I want to express my appreciation for the opportunity to tell jokes that weren’t funny enough for me to use when we did this five weeks ago. (Laughter.) Whatever. (Laughter.) The jokes may not be as good, but neither is the guest list. (Laughter.) I’m just joking. For me, there’s no contest. Why bother hanging out with celebrities when I can spend time with the people who made me one? (Laughter.) I know where my bread is buttered.

I should say so, Mr. President. The Press threw a yearlong party for you and stuck us with the bill. This video captures part of his remarks:

It is great to be here with so much talent from the world of TV and radio. Despite the flood of new media, I think your programming is more relevant than ever before. At least, that’s the impression I get when I read the blogs every day. (Laughter.)

I appreciate his compliment. Surely big media is increasingly irrelevant while citizen journalists on blogs like this one are doing a helluva lot more to hold our representatives’ feet the fire. Wonder how the Press who have been disseminating his Kool-Aid feel about being told they are, collectively, “his bitch?” The camera cut away to Chris Matthews not looking at all amused. Whatsamatter, Chris, are ya’ pissed the President doesn’t get a tingle up his leg about you?

Mika Brzezinski is here, I believe, in the house. (Applause.) Mika and I have a lot in common. We both have partners named Joe who used to be in Congress and don’t know when to stop talking. (Laughter.)

Gee, I guess Scarborough being the only holdout on MSNBC who thinks our President is kinda goofy has not escaped Obama’s notice. It seems quite narcissistic to so closely monitor every single lowly person who has the temerity to criticize you. But surely VP Biden has done just as much in that regard – thanks, Joe – both of you!

And President Obama cannot help but insult his own senior staff. He talked about wanting to turn Larry Summers into a hologram – you ain’t alone, Mr. President. And of course the evening would not be complete without deriding his very successful and very popular Secretary of State and intimating that her staff wants to maim her:

Now, one person that you know could not be here tonight is Secretary Hillary Clinton. As most of you know, Hillary broke her elbow a few days ago on her way to the White House. And we all wish her a very speedy recovery. I do have to say, though, that while it’s been reported as an accident, there were some suspicious. (Laughter.) Just before the incident, Secret Service spotted Richard Holbrooke spraying WD-40 — (laughter) — all over the driveway. (Laughter.)

No, Mr. President, but I wonder if that’s what you wanted to do – (laughter) – all during the Primary. (laughter).

Not surprisingly, Andrea Mitchell was the one who laughed the loudest at the President’s joke. Why shouldn’t she? She had plenty WD-40 of her own waiting for Hillary last year.

But this is the piece de resistance:

I have to admit, though, it wasn’t easy coming up with fresh material for this dinner. A few nights ago, I was up tossing and turning, trying to figure out exactly what to say. Finally, when I couldn’t get back to sleep, I rolled over and asked Brian Williams what he thought. (Laughter and applause.)

Good one, Mr. President. Brian Williams certainly is in bed with you. Yes, it’s all said in jest, but I wonder if deep down it irks Williams, aka “Mr. Gravitas,” that the man to whom he just bowed his head in an interview sees fit to humiliate him in public. Well, Brian, you broke it, you bought it.

The President then pointed out to more laughter out how “ABC is planning a series called “Dancing with the Czars.” Yeah, let’s celebrate the fact that the people supposed to be doing their jobs can’t do their jobs because we have all these “czars” in the way running interference at every turn. Wow. That is side splitting.

Look, it’s nothing personal, but this dinner conflicts with my date night. (Laughter.) I was supposed to be going out with Michelle for Thai food. In Bangkok. (Laughter and applause.)

That’s a laugh riot! Unemployment keeps rising but you keep making jokes about giving us bread and circuses, spending taxpayer money on these extravagant personal junkets. George Bush got himself into a lot of trouble for giving the impression he was “fiddling while Rome burns.” Let’s see how this behavior works out for you with the voters…

I found this next section particularly telling:

Of course, most of my attention has been focused here back home. As you know, we’ve been working around the clock to repair our major financial institutions and our auto companies. But you probably wouldn’t understand the concept of troubled industries, working as you do in the radio and television.
AUDIENCE: Oooh!
THE PRESIDENT: Oh — we don’t joke about that, huh? (Laughter.) That’s not funny. (Laughter.)

