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Your Choice: Laugh, Scream or Cry!

Sunday funnies — from Mike Soraghan for The Hill: “Columnist Robert Novak said Saturday Ambassador Joe Wilson did not forcefully object to the naming of his CIA operative wife, Valerie Plame Wilson, when Novak spoke to him prior to the publication of a column that sparked a federal investigation and sent White House aide I. Lewis ‘Scooter’ Libby to jail. ‘He was not terribly exercised about it’, Novak said. Instead, Wilson focused on not being portrayed as simply an opponent of the Iraq war. Wilson also stressed that his wife went by his last name, Wilson, rather than Plame, Novak said. …” (There’s more below the fold, but grab a hankie before you read the rest of Robert’s sad tale.)

This from McClatchy is a bona fide screamer! “The latest problem with the trouble-plagued new U.S. embassy complex in Iraq is that the sprinkler systems meant to contain a fire do not work, according to officials in Congress and the State Department. The previously undisclosed problem in the $592 million project was discovered several weeks ago when the fire-safety systems were tested and pipe joints burst. … In May, when kitchen facilities at a guard camp that is part of the embassy complex were tested, the electrical system malfunctioned and wires melted. A subsequent inquiry showed that First Kuwaiti had used counterfeit electrical wiring. …”

And here’s another howler from Glenn Kessler for the Washington Post via TalkLeft. Jerilyn writes:

Aside from the ridiculous cost and a State Department report saying the U.S. will pay an additional $144 million because the workmanship done so far is shoddy, can someone explain why the U.S. is building the largest U.S. embassy in the world in Iraq?

Jerilyn then quotes Kessler’s story:

The embassy, which will be the largest U.S. diplomatic mission in the world, was budgeted at $592 million. The core project was supposed to have been completed by last month, but the timetable has slipped so much that the State Department has sought and received permission from the Iraqi government to allow about 2,000 non-Iraqi construction employees to stay in the country until March.

Paddy at Cliff Schecter’s blog has attached an apt video to the McClatchy story:

Back to Novak — CRY ME A RIVER!

Novak said his critics, including those in the press, have attacks his ethics, when in fact their quarrel was with his ideology.

“I was stunned by how little editorial support I received. I was under assault from editorial writers from across the country,” Novak said. “It is startling how little is known about this case by the people who are commenting on it.”

He said his case shows the need for a shield law like the one approved last week by a Senate committee. But he added, “Is it not hypocritical for my critics to support a law that would have saved me from three years of confrontation?”

You can read more blubbering, obfuscations, lies, — and, dare we say, self-serving bullshit?! — at The Hill.

:::::::::::

UPDATES for your amusement — and for those for whom these stories produce anxiety, all I can say is get a sense of humor! And, lastly, there’s a moment of sanity:

Glenn Beck to Muslim-American guest:

“How do we know the difference between you and those that are trying to kill us?” In Nov. 2006, Beck made a similar comment to Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MN). “I have been nervous about this interview with you,” Beck said, “because what I feel like saying is, ‘Sir, prove to me that you are not working with our enemies.’”

(Remember when CNN Headline News had headline news stories?)

When they were sane — when torture wasn’t in the cards — “Fort Hunt’s Quiet Men Break Silence on WWII,” Washington Post, Oct 5, 2007:

Back then, they and their commanders wrestled with the morality of bugging prisoners’ cells with listening devices. They felt bad about censoring letters. They took prisoners out for steak dinners to soften them up. They played games with them.

“We got more information out of a German general with a game of chess or Ping-Pong than they do today, with their torture,” said Henry Kolm, 90, an MIT physicist who had been assigned to play chess in Germany with Hitler’s deputy, Rudolf Hess.

Several of the veterans, all men in their 80s and 90s, denounced the controversial techniques. And when the time came for them to accept honors from the Army’s Freedom Team Salute, one veteran refused, citing his opposition to the war in Iraq and procedures that have been used at Guantanamo Bay in Cuba.

