those departments nowadays it’s not even funny.
    And who sends their kids to Sunday school any more or to Bible school–much less the seven months of Saturday confirmation schooI like the one I attended?
    Our greatest literature in the Western world was infused with biblical allusions. I don’t know many people now who can read and recognize them. But to take a cartoon superhero version and then add some tidbits of references to other things from the Bible (God’s testing of Abraham) and then sprinkle it a little here and a little there with other supposed references and call it a work of art is just hubris in full force.
    I didn’t see it and won’t. Everything I’ve read and seen about it was enough to make me feel sad.

  • wyntre

    If Chang thinks 12 years was brilliant and also recommends Noah I will definitely NOT see it.

    12 Years was a waste of almost 3 hours of my life.

  • elizabethrc

    Somehow the image of high-tech explosions and biblical stories strain my imagine just a tad. Hollywood has always gone for the big, the bold, the loud, the obscene. The folks in Hollywood frequently try to ‘own’ history and if that doesn’t work, they just change it to something nearly unrecognizable. Then they put a big box office ‘name’ in the leading role and the gullible public (of whom the British once said, “Americans will do almost anything to keep from being bored”, this in speaking of why talk shows are so popular) will rush to throw their money at an industry which basically ridicules ordinary folks living ordinary lives.
    Bigger is not always better.

  • HARP2

    Last movie I paid to see was the original Star Wars.

    I think I’ll skip THIS crap too.

  • S7teen70six

    I find both the exaltation and condemnation of this film to be ludicrous. Hell, even Ben Shapiro is a film critic and religious scholar now. Step away from the screen. It’s only a movie.

  • Sam

    Lots of people give a shit and those who do had better get busy educating the young around them about the true message in the Gospels and the history of the Old Testament. It’s time to stop focusing on school prayer and prayer at football games and get to the important stuff — and do it on your own time.

  • HELENK2

    http://foxnewsinsider.com/2014/03/31/gop-lawmaker-says-benghazi-investigation-will-lead-hillary-clinton-it-was-her-show

    GOP lawmaker says Benghazi investigation will lead to Hilary Clinton, it was her show

    • KenoshaMarge

      Just one more skeleton in Hillary’s closet. Will the Dems and Fems who worship at her feet care? Many of the same Dems who abandoned her in droves in 2008 for the newest shiny object?

      Now an older woman is suddenly okay? Cankles and all? What effin hypocrites.

      • elizabethrc

        I’m surprised Nutrisystem hasn’t contacted her.

        • TeakWoodKite

          NutriBorg?

        • Deapster

          Depends beat them to it. After all, with HRC it depends.

  • HELENK2

    http://weaselzippers.us/181312-hagel-suggests-he-favors-tobacco-sales-ban-at-military-installations/

    what part of they are shooting real bullets at our military and you are worried about smoking not being good for their health don’t I understand?

  • HELENK2
  • HELENK2

    I have no plans to see it. i stopped going to movies a while ago. Really not that many good ones and very few good actors that are worth the price of a movie.

    can you picture what the directors of today would have done with DeMille’s Ten Commandments?

    • elizabethrc

      Today’s untalented directors would have made it into something you could dance to.

  • KenoshaMarge

    In answer to your question, “No I don’t give a shit.” I will not an effort to see the movie but then I don’t bother with most of Hollywood’s crap any more. The “controversy” is, to me, both silly and pointless. To expect Hollywood to be true to anything is naive.

    Years ago I would scream at a screen when watching some “historical” movie and the many inacuracies. I gave up on any idea of honesty or accuracy from them a long time ago.

    I’m sure “Noah” was made with the chance for giant spectale and with the hope of also drawing a “Christian” audience too. A twofer in the money department.

    If someone “wants” to be offended by the movie they will be. And the more they protest the more controversy and the more people will flock to see the movie.