I realize some may hate Hollywood or news networks and blame them for electing Obama, but be aware there are many honorable rank and file folks in TV, radio and film who may not agree with his politics but they still have to feed their families – they are unemployed now too. This is a multi-billion dollar industry that helps keep our country afloat, as much as any other successful industry does. To deride it seems rather ungracious to me. But why not, Mr. President, you’ve got your book deal, right?

And after he made jokes about his fly swatting prowess…here’s a few more tasty treats:

Now, the challenges we face are many, and I’ll be honest — I don’t have all the answers. And when I’m not sure what’s right, I often ask myself, “WWLD?” What would a wise Latino do? …
(snip)
Another difficult challenge is how to help our automakers thrive in the 21st century. We’ve tried a number of different approaches, and tonight, I’m announcing a new one. It’s a plan passed on to me by a close friend and advisor, Oprah Winfrey. So if each of you will look under your seat, you find that — (laughter) — you get a car company! (Laughter.) You get a car company! And FOX — you get AIG. (Laughter.) Enjoy!

The truth is, as I’ve said all along, I have no ambition to run an auto company. I’m not the salesman-in-chief. And GM will rise or fall on the quality of its products — like the taut, athletic design of the new Buick Enclave. (Laughter.) It’s French-seamed leather and warm wood tones make the Enclave more than transportation. (Applause.) It’s a modern driver’s retreat. (Laughter.) Come on, work with me here. I’ve got cars to move, people! (Applause.)

It makes me so happy that the President can mine so much good comedy material from our economic problems and his horrid policies; buying an automaker that even he does not think is much good. Mission Accomplished, Mr. President. Oops. Sorry. That was the other one who said that. Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss.

In closing, the President said the following:

…[D]espite the jokes I’ve told, I’m here tonight because I appreciate the work that all of you do and the role that you play. You report the news as it happens, and you’re covering history as it’s made. With a handheld camera or a mic, or now even a cell phone or a blog, you bring the truth to people and allow people to bring truth to the world.

Well, I’m not sure who in our fourth estate is bringing the truth to the world anymore, but perhaps some of them will take the President’s suggestion to heart and find a way to do their jobs again.

Ironic that on Inauguration Day, when President Barack Obama told Americans it was time to take personal responsibility and “grow up” as a country, some of his supporters behaved like spoiled children in booing George W. Bush.

And, sadly, neither Obama nor any leader in the public spotlight that day seized the moment to admonish the boorish behavior.

It would have been nice had Obama had the presence of mind in his inaugural speech to not only allude to scripture in saying it’s time to put away “childish things” but to also have told the boo-birds that their behavior was inappropriate and the embodiment of those “childish things.”

He might have said: “Isn’t it enough to be just happy for me? When you boo the former president, you fail to understand what this solemn event is all about — the peaceful transition of power. This is not a football game. Nor is it a Third World bloodless coup. This is American democracy at work. If you can’t respect that, then leave. Now.”

Like I said, why the hell would Obama start now? He hasn’t bothered to say anything to any one of his minions at any point during the entire primary or election season, so why would he speak out for Mr. Bush?

And here is another little problem I have – him saying Obama should have said, “Isn’t it enough to be just happy for me?” Um, what? Yes, we should all be happy for The Boy Who Would Be Dictator because this has nothing to do with our actual country. Wowie.

Mr. Frederick’s shock continues:

But no one mustered the courage to say that. While I thought Obama’s speech was otherwise thought-provoking and worthy, he missed an opportunity to call out these boors and chastise their behavior. By not doing so, I am afraid that Obama essentially condoned this kind of mob intolerance. There is already a hateful mean streak among some Obamamaniacs. Left unchecked, it can fester into something quite un-American and un-democratic.