“I feel like the military is using us to say, ‘We did spooky stuff then, so it’s okay to do it now,’ ” said Arno Mayer, 81, a professor of European history at Princeton University.

Truly remarkable. And all the moreso for me since I’ve been watching The War on PBS, and can only imagine the hostility and anger that every American soldier had to have against those in the German military.

  • http://noquarterusa.net/ SusanUnPC

    Add your own contribution to the Sunday funnies.

    • http://noquarterusa.net/ SusanUnPC
      • Teaeopy

        Next thing you know some ranking Iraqi will say that Ryan Crocker is an agent of plundering invaders. Or has that already happened?

  • Retired

    The Iraq Embassy story reminds me somewhat of the early 1980s project to build an ambassador’s residence in Cairo. It was such a disaster that they abandoned the “completed” residence before anyone moved in. Newly arrived officers at the embassy would take tours of the house for comic relief. One of the absolute screamers were the bathrooms, which could not be entered because the commodes blocked the opening of the doors. With classic Egyptian craftsmanship, the builders installed the commodes, the installed the doors, then climbed out through the ceiling, then finished off the ceiling. This, one wag would say, was how they built the Pyramids.

    • Delia

      Except the Pyramids were built to last.

    • Fred C. Dobbs

      There’s a reason why this happens. There is a pronounced lack of manual skills in the Middle East Arab.

      If you need a door hung, a piece of wire pulled in a conduit or pipe installed so that the poop runs downhill, you have to import the skill set. Usually from India or Pakistan.

      The indignous people certainly know how to extract a bribe from Brits/Frenchmen/Gringoes or whichever Conquistadors du Jour appear, but get any work done?

      Not so much, Sports Fans…

      My schdenfreude is hoping that they thoroughly screw the Chinese, too, when it becomes Beijing’s turn to be Masters of the Universe.

    • Yogi-one

      Wow- you mean those Filipino slaves are not master electricians and builders? Whoa – who’d a thunk it?

      Hey it’s just taxpayers money – there’s plenty more where it came from…I know – let’s go ask Congress for another $500 billion!

      It doesn’t get any better than this!

  • mudkitty

    Cry. Then decry. Then scream.

    • http://noquarterusa.net/ SusanUnPC

      Are those the three stages that ultimately take one to political action?!

  • http://robinstorm.blogspot.com Rob

    How about scream….

    I spoke this morning to a mother of a Marine Corp Gunny who ask me to think about coming up with an idea of how to heat instant coffee in a disposable cup. It seems that some of our troops are “eating” packets of instant coffee because there is no way to heat water while the troops are in the field and on the run. I am told that many Marine’s are staining their teeth eating coffee….

    What the hell?

    • http://belaboringtheobvious.blogspot.com montag

      If they can find a metal canteen (like the older kind with the snap-on canvas cover), remove the cover and strap the canteen to the intake manifold of a humvee. Water will be hot in about twenty minutes. Of course, they can’t just leave it there indefinitely, because it will explode from the steam pressure.

      Alternatively, they could search around for a spot in the engine compartment which stays warm, but below the boiling point.

      Another alternative would be to do the equivalent of making “sun tea.” Put the coffee and water into a clear glass bottle and leave it in the back of a humvee where it’s exposed to the sun for a couple of hours.

      • http://noquarterusa.net/ SusanUnPC

        Last resort: Transport them to their own kitchen in the U.S. of A.

        • http://belaboringtheobvious.blogspot.com montag

          No argument with that.

  • Chris Vosburg

    Rob writes: It seems that some of our troops are “eating” packets of instant coffee because there is no way to heat water while the troops are in the field and on the run. I am told that many Marine’s are staining their teeth eating coffee….

    The disposable cup aspect presents a problem, but Ma’s Gunny Sonny can carry the Jetboil Personal Cooking System in his pack and enjoy hot beverages and more– “From day hikes to K2 ascents, from solo to multi-member teams, from gourmet coffee to dehydrated foods to fancy rice dishes, Jetboil is at home in every situation.”

