As I say in this video, my latest project – another attempt to spread culture among the masses and save western civilization – has been a real labour of love. As regular viewers of my Youtube channel will know, I regard Mozart as the greatest composer ever. But while I love a lot of his operatic music, I have never been a great fan of his operas in general. In fact I have never been a great fan of opera in general whether by Mozart or not, even though many operatic pieces rank among my top favorites.

Half of the reason is that they are usually based on obscure stories and are sung in languages I don’t understand. For example, take Mozart’s most popular opera, the Magic Flute. It’s based on an obscure story rooted in 18th Century German Masonic mythology. I don’t know about you, but I find it difficult to relate to 18th Century German Masonic mythology. Particularly if I don’t understand the language.

The other half of the reason is that they tend to have one or two good numbers while the rest of the music is not all that inspiring. Particularly recitative. I have always hated recitative – where they sing dialogue in a very mannered and, to me, rather tedious way.

So I have long thought how wonderful it would be to have an opera packed with some of Mozart’s most beautiful and memorable pieces. I was just waiting for the right story to put his music to. I wanted it to be based on a fairy tale, though not one of the more overdone ones like Cinderella or snow White. I wanted it to reach as wide an audience as possible, and hopefully introduce more people to the wonderful music of Mozart.

On first reading, Hans Christian Andersen’s story about the Marsh King’s daughter did not inspire me. The story didn’t hang together very well and there were great gaps in the narrative which left a lot of things unexplained. But I found that my imagination began to fill in the gaps and expand on the story in a way that really excited me, and I became consumed by a fever of creativity as I found myself totally absorbed by the project. I almost didn’t have to think about it. Everything just seem to come together almost effortlessly, as if I had Mozart and Hans Christian Andersen looking over my shoulder and dictating the whole thing.

Some might mutter aloofly about my audacity in daring to tamper with Mozart’s music. But somehow I am convinced that Mozart himself would not feel that way. I am sure he would welcome any efforts to broaden the appeal of his music.

And I have to confess that I have taken some liberties with his music. For example, there is of course a wedding scene. I could have chosen Mozart’s well known bridesmaid’s chorus for this, but it did not really sit comfortably within the story. So I considered a number of pieces before choosing part of the mid section of his concerto for flute and harp and reshaping it until I was satisfied.

But overall I know I have stayed true to the spirit of his music and to the great composer himself. In the process I have made the music more accessible to singers who have not been operatically trained and who are more used to singing in modern musicals.

This time there is no video involved, however. This is a special preview for NQ readers only. It is a scene from “Pirates in Pinafores: A Gilbert and Sullivan Pastiche”, which features the most popular G&S music (mainly with new lyrics from me) from seven of their shows, all wrapped up in a semi-modern story about love, duty and corporate intrigue. It was partly the reception I got here on NQ and on Youtube to “Modern Intellectual” that inspired me to do a whole show. The final show has 25 songs and two reprises that most people will recognize.

(One of the reasons I haven’t been doing much on NQ or Youtube lately is because I have been too busy with this project and dealing with new interest in my other stage musicals.)

The song in the scene I am printing below is sung by three accountants who work for the Pieman of Penzance (also known as the Franchise King), who has built up a huge fortune with his pie franchise.

SONG 4: AN ACCOUNTANT’S LIFE IS NOT A LOT OF FUN
to the tune of “A Policeman’s Lot Is Not a Happy One” from “Pirates of Penzance”)

ACCOUNTANT 1:
I am Alistair McDuff the chief accountant

CHORUS
Number cruncher

ACCOUNTANTS 2 and 3
And we are his assistants, Keith and Ron

CHORUS
Keith and Ron

ACCOUNTANTS
It’s our job to take good care of all finances

CHORUS
All finances

ACCOUNTANTS
And make sure our number crunching’s never wrong

CHORUS
God forbid

ACCOUNTANTS
But there’s no joy in being an accountant

CHORUS
No excitement

ACCOUNTANTS
For nobody ever thinks of us as fun

CHORUS
Dull as dirt
(ALL YAWN)

ACCOUNTANTS
No-one ever thinks of us as hot and sexy

CHORUS
Never sexy!

ACCOUNTANTS
We always seem so dull to ev’ryone

ALL
It’s not nice when ev’rybody thinks you’re dull
and no fun
An accountant’s lot is not a jolly one
Not a jot

ACCOUNTANTS
But you’ll find in private life we’re quite eccentric

CHORUS:
You? Eccentric?

ACCOUNTANTS
If you knew what we got up to you would say
That you never would have thought that an accountant
Could behave in such a nonconformist way

CHORUS
There’s no way

ACCOUNTANT 1:
In my private life I am an outlaw biker

CHORUS
Who’d have thought it?