In case you missed it, when President George W. Bush was announced to the crowd, some booed loudly, shocking even the commentators on the official Obama network, MSNBC. One section of onlookers sang, “Nah nah nah nah, hey hey hey, goodbye.” And, finally, as Bush left the White House, one deep thinker took the opportunity to give the “one-finger salute,” thus saying more about himself than anything else.

This from a movement that fancies itself all about peace, love and global karma.

Where in the HELL Has this man been? Clearly, he cannot distinguish between the mantras of the Obama Party and the REALITY of the Obama Party. How many, many times have we written about this, the cruel, aggressive, demeaning, sexist, even misogynistic behavior of Obama’s followers, and that is just toward Secretary of State Hillary Clinton!! It would seem Mr. Frederick’s blindfold and earplugs served him well if he was unaware of these, um, “shenanigans.” The “one-finger salute? Like the one Obama gave to Clinton detailed in THIS article?

He continues:

Now look, it would be a mistake to paint all Democrats and Obama supporters with the actions of these few on Inauguration Day. And, according to news reports, some in the crowd tried hard to shush the boo-birds. That is a hopeful sign.

But let’s also not ignore the obvious. There is a growing faction of the American left that seeks revenge more than righteousness.

Intolerant of dissenting views, this faction thinks as comedian Janeane Garofalo does that some members of the opposing political party should be “jailed.” Terrorist acts (such as mailing envelopes of white power to Mormon temples because the gay marriage vote in California went the church’s way) are seen by this faction as understandable and acts of legitimate political expression.

But of course. Target the Mormons, thus the Senate Majority Leader (why does everyone always forget that Harry Reid is a MORMON, and ANTI-Choice? I just don’t get that.) So, yes, Janeane, let us completely deny that even before the election, the NY Times was predicting that it would be OBAMA’S supporters that would vote IN Prop. 8. That, in fact, was the reality. It was the African American community coming out in droves that tipped the scales, as detailed HERE and HERE.

Mr. Frederick does touch on the issue of race, too:

There is also an ugly racial component to it. We first saw it with Obama’s pastor, the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, who said, among other things, that white America had deliberately inflicted black Africa with AIDS.

When the Rev. Wright first hit the national stage, we hardly knew what to make of his irrational and separatist statements. Consequently, we pretty much ignored the substance of Wright’s racially divisive rhetoric and focused on it as a day-to-day political story. It made us more comfortable, I think.

But in light of the things we saw at the inauguration, it may be time to revisit the dangers of intolerance and hate — no matter the color of the person who makes them — and nip this ugly mean streak in the bud.

As our president said, it is time to grow up. (Sherman Frederick (sfrederick@reviewjournal.com) is publisher of the Review-Journal and president of Stephens Media.

Well, that is just laughable – to expect the most juvenile, petulant, arrogant, immature, empty-suit to tell his minions to grow up. HAHAHAHAHA!! Yeah, maybe when he does.

Beside that, though, is the convenient amnesia of Mr. Frederick regarding what the Rev. Lowery said at the inauguration (h/t to LisaB), highlighted in Pat Racimora’s article, “A Profound Prayer Until..>Wrong Turn!.” To recap, he said this:

Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get in back, when brown can stick around … when yellow will be mellow … when the red man can get ahead, man; and when white will embrace what is right.

Holy cow. Yeah, I think that qualifies as having a racial component.

But it also begs the question WHY Rev. Wright’s incendiary, separatist comments were not addressed more fully? And why his connection, as well as Louis Farrakhan’s, to Obama was continually glossed over by the majority of those in the MSM? Because they were afraid of being called racists? Or because they knew it would be real trouble for Obama if they actually did their job and exposed the belief system in which Obama was a willing participant? Some of us were paying attention, though. Do a “search at: NoQuarter on Rev. Wright, and you will get page after page after page of articles that at least have some mention of him, if not dealing with him directly (far too many to link to here), beginning with this one in March.