    Weighs less than a pound, tea cosy not included.

    • http://robinstorm.blogspot.com Rob

      Chris

      You got a real sense of humor… Ma’s Gunny Sonny eh? Keep your day job and stick the jet boil where the sun does not shine. Man some of you people really have to grow up…

      • http://noquarterusa.net/ SusanUnPC

        Was this a case of a flat medium not conveying Chris’s amusing suggestion? (I.e., when I read it, I thought it was light-hearted, if an unlikely possibility for the troops, and also amusing.)

        • Chris Vosburg

          SusanUnPC writes: Was this a case of a flat medium not conveying Chris’s amusing suggestion?

          Yeah, it was, and it wasn’t [laughing]. Cold coffee’s the least of a soldier’s problems, of course, but still, they’re human, hot coffee is nice, and some of these guys carry cellphones and cameras, so it didn’t seem all that crazy, despite the manufacturer’s doubtful claim that “Jetboil is at home in any situation!”

          And the tea cosy gag was simply impossible to resist, as I imagined hardened marines bemoaning the lack of niceties in war.

  • Chris Vosburg

    Webmaster, take a look at the url in my “href” tag above. Without the trailing space and period, which I added in an attempt to fool the software, the parser disappeared the entirety of my post after the opening anchor tag without it (at least, in preview window it did).

    Why it do that?

    • http://noquarterusa.net/ SusanUnPC

      It does that to me too, Chris — in the preview mode. (But when I post, it’s all there.) Will ask Moses about it.

      Btw, for me (maybe because I’m using Mac’s stupidly annoying Safari web browser), the Link button doesn’t work so I have to type the A HREF tags myself … not a major chore, but still.

      • Chris Vosburg

        SusanUnPC writes: Btw, for me (maybe because I’m using Mac’s stupidly annoying Safari web browser), the Link button doesn’t work so I have to type the A HREF tags myself … not a major chore, but still.

        Oh, [laughing], is the link button supposed to do something? Same here, and I’m using IE6sp1 on win98se. I’ve been hand-cobbling the links out of habit, and only just tried the button out after your mention of it, maybe I’m not doing it right. Thanks for the tip on “phantom preview” bug.

        Any tips, Moses, or other commenters?

        • http://noquarterusa.net/ SusanUnPC

          An e-mail has been sent off to Moses.

          Oh, [laughing], is the link button supposed to do something?

          Are you belittling the link button? What’s your angle here, buddy?! You think that bracketed “laughing” gets you off the hook?!

          • Chris Vosburg

            SusanUnPC writes: You think that bracketed “laughing” gets you off the hook?!

            Yikes, looks like I’ve gotta ramp up the ingratiating charm with Plan B: [winning smile].

            Didn’t mean to poke fun at it, or Moses, for that matter. Just surprised to discover it doesn’t do anything. As implied, incidentally, this isn’t a browser issue, just a loose end in the coding.

            • http://noquarterusa.net/ SusanUnPC

              Pulling your leg.

              Moses — thank whichever god you worship, you heathens — is a whiz at WordPress and a fan of the software to boot. He’ll figure something out. Or, within the limits of the software … it does have some limits. (He’s so great to work with. Lucky us.)

  • Chris Vosburg

    Rob writes: Keep your day job and stick the jet boil where the sun does not shine. Man some of you people really have to grow up…

    Sorry, I thought your question was a genuine request for ideas. So what was your solution?

    • http://robinstorm.blogspot.com Rob

      First of all Chris this jet boil is nothing new. Secondly, there is no way anyone is going to carry one of these on a patrol. Secondly, since the USG does not pay for these each solider has to buy his own. That is unacceptable. Why should they have too?

      This should be a very easy solution a disposable cup of instant coffee with some form of heat exchange and or small reusable battery plate.

