Father’s Day is a time to acknowledge the unique role dads have in raising the next generation of boys and girls. Both men as well as women need to be actively involved in raising children.

Dr. Michael S. Kimmel asks in his article Why Men Should Support Gender Equity

Why should men participate in the movement for gender equality? Simply put, I believe that these changes among men will actually benefit men, and that gender equality is not a loss for men, but an enormously positive thing that will enable us to live the kinds of lives we say we want to live.

… Rather than resisting the transformation of our lives that gender equality offers, I believe that we should embrace these changes, both because they offer us the possibilities of social and economic equality, and because they also offer us the possibilities of richer, fuller and happier lives with our friends, with our lovers, with our partners and with our children. We, as men, should support gender equality—both at work and at home.

We salute fathers who are raising young boys and girls to value gender equality. There are many organizations working to do just that on Father’s Day and all year long. Campaign for Gender Equality would like to thank them for their important and much needed work. Here are a few:

National Organization for Men Against Sexism We affirm that working to make this nation’s ideals of equality substantive is the finest expression of what it means to be men. We believe that the new opportunities becoming available to women and men will be beneficial to both. Men can live as happier and more fulfilled human beings by challenging the old-fashioned rules of masculinity that embody the assumption of male superiority.”

MenEngage
We believe that questioning men’s and women’s attitudes and expectations about gender roles is crucial to achieving gender equality.

Founding Fathers We believe boys should be taught that violence does not equal strength.

Understanding the benefits of gender equality is not enough. While growing up, heavy gender expectations are placed on both sexes. Boys and men learn from their fathers and through their relationships how society expects them to treat women. Because there is a close connection between these expectations and sexism, it is important to break down unhealthy expectations before full gender equality can be achieved.

Thank those fathers for being open and learning about what they can do to achieve gender equality for all. Suggest that they read Why Men Should Support Gender Equity and The Family Violence Prevention Fund’s 8 Ways to Coach Boys into Men.

Sincerely,
Shawn, John and the Campaign for Gender Equality Team
Please visit us: here.

Jean Kilbourne, lecturer and keynote speaker focusing on violence, women, and the media.


Chris Brown’s brutal beating of Rihanna reignited talk about domestic violence in this country. That is a good thing! We need to have more honest conversations about this epidemic. Battering is the single most common cause of injury to women in the United States, more common than car accidents, mugging and rape combined.

Much to the misconception of many, victims of domestic violence come from all races, classes and ethnic backgrounds. Of all women murdered in the U.S.—an average of three a day—about one-third were killed by an intimate partner. According to the National Organization for Women , women experience about 4.8 million intimate partner-related physical assaults and rapes every year.

I found this recent article by Megan Twohey and Bonnie Miller Rubin disturbing. 1 in 10 teens suffer from dating violence, yet their reaction to Rihanna’s beating is that she deserved it!

The Need for Education

What is the answer to this gross misconception? According to Twohey and Rubin:

In recent years, some schools and youth organizations have started educating teens about the dangers of dating violence. Rhode Island and Virginia have adopted laws requiring such instruction in the public schools. But most states, including Illinois, don’t have such a mandate and education on the topic remains in short supply, experts say. Two of three new programs created by the federal Violence Against Women Act in 2005 to address teen dating violence were never funded.

Not only are we not doing enough to educate youth about domestic violence, but the media (a prime source of information for today’s youth) doesn’t give domestic violence its due coverage. We barely heard anything about the woman in New York who was recently beheaded by her husband after she had filed for a divorce. Where is the outrage? I know it’s not a pretty story, but if we don’t talk about domestic violence, and, more importantly, learn about its roots and causes, we will never eliminate it.

Women in Boxes: How Abusers Control Women

Battery, whether emotional or physical, is about power and control. Some examples of the different ways violators keep women in line from Dr. Bettina Aptheker’s outstanding DVD collection Introduction to Feminisms .
are.

Emotional – putting her down, making her feel bad about herself, calling her names, making her think that she is crazy.