Same goes for the “boorish” behavior of Obama’s supporters. The Palin (and Clinton) t-shirts? The intimidation/bullying at the caucuses? “Iron My Shirt” buffoons? Obama turning away from Clinton without greeting her at the SOTU? Obviously, I could go on and on with examples, all of which have been well documented at NQ and other sites. Which raises this question: where in the hell has this guy been, expecting Obama to change his stripes NOW? Just because it was Bush being booed? Because at no time has Obama acted like a “grown up” when his crowds have gone off on his competition – not once. He has been their role model for boorish behavior from debates to rallies. So for anyone to expect anything different now just because he was sworn in a few times is nothing short of delusional.

So to recap, it is way past time to take off the blindfold and take out the earplugs. The booing? Typical. Comments like Garofalo’s? Typical. Intimidation of dissenters? Typical. (Don’t believe me? Just ask the Justice Department since they are suing the Black Panthers.) Racial division by clergy? Typical.

This is who Obama is. To expect him to challenge behavior in which he himself engages is nuts.

Tired of hearing the truth? No problem! All you need is a swig of this special Oil of O’bama and you’ll rid your brain of all those unwanted facts! Don’t be fooled by my supporters telling you we have this in the bag…they’re just sayin’ what they’ve been told to say. A couple of swigs from this Oil of O’bama helps the lies just slide off their silver tongues. Now you can do that, too!

Why is this necessary, you say? Well, I’m only a few weeks away from election day and McCain is ahead of me in the polls, he just reached 50%, a three point lead over me!

Oh yes, we have problems…right here in the Democratic Party. And that’s “Problems” with a capital “P” and that stands for Palin!

Howard Dean didn’t see this one coming. And Axelrod? Well, he didn’t think this was possible. After all, didn’t we smear Hillary enough to scare away any woman who would want to try and break that glass ceiling?

This Oil of O’bama will fix that, though. Just look at the fine job Charlie Gibson did on Palin during her interview on ABC. Yessiree bob, he opened up one of these bottles of Oil of O’bama and shared it with his editors and Voila! Half the interview was left on the cutting room floor. Yup, they made Palin look like she didn’t have a clue as to what she was talking about just by cutting out half of her answers. That’s the beauty of this stuff, it makes it all look so easy!

Buy a bottle for your friends, don’t be afraid to pass it around your college campus because I’m starting to lose some of that youth vote.

I know you guys say you’ll never leave me, and you may think you’re immune to my powers, but you must beware. The next time I pull a stunt like I did with my FISA vote, you’ll want to fortify the brainwashing you received during the Primary. I don’t want to see a repeat of you guys complaining about losing your Constitutional Rights. Once I get elected, I just may re-institute the military draft and you’re going to need my Oil of O’bama to fortify you as you get your draft notices in the mail.

Drink up, people….we’re running out of time and I need to go on vacation.

But then, who would expect any less from the preening, prancing, self-loving Lord Obama when he lowers himself to talk to the dirty masses?

DENVER (Reuters) – Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama’s big speech on Thursday night will be delivered from an elaborate columned stage resembling a miniature Greek temple.

The stage, similar to structures used for rock concerts, has been set up at the 50-yard-line, the midpoint of Invesco Field, the stadium where the Denver Broncos’ National Football League team plays.

Some 80,000 supporters will see Obama appear from between plywood columns painted off-white, reminiscent of Washington’s Capitol building or even the White House, to accept the party’s nomination for president.

He will stride out to a raised platform to a podium that can be raised from beneath the floor.

No, the above statements are not satire. They are real. Thiink about it folks. I’ll wait….

Appropriate to his station in life, The Emperor’s stage will rise well above his adoring crowd of suckers subjects in his own specially designed Parthenon. The Emperor’s speech will be riddled with perfectly timed chants of Oooooooooooooo Baaaaaaaaa Maaaaaaaaaa from the crowd. There will be several perfectly time-released instances of a “member of the crowd” shouting “I LOVE YOU BARACK!”and Obama, chin to the sky, will wait an appropriate 10 seconds before shouting in his best cute,”I LOVE YA RIGHT BACK!” The crowd will roar again as the Emperor once again delays the next teleprompter reading to absorb the worship.