  • Chris Vosburg

    Columnist Robert Novak said Saturday Ambassador Joe Wilson did not forcefully object to the naming of his CIA operative wife, Valerie Plame Wilson, when Novak spoke to him prior to the publication of a column that sparked a federal investigation…

    Oh brother. If Wilson objects, then Novak asks why, and Wilson cannot answer without breaching Val’s cover, which he is by law forbidden to do.

    Novak said the same thing about the CIA official he spoke to before publishing the column, and the CIA official got the chance to call bullshit on him in court. Novak does not seem to remember any of his conversations the way others do.

    It’s fitting, in a way, to see that Novak is apparently doomed to devoting the remainder of his disgraced retirement to pathetic, whiny defenses of the actions leading thereto.

    Best punishment I can hope for, I guess.

    • http://noquarterusa.net/ SusanUnPC

      It was pathetic and I got this sixth-sense feeling that the reporter felt the same way, and was only too happy to report Novak’s “pathetic, whiny defenses” as you so aptly describe them.

    • Delia

      What did Jon Stewart call Novak? The “Douchebag of Freedom” or something like that.

      • Fred C. Dobbs

        Novak is a blight and shame upon the name of douchebags everywhere…

  • Chris Vosburg

    Rob writes: This should be a very easy solution a disposable cup of instant coffee with some form of heat exchange and or small reusable battery plate.

    Possible, but batteries are kinda heavy, so I rejected battery power in favor of the propane solution.

    You know, it’s possible to generate heat via chemical reaction, so this might be the best approach for a field use depending, as you say, on disposable containers– a little single serving stick or packet you could “snap” (think light sticks) and throw into the cup of water along with the coffee.

    • http://robinstorm.blogspot.com Rob

      Chris

      Now we are thinking…. I retract my previous posting …..Got to be a better way

  • Dimitri

    Robert Nofacts is just a pathetic little weasel, whatever the future holds for that treasonous little bastard I pray it not be positive.

    I just can’t wait to read Fair Game!

  • jeffreyw

    In Viet Nam we had metal canteen cups, so our method was to use a smallish lump of C4 to heat water for coffee or cocoa. Twist a small bit of the lump into a thread and light with a match. We used C-Rat cans for stoves.
    We were warned to never try to stomp out the C4 fire lest we blow off a foot. None of us were willing to test that theory.

    • Fred C. Dobbs

      Nice to know there’s another old fart on here…next we’ll be talking aboout, “Ham and M***********s.”

      And one Chiclet, the GI equivalent of One Hand Clapping.

  • http://noquarterusa.net/blog/ Leslie

    In Novakula world, Joe Wilson is to blame for the outing of his wife by Novak because Wilson didn’t object forcefully enough to suit Novak. As a result, poor Novak had to shell out $130,000 in legal fees. And all that time being asked to explain why he exposed a CIA asset, etc., hasn’t taught him anything. He still proclaims his innocence. If only Joe Wilson had objected more strenuously, if only the CIA had objected more strenuously, Novakula reasons, then I wouldn’t have been in the pickle I’m still in. It had nothing to do with the article I wrote…nothing at all. I don’t understand why everyone is so mad at me?

    Oh brother! By the way, Novak, paying $130,000 in legal fees is getting off pretty easy for aiding and abetting treason in my view.

    • http://www.food4humanity.org HoosierHoops

      I could never stand Novak.. For years i always thought he was a jerk..He proved me right creating plamegate for his own lousy selfish reasons.. I wish Fitz would have nailed him too..

  • DavidinNYC

    Don’t forget, The Hill is part of Ruprt Murdoch’s media empire. Novak know the interviewer would not challenge anything he said.

  • Dee Loralei

    When I read that embassy story today, it reminded me of the US Embassy built in Moscow during Reagan’s tenure. The entire thing was bugged and had to be abandoned.

    I had forgotten about the Egyptian embassy, which was also during Reagan’s time.

    There’s got to be some punch line about Republicans building things, but right now it escapes me.