Economic – trying to keep her from getting or keeping a job, making her ask for money, giving her an allowance, or taking her money.

Sexual – making her do things against her will, physically attacking the sexual parts of her body, and treating her like a sex object.

Using children – using the children to give messages and using visitation as a way to harass.

Threats – making and/or carrying out threats to do something physically or emotionally, threatening to take the children, and threats to commit suicide.

Using male privilege – treating her like a servant, making all the big decisions, acting like the master of the house

Intimidation – putting her in fear by using looks, actions, gestures, loud voices, smashing things, destroying her property.

Isolation – controlling what she does, who she sees and talks to, and where she goes.

Perhaps many readers here do not experience these confinements, but a great many women in our own country still live this way. These patterns of domestic abuse and domestic violence are all about power and control.

To stop the epidemic of violence against women that exists in this country we must break the silence. We must put adequate funding into educating the next generation of girls and boys about violence against women and its root causes. We must have honest conversations about domestic violence and pressure the media to change its portrayal of women as objects.

Pat Bakalian is the Executive Director of the Campaign for Gender Equality a non-profit 501c3 organization focused on raising public awareness of the benefits of gender equality, regardless of age, race, class or sexual orientation, through education and advocacy.

“If we don’t stand up for ourselves….” I have been a long time political activist and feminist. Yes, I said feminist and proud of it. I know that with some people that is not a good word but here is what it means to me very simply – anyone (male or female) who believes in the equality of men and women.

Last month I had lunch with Professor Bettina Aptheker. She is the head of the Women’s Studies (or here we call it Feminist Studies) department at the University of California, Santa Cruz (UCSC). We had a great time talking about what she was doing and what I was doing as the founder of the Campaign for Gender Equality (campaignforgenderequality.org)).

This was a match made in heaven because the Campaign for Gender Equality is working to educate, mobilize and unite people in order to eliminate sexism in this country and Bettina has just released a very important educational tool.

She has been teaching “Introduction to Feminisms” at UCSC for the last 24 years and now has all her classes on DVD’s for everyone to see. Well of course I immediately ordered myself a set – 17-DVD’s for just $20…..such a deal!

Over the holidays I watched all of them…sometimes while doing other things because you know us women have to and know how to milti-task. I came away more knowledgeable and able to see the whole picture.

I was reenergized and felt empowered, not at all angry at what I was learning. Yes, since I am older, I knew a lot of what she was talking about but being able to understand gender inequality, how far we have come in the last 40 years but how far we still need to go gave me a great sense of peace.

Bettina’s “Introduction to Feminisms” places women’s experiences at the center and emphasizes the diversity of women’s lives. She talks about everything from unlearning racism, to loving ourselves, to women, immigration and the global economy, to women and body image, to the politics of rape and how they all interrelate with each other. She is engaging, tells stories and covers sexism, racism and homophobia and how they are connected and contribute to gender inequality in this country and around the world.

I have been talking to many people about Bettina’s DVD’s and a couple of people have suggested that we have “Watch Parties” and talk about it afterwards. This reminded me of the “Conscious Raising” groups for the 60’s and 70’s. I think that it is a great idea because for us to eliminate sexism we must first understand it in a holistic way and how it permeates our society.

There is a lot of information out there but it is not always available and easy to understand. This might be something that you can share with your daughters (and son’s). The Campaign for Gender Equality has partnered with Professor Bettina Aptheker to spread the word. The DVD set is available at: introtofem.org. I hope that you will order it, hold “Watch Parties” and talk about what you can do.

Please pass this on to others and join us by signing up for our newsletter at www.campaignforgenderequality.org.

Ed. Note: Pat Bakalian recommends these books by Professor Bettina Aptheker:

• Woman’s Legacy: Essays on Race, Sex and Class in American History
• Tapestries of Life: Women’s Work, Women’s Consciousness, and the Meaning of Daily Experience
• All Works by Bettina Aptheker.