The signs will be pre-made to appear home-made and handed out to select members of the crowd so as to ensure that The Seizer  Caesar is sure to see his name wherever he looks when he deigns to dart his Emperor-eyes away from one of four teleprompters. There may or may not be “fainters,” but this is only a slight possibility because of the suspiciously perfect timing of the fainters early on in his Kingdom formation.

Emperor Obama will carefully time a half dozen seemingly profound, but totally meaningless phrases of hopey and changey and the crowd will go wild with rapture, absorbing His wonderfulness. As the crowd roars, the Emperor will slowly move his head back, chin upwards to the other gods in the sky, eyes at half-mast as he sniffs the rarefied air, ear turned to the crowd as he concurrently drinks and revels in the worship. He will pause, perfectly still and say to himself with the little voice in his head: Yes I am!

He will pause for grapes, fed to him by the toga-clad Obama Girl.

And then…….The Emperor will silently applaud himself in his head.

In the meantime, The Republican video clips will be fully prepared and ready for publication before you can say, “Render Unto The Seizer“.

You are not invited to the toga party afterwards, so get that out of your head. But don’t worry. They didn’t hire out some Hooters gals to dance around for them in appropriate garb. (Well, we can’t be sure…). Obama is saving that for his imagined White House occupation–as he tanks in the polls. But make no mistake. For a Narcissist, that is unimportant. The important thing is….well….is….Him.

Say, I wonder if they bought the Enron fountain of the nekkid man peeing gin for future use?

**Caesar Obama brought to you by the talented Freedom Fairy.

I just thought maybe you might want to take another vacation. Russian troops took some prisoners today and commandeered some USA Humvees in the process.

As you know, Barky, Putin’s poodle, Medvedev, signed an agreement to pull out of Georgia, but goodness, he doesn’t seem to be leaving that country that has fewer residents than the size of the Russian army. He keeps telling us he will leave soon but he just doesn’t keep his promise, I just know he’s dying to talk to you so everybody can kiss and make up.

So Barky, I suggest maybe Jamaica this time.

Then you could call a press conference, make a nice statement about how we need a UN Resolution that Putin can veto. Maybe you might want to give him a call from the sailboat and tell him it’s not nice to be trying to put together the Soviet Union again, but places like Georgia just don’t want to go. You remember the Soviet Union don’t you Barky? Oh that’s right, you were using diapers when they were at their worst, but I just KNOW you read a page about it in your tenth grade the history book, so you’re good to go.

So give him a call. I know he will take your call right away Barky and then pull right out of Georgia just for The One. Right after he finishes falling on the floor holding his stomach and laughing.

What was this you said again Barky–about disarming America? There’s just no end to your brilliance, man! Why don’t you just tell us you are going to hand us right over to your jihad buddies in the Middle East on Day One!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dl32Y7wDVDs[/youtube]

All of this kind of reminds me of a time awhile ago, when that Neo Conservative Fascist Dick Armey referred to Barney Frank as “Barney Fag” during a press conference. He lost his mojo after that one. You never saw a “leader” disappear from public view so fast in your life after that. Armey didn’t “mean” to call Barney a fag. He even tried to say is “sounded” like “fag” but wasn’t “really” fag. But the truth is, a video is a video and Dick called Barney Barney Fag. I heard it and saw it live. But I will agree that he didn’t do it on purpose. It was a slip of the tongue. It’s just that Dick was so accustomed to calling Barney that in front of all his compadres over cigars, scotch and guffaws that he forgot where he was.

The same goes for the Neo Liberal Fascist Howard Dean when he referred to the Republican Party as the “White Party” earlier this week.

Apparently, Howard is an honorary black person now, but the truth is, somebody needs to tell Howard that he’s white too. In fact, he’s not only white, but he looks a little pale these days–but we’ll save that for another time.