  • http://spiiderweb.blogspot.com/ SPIIDERWEB™

    I definitely have to go with scream.

  • The Oracle

    Valerie Plame Wilson had two identities…Valerie Plame, the covert NOC CIA officer, and Valerie Wilson, the wife of former U.S. Ambassador Joe Wilson and mother to their children.

    So, I can imagine Mr. Wilson’s ears perking up when Robert Novak mentioned the name “Valerie Plame” in their conversation, at which time Mr. Wilson tried to divert Novak’s inquiry, as softly as possible, to Valerie Plame Wilson’s status as “Valerie Wilson,” while not saying anything that might compromise her “Valerie Plame” covert CIA identity, or at least not compromise it anymore than Novak’s questioning already indicated that her covert CIA identity had been compromised.

    Then, a CIA official also tries to “softly” warn Novak off running any story about “Valerie Plame,” but Novak didn’t take the hint, making him complicit in the outing of the identity of a covert CIA NOC officer, which led to the disclosure of Brewster Jennings being a covert CIA front company, compromising who knows how many other CIA operatives.

    Valerie Plame Wilson, as did her husband, kept their end of the bargain with the U.S. government, as did these other CIA operatives, while Robert Novak and a bunch of Bush administration officials ratted them all out, thus endangering our national security, and the lives of all U.S. citizens, in the process.

    So, my dear Novak, no number of apologies from you or Bush administration officials will ever be able to wipe off this stain on your reputation, or their’s.

    Oh, wait, all of these people attended the Rush Limbaugh School of Non-apology Apologies, where people learn to apologize as self-anointed proxies for the people they’ve wronged, but never for themselves and their criminal or highly questionable, unethical and un-American acts.

    • http://www.food4humanity.org HoosierHoops

      exactly right oracle!!

  • Teaeopy

    Department of State bypassed a perfectly good chance to reverse engineer one of Saddam’s palaces. Upon completion and occupation of the palatial embassy, having the guards from Blackwater wear identical moustaches would have added a befitting touch, and imposed some discipline, perhaps.

  • Bill Keyes

    Links to the the USS Ship of State the George W. Bush soon proudly to be launched from the banks of the Tigris River in Bagdad.

    http://www.detnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071007/NATION/710070331/1020/rss09

    http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/meast/10/05/iraq.embassy.ap/

    I say they better hurry up so King George can be properly executed er I mean enthroned in it prior to Jan 2009 or better yet just wait until after Hillary is sworn in and she can name King George as Ambassador to Iraq to thank him for all he has done for our Iraq invasion er I mean Iraq mission he accomplished.

    I do need to watch my tongue and show proper respect for our dictator in…i mean commander in chief…there I go again…showing no respect… what has gotten into me??

    Other quotes about the Imperial Palace built on the backs of Iraqi people er.I mean built on the banks of the Tigris River…..some of these which I swear I didn’t make up make you want to puke or laugh hysterically or both.

    “Although the U.S. government regularly proclaims confidence in Iraq’s democratic future, the United States has designed an embassy that conveys no confidence in Iraqis and little hope for their future,” historian Jane Loeffler writes in the current issue of Foreign Policy magazine.” (NO DUH)

    “Instead, the United States has built a fortress capable of sustaining a massive, long-term presence in the face of continued violence.”(WHERE DID SHE PULL THAT ONE OUT OF?)

    “Loeffler didn’t dispute the need for tight security in Baghdad. But she sees the Iraqi project as just one example of a disturbing trend in U.S. embassy construction worldwide — places so isolated and impenetrable that they make it harder for the United States to develop good relations with host countries.” (NO SHIT SHERLOCK!!!)

    “Another expert says Iraq presented unique challenges in embassy design because the country has been in a state of war for years and is apt to be so for the indefinite future.” (REALLY? INDEFINITELY??????)