ACCOUNTANT 1
At weekends I wear leather ev’ry day

CHORUS
Ev’ry day?

ACCOUNTANT
I ride my Harley with such wild abandon
I scare the pants off all who come my way

ACCOUNTANT 2
At weekends I become a secret nudist

CHORUS
The mind boggles

ACCOUNTANT 2
I strut around as naked as can be

CHORUS
T.M.I.

ACCOUNTANT 2
So never knock upon my door at weekends

CHORUS
We’ll avoid it

ACCOUNTANT 2
Unless you want to see the naked me

CHORUS
No, not me

ACCOUNTANT 3
At weekends I dress up in women’s clothing

CHORUS
No surprise there

ACCOUNTANT 3
I have a diff’rent dress to wear each day

CHORUS
Come what may

ACCOUNTANT 3
I’ve lots and lots and lots of pretty outfits

CHORUS
Bet that cost you!

ACCOUNTANT 3
But though I’m a crossdresser I’m not gay

CHORUS
Gay? No way!

ALL
Oh, when there is number crunching to be done,
to be done
An accountant’s job is not a lot of fun
Not much fun

PS I am now putting Mozart’s music to a Hans Christian Andersen tale. See what you started?

This video explains why I haven’t uploaded many videos lately. It is the first in a three-part series that tells of a musical I have been working on, which I hope will at least provide some entertainment for my friends on No Quater and on my Youtube channel.

If you enjoy musicals, you might enjoy this affectionate parody of musicals in general and some of the great classic musicals like West Side Story, My Fair Lady, Damn Yankees, Singing In The Rain, a Chorus Line, Hello Dolly, How to Succeed in Business (Without Really Trying), and a number of others.

Two more videos are to follow (unless everyone hates the first one!)`

Naturally, my prejudices are evident in the video, even if it is about something as seemingly innocuous as musicals. Political correctness is one of them.

Actually I think they are a bunch of socialized capitalists because they want you to buy this CD for your friends, family and self so they can donate $4.00 from each CD to the NoQauarter spam-killer for mandatory, voluntary reeducation.

Actually it will go towards this website’s operating costs, and that’s good for the Nuts because they are counting on NQ people to provide them fodder for their 2010 release, tentatively titled “ “ to accurately depict all of the great DC accomplishments of late.

The debut CD was written around political and governmental shenanigans that seem to be repeated every cycle by the parties in power. So, instead of burning the few electron-producing chemicals that remain in my head trying to tell you more about the GoverNuts, I will just drop in a few lyrics from the CD.

Hide your wallet. Politika Rock

The polilitika rock is a pile of crock
But I guess we like the rhythm of the blues
Everybody’s swaying to political sayings
And turning on the late night news

Now the GoverNuts got a brand new band
And they think it’ll go all the way
But when they put your hands in your pockets
You can almost hear them say

Politika roll (big money) politika rock
Well we vote ‘em in because we think it’s a sin
To see a politician work a real job

Chicago Politics, most interesting politics
The circus is coming to your town
With jerks, buffoons and elephants
From the House of Delegates
And certified administrative clowns

The big boys put a contract out on capitol hill
Well here’s the deal. Why don’t you all just go home!
We’ll take over. We won’t write no bills
There’ll be no more debates under the capitol dome

Balanced budget. Who do we owe this money to anyhow
Who was dumb enough to loan us this much in the first place

Hail, hail to the mob – We’re going to get it right
- No more parlimentary gobligook
- Peace. Not democracy
- Our way is your way
Hail, hail to the mob –

It’s the Chicago Way.

And evening with me could be the thrill of your life
My shift is almost over let me give you a ride
I got a suitcase full of goodies that I saved form a bust
And the local bar is part of my security trust

We’ll..Turn this whole damn town
Into a pornographic pit
Run out all the preachers
And bring in all the pimps

Put a banner on the interstate
Saying: “Welcome Everyone”
To the world’s largest
Pornographic pit

..they’ve given a whole new meaning
To home town U.S.A.

Come one – Gather all. Now is the time for the Chicken Liveration. Chicken’s Rights!
Brak bak ba ..

Over on the hill by the chicken house
The chicks were having a ball
With pigs at the door, a real live band
And corn from wall to wall

Well everything was going fine
Till off in the distance they heard
A band of people (people!) people
Speaking those people words

It was a very good year because we ate a lot of chicken

Well Clara McClacker said: “Stop the ball!”
Now’s come a time for one and for all
To gather together in the Chicken Liveration

We woke up and saw what they’d done
They’d given us no place to run
The moral minority is now the majority
“Let’s pray” is the priority.

It’s balanced.

The GOP holds a party
And puts a gorilla with religion at the door
While the democrats gather down at the river
And pass around the hat for more.

When I’m dead please bury me in downtown Chicago
So I can still keep casting my vote!