The thing is, I’m sure The Dirt Ball Who Has Mastered Divisiveness Howard knows he’s white. He also knows he’s not a woman, else he might have done something more than snicker throughout the primaries and pretend he didn’t notice what his Sexist party did to Women in General and Hillary in Particular. His disdain for the “other” gender even shows through in the video below, when he adds women in as an afterthought, as in “Even Women ….are more successful in the Democratic Party”. Coulda fooled me! Screw you Howard. I really think you are an embarrassing buffoon and I hope you don’t go back to practicing medicine on innocent women when we throw you out of the party and restore some dignity and sense of propriety to the party you have bulldozed. “Even women” vote Howard. And believe me, we aren’t staying home on November 4 like Donna suggested. Just so you know.

Like Dick Armey, Barack Obama’s hood ornament Howard Dean didn’t mean to call the Republican Party the White Party. It’s just that Howard Dean and his band of nomination Fixers have been so accustomed to constantly pulling the Race Card for the past year or so, that he forgot where he was.

Here’s Howard having a lapse and thinking he’s over at a DNC Meeting planning the timing of their next Race Card. And here’s Lou Dobbs ripping him a new one by appropriately describing Dean as “Out of touch with issues of gender, race, politics and propriety“. Dobbs made a pretty good argument that Snide Howard doesn’t deserve the benefit of the doubt I just just gave him.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHH3wrAb-tM[/youtube]

I’m laughing so hard I am practically crying here. What on earth is wrong with Barack Obama? Is he a simpleton? Is he unable to grasp complex problems? Or is it just that he shouldn’t be allowed to speak without a teleprompter?

As you might recall, Manchild Barack Obama has already told us that as President he will expect us to follow his order: “Don’t Drive. Don’t Eat. Freeze Your Butt ala Jimmy Carter Malaise.

Now, according to this turkey, we actually won’t need to drill for oil if only all of us would just inflate our tires.

That’s right folks. You inflate your tires and it will solve our oil problem. We won’t need to drill, because our properly inflated tires will save us the same amount of oil we would garner if we drilled.

I think Powerline says it best:

Barack Obama is a lot like Sean Penn or George Clooney. If you give him a script, he can deliver it pretty well. But if he tries to talk without a script that has been written for him by others, he quickly reveals that he is poorly-informed if not downright ignorant. Today he delivered another classic, by claiming that if only we would all properly inflate our tires, we could save as much gasoline as “all the oil that they’re talking about getting off drilling.” Seriously:

The stunned silence with which the crowd greets this howler suggests that most Americans have a more practical understanding of energy consumption than Obama.

And here’s the “Howler”:

Warning: Do not drink anything while you are watching this. I wouldn’t want your coffee to come out of your nose or ruin your keyboard or anything:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzZNP4tTfV0[/youtube]

Powerline also did the math, which brings us to the conclusion that without a teleprompter and a pre-written script composed by somebody with an IQ,  Barack Obama is truly a stunningly stupid dimwad. While he prances around the country claiming that people will try to make us afraid of him because he doesn’t look like the guys on our currency, it is becoming glaringly apparent that there is good reason to be afraid of him and it has little to do with his tan:

Properly inflating your tires can improve gas mileage by 3%. Of course, many people already keep their tires properly inflated, and many more are at least close to being properly inflated. Let’s be generous and assume that one-half of the total possible savings would be realized if we all inflated our tires properly; that’s a net gain of 1.5% fuel efficiency.

Americans drive approximately 2,880 miles per year. If we average 24 mpg, we use around 120 billion gallons of gasoline in our vehicles. If, through perfect tire inflation, we improved our collective fuel efficiency by 1.5%, that would be 1.8 billion gallons. A barrel of oil produces around 20 gallons of gasoline, so the total savings available through tire inflation is approximately 90,000,000 barrels of oil annually.

How does this stack up against “all the oil that they’re talking about getting off drilling?”

ANWR: 10 billion barrels
Outer Continental Shelf: 18 billion barrels (estimated; the actual total is undoubtedly much higher, since exploration has been banned)
Oil shale: 1 trillion barrels

So, on the above assumptions, it would take only 11,308 years of proper tire inflation to equal “all the oil that they’re talking about getting off drilling.”