    Stephen Biddle, an expert on national security policy at the Council on Foreign Relations says

    “As for the danger U.S. diplomats will become too isolated, “that could certainly happen if everybody is just sitting around in the embassy. “On the other hand, one would certainly hope that if the embassy is doing its business properly, it’s pushing its diplomats out to make contact with Iraqis”. (CAN’T YOU JUST IMAGINE A DIPLOMAT IN FULL PROTECTIVE GEAR ACCOMPANIED BY 10 BLACKWATER CHOPPERS TEN TRUCKS OF BLACKWATER MERCS, AND GOD KNOWS WHO ELSE WALKING UP TO AN IRAQI MERCHANT IN THE JOHN MC SAFE MARKET AND SAYING…….

    HI I’M DONNY DIPLOMAT AND THIS IS MY GUARD BLACKWATER AND THIS IS MY OTHER GUARD BLACKWATER!!!!!)

    “Biddle says the embassy’s nearly $600-million cost is not that outlandish given total U.S. spending in Iraq — $450-billion so far and climbing”. (NOT OUTLANDISH IS HE FUCKING CRAZY OR WHAT????)

    Still, $600-million buys a lot of comfort in a place where millions of people are living in such desperate circumstances, Loeffler says: (WHO IS SHE FUCKING KIDDING?? COMFORT FOR WHO??)

    And now for the last comment and you all know you always save the best for last, I will even put it in caps……..

    Finally Loeffler says

    “IF ANOTHER COUNTRY WAS IN THE UNITED STATES AND CLAIMED NOT TO BE AND OCCUP YING FORCE AND HAD EVERYTHING I DIDN’T HAVE, IT CERTAINLY WOULD DISTURB ME AS A CITIZEN.”

    ARGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!

    LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

    THEY’RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY HAHA THEY’RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY HAHA………………

    PS the full article from which the above quotes were taken is at this url…

    http://www.sptimes.com/2007/09/30/Worldandnation/New_US_Embassy_a_city.shtml

  • Fred C. Dobbs

    Interesting bit from 6 OCT L.A. Times.

    I Survived Blackwater

    http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/la-oe-gans6oct06,0,1155563.story?coll=la-opinion-center

  • greatdogs

    My nomination for laugh, scream or cry:

    http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/features/2007/11/halliburton200711

    In the midday heat of June 16, 2003, Conyers was summoned to fix a broken refrigerated truck—a “reefer,” in contractor parlance—at Log Base Seitz, on the edge of Baghdad’s airport. He and his colleagues had barely begun to inspect the sealed trailer when they found themselves reeling from a nauseating stench. The freezer was powered by the engine, and only after they got it running again, several hours later, did they dare open the doors.

    The trailer, unit number R-89, had been lying idle for two weeks, Conyers says, in temperatures that daily reached 120 degrees. “Inside, there were 15 human bodies,” he recalls. “A lot of liquid stuff had just seeped out. There were body parts on the floor: eyes, fingers. The goo started seeping toward us. Boom! We shut the doors again.” The corpses were Iraqis, who had been placed in the truck by a U.S. Army mortuary unit that was operating in the area. That evening, Conyers’s colleague Wallace R. Wynia filed an official report: “On account of the heat the bodies were decomposing rapidly.… The inside of the trailer was awful.”

  • greatdogs

    But the story gets better. Weeks later they used the same trailer to haul food and ice for the troops.

    So my question is, why is Vanity Fair (of all sources) the only one that reports this kind of stuff? My only answer is they are the independently owned media.

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  • Chris Vosburg

    Bill Keyes writes: Links to the the USS Ship of State the George W. Bush soon proudly to be launched from the banks of the Tigris River in Bagdad.

    Speaking of things launched from banks of rivers, I’m reminded that back in 2003, vigilant Thais trapped the spirit of George W Bush in a clay pot, gave it a cursing it won’t soon forget, and then flung it into a river in Northern Thailand.

    Sadly, it apparently didn’t take; Bush’s evil spirit still moves among us.